


Reciprocity

by MeganRosenberg



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Apocalypse, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figures, Gen, Hurt Glenn Rhee, Hurt/Comfort, Merle Dixon and Glenn Rhee Friendship, Nice Merle Dixon, Protective Merle Dixon, Sexual Assault, Swearing, Violence, Young Glenn Rhee, Zombies, child glenn rhee, father figure merle dixon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-10 19:51:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 26
Words: 98,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganRosenberg/pseuds/MeganRosenberg
Summary: The story of how Merle Dixon and 12-year old Glenn Rhee become unlikely partners in the zombie apocalypse and of the difficult, dangerous people and situations they encounter. Glenn learns how to better survive in a cruel, unforgiving world while Merle learns how to care about someone other than himself.





	1. How It Began

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Chapter 1

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It had all started with bizarre, isolated cases of people doing really weird, really violent, insane stuff for seemingly no reason. The news quickly became obsessed with reporting on it because it was so unbelievable and gruesome. People talked about it at their places of work, at school, or even to strangers on the street, because it was insanely strange and unbelievable... Regardless of everyone's fascination with the events, no one seemed to make much of it rather than shrugging it off and chalking it up to random anomalies in an otherwise still-normal world.

The first incident Glenn heard about was an old man at a hospital trying to eat his doctor's face. The patient had been near death and had slowly gotten weaker and weaker until he lost consciousness and was seemingly dying... only to jump back up out of nowhere with renewed strength and viciously attack the doctor trying to save him. The man had bitten and clawed without remorse like a rabid animal. Some reporters even suggested that he had some kind of rabies that the doctors hadn't caught... But no theories about the story made complete sense.

The doctor had been bitten right on his cheek. The old man had even ripped off a chunk of skin, and didn't stop there. After a rough, violent hand-to-hand scuffle including lots of bites and scratches, the doctor had felt compelled to beat the old man's brains in with an oxygen tank. News reports told a story of the poor doctor trying to be gentle with his patient even after the violent bite, but not being able to subdue the man any other way than by beating him to death.

It was tragic, shocking, violent, gruesome, and all any reporter seemed interested in talking about for several days straight. The story of a kind doctor being forced to brutally beat an elderly patient who had gone crazy was exactly the kind of thing the general public seemed to love hearing about. From what the news report implied, the old guy was very near death at the time of the incident - he should have barely been strong enough to lift his head, let alone viciously attack someone. No one could understand why or even how he'd become so horribly violent out of nowhere. Most people decided it was probably some kind of adrenaline burst right before death. Or maybe he was hallucinating or his brain was malfunctioning. It was certainly odd, but it was only one weird incident. Nothing to freak out over...

Then after that, the doctor who had been attacked by the old man had gone missing, only to turn up in the news again a day or two later when he tried to attack someone's dog out in their yard. The dog's owner had confronted the doctor and had eventually resorted to shooting him in self defense. The story seemed to fizzle out of the news before it was ever properly explained, and people seemed to just forget about it.

Similar stories followed that one - of homeless people randomly attacking strangers, often seemingly trying to take bites out of them... Lots of self-defense shootings seemed to be coming up in the news. Sometimes the people who had been attacked would end up attacking someone else a few days later, almost as though whatever crazy the first person had possessed had rubbed off on them.

His parents had tried to keep Glenn from seeing any of the news reports. It seemed they didn't want him to be scared of whatever was happening, but he was twelve years old. He wasn't stupid, and he had internet access. He probably read and saw more about it than they did, if only because they tried so hard to keep it a secret and it made him all the more curious. He'd read all sorts of articles detailing events similar to that very first story about the old guy and the doctor. Lots of old people near death had attacked their caregivers, and lots of those caregivers had resorted to killing their patients in self defense. The internet was becoming crowded with conspiracy theories about what might be going on and hospital employees who felt like they had the inside scoop about all of this. All the kids at school were talking about it too, no matter how much their teachers told them to not worry about such adult matters.

It was strange, and kind of scary, but most of the adults seemed content to pretty much ignore it. Everyone seemed to think it wasn't such a big deal that random people all around the country were trying to eat each other alive every now and then. Glenn supposed it didn't happen often enough, or close enough to home for his parents to figure it would really matter for their family in particular. As long as it wasn't people in their community eating each other's faces, who cared?

That was a huge mistake it seemed most of the country, if not most of the world had made. The problem did affect them. It affected everyone. Nobody knew how significant it was until it had already spiraled way out of control. By the time people had their guards up and were willing to treat this strange disease as a real problem, it was too late. The situation went from somewhat concerning to completely apocalyptic so quickly. When it started, no one really cared enough to make it a big deal. When it escalated, it made itself a bigger deal than anyone was equipped to handle.

In Glenn's case, his family had made so much effort to pretend like nothing was wrong that when the apocalypse finally hit to the extent that society as he knew it began to crumble, he wasn't even home. He'd wanted to visit his fifteen year old cousin in Atlanta, and his parents had let him. Even with the incidents of people viciously attacking each other in an alarmingly cannibalistic way increasing every day, they still thought it was under control and that it wasn't their problem. They had let Glenn go... And then when the buses, trains, and plains had stopped taking passengers, when the internet and phone lines went down... he had no way back home. He couldn't even confirm that his family was okay or tell them that he was.

He'd spent the first weeks of society's downfall living with his uncle Henry and cousin Sam. In a way, the first couple weeks had been the scariest. Even though there were far more living people than dead at that point, the living were just as ruthless as the walking corpses, sometimes even more so.

While the entire city was in a collective panic, Uncle Henry had taken his son and nephew to the grocery store to stock up on supplies in hopes that they could just wait this whole thing out in their apartment. Everyone else in Atlanta had of course decided to do the same thing. The store had been packed with greedy, desperate people trying to gather as many provisions as possible, at any cost. Women and children were being shoved to the side. Anyone who was smaller than someone else didn't have much chance to walk out of the store with what they'd come for. People were pushing and shoving and threatening each other. There were loud, angry verbal fights over bottles of water. One man had blood running out of his nose and a bag of canned food hugged tightly against his chest as he elbowed his way out of the store, shoving Glenn particularly hard when the boy had accidentally stood in his way. Someone had violently snatched a couple cans of vegetables right out of Sam's hands. A younger lady actually shoved an old man to the ground and stole his cart full of food. Everyone had been in there only for themselves and their families. They didn't care if they had to hurt those smaller, weaker, or just more polite than them.

That day, the three of them had barely managed to collect enough food to last them a week before the people around them got too violent for Henry to want to risk staying any longer. They'd left the store with a couple bags of food and water and quite a few bruises. Sam had even been elbowed in the face by someone - hopefully not on purpose, and had a split lip when they returned home. Needless to day, Henry didn't allow Glenn and Sam to come with him to gather supplies after that.

Once they were safely home, he made it a point to tell them to never let the state of the world turn them into monsters like it had to the people in the store. "No matter what happens, don't let this world change you into that," he had said. "You're both caring, kind, generous young men. I know I don't have to tell you this, but there is never an excuse to treat another human being as less important than yourself. This world belongs to everyone, not just the strong."

Glenn certainly felt like that made sense, not that he presently had the opportunity to be anything but generous. Being a twelve year old boy, and a rather small one at that, he wasn't really in the position to forcefully shove people out of his way or take their things. Even if he could though, he didn't think he'd want to. The way the greedy people in the store had behaved was unattractive. They got what they wanted, but at the cost of hurting others. He couldn't see how they could possibly feel good about themselves after that...

One day, when the living crowds had died down and the dead had all but taken over the city, Uncle Henry had gone out for supplies and had never returned. Sam and Glenn waited a full two days before going out on their own, even though they knew Henry didn't want them to. They searched all the stores Henry usually frequented. They never did find him, living, dead, or undead.

Glenn didn't know for sure what he wanted to hope had happened to his uncle. Would it be better if he got eaten alive? Or better if he had gotten tired of the responsibility of his son and nephew and just left? Thinking about the man abandoning them broke his heart, but thinking about him being torn violently apart broke it worse. A big part of him knew his uncle wasn't the sort of man who would abandon them, but he still wanted to wish for that when he considered what the alternative was. Glenn hoped Henry was alright, wherever he was, but he had a pretty good feeling he was never going to see the man again. He was almost definitely dead. He would have come back if he weren't.

Glenn and Sam spent the next weeks fending for themselves, which really wasn't so hard now that most of the living had either fled or become a part of the shuffling mass of walking dead. The living corpses were scary, and Glenn knew every single one of them wanted him dead, but in a way, they were a safer bet than going out among the usual population of Atlanta. At least with the dead, Glenn knew what he was up against. Every single one of the slow, dead-eyed cannibals wanted one thing, and went about it in a very simple, straight-forward way. If he encountered one of the dead, he knew it would slowly come after him and do whatever it could to eat him alive. With the humans who were still alive, he didn't know what to expect. Which ones were still decent even without laws to force them to be? Which ones might share their water with two young teenagers in need, and which ones would see two young teenagers in need and know overpowering them would be easy and decide to rob them or maybe even kill them? At this point, it was scarier to find a living person than a dead one. The living had secret plans, ulterior motives, selfish and cruel desires. The dead were honest.

Now that almost everyone in the town was dead, Glenn knew exactly what to expect, and sort of felt like he was adapting to it pretty well. He was faster than the dead, smaller than most of them... He could squeeze into places they couldn't follow. He outran them all the time. It wasn't really that hard. Sam had even acknowledged that Glenn was better at sneaking around than he was and let Glenn make himself useful - something Uncle Henry wouldn't have allowed.

He and Sam had found some walkie talkies left behind by the military and had been using them when they needed to scavenge for supplies. While sticking together seemed like a smart idea, they figured staying separated by a small distance was a better idea. That way they could create distractions if need be. If one of them got surrounded, the other could try to lure the walking corpses away. They'd never both be trapped in the same place. It seemed safer.

"You run down there and collect as much stuff as you can," Sam instructed as he handed Glenn the back pack Glenn always used for these trips. "If too many of them catch up to you, just call me on the walkie. I'll distract them."

Glenn nodded. "Stay up here unless I say otherwise," he advised. At the moment, he and his cousin were up on a fire escape that led down from their apartment window. The street was mostly clear of the dead, so it seemed like it would be an easy journey to the store and back, but he wanted Sam to stay up high, safe and with good visibility. Unless there was an emergency, Sam wouldn't need to risk a thing today. Only Glenn would.

"You sure you don't want me to go?" Sam asked with a furrowed brow. He knew Glenn was faster, but he clearly didn't feel great about allowing his younger cousin to take this risk time after time.

"I'm good at this, Sam." Glenn put his hand on his cousin's shoulder and offered him a small smile. "Uncle Henry always said he wanted us not to be selfish. I can be helpful, so I should be."

"You're a good kid, Glenn." Sam smiled back. "Remember to be careful, and call if you need help. I'll let you know if I see any big groups headed your way. And be quick, but above all else be careful. Careful first, quick second."

Glenn nodded and climbed down the ladder. It would be getting dark relatively soon, so he knew he needed to hurry, but these runs never took longer than twenty minutes. He was confident he and Sam would be right back up in their apartment snacking on whatever goodies Glenn found in less than a half hour. "I'll be right back." He grinned up at his cousin and turned toward the street.

Quickly, Glenn made his way down the deserted road and toward the usual store they had gotten into the habit of raiding. It was a smaller store that never was very busy before the apocalypse. He didn't think a lot of people remembered that it even existed, so when the world turned into chaos, it was practically skipped over by looters. It didn't have everything, but it had what Glenn and Sam needed. Glenn could fill up his bag and they'd be good to go for another week or so.

As he neared the store, he noticed a few of the dead, which he and Sam had started to call 'geeks' stumbling down the road in the distance. Glenn couldn't tell if they had seen him or not. They were still far enough away that it didn't matter. If he was quick enough, he'd be gone before they ever reached the store.

Glenn ducked into the shop and made his way toward the back, where he knew bottled water was kept. He found a package of 24 bottles, which he'd opened the last time he was here, and stuffed six bottles into the bottom of his back pack. He couldn't afford to fill the whole thing up with water, and planned to grab a couple gallon jugs as well. They were easier to carry than the giant cases of bottles.

Next, he grabbed a gallon of water in each hand and headed for the canned food, collecting a couple packages of ramen noodles along the way. He set the jugs down and looked through the cans, selecting the ones he knew were his and Sam's favorites. Once he'd filled the bag almost completely with cans, he peaked over the shelves toward the front door to make sure he was still alone before heading for the snack aisle. If there was one good thing about the apocalypse, it was that no one was around to make sure he didn't eat too many cookies and chips, and there were entire stores full of them, all for free.

Glenn stuffed a package of cookies into the top of the backpack, crushing the corners of it a bit so that he could zip the bag. He bit his lip as he looked down the isle at the chips. He really didn't have room for them in the bag, and his hands were going to be full with the gallon jugs of water. Maybe it would be worthwhile to have Sam come with him next time, if only so they could get a second bag stuffed full with junk food. It seemed a foolish thing to risk their lives for though...

Glenn flinched as the walkie talkie hanging from his belt made a squelching noise followed by Sam's voice. "-coming down the road." The beginning of whatever Sam was trying to tell him seemed to be cut off. They didn't use the walkie talkies that much. Sam always started talking a couple seconds before remembering to press down the button.

Pressing down the button on his own walkie, Glenn asked, "Say that again?"

"There's about twelve geeks headed your way. Should I try to lure them away?" Sam's voice asked.

Glenn shook his head before responding. "Can I take the back way? I don't want you coming down unless you have to. Is the alley clear?"

The walkie talkie squelched again. "-just gonna try to distract them. Just wait there for a second. I'll take care of 'em," Sam's voice told him.

"Sam, wait." Glenn pulled the straps of the backpack securely up on his shoulders and held tightly onto his walkie talkie. "Is the back way clear? I can just take the alley."

There was no response.

"Sam?" Glenn spoke into the walkie talkie, waited for a response, and then pressed the button again. "Are you there?"

When his cousin still didn't answer, Glenn sighed, grabbed up his jugs of water, and quickly made his way toward the store's front. He stepped out the front door in time to see the geeks he'd seen a distance away earlier were pretty close by now. Turning the other way - back toward the fire escape that led to their apartment, Glenn saw Sam waving his arms and jumping up and down a bit, all while yelling to gain the attention of the hungry dead.

"Over here! Come on!" Sam yelled out to them as he herded them away.

Glenn grimaced and turned back toward the three geeks heading toward him in the other direction. He supposed Sam was right. If his cousin didn't lead away the larger group, Glenn really would have been surrounded.

"Glenn!" Sam yelled to him from quite a way down the street. "Get to the stairs. I'll run around the block and meet you there!"

Frowning, Glenn did as his cousin asked, somewhat slowly making his way down the street. If he moved too fast, the geeks Sam was trying to lead away might turn back and go after him. If he moved too slow, the geeks behind him would catch up. He just needed to move fast enough to outrun the ones following him without drawing in the attention of the ones Sam was luring away.

His arms and shoulders ached as he made his way down the street. The jugs were heavy and the backpack full of canned food was heavier. Glenn felt a cold feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach as he neared the escape ladder. He didn't like this plan. What if Sam didn't make it back? He'd already lost his uncle. If he lost his cousin too, he was going to be completely alone...

He placed one of the gallon jugs on the ground and climbed one-handed up the ladder. One of the geeks that had been following him was only about fifteen feet away by now. He wasn't going to be able to go back for the other jug...

As soon as he was safely up the fire escape, Glenn pressed down the button on the walkie talkie. "Sam, one of them followed me. It's at the bottom of the ladder," he told his cousin as he stared down at the walking corpse growling back at him as it scowled back with milky eyes. How was Sam going to get up the ladder with that there? "What should I do?" he asked in a nervous, breathless voice.

"Just stay put," Sam' voice instructed through the walkie talkie's speaker. "I'll kill it."

Glenn stared with wide eyes down at the undead man clawing at the ladder and looking up at him with pale, glazed-over eyes, one of which had blood oozing from its socket. Neither him nor Sam had ever killed one of them before. They'd seen other people do it. They'd seen Uncle Henry have to resort to killing a few. Did Sam really know how to do something like that? They often carried small knives with them just in case, but had never actually used them to kill the geeks. Getting close enough to kill them was so dangerous. Outrunning the monsters was always a safer alternative.

"I can go inside and find a different fire escape and lure it away," Glenn suggested into the walkie talkie.

"No, Glenn. We don't know who or what is in the other apartments," Sam's voice insisted. He sounded somewhat out of breath from running around the block. "Just stay where you are."

Glenn shook his head and silently decided to do this his way, regardless of what his cousin said. If Sam was willing to lead twelve of them away for Glenn, Glenn could lead one away for Sam.

He left his backpack and water on the fire escape and climbed into their apartment's window. Slowly and carefully, he made his way down the hall. So far, they hadn't heard anything on their floor. There was no indication that anyone else still lived there. The space was dimly lit only by sunlight coming through a few windows at the end of the hall and was eerily quiet. He made his way to an apartment that would have a window on a different side of the building than the one he'd just come from in his own apartment.

Fortunately, whoever had lived here had kept the front door unlocked. Glenn made his way inside and lifted the window which led to another fire escape. He climbed out and peered down toward the corner.

"Hey, geek!" he yelled, hoping the one at the bottom of their own fire escape would hear him and move out of Sam's way. "Over here!"

"Glenn?" The walkie talkie on his belt immediately squelched. "What are you doing?"

"I'm luring it away so you can get up," Glenn told him before screaming out to the zombie again. "Over here! Heeeyy!" It didn't take long for the dead thing to make its way around the corner and start shuffling toward him. Glenn smiled. "You're all clear," he said into the walkie talkie. He watched the geek for a few moments, making sure it was a fair distance from the fire escape Sam would be using. Then he turned back toward the window to the stranger's apartment.

Just before he climbed back inside, however, he noticed something moving around in there.

Glenn grimaced and narrowed his eyes as he stared into the dark room. By the time his eyes had adjusted, he saw that the thing moving around in there was another geek, and it had noticed him too.

With a gasp, Glenn stepped back, colliding with the rail of the fire escape and nearly tripping himself. Thinking quickly, he reached forward and slammed the window shut in time to stop the geek from climbing out after him. Unfortunately, now he was trapped between two of them. This fire escape didn't go up or down to any other apartment. His way out was down onto the street, where a hungry corpse was waiting, or through the window, where another one was.

Swallowing, Glenn stared through the glass at the dead man who stared back at him as it growled and slammed its hands hungrily against the glass. Glenn could hear the window threatening to break with each additional thudding impact.

Gripping his knife in a shaking hand, Glenn put as much distance between himself and the window as he could. He wasn't ready to make his first geek kill. He wasn't confident that he could do it without getting himself bitten. He knew destroying their brains stopped them, but to get close enough to do that with just a knife was going to be very difficult.

"Glenn, where are you?" Sam's voice asked through the walkie talkie.

Still staring at the window and gripping his knife securely, Glenn grabbed the walkie with his other hand and answered. "I'm down the hall on the fire escape of an apartment with an east-facing window... It was like three doors down, I think... I'm kinda cornered... There's a geek in there! I-" He hesitated, inhaling and exhaling slowly. "I'm going to try to kill it, Sam."

Sam didn't respond.

Glenn watched as the dead hands continued slamming up against the window. Small, yet terrifying cracking sounds accompanied them as blackened blood smudged the window in the shape of hand prints. He pouted as he squeezed the handle of his knife and backed himself up against the railing. His throat felt dry and he was actually shaking. He really didn't want to do this.

All at once, the geek managed to break the window in a pretty significant way. A huge chunk of glass fell out as the dead thing clawed its hands through the new opening. It didn't even care that the edges of the broken window were slicing into its skin.

Glenn whimpered and backed himself up further. He wanted to look away from the disgusting scene before him, but he couldn't afford to. He tightened his grip around his knife and breathed in a shaking breath before quickly lunging forward and swinging at the corpse.

He managed to stab it right through its jaw, which, unfortunately, wasn't exactly where he was aiming. The corpse made a frustrated growling sound and retracted its head for just long enough to make Glenn lose his grip on his knife. Now it was stuck in the side of the geek's face and Glenn had no defense at all.

Looking down at the ground, Glenn saw the other zombie down at the bottom of the ladder, reaching its dead hands up and clawing at the bars. The few other geeks who had been following him back closer to the store had caught up and made Glenn's potential escape down the ladder an even more improbable long shot. He looked back toward the window and tried to back himself further against the railing as the corpse clawed its bloody arms out toward him.

Glenn cautiously reached for his knife only to have the corpse snap its teeth at his hand. He quickly drew back and let out a small, terrified whimper. He should have listened to Sam. His cousin probably could have killed the one at the bottom of the ladder more easily. Glenn just didn't want to make Sam do everything. He wanted to be helpful.

Quick, almost painful breaths rose and fell in Glenn's chest as he pressed his back against the railing and contemplated climbing down the ladder and just trying to shove the geeks down there back enough to make a run for it. It didn't seem there was any way out of this. The one struggling to pull itself out the window was getting slowly closer and closer. Glenn was going to run out of space between the two threats eventually.

"Sam," Glenn whispered into the walkie talkie as he held it in trembling hands. "I'm trapped..." He didn't want to ask his cousin to help, because if he tried to do this for Glenn, he might just get himself killed too, but he was so scared and knew he had no chance of getting out of this on his own. Sam didn't answer. "Sam?" Glenn squeaked in a small voice. What if his cousin hadn't made it back? Maybe the geeks he'd been luring away swarmed him...

Whimpering, Glenn pressed himself further against the railing, sliding down to a sitting position as he cowered down away from the clawing, decaying arms that were getting closer and closer as the corpse struggled to pull itself over the window's ledge. Glenn was all alone, and had no way to defend himself against this. He had gotten too confident, and now it was going to cost him his life.

Feeling he had no way out, Glenn squeezed his eyes shut and let out a small, pathetic sob. If he was going to be torn apart and eaten alive, he at least didn't want to witness it happening. Curling himself into a small ball, Glenn hid his face, held his breath, and waited for his painful demise.

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	2. What Ever Happened to Old Man Bill?

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Chapter 2

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As Glenn cowered down with his eyes closed and his hands covering his face, he listened to the terrifying sounds of growling - both right in front of him and down below. He smelled the overpowering, yet familiar stench of decay as he felt his body shaking in fear. Never in his life did he dream that he'd die like this.

Although by now Glenn kind of felt like he had accepted his fate - that his cousin was probably dead and that he would be too in just a few short, agonizing moments, all at once he felt almost angry rather than scared. As a new burst of hope and a renewed will to keep fighting came over himself, he realized that letting this geek have its way without a fight was simply not an option. If he resigned himself to die right here, right now, it would mean minutes upon minutes of horrific, agonizing pain. He knew as well as anyone else that geeks didn't kill people quickly. They literally ate people alive. Geeks didn't hesitate or flinch while their victims screamed and sobbed and they didn't kill just for the sake of killing. They killed because they were hungry. Geeks could potentially chew a person's limbs down to the bone all while the person screamed and failed to die. It wasn't just death Glenn was facing now, but the most horrifying nightmare imaginable. Being killed by a geek would mean going on living while his skin, muscles, and organs were torn off of him.

If he was going to die anyway, he might as well go down fighting. He opened his eyes and scowled at the disgusting creature still dragging itself out of the broken window. As it pulled itself through the glass, its skin and clothing caught on the sharp edges, cutting its flesh and making a horrific, bloody mess.

Glenn swallowed and reached out toward his knife which was still jutting out of the side of the geek's jaw. He winced and retracted his hand when the monster snapped its teeth at him again. Before he could go for the knife once more, the decaying man reached out with his mangled, bloodied hands and grabbed at him, managing to grip the font of his shirt and pull him forward.

Though of course he knew it would do him no good, out of instinct Glenn screamed a loud, shrill, desperate scream as he put his palm desperately against the geek's forehead and pushed back in an effort to make sure it couldn't bite him.

"Let me go!" Glenn cried out. He knew the cannibalistic walking corpse couldn't understand him, but he begged anyway as he tried to shrink away. "No! Let go!" He heard tears in his voice as he struggled with his aggressor and somehow still managed to remain unbitten and un-scratched.

"Glenn!" Suddenly he heard his cousin's voice, and he sounded close too, but Glenn could only focus on keeping the geek from biting or clawing him.

"Sam, help!" Glenn cried in desperation as he pushed the zombie back away from him and pressed his back against the fire escape's railing.

All at once, the geek was pulled harshly away from him, backward through the window it had just clawed its way through. More glass cut into its skin and broke off in its deteriorating muscles as Sam pulled it back inside.

Glenn breathed out a shaking breath and drew his knees up to his chest as he stared toward the window. He could hear the sounds of movement inside, but couldn't see a thing from where he was cowering.

"Sam?" Glenn called out in a small, trembling voice.

There were more sounds of struggling and growling. Glenn heard crunching glass and Sam's loud, frantic breathing, then finally a strange sort of growl that sounded more like Sam than one of the dead, followed by a thud and then silence.

"Sam?" Glenn said again as he pulled himself up onto shaking legs. "Are you okay?"

When there still came no answer, Glenn cautiously made his way back toward the window. He squinted into the darkness, finally seeing Sam, who was breathing hard as he stepped toward the window and carefully pulled it open, even though most of the glass had been broken out of it by now.

"You alright, Glenn?" Sam breathed out as he reached out his hand toward his cousin to help him climb through the window. "Be careful. Don't cut yourself on the glass."

Glenn nodded as he carefully climbed through the window, hearing the shards of glass crunching under his shoes. "I'm okay... Are you?" He wondered as he climbed into the apartment and looked down at the bloody geek lying on the floor near the window. "You did it, Sam," Glenn noted. "You killed one."

"Yeah," Sam exhaled. He reached down and pulled Glenn's knife out of the geek's jaw. "We'll clean this up for you," he said in an out-of-breath voice.

"Thanks, Sam." Glenn allowed his cousin to put his arm around his shoulders and lead him back toward their apartment. "It didn't bite you, did it?" Glenn asked again. He wasn't sure if Sam really ever actually answered him the first time.

Sam hesitated, but finally answered with a simple, "no."

"You sure? Are you okay? You seem kinda..." Glenn shrugged.

"It's fine, Glenn. He didn't bite me. I'm fine," Sam insisted. There was an edge to his voice. He seemed kind of annoyed by Glenn's questions.

"Sorry." Glenn frowned and looked down. "I just wanted to make sure it didn't bite you... I just wanted to know that you're okay..."

"I knew that guy. That's all," Sam elaborated in a more gentle voice. "He was nice..."

"Oh." Glenn frowned. "I'm sorry you had to do that... I'm sorry I couldn't do it myself. I tried to..."

"I know... It's okay." Sam forced a smile and led Glenn into their apartment. "I'm going to go clean this blood off of me and wash your knife off. I'll be right back."

Glenn nodded and sat down on the floor outside the bathroom while Sam went inside. Their apartment didn't have running water anymore, but they kept a bucket of water near the sink so they could keep themselves clean and flush their toilet.

"We can't keep living like this, Glenn," Sam called out from the bathroom.

Glenn frowned as he listened to the sounds of water splashing. Sam was right. That was too close a call for both of them. "What can we do differently though?" Glenn wondered. There were geeks all over the city. There was really no way to avoid them.

"We can't keep living on our own," Sam told him.

"But there's no one left. We have to live on our own," Glenn reminded him. "Maybe we could find a gun and then we can kill them from far away like the military."

"Neither of us know how to use a gun, Glenn," Sam sighed and more splashing sounds followed. "We should head out in the morning and try to find another group of survivors. Someone who would let us join them so we wouldn't be on our own. There's got to be people out there who are good at surviving but are also willing to help others."

Glenn looked down at his shirt, which had smudges of blood on it. Fortunately, the blood was from the geek who'd grabbed him and wasn't his own. "I don't know if anyone is willing to help others anymore, Sam. Probably most of the people left are only still alive because they looked out for themselves and no one else. Good people didn't live. Greedy, selfish people like the ones in the store that day are the only ones left."

"That can't be true," Sam spoke as he walked out of the bathroom.

Glenn stood up and frowned up at his cousin. "It is true, Sam. That's why Uncle Henry is gone. He would have helped people. Maybe he tried to. Maybe that's why he never came back. Maybe he tried to help someone and it got him killed. He probably tried to save someone, and then they turned around and killed him to take whatever supplies he had. People aren't generous anymore. Not the ones that are left."

Sam shook his head. "He wouldn't want you to think like that, Glenn. Most people are good. The bad ones just sometimes stand out so you notice them more than the nice ones. We've got to find other people. We won't last if we don't."

Glenn exhaled, but he knew Sam was right. They weren't very good at living on their own. Glenn was good at going on supply runs, for the most part... but that was it. He wasn't good at defending himself when he needed to, and Sam wasn't really much better.

He followed Sam into the living room where the older boy lit a few candles and sat down on the couch with a stressed exhale.

"You okay, Sam?" Glenn wondered as he stared at his cousin with furrowed brows.

"Yeah, Glenn. I said I was fine. He didn't bite me. I'm fine. Stop asking." Sam seemed annoyed.

Glenn frowned. "I didn't mean that... I mean are you alright since you just killed one of them for the first time... That was scary... And you knew him."

"Oh." Sam's expression softened. "Yeah... I'm alright. It wasn't exactly fun, but this is what the world is now."

Glenn nodded slightly. He wondered if they really would ever get used to this. Glenn still couldn't kill even one geek on his own. If Sam hadn't been there, Glenn would have surely been killed.

"Why don't you show me what you got from the store?" Sam changed the subject.

"Okay." Glenn nodded and smiled. He headed toward the window and pulled his bag in from the fire escape and then grabbed the gallon of water that was next to it. "I had another jug of water too, but it's still down there. I can go get it."

"No. Leave it for now," Sam suggested. "We'll do fine with one. I don't want either of us leaving the house for the time being."

Glenn could definitely agree with that. No matter how quick and simple it seemed it would be to go down to the street and retrieve the water, he really would rather not. He unzipped the bag and pulled the package of cookies out first.

Sam smiled and laughed. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist getting junk."

Glenn shrugged and opened the package, taking a stack of four cookies and handing them over to Sam who gladly accepted them. He took another cookie in his own hand and bit into it while he pulled various cans out of the bag and placed them on the small coffee table in front of the couch so Sam could see them.

"I mostly just got canned stuff this time," Glenn told his cousin. "Since I got so many boxes of crackers and fruit roll ups last week."

"I'm so glad you didn't get more fruit roll ups," Sam laughed as he chewed on a cookie. Last time Glenn had gone on a supply run, he'd found a huge display of his favorite kind of fruit roll ups and had under-estimated how much food they needed and over-estimated how many fruit roll ups they'd be able to consume without quickly getting sick of them. He'd filled the back pack up half-way with fruit roll ups and the rest of the way with boxes of cracker snacks. He'd only gotten as many cans that would fit into a plastic grocery bag, which was far less than they could have actually used during the week. Sam didn't want to go down to the street if they didn't have to, so they'd stretched the canned food out all week and since the rations were so small, they'd filled up on the fruit roll ups and crackers.

"I got lots of potatoes," Glenn told him as he took several cans of them out of the bag. "We both like those. I know you don't like peas, but I got a couple cans for me. I got green beans for you. There were a couple cans of soup that I never noticed before too, and some more ramen. I know we're both sick of it, but it really hits the spot when you're literally starving," Glenn went on and then took some canned fruit out of the bag. "And peaches and pineapple for dessert." He grinned, placing the cans on the table.

"We can have whatever you want tonight," Sam offered. "As much as you want. Since we're heading out tomorrow anyway, we might as well. We can't carry it all with us."

Glenn smiled for a moment, but frowned when he thought about leaving the safety of their apartment. "So we're just gonna start walking down the street and hope we don't get killed or what?" As much as he could agree with Sam that they might do better in a group with capable adults, actually going about finding such a group seemed nearly impossible, and very risky. They might only find bad people... or maybe no one at all.

"We have to, Glenn." Sam frowned. "We can try to find a car so we can go further... but we can't keep going like this."

Glenn sighed and selected a can of peaches from the stash he'd just collected. He turned the can over in his hands and picked at the label with his thumb nail. He didn't really feel that hungry anymore. He felt pretty dreadful at the thought of heading out into the city with no real plan.

"We'll be careful. I know we kinda screwed up today, but that doesn't erase all the times we did fine. You're still good at navigating the streets," Sam told him.

"I guess." Glenn shrugged as he put the can back down and joined his cousin on the couch.

"My dad would be proud of you, Glenn," Sam said out of nowhere as he put his arm around Glenn's shoulders.

Glenn frowned and raised his eyebrows as he looked over at his cousin. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he would be." Sam shrugged. "You're smart, brave, and selfless... I don't think he could ask for you to be any greater than you are."

Glenn offered a nervous laugh. It was weird to have Sam saying stuff like this to him. Glenn was very far from perfect, and certainly wasn't always smart, brave, or selfless. Was it smart to run into a mysterious apartment without checking it for geeks first? Was it brave to cower down on the fire escape and cry instead of killing the geek like Sam did? Was it selfless to stay out on the fire escape while Sam was forced to kill a man he seemed to have known before this? Glenn's failure to take care of the geek on his own had put his cousin in danger... He was too scared and selfish to kill it himself.

"I mean it, Glenn," Sam insisted, seeming to sense Glenn's feelings. "I know I told you to stay put and not try to distract that geek, but it was brave of you to take a risk for my sake."

Glenn shook his head and frowned. "It was dumb... I ran into that apartment without checking that it was empty first. I almost got myself killed... I almost got you killed. I was too scared and I really almost gave up... For a second, I was just going to sit there and let it eat me, because I didn't think I could do anything else. I'm not brave like you, and I'm certainly not smart."

"Don't say that." Sam stared at him with a frown. "You had to make a choice quickly and you did. If you'd have waited and checked the apartment first, you wouldn't have been able to distract the geek and lure it away before I got back to the ladder. I wouldn't have been able to climb up. Maybe I would have even been cornered between that one and the mass of them following me..."

Glenn shrugged. He supposed there was no way of knowing what could have been if he had made a different choice. Maybe Sam would have tried to kill the geek at the bottom of the fire escape and would have been bitten by it. Even though Glenn's choice had led to a terrifying moment that had nearly gotten them both killed, maybe it really could have been worse. Maybe no matter what he did today, things wouldn't have worked out how they had planned.

"You did good... You just need someone more capable than me to teach you how to kill them. I can't teach you, because I suck at it." Sam laughed as he pulled Glenn closer against him.

Glenn tried to smile as he leaned his head against Sam's shoulder. "What was his name?" he wondered. "The guy in the apartment... Who was he?"

"Bill," Sam answered. "He lived in there all alone. His grand kids visited sometimes, but hardly anyone else ever did. The grand kids were in their twenties. I think his daughter died in a car accident or something a couple years ago so just the grand kids visited. As far as I know, he didn't have any other kids or a wife or anything. He was all by himself a lot of the time. He was always nice when I passed him in the hall. He gave me bubble gum all the time like he thought I was a little kid. I don't chew gum, but I took it anyway and he always seemed happy when I acted like I really appreciated it. I guess we should have checked his apartment sooner. I never thought he might have been in there this whole time."

Glenn nodded. "That's really sad... He probably died all alone."

"Yeah," Sam agreed with a small frown and a sigh. "I guess we should have checked on him. We knew he lived alone. I guess Dad just figured everyone in the building evacuated, because I'm certain he would have checked in on Bill if he knew. I didn't honestly think anyone else was still here. I mean, I wanted to be careful just in case, but he wasn't making noise or anything."

"What do you think he died of?" Glenn wondered.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe old age - a heart attack or something. Maybe he got bitten and just went home to die. Or maybe he didn't know that a bite would kill him and went home thinking it wasn't anything to worry too much over. It doesn't really matter. We'll never know unless we go check him for bites, and I sure don't want to do that."

"It's weird to think all the geeks down there used to be people like you and me. Like Bill used to be a nice old man, but that thing back there wasn't nice at all. They're so scary, and when one tries to get you, you panic and it just looks like a horrible monster, but it's a person... or it was... Like I could be one someday. Someday I might be climbing through broken glass, trying to eat somebody, not caring that the glass is cutting into me... just climbing through, wanting nothing but to eat someone alive." He shuddered.

"You won't be like that, Glenn," Sam assured him and pulled him closer. "We're gonna get you someplace safer. You won't ever be one of them."

xxxxxx


	3. Until It Doesn't

xxxxxx

Chapter 3

xxxxxx

Sam and Glenn headed out very early the next morning. The sun had only just risen when Glenn awoke to the feeling of Sam shaking his shoulder. The older boy had packed two backpacks full of supplies, had them ready by the door, and had insisted that they leave right away, even though he looked exhausted and Glenn felt like he was still half asleep while they made their way downstairs.

"Why are we in such a hurry?" Glenn complained with a yawn as he followed Sam down the street. Fortunately, most of the geeks must have been occupied elsewhere, because only a few stray ones wandered here and there, and the boys' pace was quick enough that they were not yet a problem. As long as they kept moving, the dead would be too slow to catch up.

"The sooner we find a group the better, Glenn," Sam explained. "We don't have a plan. We don't know where we're going or who we're looking for, so we needed to give ourselves as much daytime as possible."

"Do you think we'll be walking all day?" Glenn frowned as he practically dragged his feet behind his cousin. He was already tired and they hadn't even been walking for more than an hour yet.

"I don't know, Glenn." Sam exhaled. "Just keep going. We don't have a choice."

"Well, we could have stayed at the apartment." Glenn shrugged. "I know we're not a perfect team, but we do alright... usually. And we know we can trust each other at least. It's kind of just as much risk to keep doing what we've been doing as it is to go off aimlessly looking for people who might rob and kill us. Probably would be significantly less risky, really. We only almost died the one time in like a full month of it just being you and me. I don't think staying would be such a bad idea."

"You can't stay in that apartment forever, Glenn." Sam scowled at him and was clearly fighting not to raise his voice. "If you stay there, eventually you'll get yourself killed. And even if you didn't, that little corner store isn't going to last you for the rest of your life."

"It could last us until we're better at killing the geeks at least. Or until we find a car or something. We have enough food for a week or so. We didn't have to leave right now, as soon as you thought of it. Setting out aimlessly like this seems kinda dumb, to be honest. And we're both tired and you're really grumpy... This just seems like a bad idea... Kind of like you thought of it and acted on it without planning or making sure it really was the best thing to do," Glenn told him. "We could have at least thought about it longer before deciding to leave."

"You can't defend yourself, Glenn," Sam reminded him. "We've got to find a group to make up for what we can't do for ourselves... before it's too late. I know it's a risk, but there are still good people out there, and we'll find them. It'll be better once you're settled in. It's gonna be some work and it might be scary at first, trusting new people, but you'll be glad when you have stronger, more capable people to watch your back. You're twelve. You should have an adult to watch out for you."

"You're close enough to an adult." Glenn shrugged. "And twelve isn't so young. I can take care of myself pretty much. I was the one running to the store most of the time. I did it over and over again and never got bitten. It was just that one time that was a close call, and it was only because I got careless. We'll just be more careful, and then we don't need anyone else. We made a mistake, and we'll learn from it. I can take care of myself... and when I can't, you can help fill in what I'm missing."

"I know that," Sam frowned. "You're not totally defenseless. I'm not saying that, but having some grownups around can't hurt. Outrunning the geeks works great until it doesn't. When you get surrounded, you're gonna want someone with you who knows how to fight them off."

"We don't know if there even are other survivors, and at this point, finding other people might get us killed," Glenn noted again. "If we come across the wrong people, they're just gonna take all our stuff, because they know they can. That's the world we live in now, Sam."

"Don't be dramatic, Glenn." Sam rolled his eyes. "You can't act like that. You've got to take a chance on people or you're gonna die all alone. People we meet might kill us, yeah... I'm not going to pretend like everyone left in this world is a good person. But if you try to hide in that apartment all by yourself, it's gonna last the rest of your life, and that's not gonna be long."

"I'm not being dramatic... It's true." Glenn crossed his arms over his chest and stopped walking. "You're kind of being a jerk. I thought you and I were doing just fine on our own. We're not perfect, but we're not total failures. I'm good at running to the store and collecting the stuff we need. The more times I go, the better at it I'll get. Then when that store runs out of stuff, I'll be good enough at going on runs that I can find a further away store. We don't need a bunch of big macho soldiers if we just be more careful and keep doing what we know works for us. We're risking everything to maybe find people who will help us. And why should they help us anyway? Remember all those people in the store? The ones who elbowed and shoved us out of their way? Why would those same people take us in now? Those are the ones who are left, Sam. Those are the people we're gonna find out here."

Sam shook his head. "Do you think you can survive all on your own?"

Glenn shrugged. "Probably. But I don't have to. I have you."

"What if something happens to me?" Sam frowned. "What if a bunch of geeks surrounded us right now and you got out and I didn't. What then?"

Glenn swallowed. "That won't happen. We'll watch each other's backs. If there's that many geeks, we'd both die. I wouldn't leave you."

"What if I get bitten, and you don't, and I die, Glenn?" Sam wondered. "It could happen. It could easily happen. It doesn't take much. One wrong step. One second of being caught off-guard..."

Staring at his cousin, Glenn furrowed his brow. Now that Glenn thought about it, ever since they'd reunited in the neighbor man's apartment yesterday evening, Sam had been being weird... He looked like he didn't feel well, acted like he didn't feel well, seemed to be in a big hurry to find someone to take them in... or rather, to take Glenn in. Glenn felt tears filling his eyes when he realized a likely truth that he had totally missed last night.

As he stared up at Sam, he saw that his cousin's eyes were filling with tears too.

"Did he bite you, Sam?" Glenn asked in a small voice.

Sam didn't answer for a moment. He simply stared down into his younger cousin's eyes, bit his lower lip and sniffed back tears.

Glenn reached out and pushed up Sam's sleeves, one after the other, trying to find a bite mark and hoping no such mark existed.

"It's here, Glenn." Sam pulled down his collar and revealed a shallow bite on his shoulder.

Reaching out a shaking hand, Glenn carefully ran his fingertips over the bite. He wasn't even confident he truly was seeing what was clearly there until he felt the jagged bumps of the tooth-mark scabs on his cousin's skin. It wasn't a really horrible bite. It had barely even broken the skin... but it was enough.

Shaking his head, Glenn let out a choked sob. "No, Sam," he whimpered. "It's my fault." He brought his hands up to his face and sobbed as he allowed himself to sink down onto his knees. This wouldn't have happened if Glenn had listened to Sam and had stayed put on the fire escape. Sam got bitten because Glenn did something stupid and his cousin had been forced to get involved in order to save him. Sam was going to die, all because Glenn was too weak and scared to save himself. "I did this to you!" Glenn sobbed as he hunched over and cried into his hands. "I couldn't kill him. I tried, but I didn't try hard enough. I was too scared. It's all my fault..."

"It's not your fault," Sam insisted, putting his hands on Glenn's arms and pulling him gently upward. "Glenn, you have to get up."

He could feel his cousin's hands pulling at his arms, trying to make him stand back up, but Glenn continued sobbing into his hands and made no move to stand. "Isn't there any way to fix it? Do you have to die? The bite's not that deep... Maybe you'll be okay. Do you think that's possible? That you could be okay?" Glenn wondered as he looked up at his cousin. He knew how this kind of thing always ended. There wasn't a way out... But that was just so hard to accept. "Please don't die... Please." He squeezed Sam's hand and sobbed.

"Glenn, we have to go. You've got to stop crying so loud," Sam advised as he looked nervously down the street. "Get up." He pulled Glenn to his feet and practically dragged him through the street.

"I don't want to be alone." Glenn sobbed. "You can't die."

"Shhh..." Sam pulled him close and led him down the street. "I'm not dead yet... We've got to find someplace for you to go, Glenn... but I'm still here right now. You're not alone. I'm gonna be here with you for as long as I can."

Glenn shook his head and continued crying as Sam led him down the street. He wasn't even paying attention to where they were going. He tried to calm himself down, but that was easier said than done. Sam was the only person Glenn had left in this world. As far as Glenn knew, his parents and sisters were dead. Uncle Henry was gone... Now Sam was going to be gone too.

"I don't want to go without you," Glenn whimpered in a small voice.

"Don't worry about that yet." Sam's voice was very calm considering the circumstances.

Glenn wished he was as strong as his cousin, or maybe that he was the one who had been bitten instead. It was easier to be the one dying than the one who had to go on all alone. "I can't survive by myself, Sam. You're right. I can't..."

"You won't be by yourself," Sam assured him as he led his younger cousin into a used book store, closing the door behind them and looking around the small space.

Glenn sniffed back tears as Sam sat him down on a chair near the door. As he calmed himself down, he looked around. "What are we doing here?" he asked in a voice shaking with unshed tears.

"We're gonna take a break... We can talk if you want... We can't be running around in the streets sobbing like that. We'll attract every geek in the city," Sam explained. "We'll take all the time we need in here, okay? I'm not gonna die yet. I still feel mostly okay, so we've got time."

Glenn nodded. He looked down at his lap and sniffed. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "I asked you last night and you said you were fine..."

"I didn't want to believe it," Sam answered as he sunk down and sat on the floor in front of Glenn. "The bite's shallow... I kind of hoped maybe it wasn't deep enough to matter or that it wasn't what it seemed... I don't know... Maybe I thought if I ignored it it would go away."

"Maybe it isn't deep enough. Maybe you'll be okay..." Glenn hoped.

Sam shook his head. "How deep it is doesn't matter. You know that as well as I do."

"Are you sure?" Glenn pouted. He hadn't seen anyone actually die from a bite. He heard about it, but hadn't witnessed it himself. The only deaths he'd seen were people he didn't know dying by being ripped apart enough to bleed to death.

"I'm sure. I feel sick... I can feel it." Sam frowned.

"What does it feel like?" Glenn wondered.

Sam shrugged. "Kind of like I'm getting the flu. I feel kinda stiff and tired and sore. I think I have a fever. It's pretty much just a general feeling like crap sorta thing. Like all I want to do is go to sleep, but I probably couldn't sleep if I tried because I feel so uncomfortable." He paused for a moment, backpedaling when he noticed Glenn's wide eyes and trembling lip. "I'm not gonna die yet though... I feel bad, but not the worst I've ever felt. It's not like I've only got a couple minutes left or anything. I can still walk... I can help you get someplace better... We have time. Probably not more than a day or two. I don't really know how it works, but the bite is shallow... Maybe that'll help. I'll stay with you for now, so don't worry about that."

Glenn stuck out his lower lip and blinked back more tears as he reached up and put his hand against Sam's forehead. It was very warm. "You do have a fever, I think... I'm sorry this happened... Even if you don't blame me, I'm really sorry. This sucks."

"I know," Sam forced a small smile and nodded. "But it could be worse... At least it's a shallow bite. At least I didn't get ripped apart while still alive. I am gonna die, but it won't be too horrible. We can get someplace safe... Get you settled in, and I can die knowing that you're alright. It won't be so bad. If I know you're okay when I die, I'll die happy."

Glenn stared at his cousin. He couldn't believe Sam was accepting this fate so easily... But the older boy had known he was bitten ever since yesterday evening. He probably hadn't slept much, if at all. He had all night to think about the fact that he was doomed. Maybe it was even a relief on some level, knowing he wouldn't have to worry about outrunning monsters ever again. This apocalyptic nightmare was almost over for him.

"How long do you think we have?" Glenn wondered.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know... I can still walk around... I don't feel totally horrible... I think we'll have long enough to get you somewhere safe. From what I've heard, people who get bitten start feeling so bad they can barely even move around by the end, because their whole bodies hurt so bad... It's not like that for me yet."

Glenn felt fresh tears brimming in his eyes. "This isn't fair," he squeaked as he brought his hands up to his face again.

"You'll be okay though," Sam assured him with a gentle hand on his upper arm.

Glenn gasped and Sam flinched as someone began knocking against the bookshop's door.

Sam pulled Glenn up off the chair and moved himself in front of his cousin as both boys stared toward the door.

"Is it a geek?" Glenn wondered in a low whisper. It certainly sounded like a very deliberate knock, but why would someone still living knock on the door like they were visiting someone's house?

Sam shook his head. "I don't think so..."

Whoever it was knocked again, three loud, evenly paced, clear knocks. "Hello?" a man's voice called out.

Glenn held his breath. He didn't know if they should pretend to not be here or speak up. If they wanted to find more survivors, maybe this guy was exactly who they were looking for... Or maybe it was someone who would see that they weren't all that strong and who would take advantage of that fact and steal from them or hurt them.

"We saw you go in there, kiddos. Can we come in?" the voice asked.

Glenn looked up toward Sam. He didn't trust this, and Sam didn't seem to either. He looked worried. "What do we do?" Glenn whispered.

Sam shook his head as he stared silently at the door.

"Alright... we're gonna come in... Don't attack us, okay?" the voice sounded somewhat amused.

Glenn swallowed as the door opened, revealing three rather dirty-looking men. Of course, everyone still living tended to be dirty these days since no one had running water and battling walking, rotting corpses was a common practice. Just the fact that they were filthy didn't mean they weren't perfectly nice people. The way they stared at Glenn and Sam like they'd just struck gold made Glenn somewhat nervous though.

"Hey, guys," the man in the front forced a smile. "You kids all alone?"

Sam stayed in front of his cousin. "Our parents are searching stores down the block," he lied.

"Really?" The stranger didn't sound convinced. "I didn't see 'em. I just saw you two."

Sam shrugged. "Well, they're down the block... So they weren't right there with us... That's why you didn't see them. Do you guys belong to a larger group?"

The guy smiled as he stared at Sam and then looked behind him at Glenn. "You boys don't look well... You look like you're gonna puke." He looked back at Sam and then nodded toward Glenn. "And he's been crying... Is everything alright?"

Sam nodded. Glenn simply continued staring silently at the strangers.

"What do you got in those bags?" one of the men behind the first asked.

"Just canned food and clothes and stuff," Sam answered. "We should probably get going. Our parents are gonna be looking for us."

The first guy shook his head. "I kind of doubt that."

Glenn bit his lower lip and reached his hand up toward Sam's, gripping it carefully. He wondered if there was a back way out of this store... These were the exact kinds of people he had told his cousin he feared they might meet.

"Mind if we have a look in your back packs? See if there's anything you don't really need that we might get more use out of?" the third guy spoke up as he stepped forward.

Sam took a step back, pushing Glenn backward along with him. "You can just have them, but you've got to let us out first..."

"Okay," the third man agreed. "We don't want to keep your parents waiting... Just give us the bags, and you can go."

Sam shrugged out of his bag and tossed it toward the man's feet.

"You too, little guy," the stranger nodded toward Glenn. "Don't throw it at me like your brother just did... That kinda pisses me off."

Glenn glanced over at Sam as he shrugged out of the bag. Sam moved his hand out to take the bag from him and Glenn moved to hand it over.

"No. Little brother can give it to me himself. He's a big boy. Let him do it," the stranger requested and then looked back toward Glenn. "Go ahead. I don't bite. Bring it over."

Glenn felt his lower lip trembling as he looked back toward Sam, whose shoulders slumped. He looked so tired. Cautiously, Glenn stepped forward and toward the strange man. He held the bag out in front of himself with both hands. It was too heavy to hold it out with just one. Even holding it out so far with both arms was making his limbs shake with exhaustion. Canned food was heavy when it filled an entire back pack.

"Closer, kid. Don't be lazy," the stranger laughed.

Glenn took another step forward and gasped and dropped the bag as the man grabbed his arm and pulled him harshly against his body. He spun Glenn around so that he was facing his cousin, but the man's arm was stretched across his chest, holding him firmly in place and he had produced a gun and was pressing it threateningly against Glenn's jaw.

With a small whimper, Glenn squeezed his eyes shut and trembled. "You can have our stuff... You can take all of it. Just let us go... Please..." he spoke in a small, shaking voice.

"Don't hurt him!" Sam begged, but Glenn couldn't see his cousin. He kept his eyes closed as he felt the cold metal of the gun pressed against his jaw and the hard, strong arm across his chest, forcing him to hold still. "Please... I'll do anything... Give you anything you want... Just don't hurt him." Sam sounded so desperate.

"I won't hurt him unless he or you give me a reason to," the man holding onto Glenn assured him.

Glenn opened his eyes and stared at Sam, silently begging his cousin to do something - anything to get them out of this. The man holding onto Glenn was moving his hand slowly and carefully up and down over the boy's arm, almost as though he expected Glenn would feel calmed by it. The gesture wasn't rough, but it was still scary. Glenn would have shoved him away if not for the threatening presence of the gun.

"Where have you two been staying?" the first man asked of Sam as he picked up Glenn's bag and swung it over his shoulder. "You look pretty clean... don't look scuffed up or starved. Where'd you come from?"

"An apartment down the road a bit," Sam answered without hesitation. "We'll tell you exactly where. You can have everything we have there, but you've got to let us go."

"No, you'll show us. And if you're lying, we'll shoot your little brother here in the fucking neck," the group's leader told him.

Glenn swallowed a lump in this throat and fought to keep his composure as the man holding onto him pulled him closer.

"I'm not lying. I'll show you," Sam insisted.

"Good boy," the leader spoke with sarcasm dripping from his voice as he opened the shop's door and led the group back out into the street. "No more lying... Are your parents really around here? If you say they are, and we don't ever find 'em, I'm gonna be mad..."

"They aren't," Sam told him.

The guy holding onto Glenn dragged him along, gripping him in a somewhat painfully firm embrace. "So we've established that y'all are liars," he noted as the first and second guys rushed forward toward a couple stray geeks and effortlessly put them down with knives to their skulls.

"Just about our parents..." Sam's voice shook as he glanced toward Glenn, making eye-contact with the younger boy for a few seconds. "I didn't want to say we were all alone... We didn't know what you guys wanted... We still don't."

"We want what everyone wants, kid," the man with his arm across Glenn's chest answered. "Food, good place to sleep, entertainment..." Glenn shuddered and tried to shrink down as the man rubbed his hand slowly over the boy's chest. It was a gentle touch, but it felt very wrong.

"Well, we don't have that much food, but the beds are comfortable, and we've got books and board games... My dad had some sketch books and stuff like that," Sam told him. "Anything at the apartment, you can just have. We won't fight you for it. We were going to leave it anyway."

The group's leader let out a rather unexpected and loud chuckle. "Board games... That sound good to you guys? We can stay up all night playing Candy Land. Things are finally looking up!"

Glenn shrunk down as the man holding onto him continued moving his hand slowly over his chest. "You gonna stay with us, kid?" Glenn's captor whispered down toward his ear. "We can play Candy Land all night. I'll bet you're really good."

Frowning, Glenn remained still and silent. It seemed like this man was trying to imply something, but Glenn wasn't totally sure what that something was. It was unclear what reference he was trying to make, but Glenn was pretty sure he didn't really want to play board games. He was talking about something else. Glenn was scared to even begin to wonder what...

"Stop," Sam growled when Glenn couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"Stop what?" the guy laughed. "We're all gonna be moving in together. Might as well make friends, right? I can tell you kids aren't good at taking out the dead. You're too clean. Looks like you haven't set a foot outside this whole fuckin' time. It's a miracle you've even lasted this long, but we can help you. We'll keep you alive... Or at least the little one here. You look pretty worse for wear," he said to Sam as he held Glenn close. "You look really pale and sweaty. Look like you're gonna throw up. You been bitten or somethin'?"

Glenn whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut as the man continued moving his hand back and fourth over his chest. He still had a gun pressed against Glenn's jaw. There was nothing Glenn could do...

When Sam didn't answer, the guy putting his hands all over Glenn shrugged. "Well, even if you die, we'll keep baby brother here safe and sound. 'Course, he's gonna have to keep us entertained, but I think he'll be good at it." He moved his hand down to the bottom of Glenn's shirt and lifted it a few inches, letting two of his fingers move slowly over Glenn's now exposed skin. "I can think of more than a few good uses for you, kid," the man breathed into his ear.

Glenn felt himself shaking as he tried to shrink away. He was too scared to move much. The gun was still there, and for now, he just didn't want to die.

"We've been waitin' ages to find somebody like you, kid. Entertainment of that sort is in short supply these days," the guy noted with a low voice as he leaned down close to Glenn's ear and continued moving his fingers gently over the boy's stomach. "You're gonna be busy."

Before Glenn even knew what was happening, he felt something collide with him, taking both him and the man gripping him down to the ground. For a moment, he wondered if a geek had somehow managed to sneak up on them. Maybe this was the end for him...

But as soon as he opened his eyes, he found Sam grabbing onto his hand and pulling him up off the ground. His cousin must have tackled the guy holding him. "Come on!" Sam yelled, pulling Glenn up off the street and tugging him along as he made a run for it down the road.

Glenn did as he was told, running after Sam and not letting go of his hand for even a second. He quickly found that it was he who was pulling Sam along after a few moments. Sam wasn't running as fast as he used to. He seemed completely exhausted.

The two boys were faster than the men who pursued them, but only barely. If Glenn were by himself, he knew he could probably outrun them no problem, but Sam was slowing the two of them down. The bite on his shoulder was no doubt making him feel sicker and sicker. "Come on, Sam. Please!" Glenn begged as he tried to force his cousin to run faster. "Hurry! I know you don't feel well, but we have to go!"

They both flinched as a gunshot echoed through the deserted streets.

"Don't shoot the little one!" a voice from behind them called out.

Glenn whimpered and gripped Sam's hand tighter as he tried to run faster, but was prevented from doing so as Sam stumbled after him at a slower pace.

"Just go, Glenn," Sam panted as he struggled to keep up and attempted to pull his hand out of Glenn's grip. "You're faster than them. You outrun monsters every day. You can make it." He panted a few exhausted breaths before continuing. "You can outrun them, Glenn, but you've gotta go faster than I can right now... I'm gonna die anyway. Just go without me."

"No!" Glenn's voice shook as he squeezed Sam's hand tighter and dragged him along. Maybe his cousin really was doomed to die from the bite on his shoulder, but he didn't have to die all alone out here in the street. Glenn wasn't going to abandon him.

When another gunshot echoed through the streets, both boys cowered down slightly as they continued to run. They were distancing themselves from their aggressors now, but Sam's pace was slowing. If he didn't speed up, they weren't going to maintain their distance and would be caught or shot. Glenn squeezed Sam's hand hard and tried to increase his pace, but the older boy simply couldn't keep up if Glenn tried to run any faster.

"Please just go, Glenn..." Sam exhaled as he continued running next to his younger cousin. "I'm slowing you down. There's no reason we both have to die. Just go. You'll be fast enough on your own."

Glenn shook his head. There was absolutely no way he was leaving his cousin behind. If Sam had to die, there was nothing Glenn could do about that, but he didn't have to die like this. He could die someplace else, in comfort and at peace, with Glenn right there with him, holding his hand and making certain that his cousin knew he was loved and appreciated. Glenn wasn't going to let him die like this, terrified, running for his life. He deserved better.

"Come on, Sam!" Glenn grumbled in frustration as he tried to quicken his pace, but couldn't quite do so with Sam practically tripping over his own feet as he tried to keep up. Glenn could hear Sam panting in exhaustion as he ran behind him. "Please run faster, Sam. You can do it. Just long enough to lose them."

"I can't," Sam exhaled tiredly, but was still clearly doing his best to keep up. He was just too weak. The bite must have made him feel terrible, because ordinarily, Glenn's cousin was so much more energetic. Even Glenn had to put an effort into outrunning him in a normal day... but not now.

Another shot rang out and all at once, Glenn felt his arm jerk back as Sam stumbled and fell, dragging him down along with him when Glenn refused to release his hand.

"Sam!" Glenn scrambled to his hands and knees and grabbed his cousin's hands as he pulled him up slightly off the ground. His cousin wasn't helping pull himself up at all and was quite heavy for Glenn to try to drag up off the ground all on his own. "Sam, get up!" Glenn urged in a frantic voice. "You've got to get up! We have to go! Get up!"

Sam stared at him for a moment before coughing up a small amount of blood. He shook his head weakly, but didn't speak.

With wide eyes, Glenn looked down and finally noticed a large red spot on his cousin's shirt, quickly spreading and becoming larger. "No!" Glenn choked out a sob and pressed his hands over Sam's wound. Blood gushed between Glenn's fingers as Sam grimaced and breathed in shallow breaths. "Please don't die," Glenn sobbed as he pressed his hands more securely over Sam's heavily-bleeding injury. "Sam, please!"

"Leave him, kid." The man who had grabbed him before spoke as he and his friends caught up. He grabbed at Glenn's arms and pulled him up away from Sam, who coughed again and closed his eyes as the ever-growing red spot on his shirt spread further and further.

"No!" Glenn struggled against his captor, desperately attempting to get back to his cousin. The more he fought, the rougher than man grabbing him became, until he finally viciously shoved Glenn down against the asphalt road.

Glenn whimpered as his aggressor climbed on top of him and grabbed onto his wrists, pinning him securely against the ground.

"Sam!" Glenn sobbed as he turned his head to the side and saw his cousin lying unmoving on the road a few feet away. He didn't care about himself right now. He only cared about his cousin. "Let me go! I have to help him!" Glenn cried.

"Shhh..." the guy holding him down advised. "You can't help him, little guy. He's gone... He was gonna go sooner or later anyway." His voice sounded like he was attempting to be comforting, but it was certainly not working. "You know how the dead's bites work, right? He was bitten. He was gonna die. We put him out of his misery. It was an act of mercy, and you'll be safer with us than you were with him."

"No..." Glenn shook his head and tugged uselessly at his trapped arms before focusing back on Sam. He didn't look like he was breathing. He was so still and was looking paler and paler by the second as his blood pooled around him. Glenn couldn't help but to choke out a rather loud, pained sob as he could do absolutely nothing to help his cousin - the only family he had left in this world. He felt himself shaking as he gasped out heartbroken, tearful breaths. Sam had done nothing to deserve this. A life that was already due to be unfairly cut short had been cruelly ripped away even sooner and so much more violently than necessary. The one trustworthy, decent person left in Glenn's world was gone.

"Don't cry," the man holding Glenn down suggested as he offered a forced, insincere pout down toward his captive. "It was inevitable. He was already dying. He doesn't have to suffer now. And neither will you if you cooperate. Be good and do what we say, and we won't hurt you, okay?" He offered as he moved both of Glenn's wrists together and held them down against the road with one hand. He moved his other hand down to the boy's waist and rubbed his fingers lightly over Glenn's t-shirt and further down toward the button of his jeans.

Pulling weakly at his arms, Glenn squirmed under the man's hands, but couldn't prevent him from unclasping the button. "Stop," Glenn whimpered as he did his best to move away. His attacker's legs pinned Glenn's legs down and his arms were still trapped by the man's strong grip. He wasn't entirely sure what this guy's plan was, but he had a pretty good guess, and it terrified him. Glenn was only twelve. He had never even willingly done something like this with someone his own age. He certainly didn't want this adult stranger to force it on him.

"Hold still," the man ordered as he pulled down the zipper on Glenn's pants and exhaled a frustrated breath. "Keep fighting me and I'm gonna break your arm, you little runt... and I'm gonna do all this anyway, whether you make it difficult or not. So just stop fighting me. It'll make it easier on both of us if you just stop fighting."

Glenn sucked in a shaking breath and closed his eyes as he tried to shrink down away from his attacker's hard hands. "Please..." he whimpered in a small voice barely audible through his tears, unsure exactly what he was even asking for. "Please don't hurt me." Glenn's voice shook as tears still flowed freely down his cheeks. He wanted to be let go, but he wasn't counting on it, and could barely give a thought to his own well being knowing that his cousin was dead or dying only a few yards away. At this point, what did it matter what happened to Glenn? He didn't want to be in pain, but he didn't exactly want to go on living all by himself. How would he function without Sam? Where would he go? What would he do?

Glenn supposed his desperate words were begging for any small twinge of mercy more than anything. If this was going to happen, hopefully the guy would at least not be overly violent. Perhaps Glenn was pleading for the man to be careful doing whatever horrible, disgusting things he wanted to do and then to painlessly put Glenn out of his misery too... This man had no reason to let Glenn go. He clearly felt no empathy for other human beings. He wanted to satisfy some sick, twisted urge and wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to do so.

"Tim, we can do that later. We gotta take care of these." One of the other guys called out to the man who was pinning Glenn against the ground, as Glenn heard the familiar sounds of growling and shuffling feet growing near.

Glenn looked up and whimpered as he saw at least ten geeks closing in on them. He didn't know if he hoped that three guys would take care of them or if he hoped that the corpses would just finish him off. He had nowhere to go, and no one to go there with. He was utterly alone, except for these three rough strangers, who were worse than being alone.

"Stay down," Glenn's aggressor ordered as he squeezed the boy's arms threateningly in his hand for a few long, painful seconds. "Don't you run, or I'll shoot you. I mean it," he added with a stern scowl as he moved his other hand down and squeezed Glenn's thigh in what seemed to be some kind of a threat judging by his cold stare. "If you run off, we'll either catch you again, or shoot you to death. You know I have good aim," he added with a slight nod toward Sam's unmoving body. "Either way, it's not gonna be something you'll enjoy. If I gotta tackle you to the ground again, I'm not gonna be gentle. Stay down."

Tim finally go of Glenn, stood, and started working with his friends to take out the geeks. Glenn supposed the man expected him to just stay there and wait for him to return to hurt and or kill him. He was certainly not going to do so...

Inhaling a few frantic, pained breaths, Glenn scrambled to his feet and took one last look at Sam, whose entire shirt was now drenched in blood as he lay unmoving against the asphalt. Glenn sucked in a shaking breath as tears spilled from his eyes. Sam was without a doubt dead. He was gone... Sooner than Glenn could have ever been ready for him to be.

He looked around the scene as the three men worked to take care of the geeks. They weren't using their guns anymore - probably to avoid attracting any more than they already had. Even so, they were fast and efficient dispatching them with quick, seemingly easy knife stabs to their temples. They were good at this... But they weren't good at keeping an eye on him at the same time. No one seemed to be paying attention to what Glenn was up to during this small battle against the undead. He inhaled a shaking breath and took off running down the road.

As he ran, he noticed several geeks making their way down the road toward him, surely drawn in by the gunshots and maybe his loud, uncontrolled sobs. Glenn didn't try to kill them. He ran around them as usual, hoping that if the men came after him, the geeks would pose a bigger problem to them than they did to Glenn.

The longer he ran, the more his lungs and legs ached, and the more he couldn't hold back his tears. Sobs forced their way up his throat as tears streamed down his face and as he continued running as fast as his tired legs would allow. He turned down alleys, ran down streets, not knowing where he was or where he was going. He was too scared to look back to see if he was being followed. All he could think was that he needed to get as far away from everything back there as he could.

xxxxxx


	4. You're Not With Them

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Chapter 4

xxxxxx

Merle exhaled smoke and then tossed his cigarette to the ground. He didn't bother stepping on it. If the city burned down because of it, maybe it would be fun to watch.

Ever since the dead had inherited the earth, Merle was actually living life pretty well. Besides for not being able to find his brother Daryl, everything had been working out fine - far better than usual, really. He could take whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted, and do whatever he wanted. No one was around to stop him or try to arrest him for it. The world finally belonged to people like him. After so many years of everyone on earth screwing Merle over, he was finally in charge now.

Though a part of him itched to go search more for his brother, another part of him rather enjoyed just hanging around and surviving day to day without much of a plan. It wasn't like he was ever going to find Daryl out in the world. He didn't even know if his little brother was still in this state or even if he was alive. Daryl was pretty resourceful, so he was probably fine, but Merle was fairly confident he wasn't ever going to see the younger man again. It wasn't what he preferred, but it was the hand he'd been dealt. They weren't together when the worst of this struck. By the time Merle thought to try to locate him, no lines of communication were available. He didn't even know where to start. Wherever Daryl was, he'd be okay. Merle knew he was capable.

Merle didn't mind being alone, really. It was kind of nice to just worry about himself. If he ever started feeling lonely, he'd just go outside, find some walkers, and crush their skulls in. Seeing the walking corpses reminded him why he generally stayed away from people. The walkers weren't all that different from most people he knew before the apocalypse, gross, greedy, gluttonous idiots stumbling around just looking for their next meal. Only now that they were technically dead already, he could bash all their faces in in a fit of rage and it wasn't technically murder. It was kind of fun.

Once the city had pretty much been cleared of the living, Merle and people like Merle had moved in. There was plenty of stuff left over to last all of them years. Merle didn't have to compete for basic necessities. Though he lived on his own, he did fine that way. The only reason he ever forced himself to interact with other living humans was so he could trade stuff with them. He and three other groups living around the city had developed a system where they met up and swapped supplies. More often than not, Merle just wanted drugs, alcohol, or weapons. He didn't really need anything he didn't already have, so he hoped to stock-pile the fun stuff.

This morning, he was setting out to attempt for the third time to get into a pharmacy that always seemed to be surrounded by the dead. Merle could manage to kill a few walkers pretty easily, but he didn't want to get himself surrounded by more than he could handle. So far, every time he got near that pharmacy, the number of walkers forced him to retreat before he got what he came for. He felt like today might just be the day that he could manage to go in there and stock up on all the best, strongest stuff that he could both enjoy and use to barter with.

He paced down the alley, watching out toward the street. About five minutes before, he'd heard gunfire in the distance and could almost swear he heard people screaming, but it was too far away for him to be sure. That wasn't quite unusual, but he still needed to keep a sharp lookout. Merle was more than capable and usually scared most threats away before they could even think about screwing him over, but he still needed to be careful. If the wrong group came across him, just one man all on his own, they could easily shoot him, and they might if they wanted his stuff... That's why he didn't travel with much though. None of the groups he dealt with knew where he lived. He didn't know where they lived either. They were all very paranoid of each other.

Merle frowned as he heard footfalls nearing the alley that he was about to make his way back out of. He'd only ducked into the closed off space so he could take a smoke break without anyone being able to see him.

He paused and clenched his hand into a fist as he stared out toward the street. Whoever was approaching, they were running, and very fast. It wasn't a walker. The steps were too quick and deliberate. It sounded like just one person too, someone fairly small and quick, and their loud breaths sounded extremely frantic. Probably just a lone survivor running for their life from the dead - likely wouldn't be a problem, but people tended to feel pretty desperate during the end of the world. Even someone small and seemingly harmless might be willing to kill if they were scared enough.

These days people seemed to kill for three different potential reasons: 1. Because they had to in defense of themselves or others. 2. Because they wanted someone else's shit and knew taking it would be easiest if that person was dead. or 3. Because they were scared and chose to shoot first before giving a stranger the chance to do so instead. If Merle needed to, he'd just punch this person out. Maybe he'd even do so if he didn't need to... Just so he could be the one to strike first. You never could be too careful...

He expected the person to just run on by. It seemed they were alone, and they were running fast - probably away from the dead... There'd be no reason to turn into an alley and potentially trap themselves there, so Merle assumed they'd just run on and he'd never have to deal with them. Instead, however, they turned right into the alley without even looking where they were going, and immediately collided with Merle before he even had a chance to swing out his fist.

Whoever it was slammed right into his chest, catching him a bit off guard. He didn't have a chance to punch them, but he did have a chance to reach down and shove the stranger rather roughly away from him.

Merle frowned when he finally got a good look at the person. It was a little Asian kid - probably not even a teenager yet. He was breathing frantic, shaking breaths and had tears streaming down his face as he stumbled back against the pavement with a pathetic little wince after colliding with Merle's chest and subsequently - his hands.

Narrowing his eyes, Merle looked down at the kid, who struggled to stand back up. He seemed exhausted and was tripping over his own feet as he tried to pull himself up while half-crawling backward away from Merle. Each one of the boy's shaking breaths was accompanied by loud, dramatic sobs. Ordinarily Merle would have assumed sobs like that could only belong to someone who'd just lost their entire world, but knowing how scared people were by the dead these days, he assumed this kid was just throwing a bawling fit over nothing. Probably just saw a walker that scared the piss out of him. Merle wasn't one for empathy, and certainly never felt sorry for kids or immigrants, so he didn't really feel much of anything witnessing this strange kid's emotional pain. If anything, it was amusing.

With a small smirk, Merle reached down and grabbed the kid's arm to help pull him back up. It was kind of funny to him to see other people so terrified by the walking corpses that now freely roamed the city. They really weren't such a big deal as long as you were careful. This little kid clearly didn't know how to handle them.

"Let go of me!" the boy immediately screamed in a breathless voice as he slapped Merle's hand away and scrambled back further. His breaths were uneven and frequently interrupted by shaking sobs as he stared up at Merle with wide, frightened eyes and tried to shrink down away from what was meant by Merle to be a kind gesture.

Merle frowned. He was trying to help the kid up. The one time he actually made an effort to be nice to someone, and the little prick was unappreciative... Merle didn't often offer kindness to anyone, so when he did, and it was rejected, it kind of pissed him off. He grabbed out at the boy again, with both hands this time, gripping both of his slim arms more securely and not giving him the option to refuse the help Merle was offering.

The boy continued fighting, but Merle was barely inconvenienced by it. The poor kid was so weak and pathetic. He was lucky he'd run into Merle instead of someone who might want to take advantage of the fact that he was a defenseless kid running around all by himself. "I'm helping you up, you god damned idiot," Merle growled as he pulled the kid to his feet and held him firmly in place. The boy squirming desperately under his hands made what should have been a simple gesture needlessly difficult. "Stop fighting me or I'm gonna fucking hit you," Merle threatened.

With a small whimper, the boy finally held still, but didn't stop shaking or crying as he shrunk down away from Merle.

"The hell's wrong with you?" Merle finally asked as he moved his hands away from the boy's arms and stared down at him. He was sobbing so hard that Merle could barely talk over the noise. "You're probably gonna want to shut the hell up pretty soon before you alert every corpse in Atlanta that you're over here... They're attracted to sound, you know," Merle advised.

It didn't seem Merle's request was even heard, as the boy continued loudly sobbing as he stood still in front of Merle, cowering away and hiding his face in his hands. He looked absolutely tiny - couldn't have been even five feet tall and probably had yet to reach eighty pounds. He didn't seem to have a weapon except for a small knife secured to his belt, and clearly couldn't remain stoic under stress. For a moment, Merle had to wonder how this pathetic child had lasted this long on his own, but then it occurred to him that the boy probably hadn't been on his own until very recently. He was running without having his weapon out and ready, didn't seem to have any supplies, had fresh blood covering his hands and spattered all over one arm and the side of his face, and seemed absolutely devastated. Maybe he wasn't just crying because a walker scared him. Maybe he really had just lost someone close to him. He probably wasn't alone until just now. Someone had probably been taking care of him and had just met their violent end.

Merle almost felt sorry for the kid, but he didn't usually waste much time empathizing with others. This boy wasn't the first person who was all alone in this world, and he certainly wouldn't be the last. "You gotta shut up," Merle urged him again, taking a step forward. He was being too loud. Merle knew what kind of attention any kind of noise attracted these days, and he certainly didn't want to have to deal with that right now. "Listen, kid. I don't care if you die, but I don't want you attracting all them things over here and gettin' me killed along with you. If you don't stop crying, I'm gonna have to make you stop."

The kid shook his head and cowered down as he breathed in shaking breaths and choked out more pathetic sobs. It was clear he was trying to stop crying. He just wasn't very good at controlling his emotions, apparently. "Let me go..." he whimpered in a barely audible whisper. "Please let me go."

Merle frowned and furrowed his brow. "You can go if you want to. No one's preventing you from going..." He gestured out toward the road. "You're the one who ran in here, into my alley, crying and screaming like a little toddler. I never said I wasn't gonna let you go. I'd have preferred for you to not run into me in the first place. If you wanna leave, then leave. Maybe the walkers will follow your loud ass back the way you came from and leave me alone for once."

"You mean..." The boy hesitated as he sniffed back tears and breathed in sharp, shaking breaths as he stared up at Merle. "You're not with them?"

"With fuckin' who?" Merle frowned.

"Them?" The boy sounded very uncertain as he looked nervously behind himself for a half-second.

Merle raised his eyebrows and stared down at the paranoid young kid. "You mean the damn walkers? Jesus Christ... You know I'm alive, right? The dead don't fuckin' talk or help you up when you bumble around like a little moron and trip over your own feet. I ain't no walker. Are you fuckin' crazy or somethin'?" he wondered.

"No," the boy spoke in a trembling voice and glanced behind himself again as he breathed in quick, shaking breaths. He was acting really paranoid. Merle would have taken that as yet more evidence that the kid was insane if not for the walking corpses. It wouldn't be too irrational for him to be paranoid about being followed by a bloodthirsty corpse. It didn't explain why he was asking Merle if he was one of them though.

Merle narrowed his eyes as he observed the boy. He was kind of curious to find out what this kid was up to. Hopefully he was just running from a couple walkers and was overreacting because he was a pussy. He seemed like the sort who'd treat two walkers as as much of a problem as a group of thirty or forty.

As the two of them stood in the alley, Merle watched the kid slowly start to calm down, but he still hadn't taken Merle up on his offer. He still hadn't left. With a trembling lower lip and occasional sniffs, the boy opened his eyes wider and looked around the alley, then back behind himself. "W-was anyone following me?" he asked as he cautiously peaked out from the alley back into the street.

Merle frowned. "Fuck if I know. God damn." He walked over to the edge of the alley too and looked back from the way the boy had come. "I don't see no one but a couple walkers. Is that what you mean? The walkers chase you over here? Just stab 'em in the head. It's not hard. You got a knife. It's nothing to cry over..."

The boy swallowed and looked up at Merle. "I can't... I tried and it didn't work. I'm just not good at it."

Merle shook his head and watched the kid with a raised eyebrow. "You better fuckin' learn to get good at it then. That's not something you can just put off and avoid forever. With the world how it is now? You're gonna need to know how to kill them. You ain't gonna last if you can't even take down a walker. Running and crying like a little girl isn't gonna keep you alive."

The boy frowned and looked down, but nodded as though he agreed. After a few seconds, he looked up and held out his hand. "I'm Glenn," he said in a small voice.

Merle grimaced. He didn't need to know the kid's name. This relationship wasn't going to last more than a couple minutes. The kid would go off one way, Merle would go another, and they'd probably only reunite when Merle saw him as a walker later.

"What's your name?" Glenn asked when Merle made no move to offer it on his own. The boy still held his small hand out, waiting for Merle to play along.

With a loud exhale, Merle grabbed Glenn's hand in a firm grip and shook it. "Merle," he replied. "But it don't matter."

"D-do you come from a larger group?" the boy asked with uncertainty in his voice.

Merle immediately shook his head. No way. No way in hell was he taking in a god damned stray, especially not one as pathetic and useless as this kid. "Nope. It's just me. Me and only me, and it's gonna stay that way."

"Oh," Glenn seemed disappointed as he looked down at the ground. "Do you..." He hesitated. "Do you know of any other groups living around here? Groups maybe that would let me stay with them? Somebody nice?"

Merle narrowed his eyes. It seemed like this kid had just lost whoever he was traveling with and was shopping for a new crew. "Most people ain't gonna want to just let some random kid join them, Glenn. People these days are more worried about themselves than going out of their way for somebody else. Not like they was ever worried about being decent even before this shit storm. It's every man for himself these days, and no one's gonna want to risk their ass to save yours. Sorry. You're gonna have to learn to take care of yourself."

"I don't know how." Glenn looked down again.

"Well... How the hell did you make it this long?" Merle frowned. "You just mooch off other people? Sit in a safe little room somewhere while everyone else takes care of you? You're not a god damned infant."

"No... It wasn't like that. I did supply runs all the time," Glenn told him. "I was the fastest, so I was the best at it. I'm quick and quiet, so I can outrun the dead or sneak into stores and get stuff without them even noticing me. But I can't kill the geeks. I tried. It's too hard. I can outrun them and avoid them, but I hear that's only gonna work out until it doesn't... Then I'll get killed."

Merle smirked. That was a fun way to look at it. "It's only gonna work out until it doesn't..." he repeated. "So you're really good at makin' supply runs, huh?" Merle wondered. Maybe he really could get a use out of this kid. Merle could use a second pair of hands and someone willing to run past crowds of walkers. Worst case scenario, Glenn would get himself killed and Merle would be back to being on his own. Best case would be Glenn making his life a hell of a lot easier with the small added nuisance of existing in Merle's space. Would it be worth it to let the boy live with him? He could try it at least. Kick him out or shoot him if he became a problem.

"I'm pretty good at it... Usually..." Glenn answered.

Merle looked him up and down and considered him. He was really small, which wasn't necessarily a good thing for his sake, but if he was fast and could keep walkers from grabbing him just by being quick, that was an asset. Whoever he was traveling with before wasn't competent enough to keep themselves alive, but somehow this little boy had managed. Whether he had help or not, Glenn was still here. That had to mean he was doing something right. He also wouldn't need to eat much. Merle could use him as a sort of employee and just pay him whatever small amount of food and water he needed. It sounded like a potentially good deal. Unless the kid was a little thief or cut Merle's throat in his sleep, it seemed he might just be more a little more useful than a liability.

Glenn looked more and more nervous the longer Merle looked at him. He shrunk down slightly and gulped as he stared silently back while Merle continued sizing him up.

Now that he thought of it, Merle could use the kid to make his trades with the other groups too. As it were, it was always a bit of a risk to him to meet them in person. They could have always killed him and taken what he brought. If Glenn was making the delivery and they killed him, Merle wouldn't lose much. It was actually a really good idea for the apocalyptic business he ran for him to have an expendable little employee to do the risky parts for him. As long as Merle didn't tell Glenn that doing the trades was potentially dangerous, maybe the kid would feel like he was getting a good bargain - a bit of work in exchange for safety.

"You know, I think I might be able to come up with a use for you after all, Glenn," Merle noted.

The boy stared up at him and frowned as he shook his head slightly and took a cautious step back. All of a sudden he didn't seem to want to join Merle anymore, though Merle couldn't see why. Something in the past thirty seconds of conversation must have scared him, because he proceeded to dart suddenly and without warning out toward the road, but Merle wasn't caught off-guard as much as Glenn had likely hoped. Merle rushed after him, grabbing him firmly and easily wrestling him to the ground.

Glenn let out a frustrated and frightened whimper as Merle effortlessly pinned him against the ground. "You said I could go!" Glenn cried as he struggled under Merle's firm grip. "Please!"

"Shut up, kid," Merle insisted as he slapped a rough hand over the boy's mouth to keep him quiet. "You wanted to come with me. You practically begged me to let you... I know I said no, but I changed my mind. You want someplace to live and someone to keep you safe. That can be me. I'm willing to do that for you. You can stay, but you're gonna have to do something for me in exchange. I ain't never given anyone a free ride and I sure as hell ain't makin' an exception for you."

Glenn shook his head and tears began spilling from his eyes, catching on Merle's fingers which were still crushed over his face. Merle frowned. "You wanted to stay with me... It's what you wanted, you little idiot. What the hell's wrong with you?" Merle asked, but didn't move his hand from Glenn's face. He was being too loud.

The boy attempted to shake his head slightly as some form of answer. His entire body was shaking under Merle's hands. Merle couldn't understand why he'd freaked out so suddenly. Maybe he shouldn't let this kid stay with him... He was acting like a wild animal.

"Don't scream," Merle instructed in a stern voice before slowly moving his hand off Glenn's mouth. "If you don't stop cryin' like a little bitch, I'm gonna have to punch you hard enough to force your loud mouth to fuckin' close. Understand?"

"Please," Glenn gasped in a small, shaking voice as he shrunk down under Merle's hands. "Please let me go... Don't hurt me. I don't want to join your group anymore. I'll just leave like you wanted. Please... Please let me go. Please," he continued begging in a way that sounded rather pathetic and needlessly frantic.

"God damn, kid," Merle frowned down at him. "You're gonna die in five god damned minutes if I send you off on your own. You know that as well as I do. I'm doing you a favor. Just stick with me for the time being. It's what you wanted. You just fuckin' asked me to take you in. I'm giving you your way. I only ask for you to not be totally useless."

"I don't want to," Glenn shook his head as more tears spilled down his cheeks.

"Well, you're going to," Merle told him. Somehow this whole situation had turned from Glenn begging Merle to let him stay to Merle feeling like he had to force him to. Even though Merle didn't even want him before, he was kind of offended now that Glenn didn't want to be there.

Glenn's breaths shook as he tugged uselessly at his wrists which Merle had pinned down in only one of his larger hands. He looked terrified as he stared up into Merle's eyes with wide, fearful eyes of his own.

"Please don't..." Glenn whimpered as he closed his eyes and shrunk down.

"Don't what?" Merle frowned down at him. He was giving the kid exactly what he had wanted. Was not being completely useless really this big of a deal that Glenn couldn't bear the thought of it?

"I don't know..." Glenn's lip trembled as he opened his eyes again and stared up at Merle. "Don't do whatever you're planning on doing to me... I'll do anything... I'll run into some shops and get stuff for you. I'm good at it. I'll do whatever you want. Just not that."

"Not what?" Merle frowned as he loosened his grip slightly. There were a lot of reasons for someone to be fearful of Merle, but this kid seemed to have somehow gotten the wrong idea. "I ain't gonna do no weird gross shit like that, Glenn," he insisted. "Is that what you're thinking? You think I'm some kinda creep kiddie rapist?"

Glenn shrunk down further. "I don't know..." He sniffed. "What do you want then?"

"Well, you just said you're good at supply runs, so you can help me out with that," Merle answered. "And I make trades with other groups. You can help out with that too. I'll keep you alive, give you a place to sleep, food, water... All that shit, but you're gonna kinda be my errand boy. Alright?"

Glenn swallowed and looked uncertain. "Really? And you won't hurt me?"

Merle sighed. "No. I won't fucking hurt you. Why the hell would I? I can give you a place to stay, a certain degree of protection... I just don't want to do it for free. I'm not gonna beat you or do anything sick," he promised, feeling somewhat curious about why Glenn seemed so fearful of that possibility. Must have had one hell of a stranger danger course at school...

"You'll kill any geeks so I don't have to?" Glenn asked, still looking and sounding suspicious and uncertain.

Merle frowned. "You really need to learn to do that yourself. That's probably why whatever group you were with before's dead now. Cause y'all were walker pacifist pussies. You gotta kill 'em, Glenn."

"I can't!" Glenn whimpered. "I've tried..."

"I'll kill 'em for you until we teach you to do it yourself," Merle offered and stood, offering his hand down toward the boy. "So... We got a deal?"

Glenn hesitated for a moment before reaching up and taking Merle's hand. Merle pulled him up to his feet and Glenn nodded. "Yeah..."

xxxxxx


	5. Last One's All Yours

xxxxxx

Chapter 5

xxxxxx

"We're going to this pharmacy I know of," Merle told Glenn as he led him through the streets of Atlanta. "It's usually surrounded by walkers, but sometimes they're kinda thinned out. If you really are good at getting in and out of buildings fast and unnoticed, you might be just what I've been needing to get this done."

Glenn frowned and felt his eyes widen as he stared at Merle's back while the man walked ahead of him. He didn't usually run through giant groups of the undead. When he told Merle he was fast, he didn't mean he was invincible. He was able to avoid the dead so well because if there were too many, he didn't risk it at all. "If there's a bunch of them, I don't think I'll be able to do it," he informed Merle as he shook his head. He didn't want this guy to get the wrong impression and end up disappointed.

"I won't make you go if there's a lot of 'em," Merle told him. "I'll help you thin 'em out if it's a problem. I ain't gonna benefit none from letting you die. And if there's walkers on the way, I'll take 'em out. Have your knife out anyway though, just in case. I'll try not to make you have to kill any, but you need to be ready to at least try. Not knowing how to kill a walker makes you a pretty big liability."

Glenn nodded and pulled his knife out of his belt. He was fairly confident Merle could take care of any of the dead that might come near, but it didn't do any harm to have his knife ready... just in case. He wasn't confident he could successfully kill one of the rotting walking corpses, but trying would be better than not trying if he had no other choice. At least he'd go down fighting.

As they walked along the street, Glenn considered his new companion. A part of him felt very relieved and grateful that he'd found someone who was both alive and not robbing or attacking him. Another part of him still wondered what Merle's ulterior motive might be. The man had been pretty clear that he wasn't taking Glenn in just to be charitable. He'd been upfront in explaining that he wanted Glenn to help him out, but how much help could Glenn really offer this seemingly very capable man?

"Don't ever get too comfortable back there, Glenn," Merle advised as he led the way. "I know I look like I know what I'm doing, but the second you get too cocky is when you're gonna die. So don't count on me to save your ass. I mean, I'll do what I can, but these walkers aren't exactly entirely predictable. Who knows when a couple hundred of 'em might all start following you all at once from different directions? What I'm sayin' is, I'll most likely keep you alive, but if it looks like you might be screwed, you probably are. I ain't gonna work no miracles."

Glenn gulped. Of course he didn't expect that Merle would be a sure bet safety-wise. He already knew that being with this man wasn't going to fix everything wrong with this world. Nobody was ever going to be completely safe ever again - not how they used to be. Merle was right. Any second there could be a massive group of them around a corner. They were in the city after all.

"But as long as things are calm, you can leave the walkers to me," Merle went on. "Putting down a couple walkers here and there ain't nothin' if you know what you're doing."

"We called them geeks," Glenn noted with a nod as they walked.

"What?" Merle turned and looked down at him with a raised eyebrow.

"The dead people. Me and my cousin called them geeks," Glenn explained.

"Really? That's one of the stupider names I've heard yet. Heard people just calling 'em the dead, strays, roamers, walking corpses, rotters... or moaners or groaners but that sounds really dirty." He smirked toward Glenn and laughed. "Heard someone refer to 'em as 'walkers' pretty early on. I thought that was fitting. Don't see no sense in callin' 'em geeks though. Why'd you guys choose to call 'em that?" Merle wondered as he peeked out the alley they'd just walked through and motioned for Glenn to follow him.

"I dunno," Glenn shrugged and trotted up beside Merle. "We didn't know what else to call them. They're people, but they're not people. They're dead, but they're not dead... It's hard to really decide what they even are. But you know, geeks, like in school sometimes kids would call each other that. The ones that dressed bad and were really socially awkward or that no one wanted to be around got called geeks a lot... And people sure don't want to be around these things."

"Mm hmm... I guess," Merle shrugged. "Make sure you keep your knife out. You don't got to kill any of 'em if I'm free to do it, but if somethin' goes wrong, you might have to give it a shot. Remember, I'm not your babysitter. I'll do what I can, but I got other shit goin' on too."

Glenn nodded and gripped his knife in his hand. It was his only possession that the three men from before hadn't taken. If he had remembered that he had it back when Tim had him pinned down on the road, maybe he would have used it then... But he wasn't sure he could bring himself to stab someone, even if they were hurting him. It was hard enough to even stab the geeks, and they were already dead.

"When we get to the pharmacy, if it seems too crowded, I'm gonna send you in while I take out the walkers. Hopefully we can both go in, but we'll see. I gotta get some prescription level shit," Merle told him as he ran up to a corner of a building and peaked around the edge. "Stay back for a second," he instructed, putting his hand on Glenn's chest and pushing him back against the wall. "If you watch where the hell you're going, it might save your life one day," he noted.

Glenn nodded and fought the urge to shove Merle's hand off of him. He liked that the guy seemed to not want to hurt him, but he still wasn't sure if he should trust him. "Are you sick?" he asked Merle.

Merle frowned down at him. "What? Why do you ask that?"

"The medicine you need," Glenn clarified. "Is it something serious?"

Merle smirked and then shrugged. "You could say that, yeah..."

"You're not dying or anything though, right?" Glenn frowned. The last thing he needed was to get attached to another person who was doomed to die on him and leave him all alone again.

Merle shook his head. "No. It's nothing like that."

"Did you live in the city before all this happened?" Glenn wondered. If he was going to be traveling with this guy, he figured they might as well get to know each other. And if everything went well, maybe Glenn could even stay with him long-term. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but there was no harm in chit chat either way.

"No," Merle answered. "I'm not really a city kinda guy. I just came here to loot shit after most everybody fled or died."

Glenn nodded. "I was visiting my cousin. I'm not from here either. I'm from Michigan. My parents let me visit right before the worst of this hit and I couldn't get back home by the time I knew I needed to."

Merle raised his eyebrows. "Your parents sent you here all by yourself? From Michigan? While dead people were startin' to get back up and fucking eat people? That's a long god damned way for someone to send their little ten year old kid even on a normal day, but during what's shaping up to be a motherfucking full blown apocalypse? God damn..." He shook his head and chuckled a raspy laugh. "Your parents stupid or somethin'?"

Glenn frowned, but didn't bother correcting Merle about his age. He supposed it didn't really matter, and he cared more about defending his parents. "No... They aren't stupid. They didn't know how serious it was... No one did."

"I guess," Merle shrugged. "I don't think I'd 'a sent my kid across the country during any part of this."

"You have kids?" Glenn felt hope raise in his chest. If this man was a father, that made him more trustworthy in Glenn's mind.

"Hell no," Merle shook his head. "I fuckin' hate kids... No offense. Just, if I did have one, I wouldn't have seen the dead rising out of the morgue and eating people and decide that was a good time to send my kid off on a solo mission, you know?"

"Well, they didn't know." Glenn frowned. Of course Merle didn't have kids. He certainly didn't look like the sort who someone could call dad. Glenn frowned. He wished his parents were with him now. "I hope they're okay..." he said in a small voice.

"Who, your parents?" Merle asked with a raised eyebrow. "Most everyone in the world is dead, kid. They probably are too."

"I'm gonna choose to believe they aren't." Glenn scowled up at him.

"Believe whatever you want." Merle shrugged. "Won't make it true."

"It won't make it not true either. You don't know that they're dead, and there's no harm in hoping they're okay. Don't you have a family that you hope are still out there somewhere?" Glenn frowned.

"Yeah, but my family isn't tiny little Asians that see dead people walking around and think it's no big deal," Merle told him. "My brother's resourceful, like I am. I know for a fact he's not dead. If your family's anything like you, they're probably dead."

"I'm not dead though." Glenn crossed his arms over his chest. "I made it this long. They could have too."

"How did you make it this long?" Merle wondered as he peeked around the corner of the building again.

"My uncle and cousin helped me," Glenn answered with a frown. It was still hard to believe that Sam was gone. Even accepting that Uncle Henry was gone was difficult.

"Come on," Merle said and grabbed Glenn's sleeve as he led him along to the next corner. He let go of the boy long enough to step forward and put down a geek they probably could have just ignored. Glenn would have left it and it would have been fine...

They reached the edge of the next building along Merle's route to the pharmacy and Merle pushed Glenn back against the wall again as he had before. "So your uncle and cousin kept you alive? You didn't do anything for yourself?" Merle wondered.

"No." Glenn frowned. "I mean, they did help keep me alive, but I wasn't totally useless. I did supply runs every week or so for a long time. I think I did four or five before I screwed up."

"You went all by yourself?" Merle raised an eyebrow as he looked down at the boy. "Like literally all alone? And you always made it back unbitten, even when you can't kill walkers?"

Glenn nodded. "I'm really fast."

"So you did supply runs four or five times all by yourself, in the middle of the city, and you still don't know how to kill a fucking walker?" Merle asked again.

Glenn swallowed. "I never had to. There was just one I had to kill, and I tried, but my knife got stuck in its face. My cousin killed it instead."

Merle nodded and looked slowly around the building again. "Looks like there's about six of 'em outside of the pharmacy," he noted. "That's manageable. Much less than what's usually there. No telling what's inside though."

Glenn peaked around the building too. If he were with Sam, he would have gotten Sam to distract these guys before going anywhere near this place. Or maybe they would have just not gone at all. But if Merle needed medicine, they kind of had to do this.

"Can you distract them and I'll go in?" Glenn whispered.

"Distract them?" Merle laughed. "When you know how to kill 'em, you don't need to distract them. Six is pretty much nothing. I'll just kill 'em. You watch how I do it. Maybe I'll let you take out the last one. You need the practice."

Glenn's eyes widened and he shook his head. "I don't-" he hesitated.

"You can do it. It's easy. I'll take out the first five," Merle said and then ran over toward the pharmacy, effortlessly sticking his knife through the side of one geek's skull, letting it fall to the ground and then doing the same with a second one.

Glenn grimaced and backed himself up against the side of the building he was waiting by. He didn't want to do this. He wasn't as strong as Merle. His aim with his knife wasn't so precise. The last time he'd attempted this, he'd nearly gotten himself killed, and he had gotten his cousin killed.

Merle made a strange laughing sound as he ran up to the third one and stabbed it. He almost seemed to enjoy this. As he dispatched the fourth, he looked over toward Glenn with a huge smile on his face before turning back to the fifth geek and putting down.

"Last one's all yours," Merle called out as he jogged toward Glenn. The zombie had noticed Merle and was following him now, with slow, shuffling feet and it's bloody mouth hanging hungrily open.

Glenn shook his head and cowered down as he squeezed the handle of his knife tightly in his fist. "I can't!" he whimpered as the geek dragged itself closer and closer. Glenn wondered if he should just abandon the hope of traveling with Merle and make a run for it. Being in Merle's company did him no good if the guy was just going to force him into hand-to-hand combat with the dead. "Please kill it," Glenn begged.

"You can do it," Merle insisted as he grabbed Glenn's hand and dragged him toward the dead woman who stared back at him with pale, milky eyes and some kind of brownish fluid oozing lazily down her chin. "I even saved you the smallest one. It'll be effortless."

"No!" Glenn whimpered and tried to pull his hand out of Merle's grip.

"Come on. You're doing this," Merle growled as he forced Glenn forward and squeezed his large hand around Glenn's. "It's the easiest thing ever once you stop making it out to be somethin' it's not. So fucking easy. Don't be a pussy."

Glenn felt sobs rising in his throat as Merle dragged him closer to the geek who looked hungrily back at him. "I can't!" Glenn screamed. That fact became especially true with Merle holding his hand down. Even if Glenn were an expert at this, he couldn't do anything with Merle controlling his arm. "Let me go! I can't! Merle, please!" Glenn begged.

"It's just like this, kid," Merle told him as he squeezed Glenn's hand tighter and grabbed his other hand too. Merle forced his left hand up against the geek's neck, holding her in place while he dragged Glenn's right hand with the knife up toward her temple, quickly and effortlessly stabbing the weapon into her skull.

The geek crumpled to the ground as Glenn tried to shrink away, but Merle still held onto him. "Let me go!" Glenn screamed a lot louder than he intended. He didn't appreciate Merle's little impromptu lesson at all. It hadn't been helpful. Glenn hadn't even killed the thing himself. Merle just did it while holding onto Glenn and needlessly putting him in danger too. "Get off of me!" Glenn demanded.

"Shhh," Merle clamped his hand over Glenn's mouth, but kept a hold of his knife-hand, probably worried that Glenn might stab him. It wasn't too far fetched to worry about that either. Glenn was pissed. "You did it, kid. You killed your first walker. Wasn't hard at all, hm?"

Glenn shook his head and tried to squirm out of Merle's grip, but the man held onto him firmly.

"I know you're mad," Merle laughed. "But you gotta learn this shit." He finally loosened his grip and let Glenn go.

Glenn spun himself around and stared up at Merle. "You could have gotten me killed! I told you I wasn't ready!"

"They ain't gonna wait for you to be ready, kid," Merle shrugged. "Next time you're gonna need to do it without my help. You gotta learn. Stop bitching about it or I'm gonna smack you." He turned and walked toward the pharmacy. "You coming?"

Glenn frowned, but followed Merle. He was better than nothing, if only just barely.

Merle stepped through a broken window on the front of the store and looked around. "Looks like there's no more in here, so we're all good. I'm goin' to the back. Get whatever you want."

Glenn looked around. He could barely bring himself to want anything. He was still a bit rattled by Merle's idea of geek-killing practice. Even as he began to calm down, he couldn't forget that his cousin was still gone. Even if things worked out with Merle, Glenn was never going to see Sam again. It wasn't fair that he got to go on living when Sam didn't.

Now that Glenn was in a relatively safe place for the first time in a while, the reality of what his life had become was weighing on him pretty heavily. He had no one left in the world. His parents and sisters were either dead or at best so far away that Glenn had no hope of ever reuniting with them. Uncle Henry and Sam were gone... Sam was definitely dead and Henry almost surely was too. So many people who Glenn depended upon but never fully appreciated were gone forever now. He wished he had his parents right now - most specifically his father, who always made Glenn feel safe.

Glenn paced down one of the aisles, looking at bottles of shampoo and conditioner as he remembered the last time he'd seen his dad. It was at the airport before he left to come here to Atlanta. His dad had wanted to go through the gate with him, and the airport staff even said he could, since Glenn was a minor... But Glenn was too proud and was feeling very grown up and independent. He told his dad he didn't need him to come and that he could make his way to his flight on his own.

The last time he'd ever spoken to his dad in person, Glenn had assured the man that the didn't need him... and at the time, he genuinely felt he didn't need the man anymore. Glenn thought he was all grown up and could take care of himself... He had been so wrong. Now, he would have given anything to be with his dad again, to sit with him on the couch, let the man put his arm around Glenn's shoulders and hug him like he used to when Glenn was younger.

"Oh yeah," Merle called out, shaking Glenn out of his thoughts. "If there's any tampons or baby diapers, get those too."

Glenn frowned. "I thought you were by yourself."

"I am, but I trade with other groups. One of 'em has women and a baby. That shit's in high demand. You can get a lot a good shit if you offer 'em up tampons," Merle told him.

Glenn nodded. He wondered if he could join that group. If they kept a baby, they surely wouldn't mind taking Glenn in. Maybe when he and Merle met up with them later, Glenn could ask them if they'd take him back with them. It had to be better than Merle... Surely a group that was willing to take care of a baby wouldn't force him to kill geeks, threaten to hit him, or swear at him.

Grabbing a discarded shopping basket off the floor, Glenn headed toward the aisle he figured tampons might be on. He'd never had to buy them before, but he'd been to this section of the store with his sisters and mom. Once he got there, he found there were a lot of different options. He still didn't know the difference, so he got several different kinds and then headed toward the diapers. There were lots of different kinds of those too, but the packages were quite large. He couldn't get every different size just in case. "Do you know what size, Merle?" Glenn called out.

"What size of what, tampons?" Merle laughed. "Probably better get huge ones. Biggest ones you can find. That lady's a huge cunt, so it'd figure she'd have a giant cunt too."

Glenn stared back at him and frowned. "Um... No... What size of diapers?"

Merle shrugged. "Not my kid. I don't know. They'll take what I give 'em."

Glenn looked back at the shelf and got a package that was marked with a number in the middle. Hopefully it would work. Then he headed over to the candy aisle.

A lot of the chocolate was already gone, but Glenn found two packages of M&Ms pushed to the back of one of the shelves. He picked them up and looked down at them in his hands. Back when he and Sam were younger, before Sam moved away, back in Michigan, they lived just a few blocks from each other. The reason Glenn had become such good friends with his cousin was because all of his own siblings were girls and he related better to Sam. When they lived so close together, sometimes their parents would let them walk down the couple blocks separating their houses and visit each other.

There was a convenience store between their houses and whichever one was visiting the other would buy candy for them to share if their parents agreed to give them money for it. Whenever they bought M&Ms, they'd make a sort of game out of taking turns choosing which colors they wanted. One of them would choose first, then the other, and so on, taking every single one of their chosen color. Sam always claimed he'd let Glenn choose first the last time, and Glenn always remembered differently and felt like Sam was cheating. What was a meaningless little game would often spiral into a full-on verbal fight over who got the blue ones, even though they all tasted the same.

Glenn exhaled. Those fights were so stupid... but he wished he could have the chance to argue over M&Ms with Sam again. Glenn would give anything for his biggest problem to be not getting the color of chocolate he wanted.

He threw the candy into the shopping basket and glanced out toward the street. There weren't any geeks that he saw. That was good. He glanced back toward Merle, who was back behind the pharmacy counter looking through all the medicines back there. Glenn wondered what was wrong with him. He didn't seem sick.

Next, Glenn headed over to the toothpaste aisle. Merle didn't look like he cared much about hygiene, but Glenn did. He picked up a box of toothpaste and a package of toothbrushes. He could give one to Merle if the man wanted it, but something told him Merle wouldn't be interested.

Glenn looked up as Merle walked out from behind the counter with a shopping basket completely full with various medicines. Glenn was beginning to wonder if this pharmacy trip was even necessary. Maybe Merle had just taken extra to trade with the people he talked about before. That sure would be selfish though, to take all those pills he didn't even need only to barter with them. Someone who legitimately needed them might come in here, feeling desperate and not be able to find them, all because Merle wanted to take them all when he didn't even have to. "Surely you don't need all of that," Glenn noted with a frown.

"What are you, my fuckin' parole officer?" Merle laughed. "Come on. We're takin' this home before meeting up with these people. Goin' up there with this much shit would get us shot for sure."

Glenn gulped. "Are these groups you trade with dangerous?" he wondered. "Maybe it would be smarter to just get the stuff you need and not risk it. What do they have that's worth risking your life for it?"

Merle smirked down at him. "It's fine, Glenn. Anybody out there would kill anybody else out there for the right shit. But we won't have all the right shit, so they won't kill us. We're more valuable as a steady source of shit they want then a one-time deal. That's why we're takin' most of this shit home. I don't normally meet with them until later afternoon anyway. We got lots of time."

Glenn swallowed. "You wouldn't kill anybody though, would you?"

Merle shrugged. "I dunno. If someone had the right shit and wouldn't give it to me, maybe I'd kill 'em for it. You can't ever tell until you're in the moment. It would have to be something I really needed... I mean, I don't kill people just for fun."

"H-have you killed people, Merle?" Glenn wondered. "Like living people?"

"Doesn't matter. I won't kill you, so you don't got to worry about it," Merle answered with a raspy chuckle.

"Okay," Glenn frowned and followed Merle back out into the street. "Where do you live?"

"I'll show you," Merle told him.

xxxxxx


	6. Merle's House

xxxxxx

Chapter 6

xxxxxx

Merle could hear Glenn intake a sharp breath behind him as he led the kid in through the door to the building where he had been staying. He'd chosen the best place he could find, but the kid didn't seem to appreciate the practicality or humor in it.

"Isn't this where they have funerals?" Glenn cowered down and looked around the room like he expected the building itself to attack him.

"Not anymore," Merle told him with a smirk.

"This is really creepy... Why would you choose to live here?" Glenn frowned.

"Just think about it, Glenn," Merle explained. "People come into the city and loot everyplace they can think of. If it looks like someone's been living someplace, they'll want to check it out and see what kinda shit they can steal. If it's a place that sold anything at all - people will come looking. Any kinda house, apartment, or hotel... People'll flock to it. Ain't nobody gonna want to come looking for supplies in here. No one in their right damn mind would be trying to survive in an apocalypse of rising, cannibalistic corpses and choose to live in a fuckin' mortuary."

Glenn stared at him for a few long seconds before smiling slightly and laughing what seemed to be a genuine laugh. It was the first time since he'd met the kid that he actually expressed an emotion that resembled joy.

For some reason, Merle felt something that he could only describe as a sense of accomplishment. He hadn't realized he even cared about making Glenn happy, but seeing him smile made Merle smile too. Maybe it was just because the kid had seemed so grumpy, scared, and even angry all morning and Merle had successfully changed that, if even just for this one small moment.

"There's not still any dead bodies in here, are there?" Glenn's smile fell pretty fast as he looked around the space again.

Merle shook his head. "Nah. They all got up and left a long time ago." That joke didn't work on Glenn, who still stared around the room like he'd never been in a funeral home before. Maybe he hadn't ever been to one. He was still so young. Maybe this whole apocalypse was his first experience dealing with death. Sure would be a blunt and skewed introduction to the subject.

"So... Where do you sleep?" Glenn grimaced. "Not in a casket, right?"

Merle laughed. "No. There's a couple couches. Come here. I'll show you." He led Glenn through the hall and into a room that used to be where the viewing portion of funerals took place. There was no casket there at the moment, as there hadn't been a funeral in-progress when the building was abandoned. Near the front of the room sat two couches surrounded on either side by chairs and with more rows of chairs behind them.

Glenn put his finger tips on one of the couches. "Would these have been for the people closest to the dead person?" he wondered.

"Yep." Merle nodded. "Haven't you ever been to a funeral before?"

Glenn shrugged. "Not since I was really little. It was my great grandpa's funeral, and I didn't really know him that well. It was a long time ago. I don't really remember the chairs."

Merle nodded and glanced down at the pharmacy basket Glenn was still carrying. "So, what'd you get?" he asked.

Glenn looked over at him with a frown before realizing Merle was referring to the basket. He glanced down and then swung the basket up onto one of the couches and began digging through it. "Lots of tampons," he answered with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

Merle laughed. "They're as good as gold."

"Do you like M&Ms, Merle?" Glenn wondered as he picked up one of two packages and offered them up.

Merle shrugged. "They're alright."

"And I got you a toothbrush. I didn't know if you had one yet," Glenn handed him that as well.

"Well, you really covered all the bases, didn't you, kid?" Merle smirked. "Somethin' to rot my teeth and then something else to fix 'em."

"Did you get the medicine you needed?" Glenn asked him.

Merle nodded.

"How long until we go meet up with that group to trade them stuff?" Glenn wondered.

"Maybe three or four more hours. You can just relax until then. It's safe here," Merle told him.

Glenn looked down at his hands, which had dried blood caked onto them. He turned over one of his arms and frowned at the blood spattered there as well.

"I've got some water and paper towels you can clean yourself up with," Merle told him and led him toward a small kitchen area. where he had most of his stuff stashed.

"Wow," Glenn commented as he looked around the room, obviously impressed by Merle's many, many gallon jugs of water and stacks of boxes of canned and other packaged food.

Merle grabbed a handful of paper towels and poured some water from a half-full jug onto them over the sink. "Here ya go." He offered them to Glenn, who began scrubbing the spots of blood off of his skin with them.

"My cousin-" Glenn started in a shaking voice, but stopped himself when his voice seemed to have caught in his throat. His lower lip trembled and his hands shook as he continued cleaning the dried blood off of himself.

"You don't got to tell me what happened," Merle told him. He really didn't think he wanted to know - both because damn near everyone left on the planet had a similar traumatizing story, and because he didn't want to get attached to this kid. He was already finding himself caring more than he'd intended to. The less he knew about the boy's situation, the better.

"Were you always alone in here?" Glenn changed the subject away from himself. "There was never anybody else with you? You didn't lose anyone?"

"Not anybody I gave a fuck about," Merle told him. "My days of traveling with other people didn't last long. Everybody's too damn dumb. They all got themselves killed pretty quick, but I didn't like 'em anyway." He shrugged.

Glenn gulped, frowned, and looked down at his hands, but didn't say anything. He was probably wondering if Merle gave a damn about him. The answer to that, Merle thought, was hell no... He certainly hoped he wasn't starting to care about this kid.

Merle looked away from the boy and sifted through some of his supplies. "You want anything to eat?" Merle asked, grabbing up a pre-wrapped packet of crackers and cheese and a bag of beef jerky. He decided to take an entire gallon jug of water with him too.

Glenn shook his head. "Could I just have some water?" he asked in a small voice.

"Go for it." Merle nodded toward the jugs. He must have had thirty or forty by now and even a couple five gallon ones he'd found at an office building down the road.

Glenn took a gallon of his own and followed Merle back to the main room. Merle sat on one couch and watched Glenn sit down on the other. The boy carefully took off his shoes and brought his feet up onto the cushion before taking a long drink from the water jug and setting it down on the other cushion.

Merle chewed on a piece of jerky as he continued observing the kid. Glenn was very quiet and seemed to be trying his best to stay out of the way and not be annoying. Merle appreciated that.

Glenn slowly tore the top off of his little M&Ms packet and carefully poured its contents onto the cushion he wasn't sitting on. Merle frowned as he watched the kid sift through all of the M&Ms and take out all of the blue ones, put them back into the packet, and then fold the top closed before popping a different color into his mouth.

"You ain't like some kinda autistic or somethin' are you?" Merle wondered.

Glenn looked up with raised eyebrows, seemingly confused by Merle's question. "What?" He frowned.

Merle exhaled. "I mean, are you normal or do you got any weird mental shit goin' on? Bein' around a normal kid's annoying enough."

"Um... I think I'm normal," Glenn shrugged.

Merle narrowed his eyes. Maybe Glenn was just saving the blue ones for later. Kids were weird and stupid. He continued silently watching Glenn as the two of them finished eating. M&Ms and water was a pretty piss-poor excuse for a meal, but at least that meant Glenn wouldn't judge Merle's own lunch of beef jerky and crackers.

The boy stared ahead up at where a casket would have been propped up if there had been a funeral here today. He seemed to be deep in thought.

How desperate must Glenn have been to ask a complete stranger to let him join him? Especially one who looked like Merle... It was very apparent that the last member of Glenn's group besides himself had somehow been killed very recently. It seemed like the blood spattered all over Glenn's hands and arm was that of the cousin he kept talking about. Merle wondered how it happened. All sorts of violent, traumatizing shit happened in the world these days. The sooner Glenn learned that, the better. Maybe this experience would better prepare him to survive longer... but only if Merle didn't baby him. The kid would have to learn sooner or later to take care of himself. It was for his own good, and for Merle's. He didn't know yet if he wanted this kid with him long-term, but if he did choose to keep him around, he was gonna have to not be as useless.

Merle felt his shoulders slump as he heard a sniffling sound coming from Glenn's direction. The last thing he needed was for this kid to start crying again. The boy was curled in on himself on the cushion, was now facing somewhat away from Merle, and his shoulders were softly shaking as he seemed to be trying his best to hold back his tears.

"No amount of cryin's gonna bring him back, kid," Merle reminded him. "Shit happens. You're just gonna have to move on."

Glenn sniffed again and turned even further away, all but ignoring Merle.

Merle exhaled as he watched the boy. He really didn't want to deal with this kind of thing. Merle was absolutely not into comforting people, especially not children. He wondered if he could get the kid to talk about something else to get his mind off whatever trauma he was clearly presently absorbed with.

"You ever go hunting?" Merle asked. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to have anything in common with this kid.

"No," Glenn sniffed.

"Of course you haven't." Merle sighed. "How old are you, like eight?" He wondered. He was pretty sure he was under-guessing that, but who the hell knew? Merle was by no means an expert on children.

"I'm twelve," Glenn answered, turning toward him and frowning.

Merle nodded and stared at Glenn, who looked back as though waiting for Merle to continue on with his line of questioning. "You, uh..." Merle shrugged, trying to think of something he could possibly talk with this kid about. "Say somethin' to me in Chinese. Somethin' dirty. Call me a cocksucker or somethin," he suggested.

Glenn pouted and stared silently back at him.

"Come on," Merle laughed, trying to lighten Glenn's mood. "I'll bet you know all kinds of Chinese swear words. Call me whatever you want. It'll be funny. You gotta tell me what it means afterward though."

Glenn shook his head. "I don't know Chinese."

"You don't know Chinese? Fuckin' immigrants not even teachin' their kids their own language these days?" Merle shook his head and sighed. "I guess that's good though. That shit always frustrated me... Hearin' people saying shit in different languages, chattering around like they're sharing all these big secrets they didn't want anyone else to understand. I think these Mexicans this one time were talkin' about me. They think us white people won't notice just 'cause they ain't speaking English, but I'm not stupid. I can tell when someone's talking about me."

"They're probably not telling secrets or talking about you, Merle. They just don't know English as well as you do. Like if you went to Mexico with your brother, you and he would talk in English because it's easier," Glenn frowned. "My great grandma didn't know English."

"How the hell did you talk to her then if you don't know Chinese?" Merle frowned.

"I'm not Chinese, Merle. Neither was she," Glenn explained.

Merle narrowed his eyes. "You look Chinese. You look really, really fuckin' Chinese to me."

"Nope." Glenn shook his head. "Korean."

"What's the difference?" Merle frowned.

Glenn furrowed his brow and stared at Merle as though the man were an idiot. "China is one country and Korea is another?" he said as though unsure if the answer would suffice.

Merle shrugged. "Well, you look Chinese to me."

"Well, I'm not though," Glenn persisted. "They're two different places."

"Hey, Glenn... You know what's the difference between a regular Chinese guy and a Chinese walker?" Merle smirked.

Glenn frowned and didn't answer.

"Nothing. They'll both eat fuckin' anything that moves," Merle laughed. "Get it? 'Cause y'all eat dogs and shit?"

"I don't eat dogs." Glenn pouted back at him. "And I'm not Chinese."

"Okay... How about this one," he offered. "How does a walker decide whether to eat a gay guy or a regular guy?"

Glenn shrugged. "He'd just eat whichever one is closest or slowest or something."

"Come on, Glenn... I'm tryin' to make a joke here." Merle frowned. "He'd only eat the queer if he's already got aids."

Glenn groaned and shook his head while Merle laughed at his own joke.

"You know how a walker chooses between eating a man or a woman?" Merle went on.

"Merle, stop," Glenn requested. "These aren't funny. They're offensive."

"Offensive to who? God damn. It's just me and you here," Merle frowned. "I ain't even jokin' about Chinese people anymore... The walker'd eat a man if the walker was queer. Otherwise-"

"Merle!" Glenn interrupted him. "Why are saying this?"

"To lighten the mood," Merle shrugged and leaned back against the couch as he looked over at Glenn sitting on the other one. "I had a good one about light meat and dark meat, but if you don't wanna hear it, it's your loss... What do you want to talk about instead?" he offered.

Glenn looked down at his lap. "I don't know... Tell me about your brother," he suggested.

Merle frowned. "Why?"

"Because you mentioned him before," Glenn shrugged. "I don't want to talk about my family right now... So tell me about yours."

Merle exhaled. He wasn't going to tell Glenn about his whole family. They were fucking awful. He supposed he could give him a brief summary of Daryl though. "He's younger than me... Kinda acts like a pussy sometimes, but I always encouraged him to man up whenever he started acting too sensitive," Merle explained.

"Sensitive isn't so bad," Glenn told him.

Merle shook his head. "I don't like it."

Glenn shrugged and leaned his head against the back of his couch. "I bet it was fun to have a brother. I just had sisters... I mean, I love them and everything... Just, I'd probably have had more in common with a brother. Would have been cool to have somebody to play with instead of either being by myself or being forced to play dolls."

Merle laughed. "Well, Daryl and I didn't play so much as we fucked shit up together. Raised hell, stole all kinds of shit, lit stuff on fire out in the woods just for the hell of it, helped each other make bad decisions... drank a lot, smoked a lot..."

"Like as kids though? You drank and smoked when you were my age?" Glenn wondered, but closed his eyes as though the conversation were relaxing.

"Yeah," Merle shrugged. "You're twelve... yep... I was definitely drinkin' already at that age. I mean, not like tons, but more than your mommy and daddy would'a ever let you have."

"They wouldn't have let me have any at all," Glenn laughed a small laugh.

Merle shrugged. It wasn't like his dad just gave them alcohol all the time. They usually stole it.

"What else? Did you guys ever do anything cool growing up together? You lived outside the city... That's what you said before. What was it like?"

"It was alright," Merle told him. He wasn't about to get into his childhood trauma with this sheltered city kid. "We learned how to hunt and fish and shit when we was still pretty young kids. Probably why I'm better at surviving now than a lot of people are."

Glenn nodded slightly. "Yeah. Probably," he said in a small voice as he yawned.

"Surviving out in the woods isn't so different from what the city has become lately," Merle explained. "If anything, things are easier now, in a way. I can do all the same shit I always did, only not get arrested for it." He looked over toward Glenn, waiting for the kid to look shocked and ask with wide eyes what terrible illegal things Merle had done, but the boy didn't respond. "Glenn?" Merle asked. The kid still remained motionless and silent aside from slow, even, steady breaths. He must have fallen asleep.

Merle shrugged and leaned back against his own couch.

xxxxxx


	7. Trade Group Number One

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Chapter 7

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Glenn yawned as he stood on a roof-top next to Merle. Even though he'd managed to get a couple hours of sleep back at the funeral home, he'd woken up feeling even more exhausted than he had before. But he had a job to do, so he had begrudgingly followed Merle down the various streets of Atlanta, practically dragging his feet just like the geeks did.

Apparently the guy wanted him to make the trade with this group they were supposed to meet. Glenn wasn't sure why Merle didn't want to come too, but he supposed if Merle considered it helpful, it would be the least Glenn could do after the man allowed him to stay at the funeral home with him.

"I usually meet them right there in the post office. Just inside. They could even be in there already for all I know. We try to meet an hour before sunset so we both have time to get back home before dark," Merle explained.

"So what exactly are they supposed to be giving back to me?" Glenn wondered. "And what do I do if they won't give it to me? I don't want to get into a fight with them..."

"They should cooperate," Merle promised. "Should be two bottles of whiskey and a box of shotgun shells. Full box. Full bottles. If they try to fuck you over, tell 'em it's no deal and come back here. They shouldn't try that though... but you never know."

Glenn swallowed. This plan didn't exactly sound fun. He wondered if this was a group he might fit into better than he fit in with Merle though. It wasn't the group with the women and baby. They'd left the tampons and diapers at the funeral home.

"So you just tell 'em Merle sent you. Get the stuff from them, and give them our stuff," Merle explained again, handing Glenn two plastic grocery bags full of various supplies including food, candles, soap, matches, and packages of socks. It seemed like the other group was getting a better deal, but Glenn supposed the value of the items was kind of subjective. If Merle felt alcohol and bullets were more important than this stuff, that was his choice.

"Alright." Glenn yawned.

"I'll keep an eye on you until you get in there. If any walkers show up, I'll shoot 'em from up here," Merle offered.

"Okay." Glenn frowned. He hoped in that event that Merle would have good aim.

"Go on," Merle nodded. "Sooner your back, the sooner we can go home and you can sleep again... since that's all you seem to want to do."

Glenn forced a small smile and shrugged. He hadn't slept much the previous night. Sam had woken him up so early. He really was tired. Probably fighting for his life and running down the streets of Atlanta combined with following Merle around all morning didn't help.

He climbed down the building's stairs and cautiously and quietly darted over to the post office. There were only a few geeks in the distance, and they didn't seem to notice him.

He made it to the post office and quickly opened the door, slipping inside only to be greeted by the sight of a man and a woman, who both held guns and were pointing them right at him.

Glenn gasped and dropped the bags, raising his hands up in defense as he backed up against the door.

"It's just a kid, Kevin," the woman spoke after only a couple seconds, lowering her gun and putting her hand on the man's arm.

The man moved his gun down too, but stared at Glenn with skeptical, narrowed eyes.

"Merle sent me," Glenn breathed and nodded down toward the bags that were still on the floor. "He told me to give you those... Sorry I dropped them..."

"I thought Merle wasn't living with anybody else," the woman frowned.

"He's not... I mean, he wasn't..." Glenn wasn't sure how much he was supposed to keep a secret from this lady. "I'm living with him now..."

"Really?" The lady narrowed her eyes. "Is he forcing you to work for him? Are you alright?"

Glenn hesitated. This woman seemed nicer on the surface than Merle did. Maybe he could convince her to let him join their group. She probably wouldn't force him to kill geeks or make racist jokes about the dead. She seemed concerned about his well-being at least. That alone meant she wasn't heartless.

"We don't have space for anyone else, Carla," the man spoke up in a low whisper Glenn probably wasn't meant to hear. "Just give him the stuff and let's get going before it gets dark. Is everything in here?" he asked in a louder voice as he picked up the bags Glenn had dropped and started going through them.

Glenn frowned. "Yeah... it should be," he answered.

Carla gave him a sympathetic smile and handed him a cardboard box filled with alcohol and bullets. "We put an extra bottle in there because it's not the brand he asked for. Hope that's okay."

Glenn bit his lower lip. "I hope so too..."

"Is he treating you alright?" Carla didn't seem confident that Merle could possibly be being anything but cruel to him. Maybe she knew something about Merle that Glenn didn't.

"Yeah... I guess so," Glenn shrugged. He didn't appreciate Merle forcing him to kill that geek earlier, or sometimes threatening to hit him, but it wasn't so bad. Merle hadn't ever delivered on those threats, and he really did just seem to be trying to teach Glenn to fend for himself. It wasn't the most gentle approach, but he seemed to be trying to do something good.

"He's fine, Carla," Kevin told the woman and then looked back down at Glenn. "Thanks, kid. Same time next week?"

"Uh..." Glenn hesitated. "Probably?" He wasn't really sure how Merle did these trades. They were never fully explained to him. "Whatever Merle usually does, I guess."

"Alright," the man nodded. "See ya."

Carla looked back at him one more time before following Kevin out the door.

Glenn waited a few seconds and then made his way outside too. As he stepped out the post office's door, he looked left and right to make sure no geeks were near and then glanced up toward the roof of the building he had come down from. He couldn't see Merle, but he guessed that Merle could see him.

He made his way back toward the building, but before he could go back inside, Merle had climbed down and met him on the ground. He took the box from Glenn and stuffed each of the bottles into his bag. "Isn't the brand I asked 'em for..." he noted with a small frown.

"But they gave you three to make up for it... Is that okay?" Glenn frowned.

Merle reached over and ruffled Glenn's hair with his hand. "If it wasn't okay, it'd be their problem, not yours. I'll decide if it's okay once I taste this shit." He shook the box of bullets and then stuffed it into his bag as well before throwing the empty box down on the street. "Let's go."

Glenn exhaled as he followed Merle back down the street. "You walk really far to do this stuff," Glenn noted. "Ever think of having them meet you closer? The further you walk, the more likely you're gonna get surrounded by geeks and get eaten. Every time you leave home, it's a risk, and the longer your gone, the bigger the risk."

Merle shook his head. "Can't let 'em get too close to home, Glenn. That's why my home is still mine. 'Cuz no one knows it's there." He jogged ahead a few paces and stabbed his knife through a geek's skull, letting it fall down to the ground.

Glenn swallowed and looked at the corpse. It was strange to just walk casually through the street without even trying to avoid the dead. He wondered why Merle actually seemed to enjoy killing them though. It was creepy... Glenn could understand killing them if it was necessary, but Merle legitimately seemed to purposefully go a little bit out of his way to get some of them, and often smiled or chuckled while he stabbed his knife rather viciously through their skulls.

"You up for another pharmacy run before we head back?" Merle turned and looked over his shoulder at Glenn.

Glenn shrugged. "I guess." He didn't really know where they were. Merle had been running him around the city so much that if he had to find his way back anywhere from here at this point, he knew he'd be incapable.

Merle grinned and nodded before quickening his pace. "This one's gonna be more of a job for you."

Glenn frowned. "Why? Is it not the same place we went before?"

Merle shook his head. "Nope. Different place. I kinda forgot about it until just now because I had written it off as impossible."

Glenn gulped. "Why isn't it still impossible?" he wondered. He didn't like the sound of this - of Merle deciding that something about Glenn made him able to get into a pharmacy that Merle had for some reason decided was too dangerous back before Glenn got here.

"It's totally surrounded by walkers. It's like a hospital pharmacy. In a little satellite clinic - so it's not huge. I know right where the pharmacy is. They set up fences around it back when this shit started - or so I heard. I wasn't in the city back then. Anyway, inside that fence, it's just swarming with 'em," Merle explained. "Because they kept trying to save people, not realizing that most of those people were bitten and doomed to die, get right back up, and kill more people. It's a hell of a god damned mess."

Frowning, Glenn shook his head. "I can't go in there..."

"Yes you can. The pharmacy part has a tiny window up high, on the back of the building away from the fence. You can climb through," Merle told him. "I can't fit through it, but you're tiny. I'll boost you up, you'll go in and get what I need, and climb right on back out. It'll take five minutes."

"I don't know..." Glenn hesitated.

"You can do it, Glenn," Merle told him. "I didn't invite you to stay with me so you could keep bein' a pussy. We're gonna make you useful, starting with this. It's the least you could do to pay me back for not kickin' your ass out right off the bat."

Glenn frowned, but he supposed he did owe Merle something for letting him stay. He just hoped this pharmacy trip wouldn't end up getting him killed...

xxxxxx


	8. Risk It All For Drugs

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Chapter 8

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As Glenn followed Merle down the streets of Atlanta, the sun lowered in the sky. It would be getting dark soon, but instead of going someplace safe, Merle had decided to risk their lives for drugs, again.

The longer Glenn spent with Merle, the more he wondered if he truly would be safer by himself. Merle was good at killing the walkers, but he seemed to put himself into so much unnecessary danger. Merle had so many supplies stocked up in that funeral home. If he wanted, he could just stay there for weeks without ever having to go outside with the dead. But he chose not to. He chose to trade with other groups (who could always decide to turn on him and kill him) and make pharmacy runs for pills he probably didn't even really need for any medical reason.

Maybe, Glenn thought, he would honestly have a better chance at long-term survival if he just got himself back to his apartment and kept doing things how he and Sam had been before. Running very quickly to that one store every week or two and staying hidden for the rest of his life... He had no idea where he was now though. Atlanta was Sam's home-city. Not his. At this point, Glenn couldn't get back to the apartment by himself without getting tremendously lost.

They walked quickly, as Merle seemed to understand that darkness was falling and that they needed to get this done. Even so, he did take the time to put down a couple geeks who stumbled up too close.

They made their way down a few more streets and toward a fenced off area. Glenn could hear the familiar moaning and growling along with the sounds of dragging feet before he ever saw the building. The closer they got to the pharmacy, the more nervous he felt.

When he saw their destination, he couldn't help but to grimace. It seemed Merle wanted him to go into a building that was mostly surrounded by a chain-link fence. Inside that fence were dozens of geeks stumbling around among crowded rows of tents and hospital gurneys. If Glenn had to guess how many dead people were walking around in there, he'd say maybe sixty or more. This was a horrible idea.

Glenn gasped softly as he felt Merle grab his arm and tug him off to the side.

"Shhh," Merle warned. "The fence makes this safer, but it ain't gonna stop 'em if they all start crowding against it. Don't draw any attention to yourself." He dragged Glenn around to the back of the building and shoved him somewhat roughly back against the brick wall.

Looking up and slightly behind himself, Glenn noticed the small window he was meant to climb through. It looked so high up off the ground. "Are you sure we should do this?" Glenn whispered in a low voice.

Merle nodded and started digging through his bag until he found a sharpie marker. Glenn didn't realize he kept so much stuff in that bag. The man reached down and grabbed Glenn's wrist, bringing his arm up and scribbling something down onto his forearm. Once he was done, he took a flashlight out of the bag as well and handed it to Glenn.

"Look around until you find any of those four things. Try to find 'em all, and get as much of 'em as you can. If there ain't any kinda bag or box or basket or anything already in there, just yell out and I'll toss my bag up there and you can fill it up," Merle instructed.

Glenn frowned and looked down at his arm. It was beginning to get dark, and was probably even darker inside that room with only that tiny window. Even in the minimal light from the setting sun, however, Glenn could still see the letters written on his arm. He couldn't make out any of the words though. He'd never heard of this stuff before... Searching for all this was going to be frustrating.

"Come on. Let's get to it. It's gonna get dark soon. We gotta get this done," Merle instructed.

"Maybe if we didn't decide to do this right before it got dark-" Glenn started to complain.

"Don't get all snippy with me," Merle interrupted and reached down to pick Glenn up. "Get up on my shoulders. I'll keep you from falling. You're gonna have to find your own way back out. Surely there's a table or office chair or something you can climb up on."

Glenn held his breath as Merle effortlessly lifted him up off the ground and onto his shoulders. The guy was so strong. It was a good thing he was kind of a friend.

"Is the window unlocked?" Merle asked up to him.

Glenn reached out and pushed against the window. Surprisingly, it wasn't locked. Maybe that was because it was up so high most people never figured anyone wanting to break in would be able to reach it. "It's not locked," Glenn answered, pushing it open. It was pretty small, just like Merle had said. It looked like Glenn might just be able to squeeze through it though, if only barely.

"Maybe shine the light down and make sure there ain't walkers before you head in," Merle suggested. "I won't be able to come in after you if you need help, so... you better not need any help."

Glenn gulped and shined the flashlight down into the room. It was quiet and there was no movement of any kind. It was a small room with an open section over a counter - so patients and doctors could have walked up to get their medicine. Glenn hoped there weren't any geeks in building that might climb over that while he was in there. He'd just have to be really quiet.

Carefully, he climbed through the window and down onto a tall filing cabinet. Fortunately, that cabinet meant he'd have an easy way back up to the window once he got the pills Merle needed.

At this point he was starting to wonder if Merle really needed all of these medicines. He never heard of any sicknesses that required this many different pills or this quantity of each. Merle was either trading them off with his business partners or abusing them. Even so, Glenn needed to be helpful in whatever way Merle asked him to be. If he didn't help the man at all, he was going to end up getting kicked to the curb and would have to fend totally for himself. No matter how much Glenn wanted to think he'd be better off on his own, he knew what Sam had told him was true - he couldn't live in that apartment forever, and needed to be around someone who could take care of the geeks.

Glenn exhaled as he climbed down onto the floor and shined his flashlight around the room. He tip-toed to the counter and shined his light out over it and into the hall. He didn't see anyone, alive or dead walking around out there. He breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed a plastic bag from near the counter, and shined the light along the walls of the pharmacy. There were an awful lot of different pills in here...

The shelves were pretty messy too. Some bottles were knocked over onto their sides. A few were spilled onto the floor. Prescription bottles with names printed on them were mixed in with the rest of the bottles. The people who worked here must have given up on organization once everything turned dire, because Glenn had never seen a more disorganized pharmacy in his entire life.

He shined his light down at his arm, memorizing the first few letters of each word and then shined the light back down at the rows of pill bottles on the shelves.

He thought he spotted one of the ones he was looking for right away, but looked back down at the word on his arm and found that the back half of it didn't match. Glenn frowned and put the bottle back. Medicine names sure were long and often very similar to each other.

Just when he was starting to worry that he wasn't going to be able to find any of the pills and that Merle would be pissed at him, Glenn finally found one of them. It was a fairly large container too. Glenn grinned and picked it up, putting it in the plastic bag and then putting another bottle of the same medicine in after it.

Glenn continued looking at each and every bottle as he moved painstakingly down the shelves. Every now and then, he'd glance back behind himself to make sure nothing was sneaking up at the counter. Fortunately, it seemed the geeks had never made it into the building, or at least not this far into it.

He breathed another sigh of relief when he found another of the words on his arm stretched around the label of a small bottle. This one had someone's name printed on it. He threw it into the bag with the other bottles. He couldn't find any others of the same kind nearby, so Merle was going to have to settle on a smaller quantity of that kind.

"You almost done in there?" Merle called from outside in a low whisper. "You gotta hurry it up."

"I found two of 'em," Glenn called back as quietly as he could while still speaking loud enough to be heard. "Do you want me to come back out?"

Merle exhaled. "No... Keep looking. Just go faster."

Glenn frowned and kept looking at the bottles, one after another. He was beginning to wonder if the third and fourth medicines were even here. Maybe this pharmacy didn't have those kinds.

"Find 'em yet?" Merle called, clearly trying to stay quiet, but also losing patience.

"Are you sure they're even here?" Glenn said back in a low voice. "I'm looking, Merle... Just... I'll keep looking unless you need me to come back..." Glenn swallowed as he wondered if something was going on out there. Maybe the geeks were noticing Merle and making their way over. What if Merle was waiting until the last minute to run for it? Would he leave Glenn behind if he had to?

"Merle?" Glenn called out in a small, nervous voice as he noticed a bottle with one of the medicine names Merle had written down. He exhaled and threw it into the bag before looking up at the window, waiting for Merle's response.

"What?" Merle whispered back. He sounded agitated.

"Don't leave me here, okay?" Glenn picked up another bottle and looked at the label, frowning when it wasn't the one he was looking for.

"I won't. Just keep looking. Stop talking. Focus everything on finding 'em, kid. Hurry up," Merle persisted.

Glenn continued along the shelf, turning bottles to see the words printed on them. He had no idea what this medicine was for. Maybe it was something really uncommon. It was possible he could go through this whole building and never find it.

"Kid, I'm gonna have you look for like thirty more seconds and then you're gonna need to get out here," Merle said in a louder, more urgent voice.

Glenn bit his lower lip and looked more frantically through the various bottles. "Can we just go without it?" he wondered. "I found the other, but there's one left... I can't find it!"

"It's gotta be there. Keep looking. Hurry the fuck up," Merle shouted back. "Twenty more seconds. Find it, Glenn."

Glenn swallowed and looked some more.

"Fifteen seconds," Merle called out.

Glenn's hands were shaking as he turned the bottles. It was clear that Merle wanted them to get out of there quickly, but also cared a great deal about these pills. If Glenn didn't have them when he climbed back through that window, maybe Merle wouldn't let him stay with him anymore...

"Ten seconds. Come on, kid..." Merle sounded a little nervous.

Glenn audibly gasped as he noticed the next bottle on the shelf. It was the exact one he was looking for! He grabbed it up, as well as the one behind it and tossed them into the bag. He quickly climbed up the filing cabinet and poked his head out the window. "I got it!" He breathed out.

"Hand 'em down," Merle ordered, reaching his hand up.

Glenn hesitated. "Don't leave me here, Merle..." he said again.

"I fucking won't," Merle growled. "Give me the pills."

Hopefully Merle meant that. Glenn didn't have much of a choice but to hand the bag over. He held it and the flashlight down. Merle stuffed them both into his bag and then lifted his hands up toward the window again. "Come on. Hurry up."

Glenn frowned as he realized he could barely hear Merle over the sounds of moans and groans. He turned his head to the side and looked down the alleyway. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he saw a very alarming number of the dead heading their way.

"Come on!" Merle said again, reaching up, grabbing onto Glenn's arms, and pulling him rather roughly down from the window. "We gotta get outta here fast. I can't kill that many, and I'm damn sure you can't either."

Merle grabbed Glenn's wrist and pulled him along as he ran out of the alley and out toward the street. Glenn allowed the man to drag him behind him. He had no idea where they were going, so Merle had to lead the way.

"Shit!" Merle hissed as he pulled Glenn back, still holding tightly onto his forearm.

Glenn gasped and shrunk back against Merle as he realized the dead had crowded into a large group out in the street and were coming at them from several directions. They were in the alley behind them, out in the street to the right and to the left... they were everywhere.

With a frightened wince, Glenn turned toward Merle and cowered down against him. He knew Merle was good at killing the geeks, but there was no way he could take out all of these. Even Merle wasn't invincible. It seemed like their luck had run out...

xxxxxx


	9. Ingenuity

xxxxxx

Chapter 9

xxxxxx

The undead groaned and growled as they dragged their feet down the road toward Merle and Glenn. The boy whimpered as he shrunk down against Merle, practically hiding his face in Merle's chest like a little kid. He was a kid though, Merle remembered before letting himself get too annoyed. He put his arm around the boy's shoulders and pulled him closer, if only to keep better track of him. If they were both going to get out of this, Merle was going to make sure the kid didn't make any stupid choice to run off on his own... not that he looked to have any plans to.

Merle looked around at the hungry corpses quickly closing in on them and grimaced. He had to decide what to do, and he needed to decide quick.

He could drag the kid through the crowd of walkers - but they would probably both get bitten or scratched, if not worse. The chances of getting out of this mass of walking corpses without having huge chunks taken out of their bodies were slim.

Or he could send the kid one way and himself another. The boy had claimed to be fast - this could be his chance to prove it. It would split the group of walkers between them and maybe one of them would actually make it out...

Both of those options seemed too reckless even for Merle. He gripped the kid's arm in a tight fist and dragged him along, past a couple walkers who he shoved roughly back as they made their way through the edge of the crowd until they reached the door to a drive-thru restaurant, the closest building around, and unfortunately, their only chance at not dying in the next couple minutes.

Merle pulled Glenn inside and dragged him through the restaurant's lobby as several walkers followed them inside and more stumbled through the broken windows lining the front of the store.

"God damn it," Merle muttered to himself as he looked somewhat frantically around. With all the windows broken out, this place wasn't much of a refuge. The walkers were just spilling in after them. He may have just trapped them here. At least out on the street there were directions they could go... Even if it was probably a long shot, they would have had a chance. Now they were totally cornered.

He pulled the boy further back into the store as more walkers closed in on them. Glenn still had his face buried in Merle's shirt as he whimpered and trembled under the man's hold on him. He wasn't even trying to defend himself. He seemed to have given up... But Merle hadn't.

"Come on, kid," Merle spoke down to him in an urgent whisper before lifting him up and shoving him over the counter leading to the back where the food would have once been prepared. Maybe they could climb out the drive-thru window or something...

Glenn finally started functioning again, climbing shakily over the counter and looking desperately around. He grabbed his knife from his belt and pressed himself back against the wall. The poor kid didn't realize that he wasn't going to be able to fight his way out of this. Even Merle couldn't fight off this many. There was absolutely no way this weak, fearful, inexperienced little kid was going to be able to hold of this many walkers.

Merle followed Glenn over the counter and looked toward the drive-thru window, possibly their only chance left. He dragged Glenn along with him, ignoring the soft gasp from the boy. Merle held onto Glenn's arm tightly as they made their way over to and peered out the broken window, where more walkers waited.

"Son of a bitch," Merle grumbled to himself, glancing back over the counter at the walkers struggling to pull themselves over it. At least they weren't good at climbing things... That gave him and the kid a bit of extra time before they'd be eaten alive...

Merle left the boy by the window and made his way back to the counter. He could at least kill some of them before they killed him. If they were cornered, it was his only choice... He could try to kill them, or just give up. Merle was not one to give up. He could accept that he'd pretty much just gotten himself killed, but that didn't mean he was going to lay down and die before stabbing every one of these fuckers he possibly could.

He let out a small growl as he began stabbing his knife through their skulls one after another.

"Fuck you," Merle hissed at one of them as he thrust his knife through its head with a familiar, yet still sickening cracking sound. "And fuck you," he said to another. "Nasty, dirty damn hippie." He stabbed one with long hair and a terribly dirty and torn tie-dye shirt. He couldn't even tell if it had been male or female.

Merle grimaced as the walkers began crowding up enough to form a sort of ramp for each other to climb over. It wouldn't be long now before they made it over the counter, and more were coming, drawn in by the growling sounds of the others.

"God damn fuckin' city motherfuckers!" Merle growled, stabbing three of them in rapid succession. He always hated city people, and this only proved that they were nothing but shit even in death.

"Merle!" Glenn's small, yet urgent voice called from somewhere behind him.

Merle shook his head and stabbed another walker with hair and flesh hanging from its bloody teeth. He didn't have time for whatever Glenn was trying to say. Surely the kid was just going to tell Merle what the man already knew - that he was scared and hoped to not die. Merle had nothing useful to offer him. They were fucked.

"Merle!" Glenn yelled out again, more loudly.

"What?!" Merle growled, stabbing another walker and finally stumbling back as one of them a few yards down made it over the counter. Time seemed to move in slow-motion as Merle took in the faces of all the undead. Blood dripped from their mouths, their bloody hands were missing fingernails and sometimes full fingers... One was missing an eye. Another was almost missing an eye - it was hanging out of the socket, dangling there. "God damn it..." Merle grumbled and took a few more steps back as several other walkers made it over the counter.

"Merle, come on!" Glenn's voice was closer now as he grabbed Merle's arm and pulled him desperately backward.

With a sigh, Merle gave in and let Glenn lead him further back. They were so screwed.

It took Merle only a few seconds to realize Glenn wasn't just leading them into a corner. The boy rushed back toward the freezers in the back of the store, pulling the door open and ducking inside the small, dark space.

Merle followed him inside. He supposed this was worth a shot. They let the door fall shut and stood in the pitch darkness. Merle could hear groaning and growling along with many dead hands thudding against the door as the walkers piled up against it. Since the door opened outward, their weight would probably keep it very firmly closed.

Exhaling, Merle felt around in his bag for his flashlight, clicking it on and shining it at Glenn, who was breathing pretty quick breaths as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Merle moved the light out of the kid's eyes and shined it around the inside of the freezer. Fortunately, it was no longer functioning, as the electricity in the city had gone out ages ago. At least they wouldn't freeze to death in here.

"Are you okay?" Glenn breathed out.

Merle shined the light back at him. He looked worried, but squeezed his eyes shut again as the light blinded him. "I'm fuckin' fine," Merle laughed and exhaled. "Nice thinkin' kid. I'll be damned if you didn't just save our lives. Don't know if we're ever gettin' outta here, but it'll do for now at least."

Glenn swallowed. "Are you sure you're okay? You weren't bitten?"

Merle shook his head. "Nope. I'm fine. You good?"

Glenn nodded, but frowned as he stared up at Merle. "I want you to tell me if they bit you. I can handle it. I just want to know."

"They didn't fuckin' bite me. Damn," Merle laughed. "Fuckin' paranoid little shit."

"Okay," Glenn frowned. "I just wanted to make sure. Sometimes people don't wanna say so if they've been bitten, because it's scary..."

"If I get bitten, I'll let you know by blowin' my own fuckin' head off," Merle told him. "I ain't never gonna be one of them things."

"Oh," Glenn grimaced, but didn't seem to have much else to say.

"I ain't gonna get bitten though. Don't worry about that," Merle smirked. "I'm too smart for that shit." He honestly probably would have been bitten if Glenn weren't here with him though. Merle had never thought to hide in the freezers. He never put much thought into how a fast-food joint was set up behind the scenes. For some reason, he never even considered that they had huge walk-in freezers like this.

He shined his light back up at Glenn's face, as the boy stared nervously toward the door and shrunk down slightly each time another hand thudded up against it. "Does it lock from the inside?" the boy wondered.

Merle shrugged. "Don't know why it would..." He walked over and examined the door. "Oh... Well, whatda know... It does," he noted, locking it in place. "How'd you guess that?"

Glenn shrugged. "My older sister worked at a fast food place. She told me the freezer there had an inside lock in case they got robbed, so they could hide in there without the robber being able to get in."

"Really?" Merle glanced over at him. For some reason he had been under the impression that Glenn's family was wealthy. He seemed so sheltered. Merle would have figured his parents were lawyers or something and the kids would all just grow up to inherit the business without ever having to do real work a day in their lives. "Your sister worked in fast food? Never would'a guessed..."

"Well, it was just an after-school thing, so she could buy a car and have some money of her own to do things with her friends, like shopping and movies and stuff." Glenn shrugged. "She didn't work like full time or anything. Our parents thought it was important that we earn money ourselves... I mean, as teenagers. I never had to, because I didn't really have much of anything to buy and I'm not old enough to work. I figured I'd grow up and get a crappy job like that too one day, but I guess I won't. There's no part-time work for teenagers anymore. No jobs. Everyone just runs around the city trying not to die."

"That was smart of your parents," Merle noted. "Makin' you kids work for yourselves. So many entitled, rich little shits get everything handed to 'em and never know what real work is."

"Yeah," Glenn shrugged. "My sister didn't seem to like working, but she liked the money. She bought an old used car and could go around with her friends. She liked that part. She drove me places sometimes too."

Merle nodded. "Bet she had days kinda like this one as far as customers go." He nodded back toward the door. "All those bloodthirsty pigs out there probably ain't too much different than normal patrons of a shit hole like this."

Glenn smirked. "She probably would have said something like that... Maybe with less swearing... But she hated working there. Said the customers acted like animals half the time."

Merle nodded. "Well... At least she got to go home at the end of the night. We sure as hell ain't going to... Better make yourself comfortable. Hopefully we do get to leave eventually..."

Glenn frowned and looked around the small space. "I hope so... It's so dark in here," he noted.

"I might have some candles. I carry a couple things in my bag in case of shit like this. Candles, bottled water, shitty granola bars... The apocalypse is turning me into a damn woman apparently. Like those old fuckin' aunts and grandmas who always got kleenexes and candy and shit in their purses. Always was ready for anything even when nothin' was ever happening. Bet all those old bitches are doing well now though," he laughed. "Guess we can hold off on dying a little longer and see while we wait to die at least," Merle shrugged and dug through his bag until he found his candles and a lighter. He decided to just light them both and hope they weren't stuck in here for too long...

xxxxxx


	10. Fathers

xxxxxx

Chapter 10

xxxxxx

The light from the candles produced a dim glow that filled the entire freezer. Bags of once-frozen french fries, hamburgers, and chicken patties covered the shelves. They had been there for months by now though and were likely covered in mold. Fortunately, the bags they were in were still sealed and the smell they surely reeked of didn't make its way too far out into the air.

"Did anything like this ever happen to you before?" Glenn wondered after a while of silence between the two of them. "I feel like we've been in here forever... Are they gonna leave eventually?"

Merle shrugged. "I got kinda stuck inside a building once, but not in a little closet like this. I had the whole building... It was empty and the walkers were around it. I had the entire thing, so it wasn't as shitty as this... But they did get distracted by something sometime during the night and were mostly gone when I woke up the next day."

"What did you do all night?" Glenn frowned as he sat down against the wall furthest away from the door.

Merle shrugged and glanced back down toward his bag. The three bottles of whiskey were still there. "You ever taste whiskey before? Don't know if this shit's any good, but we could give it a try."

Glenn furrowed his brow. "I don't know if that's a good idea right now."

"When's it ever gonna be a good idea?" Merle laughed as he took a bottle out and walked over toward Glenn. He slid down the wall and sat next to the kid. "Wanna try some?"

"I don't know..." Glenn hesitated. "I've never had alcohol before."

"Now's as good a time as any to try it. You're gonna fuckin' hate it, but then you're gonna love it," Merle chuckled.

Glenn frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it's strong and it tastes like shit, but the more you drink, the more you don't give a damn what it tastes like," Merle unscrewed the lid and took a drink. It wasn't as good as his normal brand, but it would do. He held it out to Glenn. "Go ahead."

The boy hesitated, but finally reached out and took the bottle. He raised it up to his lips and took a small drink. Immediately, he moved the bottle back and coughed. "That's terrible... It actually kind of hurts." He coughed again.

"The more you drink, the better it gets," Merle assured him as he took the bottle back and took another gulp. He handed the bottle back to Glenn, who looked down at it as though the very sight of it made him feel nauseous.

"I don't think I want any more." Glenn frowned.

"Aww, come on. You're gonna let me get shitfaced all by myself?" Merle pouted.

Glenn frowned and took another small sip. "It's really terrible, Merle. I don't know why you'd want to drink this stuff."

"Because it makes you feel good after a while," Merle told him with a shrug as he took another long drink. "Thanks for gettin' that stuff from the pharmacy, by the way. I couldn't 'a done it without you. I've walked by that place so many times... Always figured it was just gonna be off-limits forever."

Glenn nodded. "You're welcome... Sorry I took so long. There was a lot of stuff in there."

Merle smiled and took another long drink from the bottle. He was beginning to feel the familiar warm, cozy, content feeling that alcohol always gave him. "You're not so bad, kid. I appreciate that you ain't totally useless."

"Uh..." Glenn shrugged. "Thanks, I guess..."

Merle laughed and held the bottle back out. "Can't believe you never got drunk before." He shook his head.

"Merle, I'm twelve," Glenn reminded him with a frown as he took another tiny sip and made a disgusted face.

"Bet you never smoked a cigarette before either, have you?" Merle laughed. "Have you ever done anything you wasn't supposed to? Surely you didn't always do exactly what mommy and daddy wanted, right?"

Glenn shrugged. "I usually did."

"Usually?" Merle smirked. "So not always... What'd ya do, kid?"

Glenn let out a small laugh. "Nothing crazy... Just stole some stuff."

"Really?" Merle raised his eyebrows. "Like what?"

Glenn shrugged again. "A couple bikes, from a big chain store..." He looked down as though ashamed. "I left some of my textbooks outside in the rain on accident one day, and I had to pay for them... I didn't want to tell my parents. I knew they'd be mad, so I had to come up with the money myself. I sold the bikes for the money I needed."

Merle let out a loud chuckle. "You stole to pay for textbooks." He shook his head and continued laughing his low, raspy laugh. "Man, that's really wild, kid. You're a real hardcore little son of a bitch, aren't ya?"

Glenn frowned. "I never had a reason to do a bunch of bad stuff, Merle... No one ever offered me cigarettes or alcohol. My parents were nice to me. Things were okay... I didn't have any reason to act out or do crazy things to make things better."

Merle frowned. "What the hell's that mean? You think I was a fucked up kid or somethin'?"

"No." Glenn shook his head and raised his hands in defense. "I mean, I don't know... I just... I'm just saying I never did anything like that... I don't know why I would have..."

Merle narrowed his eyes and took another long drink.

"D-do we have anyone to meet up with tomorrow?" Glenn changed the subject.

Merle shook his head. "Nah." He looked up and considered his mental calendar. "I meet up with the Jews on Tuesday, the farmers on Thursday, and the Mormons on Friday."

"You still know what day it is?" Glenn stared at him.

"Yeah," Merle shrugged. "To an extent... I don't know the day of the month or anything. I don't even know what month it is anymore, really. I kinda got fucked up for a while and met up with the Jews later and they said I was supposed to meet them that day and that I'd missed a couple trades and so I figured it was Tuesday again."

"Are they really Jewish?" Glenn asked. "Or is this you being..."

Merle smirked. "They probably ain't really Jews. It's me bein' a dick. They look all jewey."

Glenn sighed and shook his head.

"I can't be fucked to learn most'a their names, so I just made up group names. Those ones are cheap like Jews, and I don't know..." He shrugged. "They just seem like Jews. You know how it is. The next guys are always dirty and kinda dumb like farmers, and the last group has all them kids. You know, like those Mormons that screw like rats and reproduce like it's a god damned race to see who can pop 'em out the fastest," he explained.

"You're gonna make the wrong person mad one day if you say racist stuff like that to them," Glenn warned him.

"Mormons ain't a race, Glenn." Merle laughed and drank another long gulp.

"Well, it's offensive anyway." Glenn shrugged.

"Shut up, kid," Merle laughed and handed him the bottle back. "Maybe you'll be more fun once you're wasted."

"I don't know about that," Glenn said, but took another small sip anyway.

Merle smirked down at him. It hadn't taken long for Glenn to become more open to the thought of drinking the stuff he claimed tasted awful. "Told you it'd get better and better."

Glenn laughed. "It's still awful... But it does make me feel kinda weird. I guess I can see how this could be fun. It's kinda like after you get off of a roller coaster... like a really big one."

Merle shrugged. "Only 'cause you haven't had enough yet." Glenn describing drinking like that was so naive and innocent. "Have another drink. Take a bigger one than those little sissy girl sips you been taking." He offered the bottle back.

Glenn surprisingly did as Merle asked, making a face again and then laughing. "It's so gross." Glenn started laughing again. "It's hard to focus on anything in here. My hands are starting to feel tingly..." He put his fingertips against his face. "My lips feel numb... I'm not gonna die from this, am I?"

Merle shook his head, smirked, and took another drink. Glenn seemed to be a more talkative drunk than Merle was. "You won't die... Not from drinkin' a little bit of whiskey."

"Merle, what's the craziest thing you did by the time you were my age?" Glenn wondered in a voice that was beginning to slur as he took the bottle from Merle again and took another drink. Merle noticed his drinks were becoming larger than the tiny sips he'd started with. He was going to have to cut the kid off pretty soon.

Shrugging, Merle took another drink. "Stole the neighbor's car and lit it on fire. Their kid was a rich little son of a bitch, bragging all the time like he thought his parents' money made 'im better than us... So I took their perfect little car - one that cost more than my god damned house... Drove it out to an old bridge, and lit it up. No one ever knew it was me."

"Woah..." Glenn stared back at him with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "You didn't get in trouble?" He slurred and reached out toward the bottle in Merle's hand.

Merle moved the bottle back. "I think maybe you had enough," he laughed. "No, I totally got away with it. Their kid, Ralph, he kinda seemed to suspect me, but my dad got real pissed when they came sniffin' around our house for answers. He didn't want me to take the blame for it, but he did seem to think I was guilty too. Defended me until the neighbors finally backed off, but once they left, he kicked the shit outta me for it."

Glenn frowned. "He kicked you?"

Merle shrugged. "It's a figure of speech."

"Oh," Glenn nodded and blinked a long blink as he breathed in and out a few tired breaths. "So what did he do then? Was he really mad?"

"He punched me in the fuckin' gut," Merle told him as he took another gulp from the bottle and reluctantly offered it back to Glenn. The kid wasn't that intoxicated yet. Merle supposed it wouldn't hurt to let him have a couple more drinks. "Slapped me upside the head."

"He did?" Glenn looked rather disturbed by this. "Did you tell a teacher or something?"

Merle narrowed his eyes before laughing a loud laugh that even he hadn't expected of himself. "No. I didn't tell no teacher... I set fire to motherfuckin' car. An expensive as shit one too. I kinda deserved it."

Glenn shook his head and closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall. "I don't think you deserved it. You shouldn't light people's cars on fire, but your parents aren't supposed to hit you. Maybe you should'a had to tell them you were sorry and get some kinda job to pay them back or something," Glenn slurred. "I mean... I know my dad would've been really mad if I lit a car on fire... but I don't think he would've hit me. Probably grounded me forever or something."

Merle shrugged. "Well, he certainly don't hit me no more. Son of a bitch is dead now, so at least there's that."

"I guess," Glenn shrugged, but still had a small pout on his lips.

"Don't feel bad for me, kid. All that shit toughened me up. I'd probably be dead by now otherwise," Merle reminded him. "So what about you? You never done nothin' crazy except steal to pay for fuckin' books... Never punched someone for pissing you off or done somethin' bad to fit in with the cool kids? Was payin' off your big bad text book fine the worst trouble you ever got yourself into? Ever done anything else you consider to be real crazy?"

Glenn frowned. "I guess not... I could do something crazy still though... There's still time." He grabbed up Merle's flashlight, dragged himself up to his feet and shined the light around the shelves. "Dare me to eat something in here?" he wondered.

Merle shook his head. "No... I don't want you throwin' up everywhere."

"Come on, Merle," Glenn frowned and drank another gulp from the bottle before Merle snatched it out of his hand. "I'll eat a whole handful of these fries." He grabbed a bag of fries off the shelf and immediately dropped it with a laugh as he nearly tripped over his own feet.

"Nope," Merle grabbed him and pulled him backward down to the floor. "We ain't eatin' no nasty old french fries and puking everywhere when we're both stuck in this tiny little closet."

"But I want to do something crazy," Glenn frowned.

"You're already doin' it. I sure as hell hadn't spent the night in a fuckin' fast food freezer when I was your age. I never drank with a fifty-some year old damn stranger or stole narcotics from a pharmacy. You've done plenty of crazy shit just today alone."

"Really?" Glenn smiled as he let himself go limp in Merle's arms. He leaned his head back so he could look at Merle who had his arm around his chest to keep him from getting up and doing something stupid.

"Really," Merle answered. "Ain't nothin' crazier than this shit we're living right now."

Glenn smiled and finally seemed to relax as he laid back against Merle's chest and stared up at the ceiling.

"So don't do nothin' stupid in here, okay?" Merle requested.

"Alright," Glenn sighed and remained lying back against Merle.

Merle frowned and kept his arm securely over Glenn's torso. He probably shouldn't have let this kid drink so much. It was kind of funny, but it was also pretty dangerous, especially since Merle himself was becoming a bit intoxicated too. His tolerance was high, but he did still have the ability to get stupid drunk, and he was closer to that than he should have allowed himself to become while pretty much babysitting in the zombie apocalypse.

He stared ahead and watched the faint glow of the candles' flames dancing along one of the freezer's walls. By now the candles were burnt about half-way down. The light wasn't going to last more than tonight, so he certainly hoped the walkers would be gone by the morning. He glanced down at Glenn, who was still and silent as he leaned back against Merle's leg and chest. His breaths were even and he seemed to be asleep.

Staring down at the top of Glenn's head, Merle frowned. Was he being crazy taking this kid in? Merle didn't often have many feelings toward other people that went beyond annoyance or rage. His plan was to completely use this kid without any regard to the boy's safety - not more than hoping he'd live just so Merle could continue to use him anyway... Merle didn't like kids. They were annoying and needy... but when he thought about sending Glenn off on his own to meet with the groups Merle traded with, he actually felt kind of sick. What if some of them really did see a weak little kid instead of Merle and decide to take advantage? It would be easy for someone to see a little twelve year old with supplies they wanted and decide to just kill him... If that happened, would it bother Merle? When he'd made that deal with Glenn this morning, he didn't think it would... but maybe Merle had a bigger heart than he realized...

He shook his head and exhaled. He was probably just getting emotional because he was kind of drunk. He had no reason to care about this kid. He didn't even know him. He was a pawn... Merle could go ahead and enjoy his company while he was here, but he doubted it would last. The pathetic little thing couldn't even kill a walker. No way was he gonna live more than a month.

It would be like the stray cats Merle and Daryl used to find when they were kids. They'd take them in, play with them, start to kind of get attached, and then one day they'd just be gone - either eaten by a coyote or run over or just got snatched up by someone else... He never knew... He just knew that after losing about the sixth or seventh cat, he stopped expecting to have any of them long-term and didn't ever feel bad anymore when they disappeared. Glenn could be the same thing - a funny little companion to keep him company, but a temporary one. Merle knew the boy wouldn't be here forever. He was prepared for it.

"Merle?" Glenn's small voice asked after a couple minutes of silence.

Merle looked down at the kid. "Thought you was asleep," he noted.

Glenn yawned. "Thanks for letting me stay with you."

Merle frowned and nodded. "Mm hm," he mumbled.

"For a couple minutes this morning, I thought I was gonna be alone forever, and that forever wouldn't be very long," Glenn spoke, his words quiet and slightly slurred. "And then I ran into you, and I thought you might kill me... or do something worse." He paused for a long few seconds. "I kind of thought I was gonna die and didn't really know if I would have minded if I did."

Merle shook his head. "You're twelve, Glenn. Don't tell me you're fuckin' suicidal. That's the last damn thing I need right now."

"No," Glenn objected. "I'm not. I don't want to die... I just kind of wondered if it would be easier in that moment. I didn't have anyone anymore, and everyone else left in the world was mean and violent and awful. I thought you were too, but you're not."

Merle swallowed and stared down at the boy, who was looking up at the freezer's wall as he spoke.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for letting me stay with you and for being nice... for the most part." Glenn shrugged. "There's not very many nice people left anymore, so I'm glad I found you. If I can't be with my dad ever again, I can be with you instead. You're a little more rough than he was, but I think you could be a good dad. Maybe because your dad was mean, so you know how to not be. I'm sorry he was mean when you were little, but maybe it did make you stronger, and that's why you're more understanding - because you know how it felt to be a kid with grownups being cruel to you."

Shaking his head, Merle frowned. "I didn't turn out much better than him, kid," he disagreed. While he wanted to be nothing like his father, he couldn't claim that he grew into a gentle, caring person in contrast. Merle was pretty much as violent and vulgar as could be. "I ain't nothin' like your dad either, I'm sure. I take care of myself before anyone, not kids... If I had accidentally created a kid, I'd 'a begged the girl to get a fuckin' abortion as soon as she found out, and if she had it anyway, I'd of run like hell away from her and it. I wouldn't be a good dad."

"I think you could be," Glenn disagreed with another yawn. "Trust me. I had a good dad, and you're not that different from him. He wouldn't have given me alcohol... Probably wouldn't have set up his house in an old funeral home... But he would keep me safe and talk to me and be nice. That's exactly what you've done... You said it yourself - not that many people are gonna take in a random kid. People look after themselves first, but dads don't. They take care of other people."

"Well..." Merle laughed nervously. He didn't really want to get into anything like that. Merle wasn't nice. He wasn't caring or selfless or anything Glenn was describing him as. He was selfish and didn't give a damn about anyone but himself and his brother. He didn't like Glenn talking to him like this, so he promptly turned the conversation around. "I guess we've established you're an emotional drunk."

Glenn shrugged. "I guess," he slurred as he lolled his head to the side and closed his eyes. Hopefully he wouldn't remember that confession in the morning and didn't really feel safe in Merle's presence. The last thing Merle needed was for this kid to see him as a hero. Merle was many things, but a hero was not one of them.

xxxxxx


	11. Familiar Face

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Chapter 11

xxxxxx

Glenn groaned as he put his hand up to his forehead and opened his eyes. He kind of had a headache and couldn't really piece together in his mind where he was or what had happened the previous night.

Wherever he was now, it was pitch black and pretty much silent aside from the soft sounds of his own breaths and those of his new traveling companion, Merle.

He frowned as he blinked into the darkness and started to remember last night. They had locked themselves in a freezer because the geeks had surrounded them and then they had drank a lot of alcohol. They had lit candles so they wouldn't be in the dark, but he couldn't see a single thing now - not even a silhouette. The candles he and Merle had lit must have burnt all the way down. It was probably morning now, not that he could tell since the freezer had no windows.

Glenn furrowed his brow as he realized his head was lying on top of something warm and something sort of heavy was draped across his chest. He turned his head to the side and put his hand blindly against what felt like cloth... He was laying up against Merle's chest, apparently. The cloth he felt was the man's shirt. He moved his other hand down to his own chest. Merle's arm was stretched out over him.

Pulling himself up, Glenn felt around in the darkness for Merle's flashlight. It only took him a few moments to find it. He flipped it on and shined it at Merle, who was on his back, sound asleep, with a bit of drool running down his chin.

Shining the light toward the freezer's door, Glenn listened. He didn't hear the sounds of the geeks out there anymore. He cautiously made his way over to the door and pressed his ear up against it. He thought he may have heard something, but it certainly didn't sound like the dozens of zombies that had been clawing at the door last night.

"Merle," Glenn whispered as he made his way over toward the sleeping man, reached down, and shook him by his shoulder.

"What the hell!?" Merle growled as he reached up with a quick hand and grabbed Glenn's hand and wrist in a pretty hard grip.

Glenn winced and tried to pull his hand back, but Merle held onto it very tightly.

"Oh." Merle exhaled and leaned his head back against the freezer's floor. "Jesus Christ, kid... I forgot where I was... Forgot you was even with me. God damn... Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" Glenn gasped as Merle still held his hand in a crushing grip.

Merle let go and dragged himself up into a sitting position. "I don't know..." He made a groaning sound and put his hand up against his temple. "Son of a bitch. What time is it?"

"I don't know." Glenn shook his head and shrugged. "I don't hear any geeks out there anymore. I think they're gone."

"Good." Merle dragged himself to his feet and carefully made his way toward the door, pushing it open slowly. "God damn," he muttered.

"What?" Glenn shrunk down. He couldn't see whatever Merle had seen. "Are there still a bunch out there? Are we still trapped?"

"No." Merle shook his head. "Look how late it is already. It must be four or five o'clock in the afternoon all fuckin' ready. Jesus Christ... Slept through most'a the god damned day... We must'a been pretty fucked up."

Glenn frowned. He didn't really remember much of last night after his fifth or sixth sip from the bottle. He knew they were up pretty late, but time was something that hardly mattered anymore. He looked down at the floor of the freezer where the bottle was lying. It was almost empty... To be fair though, some was spilled on the floor too. They hadn't consumed the whole thing.

"Well, let's head home, I guess." Merle shrugged as he pushed the door open further. He effortlessly killed a couple geeks who hadn't made it back out of the store. "Good thing we didn't have anything to do today..."

Glenn followed behind Merle as they made their way down the street. As usual, Glenn had no idea where they were. He was lucky Merle had some kind of grasp over the city's layout, because Glenn certainly didn't. He knew his own hometown like the back of his hand. Atlanta was so big though. It was going to take him a while to learn the streets, especially when he hoped to avoid being outside as much as possible.

"Want some aspirin?" Merle wondered as he fished a bottle of pills out of his bag.

"My mom told me not to take aspirin..." Glenn frowned. "She said it wasn't safe for kids."

"Just once." Merle shrugged as he walked. "I'm betting you've got a headache after all that booze."

Glenn laughed and looked down. He could hardly remember the previous night, but felt like he'd talked a lot. He hoped he didn't say anything too stupid or tell Merle too much about missing his family, or what the man who'd killed Sam had tried to do to him. It was kind of embarrassing.

Merle held his hand out with a pill in his palm. "We'll get you some ibuprofen or somethin' the next time we're at the pharmacy if you're scared of aspirin, but I've been takin' this shit since I was your age. Nothing bad ever came of it."

Reluctantly, Glenn accepted the pill. Merle didn't have any water left, but Glenn did have quite the headache, so he forced himself to swallow the pill dry and then continued following Merle down the streets.

"Did you move into the funeral home right away when you came into the city?" Glenn wondered as they walked.

Merle shook his head. "No. I actually met a small group as soon as I came in and I joined 'em for a while. I was gonna steal all their shit once they fell asleep, but they always had people keepin' watch and I couldn't bring myself to kill any of 'em."

Glenn frowned. "Well, that's... good..." He furrowed his brow thinking about Merle seriously considering murdering people for their things. It was good that he hadn't actually done it, but the fact that he seemed to think about it was pretty disturbing. 

"I might as well have though. They all died anyway." Merle shrugged. "We was stayin' at a hotel, but a lot of people from all over the city seemed to want to stay there too. People kept coming and some of 'em didn't know how to share. I mean, I know, I'm one to talk - I was thinkin' of stealin' all their shit too... But I seriously didn't want to kill them for it. Other people didn't feel the same. They started shootin' up the place. I got out before anyone else could and I never looked back."

Glenn stared at him with wide eyes. "I'm sorry that happened..."

"I didn't know 'em, Glenn. I was only with 'em for a couple days, and we never talked or nothin'... They was pretty much dead weight. Don't even remember half of their names. Probably never knew some of their names in the first place. I don't miss 'em at all. So don't feel sorry for my sake," Merle told him.

"Oh... Okay then..." Glenn frowned. He wondered if Merle would be upset if Glenn got killed. He hadn't known Glenn for long either. He probably wouldn't really care, and would quickly forget Glenn's name too if anything were to happen to him.

As they continued onward, Merle jogged ahead and put down a stray geek here and there, while Glenn hung back and frowned as he watched the man do so. A part of Glenn wished he could be helpful and put some of them down too. Another part of him wanted to avoid that kind of thing forever. Even ignoring the fact that getting so close to something that could kill someone with a single bite was terrifying, it was also disturbing to stab what was basically still a human being through the skull. All these geeks were people once. They kind of still were.

"Wanna practice again?" Merle glanced down at him when he noticed Glenn watching him intently. "I can find you a small one... I'll stay close and take it out if anything goes wrong."

Glenn quickly shook his head no.

"Aww, come on, kid." Merle frowned down at him. "You're never gonna want to. Sometimes you gotta make yourself do stuff like this even when you don't wanna. You'll put it off forever if you let yourself, and then it'll end up costing you. You'll be glad you did once you're cornered by one and you know how to deal with it."

Glenn swallowed. He understood what Merle was saying - it would be better to learn how to kill them before he was in a desperate situation... It sure would have been nice to know how to kill a geek back on the fire escape the day before yesterday. Maybe Sam would still be alive if Glenn had learned how to kill the undead sooner. Even so, the thought of purposefully putting himself in a position where he had to stab a human being in the side of the head made his stomach churn. Even if they were already dead, he just really didn't want to do that if it wasn't an absolute necessity.

"How 'bout that one. He's small," Merle nodded toward a zombie shuffling toward them.

Glenn looked up and felt his chest grow cold. As he stared ahead, his mouth dropped open and his throat tightened. He recognized this one... It wasn't just an anonymous geek stumbling toward him. He had familiar dark hair, a t-shirt and jeans Glenn had definitely seen before. He was taller and more muscular than Glenn, but not by much, and his face was familiar, yet not quite right... It was most definitely Sam, the cousin he knew and loved, but a horrible skewed version of him. His shirt was still soaked through with dark crimson that had by now grown crusty, making his cotton shirt stiff and stuck to his skin. He now had someone else's blood dripping down his chin. His eyes were covered by a cloudy film as he stared at Glenn, not recognizing him at all as he stumbled forward, making a small growling sound from his throat as his mouth hung open.

"It's like lookin' in the mirror, huh?" Merle chucked as he grabbed Glenn's wrist and started to tug him toward Sam.

"No!" Glenn screamed and struggled to pull his arm out of Merle's grip as he stared through tears at his cousin. He wanted so desperately to see some recognition in his cousin's face, for the geek-version of Sam to be different from all the others, for him to stop staring with only hunger and indifference in his eyes and instead smile the way he used to, the smile that made his eyes look like happy little half-moons and produced familiar dimples on his cheeks. For some reason Glenn almost expected Sam to start laughing and run up and hug him, to tell him this was all a sick joke or a bad dream... but that wasn't happening. The older boy shuffled forward, making small, subtle biting gestures with his bloody mouth as he drew nearer.

"Come on, Glenn." Merle sounded frustrated and disappointed as he dragged the boy along. "You gotta stop acting like a little pussy. You gotta learn this shit. Just do it. God damn."

"Get off of me!" Glenn screamed, much louder than he would have if he'd been in his right mind. "Let go!" He squeezed his free hand into a fist and punched at Merle's chest. "Let me go! Now!" he demanded. He couldn't do this. Even putting down a regular geek would be traumatizing. He couldn't do this... Not to Sam.

Merle scowled down at him and squeezed his hand tighter, grabbing his other arm too. "Stop fuckin' fighting me," he growled. "If you don't start doing this yourself, you're gonna end up dead. I'm trying to prevent that. Stop screaming, man up, and do what you've gotta do."

Glenn felt tears in his eyes as he tried to pull his arms free. The harder he struggled, the firmer Merle's grip became. "Let go of me!" Glenn screamed even louder as he tried not to look at Sam. He was not going to do this. Merle couldn't make him.

"Stop!" Merle sounded concerned, but also frustrated. "Stop screaming." He shook Glenn for emphasis. "I'll hit you, you little fucker. Don't think that I won't. Just take out your knife, go up to it, and stab it in the motherfuckin' head. It's not hard. You're making it into a big deal when it doesn't have to be."

Merle let go of one of Glenn's arms and reached out toward his belt to get his knife out for him. Once one of Glenn's hands was free and Merle was leaning down closer to him, Glenn took the opportunity to punch him right in the nose with the palm of his hand, exactly how his older sister had shown him after taking a self-defense class last year.

Merle growled in frustration as he dropped Glenn's knife and brought his hand up to his now-bleeding nose. "God damn it," he grumbled before raising his hand and backhanding Glenn across the face.

Glenn whimpered and stumbled back against the pavement, tripping and falling down onto the asphalt. As he scrambled back, he saw Merle going toward the walking corpse that used to be Sam. Glenn bit back a sob and dragged himself to his feet. He couldn't bear to watch this, and didn't want to be anywhere near Merle ever again.

He turned and ran, ducking into the first store he could see. Hopefully Merle was occupied with Sam long enough to not see where he had gone.

Glenn closed the shop's door behind him and exhaled as he put his back against it and squeezed his eyes shut. He inhaled a few shaking breaths and put his hand against his cheek, which stung where Merle had hit him. Glenn could feel sobs rising in this chest, and though he wanted to try to remain quiet so Merle wouldn't find him, he simply couldn't. Hiding his face in his hands, he let the tears come.

For a few agonizing moments, all he could do was sob. This world had become a living nightmare. Not only was everyone left cruel and violent, but everybody had to die twice. It was bad enough that poor Sam had to die in the first place...but to come back as a monster and have to die again was beyond cruel... Was Uncle Henry out there as a geek too? Eating people? Ruining their lives? Even when Henry would have never hurt a fly in life, was he destroying families, cutting lives short as a monster somewhere out in the city? Why had all of this happened? Why, out of every zombie in the city, did Merle and Glenn have to run into Sam? Things were just getting more and more cruel, like the universe was determined to break Glenn's heart and kill his spirit in as many ways as possible.

After a much needed moment of pathetic sobbing, Glenn sniffed back tears and tried to compose himself. He couldn't just cry forever. He had to move on. Sam was gone... still. Glenn already knew his cousin would be a geek after death... For some reason he just hadn't thought about it until literally confronted by it. This was nothing new... This was reality now.

He breathed in a few slow, shaking breaths as he forced his eyes open and looked around the small shop. Dead flowers in various vases and flower pots lined shelves and tables around the store. A wall lined with no-longer-functioning refrigerators with see through glass doors showed off rows of wilted bouquets. It was like a cemetery no one took care of anymore. Nothing but dead flowers all over the place - something that was once beautiful and carefully looked after, now just a rotting, dried up shell of its former existence... just like the rest of the world.

"Get the fuck back out here!" Merle's loud, booming voice ordered, shaking Glenn out of his thoughts as the man pounded against the door.

Glenn shrunk down as he spun around and looked at the doorknob. It required a key to lock it. He wondered if it would be worthwhile to try to hold it closed. Having no other choice, he decided to try it.

"You gotta grow up right now or you're never going to. I'm trying to help you keep yourself alive, you god damned brat!" Merle growled as he effortlessly shoved the door open.

Glenn winced as he stumbled back away from the door. He stared with wide eyes at the man whose shadow seemed to completely crowd out all light that would have otherwise flooded in from the outside.

"Get away from me!" Glenn yelled out, with his heart thudding so hard in his chest that he could feel it in his ears. "Just go!" He didn't need Merle to let him stay with him anymore. Not if it was going to be like this.

"Go, huh? You want me to leave?" Merle growled with raised eyebrows.

Glenn swallowed and stared with wide eyes at the man who was practically shaking with anger as blood dripped from his nose. He had never seen Merle look this mad and wasn't sure how violent he might get before his anger dissipated. The man looked around the store for a moment, spotting a row of empty glass vases on a shelf near the door. Glenn could see something twitch in the man's face before he reached out and dragged his arm across the shelf, knocking all of the vases off with a loud, shattering sound that caused Glenn to flinch and shrink down further. Maybe he shouldn't argue with Merle just yet...

"You've had your fill of actually surviving, have you?" Merle growled as he grabbed a vase he's missed and deliberately slammed it into the ground so that it shattered into hundreds of tiny shards which flew off in all directions and scattered across the tile. "Is it too much effort? You wanna just go die now because I hurt your little fucking feelings trying to get you actually fucking function?"

"Stop," Glenn managed to squeak out as he took a timid step backward. This was not only the most angry he'd ever seen Merle - it was the most angry he'd ever seen anybody. In Glenn's family, people raised their voices at most. They never deliberately broke everything in sight while full-on screaming.

Merle had a wild look in his eyes and almost seemed to smile and scowl at the same time as he shoved the entire shelf over and laughed an angry, sarcastic-sounding laugh. Glenn could hear the sound clay pots breaking as the shelf toppled over. They must have been on a lower shelf. "You're lucky I'm breaking this shit instead of your little arms, you ungrateful little son of bitch," Merle growled, taking another step forward shoving a row of wilted plants on top of the next shelf to the ground.

"Merle, stop!" Glenn tried again as he backed himself further away from the man. He was going to run out of plants and vases soon and Glenn didn't want to know what he'd break then. Glenn inhaled a shaking breath as he took careful steps backward. "You're scaring me... Stop..."

"Oh, am I scaring you?" Merle stared back at him and grabbed at another shelf. This one was bolted down, so he decided to kick it instead, causing a few dried up plants in pots on the top of the structure to wobble precariously near its edge. "You should be fucking scared! You refuse to learn how to take care of yourself because it's too scary, but you have the nerve to punch me in the face? I ought'a hit you the same way you hit me. As hard as I can. It's only fair."

Glenn shook his head. "You already hit me..." he exhaled as he shrunk down against the shelf he'd backed himself into.

"Not as hard as you hit me," Merle growled. "You don't wanna know how much I held back out there. If I hit you as hard as I could, you'd be knocked out in the street. You think the walkers are scary, but you ain't scared of me?" Merle pouted slightly and had a wild look in his eyes. "I should break your fucking nose. Knock out some teeth... You'd deserve it."

Swallowing, Glenn looked past Merle at the store's door - its only exit. He wondered if he should try to make a run for it. Was Merle just angry, or would he really do all these things he was threatening Glenn with?

Merle inhaled and exhaled a few times as he stared silently down at Glenn, almost as though he was waiting for Glenn to speak next... but Glenn didn't know if he should just stay quiet until the man calmed down.

Glenn held his breath and stared back. Maybe this was how Merle's family had taught him to communicate, by saying his piece and being too threatening and frightening for anyone to dare to argue back. For the moment, it was kind of working. Glenn still felt Merle was wrong for trying to make him put down Sam, but for the moment, he wondered if shutting up and letting Merle finish breaking things and screaming would be the only way for this 'conversation' to end without Glenn being seriously hurt after.

"You don't seem to grasp that this is the god-damned world you live in now. Killing walkers is part of your life, or at least it's gonna have to be. The only way you ain't never gonna have to kill one is if you become one," Merle told him in a voice dripping with anger as he pulled his hand into a fist, but finally left the poor plants alone.

Glenn shook his head as he breathed out somewhat frightened breaths. Merle seemed very upset, but Glenn was upset too. He wondered if Merle was going to hit him again, but he still wanted to argue his own case here. He didn't want to give the man his way just because Merle was scary. Merle was wrong to try to make him kill Sam, even if the other boy was already dead. Glenn had every right to defend his reaction.

Merle kept going though, leaving Glenn no room to respond just yet. "You gonna start giving a fucking effort or do you want me to leave you here? Is that what you seriously want?" Merle growled. He still had blood dripping from his nose, down over his lips and chin and onto his shirt. Glenn must have hit him pretty hard. His sister was right about that punching technique... kind of... It had hurt Merle, but hadn't incapacitated him. "If you want to pretend the world's all sunshine and fucking roses, go right ahead. Go off on your own and see how long that lasts. Is that what you want? You gonna take care of yourself by running away from everything until you're cornered and get eaten a-fucking-live?"

Shaking his head again, Glenn opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted again by Merle's angry shouting.

"If you ever fucking punch me again, I'll hit you so hard you won't fucking wake up after," Merle threatened. "Too scared to kill a fucking walker, but you'll punch a grown man twice your size in the face? I can do a lot more damage than those walkers. Believe me. I've been bein' nice tryin' to teach you all this shit. I ain't got no obligation to train you to be competent or to put up with you being a spoiled little brat. I was doin' you a god damned favor. You're lucky I didn't break your little jaw and shut you up for good."

"Okay!" Glenn finally interrupted, shaking slightly as he was unsure what Merle was going to say or do next. He wasn't sure if Merle welcomed Glenn's response or if he just wanted to continue yelling, but Glenn deserved the right to explain himself. "I understand... I do need to learn how to put them down... I get it... Not that one though... I understand..." He sniffed back tears as his lower lip trembled. "I know I have to learn... But I couldn't kill him..."

"Why?" Merle demanded, his voice still threatening and anger still practically radiating off him. "What the hell are you waiting for? Eventually you're gonna be cornered by one, and if you don't know how to deal with it, it's gonna fuckin' kill you."

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Glenn looked down at the ground. "It was Sam... It was my cousin..."

The anger on Merle's face immediately melted away and a look Glenn didn't recognize replaced it. "Shit... Really?"

"Yeah," Glenn bit his lip and held back tears. "That's why we look similar... You said it was like looking in the mirror..."

Merle grimaced. "Damn... I was just making a shitty race joke... You know, all Chinese look the same?" He forced a nervous laugh.

"We're not fucking Chinese!" Glenn screamed, clenching his hands into fists and staring back at the man still blocking his only exit. He was so tired of Merle being insensitive, crude, rough, and violent. He hated that the guy made racist jokes and tried to force him to kill walkers when he wasn't confident about it... He also hadn't forgotten that Merle slapped him pretty hard a couple minutes ago.

"Woah..." Merle raised his hands in defense and laughed. "Little kid's got a mouth on him all of a sudden. I didn't know it was your cousin, okay? So calm your damn tits. I was makin' a joke. You gotta lighten up."

Scowling back at him, Glenn could feel himself shaking in anger rather than fear this time. Now was certainly not the time for racist jokes, and if Merle got to scream and yell in a fit of rage and not be held accountable for it, Glenn could too. At least he had a good excuse. Just because Merle was in a better mood now didn't mean this was over.

"You're selfish, and racist, and insensitive. And you're mean and violent and pretty much just a bully... I hate you!" Glenn screamed at Merle. "That was my cousin - the last person I had left... and he's dead, and you don't even care! You just want to make racist jokes and be the biggest bastard you can possibly be all the time!"

Merle rolled his eyes. "I never claimed to not be a bastard, kid. But I really was tryin' to help, and I didn't know-"

"Just shut up," Glenn interrupted, feeling fear in his chest even as he spoke. He knew he probably shouldn't challenge Merle when the man had made it very apparent that he wasn't opposed to punching Glenn again, but he was just so mad.

"Maybe you need to take a damn minute and calm down," Merle suggested with a scowl of his own. "Disrespectful little shit."

Glenn felt himself shaking in anger as he stared back at Merle. "Just get away from me. Go back to your funeral home and sit all alone. Tell yourself as many stupid racist jokes as you want. You're the only one rude enough to appreciate them. Just go. I don't need help, and I don't want to help you either. I'll just stay on my own. I don't care if I die. It'll be better than being with you," Glenn growled.


	12. Effort

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Chapter 12

xxxxxx

Merle raised his eyebrows as he looked down at Glenn. He had yet to see the kid this angry. He'd seen him scared, he'd seen him annoyed, but he hadn't seen anything like this. He wasn't going to leave, whether Glenn wanted him to or not. Merle didn't take orders from anyone, and he certainly wasn't going to abandon the kid right now when he was in such a vulnerable mindset. If Glenn went off on his own at this point, he wouldn't last until morning.

Two minutes ago, Merle wouldn't have felt so opposed to abandoning Glenn forever and not caring if he died. Two minutes ago, he may have even climbed up to a roof-top and eagerly watched the kid try and fail to make it down the street by himself. When Glenn punched him and ran off crying, Merle had to put a lot of effort into holding back and not beating the kid half to death. While still more pissed at the kid than he'd been at anyone in a long time, Merle had settled on breaking as much material shit as he could get his hands on because he knew if he didn't destroy something, he'd probably kill the kid in a fit of rage. Now that he knew why Glenn had thrown his little tantrum though, Merle didn't want to punch him into the ground so much.

If that walker had been Daryl, Merle would have been pretty fucking upset too. He could understand why Glenn freaked out like he did... But the boy did need to get over it and move on. Knowing Glenn's reasoning now, Merle felt less upset about the rather harsh palm to his nose and practically felt proud of the kid for it. It had honestly hurt. Merle even still had a hint of tears in his eyes and would have hardly been surprised if his nose was broken.

"Listen, kid..." Merle tried to soften his tone, but no matter how uncharacteristically sympathetic he was feeling, he didn't have any desire to be too nice or to encourage Glenn's current angry tone. "I didn't fuckin' know it was your cousin. Obviously I wouldn't 'a asked you to put down your own damn cousin. I figured there was more than just two Chinese kids in Atlanta. What are the chances, right?"

"We. Are. Not. Chinese. You asshole," Glenn spoke in slow, measured words. Merle could see that he was shaking very slightly. He looked so mad.

Merle couldn't help but to smirk. He always loved when he figured out how to best annoy a particular person. It seemed Glenn was very offended at being mis-labeled as Chinese. Even so, Merle recognized that he needed to tone it down for now. "Whatever you are... I really didn't know it was him... So..." He shrugged. Apologizing wasn't one of his talents.

Glenn crossed his arms over his chest and exhaled loudly as he stared up at Merle. He seemed to be waiting for Merle to say more, but Merle really didn't have much else to say.

Merle stared back and thought about the walker kid he'd just put down. He had been older than Glenn, but not by too much. He had a bullet hole in his chest too, and tons of blood soaking the front of his shirt, indicating that he'd been shot, probably through his back, while still alive and had bled out quite a bit. He hadn't been torn apart by zombies. Someone had shot him.

Narrowing his eyes, Merle looked Glenn up and down again. All of a sudden he was very curious to know what the hell happened. He'd met the kid only a day and a half before when he was acting like he was running from someone... Merle had assumed it was walkers, but now that he knew the cousin had died of a gunshot, and now that Merle remembered hearing gunshots just a few minutes before Glenn had run into the alley, he was able to piece things together.

It was clear when Merle met Glenn that the kid had just recently been through something traumatizing. The fresh blood on his hands and arms led Merle to believe that a walker had maybe bitten into his cousin and Glenn had had to leave the other kid behind... But it now seemed that when Merle and Glenn first met, Glenn had witnessed his cousin's rather violent murder only a couple minutes before and may have been running not from the dead, but from the living.

"Glenn..." Merle frowned. "What happened? Who did that to him?"

Glenn's lower lip trembled and he looked like he was ready to start crying again.

Merle sighed. "Don't cry, kid... I know it sucks..."

Glenn sniffed and held back his tears. "You don't... You don't know anything. The only person you care about is your brother, and he's probably still alive. You never lost anyone you cared about. You said so yourself."

Merle shrugged. That was true. He didn't give a damn about his other family members or anyone else in this world. He cared about Daryl, and he knew his little brother was probably out there surviving somewhere. He really didn't have any idea how Glenn felt right now.

"I just want to go home," Glenn whimpered and hugged his arms around himself.

"To the funeral home? Come on then. I'll-" Merle started.

"No!" Glenn interrupted. "I don't want to go to the stupid funeral home. I want to go home. To Michigan. I want my mom and dad. I hate this city. I hate it so much. Everyone here is either dead or cruel. It smells like death. There's blood and flies and broken glass everywhere... I don't want to be here. I just wanna go home," he said again in a small, trembling voice.

Merle frowned as he looked around the shop at the mess of broken glass and shattered clay pots. He'd probably scared the kid half to death... but at least Merle had had the good sense to take his rage out on the vases and shelves rather than by responding how Merle's dad would have if Merle had been foolish enough to have given the man a bloody nose. Glenn would probably be covered in bruises and have broken bones if Merle hadn't made a very deliberate effort to hold back. If Merle had fully followed his own father's example, Glenn likely wouldn't have even been able to stand right now. He'd be cowering over in the corner struggling to even breathe.

Merle hadn't ever been put into a position where he had to deal with children. Not like this... He'd never been in charge of one, hadn't ever looked after one or decide how to react when a child really pissed him off... He never planned to have kids or work with kids, and rather hoped he wouldn't end up like his father in any way. He was glad he hadn't taken things even further, but hitting Glenn back outside and scaring the hell out of the kid wasn't something he was proud of. A few minutes before, when Merle was knocking things off of shelves and breaking everything in sight, he had been slightly amused by Glenn's response. He wanted the kid to be scared and was happy to see his threats and violence produce the desired result, but now he felt what he could only guess was guilt. Merle had tried to force the kid to kill his own undead cousin and had proceeded to hit him and threaten to hurt him worse. No wonder the boy didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

He shook his head and looked back at Glenn, who was sniffing back tears as he stared down at the floor. The kid looked so little, and so young in that moment. All he wanted was to be back with his parents, who were probably long dead. This boy had no one left and was obviously having a difficult time accepting that fact.

"I hate everything that the world is right now. Everyone dies, and even then it's not over. Sam had to die twice. Uncle Henry's probably walking around out there somewhere, trying to eat people like a terrible monster. We don't even bury anyone anymore. They either get torn to shreds or left wherever they fall. The nicest people die and the villains get to live. I hate this. It's not fair. The whole world is awful now," Glenn sniffed.

Merle nodded and sat down on the floor, blocking the door both so Glenn couldn't leave and so no one else could get in. "How about we stay here tonight," he offered. "And tomorrow we'll find some way to bury your cousin. You know as well as I do that there ain't nothin' I can do to bring him back, but we can bury him if that's what you want."

Glenn looked uncertain as he stared back at Merle.

"Hm? Then you can leave if you want. Go off somewhere and get yourself killed. Whatever you want," Merle offered.

Glenn frowned, but didn't say anything.

"I get why you don't like the city. Hell, I don't really like it either... but I got a good thing going here. It's dangerous sometimes, the only living people left suck worse than the dead half the time, but I can use them to my advantage, and it's working out for for me. I'm sure as shit not leaving any time soon. I ain't gonna make you stay with me, but I ain't gonna follow you around and protect you if you choose to leave, and judging by what I've seen of ya, you ain't gonna last on your own," Merle told him.

"You don't need those people though. You're helping them more than they help you. You risk your life bringing them things they need while they just give you things that'll kill you quicker," Glenn noted.

Merle narrowed his eyes. Glenn was probably right about that. Merle rarely traded them for stuff he actually needed, and he did give them things they needed. He frowned as he looked Glenn over as well. Somehow he'd turned into a fucking provider for everyone left in the city. He was delivering supplies to three different groups, keeping this kid alive. How the hell had he let this happen?

"I wish my parents had never sent me here. Sam probably would still be alive..." Glenn spoke in a quiet voice.

"You never know. Maybe somethin' about you bein' there with him helped him survive longer. You can't think about what could have been. You beat yourself up over that kinda shit and you'll never feel content again. You can't change the past and you can never know what would'a happened," Merle reminded him.

Glenn nodded and sniffed. He seemed to have calmed down a bit, but still looked kind of on-edge.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" Merle suggested. "It'll probably help to just get it all outta your head, right? I can't fix any of this, but I can listen to you at least. Let you vent..."

With an exhale, Glenn looked around the flower shop at all the dead, dried up plants and then finally sat down on the floor a few paces from Merle. "If you say anything mean about any of this-" he started.

"I won't," Merle raised his hands in defense and offered a small laugh. "I know I'm a dick sometimes, but I ain't heartless. I'm sorry your cousin died... That really sucks. Sensitivity ain't one of my strengths, but I'll try not to be an ass."

Glenn smiled slightly.

"Go on," Merle nodded. He both wanted to know what happened and honestly did think it might do Glenn some good to talk about it. Just because Merle repressed all of his own trauma didn't mean he thought it was healthy for others to do the same.

"We were doing fine at first," Glenn told him, apparently wanting to start way back at the beginning instead of just answering the damn question. "It was me and my uncle Henry and Sam. Henry would go get supplies because he didn't want Sam and me to be in danger - because early on we went with him and people at the store were pretty violent. Sam ended up with a bloody lip that day. Someone elbowed him in the face, so Uncle Henry didn't let us come with him anymore after that. So we'd just stay home when he went on supply runs. But one day he never came back, so it was just Sam and me for probably over a month... but I lost track of days a long time ago."

Merle nodded. Even though it didn't work out forever, he was somewhat impressed that these two kids had survived alone in the city for that long.

"So the day before yesterday we were going on a supply run, and I'd usually be the one to go, because I was faster. Sam would stay up on the fire escape to keep watch and if too many geeks started crowding around or heading toward me, Sam would tell me on a walkie talkie and either I'd take an alternate route back home, or Sam would distract them... but it didn't work so well this time," Glenn told him. "Well, actually it did, I guess. I screwed up after."

Merle narrowed his eyes and waited for Glenn to further explain.

"Sam had climbed down and was luring a bunch of 'em away. I ran back to the fire escape, but one had followed me, so I climbed up into the apartment and then went to a different fire escape to try to lure it away so Sam could climb up... But I had to go through the neighbor's apartment, and I didn't realize he was in there... and he was dead... but not dead. I made it out to the fire escape before I ever knew he was there, but then he cornered me and I couldn't get back in without going through him. I tried to stab him with my knife, but it got caught on his jaw... Sam had to kill him, but at some point, he got bitten. He didn't tell me until the next day."

Merle grimaced. Maybe that's why Glenn had seemed so paranoid last night when he kept asking Merle if he'd been bitten - because he'd just gone through this with his cousin. His cousin had lied about being bitten and Glenn was scared Merle would do the same. "That had to have sucked, kid." Merle offered a forced, tight smile.

"It did." Glenn nodded. "That's why we left the apartment. Sam wanted to find a group that I could join. I thought he was going to join too. I thought he just figured we both had a close call and would both be safer being with a group from now on, but then he showed me that he was bitten. He was just trying to get me someplace safe before he died."

"So how'd he get shot then?" Merle wondered.

"Well, some guys found us after we left home, and I guess they wanted all of our supplies back at the apartment," Glenn frowned. "We were just gonna take them back there and give it to them. We kind of had to. They had a gun." Glenn swallowed and looked down. "I don't know for sure what they wanted and why they wouldn't just let us go and take the stuff... but they really seemed to not want to let us leave and one of them was saying stuff that sounded..." Glenn paused and actually shuddered slightly as he closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. "I don't know... He was rubbing his hands all over me and saying weird things. I wasn't sure what he meant. I think Sam was sure though. He tackled the guy to the ground and we ran for it. They chased us and were shooting after us. That's when they shot Sam. And they caught me again. They didn't care that they had just killed him. They didn't even care." Glenn shook his head as tears filled his eyes.

Merle simply stared back as Glenn inhaled and exhaled before going on.

"They weren't going to let me go this time, and Sam wasn't alive anymore to help me. The one from before, the one who was putting his hands all over me and saying weird things... He grabbed me again and-" The boy shook his head and decided against further explaining whatever he was describing. "He wasn't gonna let me go... but then they had to take care of some geeks attracted by the gunfire. He told me not to run. He said he'd shoot me if I did, but I was really scared. I didn't want to let him do whatever he was gonna do... I just ran as fast as I could. I had to leave Sam there. I didn't have a choice. I ran and ran, hoping they wouldn't come after me or shoot me... and that's when I met you."

"That's some pretty rough shit, Glenn. People are nothing short of god-damned monsters these days," Merle reminded him. No wonder the poor kid was acting crazy like he thought he was being followed when he ran into Merle. He had been being followed - and by people who had just murdered his only family member he had left, right in front of him.

Glenn shrugged and exhaled. "It's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Sam was one of my best friends ever since we were kids... I guess it feels a little better to talk about it instead of pretending he never existed at all. Thanks for letting me tell you."

Merle nodded and stared at Glenn. Now it made sense why the boy seemed to think for a moment that Merle was some kind of pervert... because he'd just escaped from one. All of Glenn's irrational, over-the-top fearful behavior was making a lot more sense now. Merle had just assumed Glenn was a jumpy little kid - a normal kid. Any rational twelve year old would fear the undead and would be suspicious of adult strangers. But Glenn wasn't just a regular, sheltered kid. Maybe he had been before the apocalypse and maybe even remained quite sheltered well into the end of the world, but in just that one morning, he'd been through hell.

As Merle looked Glenn over, he noticed bruises up and down the kid's arms. It would be easy to blame those on the guy Glenn just told him about, but Merle had grabbed the boy pretty hard on more than one occasion. It was very possible those bruises were Merle's fault. He'd been pretty rough with Glenn considering the poor kid had just escaped from violent sexual predator murderers.

Merle was quite often what could only be described as immoral and heartless, but he did have places where he'd draw the line. He didn't like child abuse, sexual assault, or violence against women. Of course, there were exceptions... If a woman was being a huge bitch, maybe Merle would slap her a little. Not too hard. He knew his own strength... He didn't want to be unfair and beat a little woman into the ground just because he could. But he didn't have to let them get away with being bitches either. The same went for kids. He didn't ever want to hurt them just because he could, but if one was too far out of line, he wasn't opposed to setting them straight. That's why he'd slapped Glenn across his face after the kid had punched him. He honestly felt kind of bad about it now though. He'd probably hit him harder than he needed to, and now that he realized why Glenn was freaking the fuck out, the slap across the face seemed pretty harsh.

"Sorry for how all that went just now," Merle said before he could convince himself not to. He wasn't one for apologizing, but from Glenn's perspective, Merle had handled walker-Sam probably about the worst possible way he could have. Trying to force Glenn to put down his cousin when the kid couldn't even manage to kill a walker that wasn't connected to a very recent trauma was cruel. Slapping him during the ordeal seemed pretty cruel too, even if Glenn had hit Merle first.

"Thanks." Glenn exhaled and leaned back against the wall. "I'm sorry I punched you... I know you didn't realize it was Sam... and I know you're trying to help me."

Merle frowned. Trying to help him? Is that what Merle was doing? When he thought about it, he found that Glenn was probably right. Merle really was trying to help the boy - help him learn to defend himself, so when the time came when he needed to, he'd be ready. But why the hell would Merle possibly want to expend that kind of effort? Why was he trying to teach this kid anything? He'd started off their relationship hoping to use Glenn to make his life easier, but that's not what was happening at all...

Surely he wasn't starting to honestly care about this boy, right?

He never thought he'd have to remind himself to not get too attached to some stupid fucking kid. Merle didn't care about people. He didn't like kids, he didn't like Asians, and he didn't like people in general... So why was he trying to teach this kid to survive? Why did he feel bad for smacking him? Why did he feel what he could only guess was empathy for the boy's situation?

He stared at Glenn, who was settling down against the wall and seeming to try to get some sleep. What the hell had Merle gotten himself into? Was he supposed to just act as this little fucker's father or something? Why had he agreed to let this damn kid stay with him? Glenn was absolutely not his problem. Merle had no obligation to make sure he was alright. He didn't owe this boy a damn thing and definitely shouldn't care if he lived or died.

Merle scowled at the boy. He felt kind of angry that Glenn had somehow picked up on Merle being caring before even Merle realized he was doing it. All that bullshit last night about Merle having the potential to be a good father, he thought, was Glenn being an emotional drunk... but no one was drunk now, and Glenn was still implying that Merle had a heart he most certainly didn't ask for. This shit couldn't continue on like this.

Since when did Merle put forth the effort to help anyone, much less some random, annoying, pussy little kid? Why did he give a damn if Glenn got himself killed? Maybe it really would be best for both of them if they went their separate ways. Glenn would probably get himself killed, but Merle would never have to know, nor should he care even if he did know. This wasn't his problem...

xxxxxx


	13. Trade Group Number Two

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Chapter 13

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Once they'd woken up in the morning, Glenn and Merle had set to work providing a strange kind of burial and sort of funeral for Sam. Since they were in the middle of the city, there wasn't really any place to actually bury him, so Merle had wrapped him in a sheet they found at a shop down the street and they'd left him in the flower shop, covered in all the dry, wilted flowers. It wasn't the kind of burial Glenn would have hoped for, but it was better than nothing and provided a certain sense of closure. It was all he and Merle could offer to Sam, and Glenn appreciated that Merle had gone along with it, even if the man had been mostly silent during the entire process.

Glenn was well aware that Merle had nothing invested in Sam and couldn't have cared less if they just left his body out in the street. He really had no reason to help Glenn set up the flower burial other than to be nice, which seemed to be against his nature. Glenn really appreciated his help, but was starting to wonder what the man was thinking. He was much more quiet today than he had been yesterday.

Now they were traveling to meet up with the second of the three groups Merle regularly did trades with. They'd gone back to the funeral home to get the things to trade and were heading toward the gas station where Merle usually traded with these people.

"We're gonna do this the same as before. You're doin' the trade. I'll watch from the rooftop," Merle told him in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Glenn nodded. All morning their conversation had been very sparse. Merle seemed to be in a strange mood and Glenn was starting to feel like the man was getting tired of him. Even though Glenn had told Merle last night that he wanted to leave, he wasn't sure he still felt that way and hoped Merle didn't want him gone either.

The world as a whole was far scarier than Merle was. Sure, the guy wasn't perfect. He said rude things and tended to get a little violent sometimes, but he seemed to usually mean well and had actually shown a few instances of kindness, even if he probably wouldn't want to admit that about himself. For now, Glenn didn't think staying with Merle would be such a bad deal... but maybe Merle was back to not wanting him there anymore. Maybe Glenn was being too needy, requiring funerals for the dead people he knew, refusing to kill the geeks, crying too much... Glenn didn't normally cry so much... He'd just had a really, really bad couple of days.

"Stay back," Merle spoke in an even tone as he put his hand on Glenn's chest and stopped him in his tracks. He took a couple steps forward and took down a geek that had been staggering out of an alley. Another one followed, and Merle took out that one too.

Glenn frowned. Merle wasn't even trying to get Glenn to kill them anymore. Maybe he'd given up on the boy... Maybe he didn't care if Glenn ever learned to do this himself.

"I can-" Glenn hesitated. He really didn't want to kill any of the geeks... but he also didn't want to be useless, and for some reason he found he was sort of craving Merle's approval. "I can try... to kill one of them." He grimaced as soon as the words left his mouth, fearful that Merle would take him up on the offer and he'd actually have to follow through.

Merle shook his head. "I got it. It's easy for me. Don't worry about it."

Though Glenn should have felt relieved, he found himself feeling kind of offended. Merle clearly thought Glenn was useless and have given up on helping him make progress with this particular task. No matter how scary and violent the act was, the fact that Merle had been trying to teach him how to do it was proof that the man cared about Glenn in some way - he wanted Glenn to be prepared if he was ever trapped on his own. Did he not care anymore?

Glenn looked down at his shoes as he continued walking. "Well... Don't you think I should-"

"No," Merle interrupted. "You'll just get yourself bitten. This shit's not something to fuck around with. I'm not gonna humor you on this so you can learn. I'm not your damn teacher. It's quicker and safer if I just do it."

Glenn frowned. He thought that this was what he wanted - for Merle to take care of all the dangerous, disturbing parts of life for him, but he didn't like how Merle was making him feel right now. At the moment, Glenn felt completely worthless, and was no longer sure if Merle even liked him. Merle's methods of teaching him had been scary and often uncomfortable, but maybe if Glenn had been more open to it, and if the one geek hadn't been Glenn's recently murdered cousin, Glenn could have actually learned something. Merle was right before when he said that this was something Glenn needed to know. In the world, as it was now, Glenn really did need to know this. Avoiding the geeks didn't work forever. One day he was going to have to kill one, and if he couldn't do it, someone else was going to die. Sam was dead because Glenn didn't know how to do this himself. He didn't want to make that mistake again...

So as Merle went to one side and took out a geek stumbling out of an alley, Glenn took the opportunity to jog ahead toward a stray geek in the middle of the street. If Merle didn't want to teach him anymore, Glenn would just have to teach himself. Maybe Merle had given up on Glenn. Maybe the man thought the boy was a lost cause... Glenn would just have to prove himself - show Merle that he was more capable than the man thought.

He gripped his knife in a firm, but slightly shaking hand and ran right up to the walking corpse. Though he was terrified, he knew he couldn't afford to hesitate. He couldn't overthink this. He just had to do it. Quick and virtually without thought. This was something he needed to be able to do, so he did just that. Just as Merle had shown him before, Glenn put his left hand on the geek's neck, holding it in place while he quickly stabbed his knife into the side of its head. Glenn yelped a small, breathless sound as his knife pierced the geek's skull and as he could hardly believe what he was doing. He had never dreamed he'd be stabbing a walking corpse in the head, especially not when someone else had agreed to do it for him so he wouldn't have to.

Glenn let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in as the corpse thudded to the ground in front of him, taking his knife down with it. He let go of the weapon and let it go down with the body, grimacing and staring down at his handiwork. The kill hadn't been perfect. If there had been another geek around, Glenn would have been screwed, since his knife went down with the corpse... but he'd done it. He'd killed one, all on his own. He had finally done something that was actually useful. If he was ever cornered by a geek again, maybe he'd be able to get himself out of the situation without putting anyone else in danger...

Glenn felt himself shaking slightly as he looked down at the body on the ground in front of him. He needed to get his knife back. Grimacing, he reached toward the weapon and pulled it out of the skull. Moving the knife created a gross, squishing and slightly cracking sound. Glenn shuddered and held onto the knife's handle. It was really gross now. Was he supposed to just put it back into his belt after that?

"Wasn't so hard, was it?" Merle was grinning a huge smile as he walked up to Glenn and patted him heavily on the back. "Proud of you, kid."

"Really?" Glenn smiled. "You are?"

Merle shrugged and his smile immediately fell. "I ain't sayin' it again. Hold onto your knife tighter next time. Try to pull it out as the walker falls. You can't waste time collecting your knife every time because one of these days there's gonna be more right after the first one. You gonna keep your knife in hand the whole time."

Glenn nodded. "Do I just leave the blood all over it?" He frowned.

"I use their shirts to clean it once I'm done killin' 'em," Merle told him.

"Oh." Glenn looked down at the walker, remembering that it had once been someone. This guy was somebody's son, maybe a brother... maybe a boyfriend, husband, or even father. It seemed kind of disrespectful to clean their blood off the knife with their own shirt... Even so, Glenn carefully did so, taking one last look at the corpse before following Merle toward their destination. He didn't have time to mourn for strangers. He'd barely had time to mourn the ones he actually knew.

"So these guys are supposed to give me a couple bottles of pills, a box of cigars, and a shit ton of lighter fluid," Merle explained. "Like before, they should cooperate. If they don't, they'll be sorry. None of these people have ever posed a problem before, so it should be all good."

Glenn glanced up at Merle. "Two questions... First, what am I giving them?" he asked.

"This." Merle dragged a plastic shopping bag out of the larger canvas bag he was carrying. "It's mostly a couple different sizes of batteries. And there's some rope, nails, and a hammer."

Glenn nodded. It was interesting to see what different groups requested from Merle and what they had to offer back. "And how much exactly is a shit ton?" Glenn asked his second question.

Merle smirked down at him. "Just take what they give you. If they fuck me over, I'll take care of it. I don't expect you to argue with anyone over lighter fluid, kid. I doubt they'll try anything even with you making the trade. You might think they'd see you as an opportunity to gyp me, but they do know I'm still around... even if you're the face of the operation."

"Okay," Glenn agreed. He hoped none of Merle's acquaintances ever tried to take Merle's supplies without giving anything back. It's not like Glenn could really stop them if they wanted to. "Are these people nice?" He wondered.

Merle shrugged. "They never really pissed me off yet. Gas station's right up there." Merle gestured toward a gas station with litter and debris all over its lot. Several of the nozzles were on the ground next to the pumps and a few other nozzles were missing all together. All the windows of the building were broken and it looked to have been cleaned out pretty thoroughly. "I'll be up on this roof here." He gestured toward the building they were next to. "If you run into any problems, call up to me and I'll see what I can do. If there's walkers in there, just come back out if you don't think you can handle 'em. Don't be scared to ask for help. I know you're gettin' kinda confident today, but don't let your confidence kill ya."

Glenn nodded. He was far less confident than Merle seemed to think.

"See ya in five or ten minutes. If they're not in there already, just wait. They'll be there eventually. They always show up. Hard to be precise these days, but they'll be there," Merle told him.

Glenn bit his lower lip and headed toward the gas station. Hopefully these people would fully cooperate just as the last group had. And hopefully there wouldn't be any walkers waiting in the store.

He made his way through the door, walking slowly and looking around as broken glass crunched under his feet. A lot of the shelves in this store were either empty or tossed to the floor. People must have raided this place rather violently.

Once he was sure there were no geeks hiding out, he looked back out toward the street. No one was in here. But like Merle had said, people didn't often have clocks anymore, so it wasn't crazy that these people weren't here just yet. For all Glenn knew, he was early. He didn't know Merle's and these people's exact meeting time.

While he waited, Glenn paced around the shop. Maybe he could find something useful... Probably not, but he didn't have anything better to do. He made his way over toward the wall which was lined with freezers and refrigerators. Besides for some broken bottles and crushed cans at the bottom, they were empty.

He walked down one of the aisles. Almost every single thing in the store had already been taken. He looked over at the soda fountains and slushie machines. He wished he could go back to the days when he could walk down to the gas station near his home in Michigan and buy a slushie. He'd probably never have one ever again.

Glenn flinched as he heard the sounds of crunching bits of glass under someone's feet. He turned toward the sound, hoping it was the people he was here to meet and not the undead. When he saw who it was, however, his shoulders slumped and he felt dread in the pit of his stomach.

"John, look who it is," one of the three men who had ambushed him and Sam two days ago spoke up to the group's leader.

"Hey, little guy." The man who had grabbed and threatened him before, Tim grinned at him. "I figured you got snatched up by the dead by now... I'm so happy to see you."

Glenn swallowed a lump in his throat. He wasn't sure how he should go about this... If he just told them he was working with Merle, would they respect that? Were these even the people Merle traded with? Maybe they just so happened to walk in here... They could very likely not even know who Merle was. Would he be better off to call for Merle's help? Would Merle even hear him from all the way on top of the building across the street? Would these men get angry if he screamed and shoot him before Merle could ever get here? Would they shoot Merle too when the man finally did arrive?

He decided to just tell them why he was here and hope they feared Merle enough to respect their deal. Even though what Glenn wanted to do was attack these guys and scream at them for what they had done to him and Sam, he knew it would be smarter to play nice. Glenn wasn't strong enough to tell brutes like this how he really felt. He knew they could hurt him if they wanted to, so he had to remain calm and patient, no matter how angry he felt inside. "Merle sent me..." he said in a small voice. "I'm supposed to give you this." He held out the bag of supplies, hoping these were indeed Merle's acquaintances and that this would make them go away.

The group's leader, John, stepped forward and took the bag from Glenn, looking inside of it for a moment before glancing back at Glenn. "Thanks, kid... So, you're working for Merle now, huh? How'd that happen?"

Glenn shrugged. He didn't really know how to explain it, and didn't owe this man an explanation. "I don't know... We're just working together... You're supposed to give me something back," he reminded the guy. It took everything in him to pretend like this was just an ordinary trade and to not even acknowledge that these men had murdered the only family he had left in the world, right in front of him... for no reason.

Tim laughed from a few yards away. "You were supposed to give me somethin' too, kid. You kinda got me excited and then let me down pretty hard the other day. Thought I told you not to run off..."

Glenn glared at him and swallowed a lump in his throat before mustering up more courage. "Either give me Merle's stuff or don't. I don't care. But he's going to be really mad if I don't leave with what I came for... And it's not me he's gonna be mad at," he threatened, feeling his chest growing cold as he wondered if allowing himself to show a bit of anger was a mistake.

"Alright," Tim laughed softly. "Here you go." He swung a backpack - the one that used to belong to Sam - off of his shoulder and dug through it until he found a worn-looking paper bag. "Come get it."

Glenn shook his head. He wasn't falling for that again. "Just put it on the counter and leave."

Tim stared back at him and licked his lips. "You've gotten kinda cocky over the past couple days, huh? Not so scared anymore?" He looked and sounded angry, but made no move to act on his anger just yet. "We're sorry about your brother, kid. We told you that already. There's no need to be a little jerk. He was bitten. He was sick and he was in pain. We put him out of his misery."

Glenn felt himself shaking slightly as he fought the urge to get angry. He knew how dangerous these men were. He just needed to stay calm until he could get himself out of here. Then he could tell Merle that he wasn't trading with this group again. Merle would either respect that, or Glenn would leave. He just needed to get through this one last interaction with them without starting a fight.

"I'm not here to talk about that. I just want the stuff Merle asked for." Glenn had to put a lot of effort into keeping his voice calm, but there was still an edge to it.

"Alright," Tim smirked. "No need to get all pissed off. I was just talkin' to you." He paced across the store to the counter by the cash register and put the bag down. "What all do you do for Merle, little guy?" he wondered as he turned back toward Glenn. "He don't seem like the type who'd take in a kid for no reason..."

"I do what he needs me to do. We help each other. It's really none of your business," Glenn answered. "You can go now."

"I'll bet he asks you to do all sorts of stuff," Tim smirked.

Glenn stared back, but didn't respond.

"I'll bet by now you know exactly what he likes... Keep him company, do ya?" Tim made a 'c' gesture with his hand and moved it suggestively near his mouth with a laugh - the same way older boys on the bus used to do to make fun of each other by mimicking oral sex - which they likely didn't even know anything about - back when Glenn was in school. "You'll probably let him put whatever he wants in that little mouth of yours as long as he keeps you safe, hm? That's all we wanted, you know. We weren't gonna let you die. We would'a gave you the same thing. I'll bet Merle's rougher with you than I'd be too. That guy's kind of an asshole. Can't imagine him being gentle with anybody. Never knew he had a thing for little Asian boys though."

Glenn shook his head and grimaced. "Merle's not like that," he told the man in a voice he could barely keep from shaking.

"You know that won't last, right?" Tim took a step forward. "If he's not making you do it yet, he will be. But I find it hard to believe you've been staying with him all this time and he hasn't asked for any little favors. Never got you down on your knees... had you open up that little mouth-"

"Stop." Glenn growled as he took a small step back. "He doesn't do that. He's not a creep like you are."

Tim laughed as he stared Glenn down like a predator stalking its prey."Maybe he prefers your soft little hands, or maybe he does it how I'd do it, bend you over, hold you down... And make you scream... I'll bet he doesn't hold back... Probably goes even harder the more you scream. Maybe he even likes it when you cry. You can tell us, you know. We don't judge." He took another step forward, backing Glenn further way from the door.

Glenn swallowed and bit his lip as he took another step back. He wondered if he should call for Merle's help, but chose to remain as stoic as possible instead. "You can go now," he said again. "I'm just here to do the trade. We've done it... so go."

Tim narrowed his eyes as he stared back at Glenn and then quickly and without warning rushed forward. Glenn gasped and tried to dart out of Tim's path, but the man was too quick. He grabbed Glenn's arm, pulling him back hard and easily tackling Glenn to the ground in one quick, powerful motion.

Glenn cried out a pained, surprised wince and struggled to wriggle out from under Tim as the man slapped his hand down over Glenn's face and growled down at him. "Don't you fucking call for help. If you get Merle to come in here, assuming he's nearby... You're just gonna get him killed. And the only other 'help' you're gonna attract is a bunch of the dead. They'll hurt you a lot worse than I would, so you need to just keep your mouth shut. You got that?"

Glenn whimpered under Tim's hand and tried to shove the man off of him. His shoulder throbbed where Tim had pulled him too hard and the man's great weight was crushing down against Glenn's body. He felt tears in his eyes, mostly from the pain in his arm, but also due to fear of what these men would do to him.

Effortlessly, Tim pulled Glenn up off the floor and dragged him over to the front counter, slamming him face first against it and pinning him down. "You're gonna give me what I want, and you're not going to tell Merle about it... as if he'd even give a shit. He just wants this stuff we owe him. He doesn't care about you."

"No," Glenn groaned in a shaking, pained breath and pushed against the counter with all of his might. Tim's body pressing his legs against the front of the counter and his large hands holding onto the back of Glenn's head and one of his arms were terrifyingly strong.

"We've got a deal with Merle. We give him shit. He gives us shit," Tim explained. "Well, we're gonna set up a deal with you too. You're gonna keep being Merle's delivery boy, and we're gonna have a little fun with you each time you visit us here. In exchange for you keepin' quiet about it, you'll get to live. Maybe we'll even bring you something extra if you're good."

"No!" Glenn winced and tugged at his trapped hand as he fought to squirm away. "Let me go! Please... You can just take the stuff I brought. You don't have to give us anything..."

"I doubt Merle would agree to that." Tim laughed and let go of Glenn's wrist, only to bring his hand down to the boy's waist. He ran his fingertips around to the front of Glenn's pants and started going for the button.

"Stop! Please don't!" Glenn gasped and tried to press himself closer against the counter top so that Tim couldn't work with the button on his jeans. He seemed to have crushed Tim's hand to an extent, because the man's demeanor immediately soured.

With a small growl, Tim pulled him away from the counter and spun him around long enough to hit him pretty hard across the face. "Stop fighting me," he demanded, hitting Glenn again in his ribs until the boy doubled over and coughed out a pained breath. He held onto Glenn's arm to keep him upright and punched him again.

"Stop!" Glenn winced as he struggled to breathe in shaking, pained breaths and tried to raise his arms in a defensive gesture. He could taste blood from a split lip and could barely breathe after Tim's very harsh blows against his ribs. He felt the man's fingertips leaving bruises on his arm as Tim raised his other hand again and swung his fist down against Glenn's ribs. "Ow! Please stop..." Glenn choked out, squeezing his eyes shut, moving his hurt arm over his chest to try to guard himself from further pain, and gasping for air.

"You keep fighting me, and I'm gonna beat you until you can't move," Tim warned him, reaching for the button on his jeans again and undoing it. He yanked down the zipper next and then turned Glenn back around and slammed him against the counter again and even lifted him off the ground as he pinned him where he wanted him, bent over with his legs dangling over the edge. His feet couldn't quite reach the floor.

"Please!" Glenn whimpered as he pushed against the counter with shaking arms. Moving his right arm hurt, as his shoulder seemed to be dislocated. Even so, Glenn was too desperate not to use that arm anyway. "Please don't do this," Glenn begged between sharp breaths. His entire body was in pain and his heart was thudding in his chest impossibly fast. He felt himself trembling as he continued to struggle with futility.

"Shhh," Tim moved his fingers in a deceptively gentle motion through Glenn's hair before reaching back down to his jeans. "Just hold still. It's not so bad."

Glenn tried to reach backward toward Tim's hands, but could do nothing to stop him from tugging his jeans down to his knees. He sniffed back tears as he looked around the space at the other two men who did nothing but stand and watch. "Please," Glenn's shaking voice begged of Tim's friends. "Please don't let him hurt me! I'll do anything... I'll work for you instead of Merle! Please..."

John simply shook his head, while the other man whose name Glenn hadn't caught didn't react at all.

Glenn breathed in a frightened, pained breath as he continued looking desperately back and forth between Tim's two friends. "Please!" He screamed in a shaking voice as he felt Tim press one hand against the back of his head, pushing his cheek harshly against the counter top. Didn't any of these men have even a shred of empathy or compassion? Were they really content to watch this happen and do nothing to help him?

He continued to struggle to squirm out of Tim's grip, but it seemed there was no use in fighting. The man was very strong and didn't seem to have any plan of easing up any time soon. As he pushed Glenn's face painfully against the counter, he ran his other hand up under the boy's shirt, over his back. When Glenn hissed and whimpered in discomfort and fear, Tim only laughed.

"Get off of me," Glenn pleaded again, feeling a lot more angry than his trembling voice sounded. "Don't touch me! Get away! Let me go!" Glenn's voice was rising right along with his fear. "Stop!"

"Shhh," Tim demanded in a low growl as he leaned forward and moved his hand slowly from Glenn's back down toward his boxers, resting his fingers on top of the thin material of the shorts. "You know your defiance just makes me want to hurt you worse, right? Do you realize that?" he noted as he ran his hand over Glenn's shorts, around his thigh and toward his front. Even with Glenn squirming under him, Tim managed to reach between Glenn's legs and squeezed his hand painfully and threateningly. "Stop screaming or I'll hurt you."

Glenn winced and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to flinch away from the man's hands. He tried to pull his legs closer together, but Tim's grip remained firm and he even squeezed harder in response to Glenn's struggles. Glenn whimpered in frustration, fear, and humiliation. No one was supposed to touch him there, not even with his shorts still on. "Stop!" he gasped as he struggled uselessly in an attempt to throw the man's hard hand off of him. "Please stop!"

His struggles only made Tim increase his grip more and more. "Stop fighting me," The man growled in a low voice as he pressed Glenn's head down harder against the counter as his other rough hand continued to paw around between the boy's legs. "I'll snap this little thing in half, you fucking brat. Shut up and stay still and maybe I'll be more careful."

"Please stop hurting me... I won't scream or fight back. I promise... Just please stop." Glenn begged in a shaking voice as he forced himself to hold still in hopes that doing so would make all of this end sooner. Tim's hand still squeezed painfully between his legs as the man leaned forward and further pinned the boy against the counter with his own larger body. Glenn could hardly believe this was even really happening to him. Things like this weren't supposed to ever be real experiences. They were meant to be scary stories - awful things that happened to someone else, but never to him. He never really considered how he'd escape a situation like this, because he figured he would never have to. Was he supposed to fight with all his might and hope to escape? Or was he supposed to cooperate and hope his attackers would at least let him live in the end?

Glenn felt tears filling his eyes as his lower lip trembled while he held as still as he could, as his abuser had requested. Tim still wasn't letting go. His painful, humiliating grip remained and he even began moving his fingers slightly back and forth while he loomed threateningly over his captive, but said nothing. At this point, Glenn didn't know what to do. Fighting back and screaming made the guy more angry. Holding still and being silent meant Tim would continue his assault unchallenged...

"Please stop," Glenn begged in a breathless voice, shaking slightly as he was unable to hold back his tears. "You're hurting me. Please... I'm not fighting anymore. Please let go." He was practically sobbing and couldn't control his panicked breaths.

Tim squeezed his hand harder and pushed his other hand more firmly against the back of Glenn's head. "Shut your god damned mouth, or I'll make you use it."

Glenn wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but he didn't want to find out. "Please let me go," he said in a whisper, hoping his tone was soft enough to not further anger his attacker, whose hand was still gripping him painfully in a very humiliating way over the too-thin fabric of his undershorts. "I won't say anything to Merle. I promise..."

"You won't say anything to Merle anyway. Not if you don't want this to hurt," Tim threatened. "Shut your mouth. Stop crying. Don't fucking fight me anymore. Just hold still and shut up, and I won't hurt you. It's not that fucking hard to understand."

"You're already hurting me," he reminded his attacker in a small, shaking voice.

Tim laughed. "No I'm not. But if you don't shut up, I'll show you what real pain feels like. Hold still and be good, and we'll go easy on you. Okay?"

Glenn shook his head and fought the urge to cry as his throat begin feeling tight and his lungs felt very much like they were overworked. He almost felt dizzy as panic filled his chest. He had to get out of here... but he couldn't, and fighting back was only going to make things worse. He didn't know what to do. He'd never felt so trapped and terrified in his entire life. He wished he was still with his parents. His dad wouldn't have ever let something like this happen to him. His dad made sure Glenn always felt safe, but Glenn didn't have a dad anymore. He had no one.

"This is probably going to hurt though," Tim added with a chuckle as he finally loosened his tight grip between Glenn's legs but didn't move his hand away. "You're pretty tiny... But I promise I'll be as careful as I can. If you scream or fight any more than you already have, I'm going to hurt you on purpose. You understand?"

Glenn felt his lower lip trembling as tears pooled in his eyes. He was so scared. His instincts told him to keep fighting and to scream as loudly as possible so that Merle might hear him and come save him, but a big part of him believed this man when he said Glenn refusing to cooperate would only make things worse. What if Merle really didn't care about Glenn and only wanted his supplies? What if Merle even knew these men might do something like this, but didn't care just because he knew he'd still get his trade items?

The way Glenn considered it, calling out to Merle could have two results: 1. Merle would care, but he'd be outnumbered and one of these three men would kill him, as they said they would... or 2. Merle wouldn't care, and would even be angry with Glenn for making his trade group angry. Calling out for help would either get Merle killed, or confirm to Glenn that the man didn't care about him at all, or maybe even wanted for this to happen. Either way, Tim would be angry with him for screaming and would probably hurt him worse too. The last thing Glenn wanted was for this to be even worse than what he already feared.

"Do you understand?" Tim repeated in a louder voice as he squeezed between Glenn's legs again in a painful grip and pushed his head harder down against the table. "Hold still, shut up, and let me do what I want, or I'm going to hurt you really, really bad."

Inhaling shaking breaths and attempting to swallow even with his throat feeling drier and drier with each passing second, Glenn tried to nod, but couldn't move his head under Tim's grip. He felt tears running down his cheeks and his body shaking as he couldn't bring himself to offer a verbal response.

"I think he gets it, Tim," one of the other men spoke up. "Let's just do this. We've got to get a move on. I want to get back before it gets dark."

"We could take him with us," the other man suggested. "Then we won't have to worry about time or even being careful."

"Merle would see. We'll just do it here. Just, let's go... If we're gonna do this, let's do it. We don't have all night," the first man noted.

"Alright. You heard the man," Tim spoke above Glenn and moved his hand carefully over the boy's hair as he ran his other hand up toward Glenn waist. "Remember not to fight. I can hurt you as much as I need to. Don't make me."

As Glenn fully realized there was no way he could overpower this man or appeal to his companions, he choked out a small sob and squeezed his eyes shut tighter. There was nothing he could do to save himself from these men, and no one who cared about him enough to come to his rescue was alive anymore. Would Merle even care about this? As long as they didn't kill Glenn and the man got the things he had come for, Merle would probably be happy. There was no one left in this world who would keep Glenn safe. No one but himself... and he was clearly not strong enough...

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	14. Blame it on the Apocalypse

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Chapter 14

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Merle exhaled as he impatiently watched the front of the gas station convenience store Glenn had gone into. The guys who were meant to pick up the supplies from Glenn and give the kid back the stuff Merle requested had gone into the shop several minutes ago and no one had come back out.

So far, Merle hadn't heard any commotion, but trading with these people usually never took longer than thirty seconds. What were they doing in there?

The longer he stared at the front of the store, and the longer nothing happened, the more concerned he felt. He really didn't know any of his trade groups that well. Any of them could decide to take advantage of the fact that they were trading with a defenseless child. It wouldn't be that surprising. Even with the groups having been civil towards Merle thus far, he couldn't say it would be a shock if they chose to use Glenn's weaknesses against him. It was survival after all - the strong took things from the weak. That's why there were so few weak people left.

With a frustrated sigh, Merle made his way down the stairs and to the ground floor. Maybe Glenn and Merle's acquaintances were just chatting. Maybe they were all double-checking that the things they requested were indeed included in the trade... or maybe they were trying to take advantage of the fact that Glenn couldn't do much if they decided to try to screw him over.

Merle held his gun in his hand as he crossed the street and headed toward the store. This group hadn't ever tried to screw him over yet, but it wasn't surprising for anyone these days to see an opportunity to get ahead and take it. Sending Glenn on these trades was probably never a good idea. Hardly anyone would see a little kid like that and not use the given opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Even Merle couldn't deny that he'd do the same thing. If he spotted a little kid with a bunch of supplies, he'd have probably scared the kid into giving all of it to him for nothing... But he was Merle, and Glenn worked for him, so if anyone did that to Glenn, Merle was going to be pissed. Screwing over random people was fine by Merle. Screwing over Merle was not. If these guys tried to cheat him out of fucking anything, he was going to shoot them.

As Merle approached the shop, he frowned. The closer he got, the more he could hear. Even though he hadn't noticed any sounds of distress coming from the building when he was up on the rooftop across the street, he could certainly hear them now. It sounded like the small group of men were all speaking to each other in hushed tones and Merle could make out the distinct sound of Glenn's soft sobbing.

"Be gentle, Tim," a voice spoke. It sounded like the group's leader, John. "The rest of us aren't gonna want to screw a mangled little corpse."

Glenn let out another choked sob as Merle quickened his pace and burst through the door. "Hey! Get the fuck off him," Merle growled as he took in the scene before him and pointed his gun threateningly toward Tim, who had Glenn bent over and pinned against the front counter. The boy's jeans were pulled down to his knees and Tim was reaching for his boxer shorts with one hand and holding him down with his other hand against the back of Glenn's head as the man looked over toward Merle with a slightly shocked expression on his face.

Glenn's dark eyes were wide as he stared up at Merle and his arms shook as he struggled to escape from Tim's harsh grip. "Merle! Help me," he whimpered in a heartbreakingly weak voice. He had a cut on his lip with blood running down his chin and tears streaming down his cheeks as he sucked in desperate, shaking breaths. "Merle, make him stop!" Glenn begged. "Please!"

"Merle," John laughed nervously and took a step forward. "Thought you were just sending your little buddy to do this stuff now... Your supplies are right here. We're just playing around with him real quick. We could even take him off your hands for good if you're tired of taking care of him." He reached over toward a paper bag on the counter. "It's all in there."

"Let him go," Merle said again, very annoyed that John thought Merle would even consider just taking the trade items and leaving this kid with them. "We gave you the shit you asked for. Take it and leave or I'm gonna fucking shoot you." Of course, Merle wanted to kill all three of them whether they gave in or not at this point, but killing all three without getting himself or Glenn hurt in the process seemed unlikely. None of the three men had their weapons out right now, but Merle knew they were probably all armed. He could even see the gun on John's belt. The best way out of this for the moment was to get these men to willingly back off and leave. A shootout could likely end badly for every one of them.

"You gonna shoot all three of us?" The group's other member, Jake spoke up with a small smirk as he put his hand on his own belt, probably preparing himself to grab his gun if he felt he needed to. He was usually pretty quiet. Merle never would have guessed he was into this kind of stuff, and maybe he wasn't, but he was at the very least enabling it.

"Maybe not, but I'll definitely get at least one of ya," Merle glared back at him. He looked back at Glenn and Tim as another small, pained wince sounded from that direction. "Get off of him, Tim," Merle warned. "I don't want to kill you guys, but this wasn't part of the trade."

"We'll be careful," Tim breathed out. He sounded somewhat out of breath, which made Merle want to shoot him even more. "You can have him back when we're done. It's not gonna take long, and he can handle it. He won't be any different when we give him back. I'm gonna go slow. It won't be so bad."

"If it's not so bad, why don't y'all just fuck each other then?" Merle growled, tightening his grip on his gun and quickly losing what little patience he possessed.

Tim laughed and shook his head as he focused back on Glenn, pushing his hand more firmly against the back of the boy's head so that Glenn's cheek was pressed against the counter. "Hold still," he ordered as he put his other hand on Glenn's thigh, causing the boy to whimper and flinch back as much as Tim's close proximity allowed.

"Tim," Merle spoke in a low voice, fighting the urge to just start shooting and hope for the best. "Get off of him."

"Come on, Merle... Can't you share?" Tim laughed.

"He's a god damn little boy, you sick son of a bitch," Merle reminded the man as he shook his head in disappointment. He honestly had never guessed that these men would do something like this. They'd always seemed so normal... But then, he'd never seen them around women or kids. Maybe they did this kind of thing to anyone they met who wasn't strong enough to fight back.

"The rules of the world are different now, Merle," John cut in. "There's no laws anymore. People just take what they want if they can, and if they can't, they hope for the best. Survival of the fittest. It's the end of the world. You gotta get this kinda stuff where you can. You might not be this desperate yet, but give it another month or so and you'll see what I mean. We'll give him back to you after and before long you'll probably be doing the same thing we're doing. It's hard to resist when you haven't seen a woman that's not rotting and covered in someone else's blood in two or three months. Sure, he's a kid, but things just aren't how they used to be. Not my fault. The way things are going now, it'd be weird if a kid grew to adulthood at all, much less completely untouched. Just don't think about it like that, and it'll be the best choice you ever made."

"Don't think about it like what?" Merle growled, "like raping a little kid? Ain't no length of not coming across any women's gonna turn me into a rapist. Especially not a little boy rapist. If you're into this kinda shit, it's not 'cause the world's ending. Don't blame this on the apocalypse, you twisted piece of shit. There's something god damned wrong with you."

John stared back at him. "Aww... come on, Merle. Why do you care? You adopting this kid or something? Wanting to play daddy to some fucking kid you don't even know? Is this some kinda weird kink? Why do you give a damn what we do to? Just let us have our fun. Either leave for ten minutes or get in line. Either way you can have him back after. We won't kill him or hurt him too bad. He'll still be able to be your little errand boy or whatever the fuck you want him for. You won't lose a damn thing. We found him first anyway."

Glenn winced again as he attempted to squirm out of Tim's grip and caused the man to push him down against the counter harder. "Don't let them hurt me, Merle. Please!" the boy begged as he continued to uselessly struggle against the man who had him pinned down. "I'll do whatever you want! Anything you need help with, I'll do it. I'll do anything, Merle. I won't complain or cry or be scared... Please don't let them do this... Merle, don't let them..." The boy sucked in a shaking, frantic breath before continuing in a quick, desperate tone. "I'll do anything! Please! Merle! Don't let them... I just wanna go home... You don't have to let me stay with you. Just don't let them hurt me. Make them stop, Merle. Make him let me go. Please... Please!" It didn't take long for Glenn's desperate, rambling words to dissolve into pathetic sobs again.

"Calm down, Glenn," Merle suggested. The kid panicking and fighting against this guy wasn't going to do him any good. If anything, Tim was going to end up getting pissed off and hurting him worse. It was in the boy's best interest to just hold still, shut up, and let Merle take care of this. He looked back at John, who seemed to perhaps be the one he needed to convince in order to get the others to back off. "I ain't gonna stand here and let you all rape this little boy, no matter what you say. It don't matter whose kid he is. Don't matter if he's workin' for me or not. Obviously if you find a little kid all alone and your first thought is that you've got a free pass to rape him, there's something fucking wrong with you. Don't matter who 'found him first.' Don't matter that you can rape kids now 'cause there ain't no laws. Most people had more than a law stopping them from doing this shit. I ain't letting you do this. Let him go, right now," Merle demanded of Tim once more. "I ain't askin' again."

John exhaled and shrugged. "It's really not your business what we do... But we'll give you something extra if you just shut up and leave this alone, even though we don't owe you anything. We've got a little mini grill. It's gas powered. We've got a couple extra canisters of the gas for it and everything. It's real nice. We'll take this little guy out of your hair, and you can have that. It's a win-win for you if you aren't even getting any fun out of him. Sounds like all he is to you is an extra responsibility."

Merle stared at John. He couldn't believe he was even having this conversation. Of course he wasn't going to give these people a child for them to molest in exchange for a fucking grill.

"Just relax, little guy," Tim's voice was a low whisper as he petted the back of Glenn's head and started tugging down his undershorts. Glenn let out a shaking sob and squeezed his eyes shut. "It won't hurt too bad if you stop freaking out, and you'll be making me very happy," Tim told him. He seemed to have decided against continuing to ask for Merle's permission and was just going to continue his assault on the poor kid even with Merle right there pointing a gun at him.

If these men thought Merle was bluffing and that he wouldn't do everything in his power to keep them from carrying out this sick fantasy, they were fatally wrong. Merle felt a growl in his throat as he aimed his gun at Tim and pulled the trigger without a second thought. At this point, he didn't have any other choice. He hit Tim right in the head and then moved the gun toward John, who had raised his hands in defense as he stared at Merle with wide eyes.

John opened his mouth to say something, but Merle didn't have time to hear him out. Jake was still a loose end. If Merle gave John a chance to plead his case, he'd also be giving Jake a chance to do something. So Merle fired a shot into John's skull as well and then turned the gun on Jake.

"No no no no no!" Jake gasped as he raised his hands similarly to how John had and took a few stumbling steps backwards, nearly tripping over a piece of shelving discarded on the floor. "I'm sorry! Merle... I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean any harm... I won't try anything. I swear... I wasn't gonna do anything. I didn't do anything. I didn't touch him, and I wasn't going to... I swear!"

Merle narrowed his eyes at Jake, remembering how the guy didn't seem to give a damn that his friend was about to brutally assault a little twelve year old right in front of him.

"Just calm down, okay?" Jake exhaled, keeping his hands raised. "Just take him and go. I won't come after you guys... I wasn't gonna do anything... Tim's a pervert. Not me."

It was difficult for Merle to consider Jake's words to be genuine considering he'd been standing back and content to watch as his friend sexually assaulted a child. Jake was just as guilty as Tim, even if he truly wasn't going to do anything himself. He was enabling it at the very least. He didn't deserve to live, and if Merle granted him that mercy, the guy could very well seek revenge for his fallen friends.

Shaking his head, Merle stared into the man's eyes. It wasn't like Merle enjoyed killing, but he saw no other solution to this problem. Jake couldn't be left alone after all that. It would put Merle and Glenn in unnecessary danger. Without any more hesitation Merle fired one last shot, hitting Jake between the eyes. The man made a strange grunting sound and fell down onto the ground with a thud.

Exhaling, Merle focused his attention back on Glenn, who Tim's body had fallen on top of. The boy whimpered as he struggled to crawl out from under the man while also awkwardly dangling off of the counter top. Merle rushed to his aid, pulling Tim's body off of him and helping him down.

Glenn immediately shrunk away from Merle's hands and was visibly shaking as he cowered down. He looked up at Merle as though half-expecting the man to attack him, but he said nothing and made no move to run.

"You okay, kid?" Merle frowned as he looked down at the boy.

Glenn swallowed a lump in his throat and stared back without answering.

With an exhale, Merle continued observing the kid. He supposed they'd have time to assess his injuries, if he had any significant ones, later. For now, they needed to get going before they didn't have the option to anymore. All that noise would have surely attracted the attention of the dead. "We gotta get out of here, Glenn," Merle spoke as he looked nervously out the broken windows of the store's front. "Ain't no way those gunshots didn't start a shit ton of walkers headed in this direction."

Glenn quickly reached down and pulled his jeans back up with shaking hands and grabbed the paper bag Merle had sent him in for before staring up at Merle with wide eyes, waiting for the man to lead the way.

Merle frowned as he looked down at the boy, who seemed to be in some sort of state of shock. Glenn stared silently back, his eyes huge and his whole body trembling as he hugged the bag John's group had given him against his chest as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Merle looked around the space, noticing an unzipped backpack and the bag of supplies he'd sent Glenn in with lying on the ground. There was no reason not to take that stuff since it was right here. He grabbed up both, stuffing the bag into the backpack and holding the backpack by one of it's straps as he turned back toward his young companion.

Observing the kid, Merle felt awful and maybe even a bit guilty. He'd sent Glenn in here to meet up with three rapists all so Merle could have some damn pills and cigars he absolutely did not need. He wanted to ask Glenn if these were the same men who had killed his cousin. He wanted to ask him if he was alright and demand an actual answer... but there was no time. They needed to get someplace safe before they could dwell on smaller injuries. Glenn seemed uninjured enough on the surface. The rest didn't matter just yet. So Merle reached out and grabbed the boy's arm. "Come on," he ordered.

Glenn winced and pulled his arm back.

It seemed more like a pained wince than a frightened one. "Are you hurt?" Merle frowned.

Glenn shook his head. "I don't know... I don't want to be here... Let's just go." His small voice was shaking and almost frantic as he looked around at the bodies of the three men who'd attacked him. "I want to go, Merle."

Merle nodded. "Alright... You okay to run?" he wondered.

"Yeah," Glenn breathed in a shaking breath and held the paper bag of supplies tightly against his chest as though it was the most important thing in the world to him. "Can we please just go?" His words trembled and he had tears in his eyes.

"Alright." Merle put his hand carefully on Glenn's back just so he could keep track of the boy and be sure he didn't fall behind. The two of them stepped around the still-warm bodies of Glenn's attackers, made their way out of the store, and started running back toward the funeral home.

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	15. Lines Drawn

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Chapter 15

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Neither of them talked as Glenn and Merle ran back toward what had become a makeshift home for both of them. They mostly avoided any walkers they came into contact with along their route. The entire way back, Merle only killed four, which was far fewer than usual. While he usually killed them for entertainment and as a way to try to do his part to lower their population, he didn't figure he'd waste time on killing any but the ones he had to this time. Glenn was clearly injured, and even more traumatized. He needed to get the kid back someplace safe as soon as possible.

They finally made it back to the funeral home after what seemed like forever. Glenn only waited until he was just inside the door before he sunk down onto the floor. On his knees, he slumped down, inhaling and exhaling quick, shaking breaths. He still hugged the paper sack of supplies Merle had sent him into the store to trade for. Merle wasn't sure the kid even realized he was still holding onto it. It made no sense for him to feel so protective over it.

"You alright, Glenn?" Merle frowned as he tossed the backpack he'd taken from the deceased down to the floor so that it was slumped against the wall near the door. He stared down at Glenn, who wasn't looking back. He was covered in Tim's blood, mostly on the back of his shirt and his neck, but some of it had run down onto the front of his shirt as well. He was shaking as he knelt down on the ground and didn't answer Merle's question.

Exhaling, Merle headed toward the building's kitchen and looked around his stash for an extra shirt. He didn't have much in the way of clothing, and certainly had nothing that was going to fit Glenn, but he didn't want to boy to have to wear the blood-soaked shirt he was wearing now. Merle grabbed up a plain white t-shirt out of a bag he had been keeping in case someone wanted to trade him something better for it. It was an adult size medium, so it was going to be big on the kid, but it was better than nothing. He took the second shirt out of the bag and poured some water from one of his gallon jugs onto it before heading back to the hall where Glenn remained.

As he walked into the small foyer, he heard hands thudding against the door along with the moaning and groaning of the undead. A somewhat large group of walkers had followed them back and had seemed to have caught up with the door by now. Glenn didn't even seem to notice or care about the noise. Merle would have expected him to be needlessly frightened, even with the thick, heavy door securely closed and locked.

"Glenn," Merle said his name again. "You're covered in blood. You realize that, right?" The boy didn't respond. Instead, he stared down at the floor and breathed in and out deep, shaking breaths. "Hey. Glenn. I know you don't want to be covered in blood all night. Wanna get cleaned up?" Merle asked in a louder voice. "I can help you," he added reluctantly.

Glenn looked up at him. His lower lip was trembling and he still hadn't said anything since they'd left the gas station.

Merle slowly knelt down in front of the boy so he could see him better and decide how to deal with this. He hoped Glenn would get over this quickly, but couldn't quite blame the poor kid for being absolutely traumatized and terrified. Considering only the part of this ordeal that Merle had actually witnessed, he wasn't surprised by Glenn's reaction right now. The poor kid had been cornered by three men, each at least twice his size, and all three of them had threatened him with physical and sexual violence. And of course the one guy, Tim, was actually in the process of attempting to rape him when Merle, fortunately, stopped him from doing so. Merle had been through all sorts of rough, violent shit during his own childhood, but he could gladly say nothing quite as horrific as that had ever happened to him.

Merle was not a gentle person and never had been. He wasn't kind or caring or empathetic. He wasn't one to feel sorry for people or to want to help anyone with anything when it didn't benefit himself, so the concern and care he felt for Glenn right now was an entirely foreign feeling he couldn't quite make sense of. Even so, he decided to not push those feelings away just yet.

With one hand, he reached out and carefully took the paper bag of supplies out of Glenn's hands, setting it off to the side while he held his other hand out with the wet cloth and moved it carefully toward Glenn's face. "Can I?" he asked, not wanting Glenn to freak out by Merle overstepping any boundaries. Considering how unresponsive Glenn was being, Merle didn't quite know how on-edge the kid might be. For all he knew, reaching toward the boy at all could result in him flipping out.

Glenn nodded and stared at Merle with wide eyes as the man cleaned the dried blood off of his lip and chin first before moving down to his neck to clean Tim's blood away. All the while, Glenn said nothing. He only stared silently, carefully watching Merle's every move and shaking slightly under the man's touch.

"It's all over your shirt, kid," Merle told him. "I got you a clean one." He gestured toward the shirt he'd tossed onto the floor a foot or so away. He didn't want to ask Glenn to take off his shirt, not after what he'd just experienced, but he did assume Glenn would want to get Tim's dried blood off of his back and chest before changing, and he'd likely need help with that considering they had no shower and the boy's arm seemed to be injured. Hopefully he would be willing to take off the bloody shirt without Merle having to ask.

Glenn still trembled as he stared back at Merle and made no move to do anything other than inhale shaking breaths and lightly bite his own lip.

"I assume you don't want to keep wearing that son of a bitch's crusty blood all night," Merle noted when Glenn didn't seem to have gotten the hint. "You gotta start functioning more than a statue at some point, Glenn," Merle reminded him.

Looking down, Glenn frowned before starting to take the shirt off. He quickly winced and dropped the material. "I think my shoulder's dislocated," he said in a small, pained voice. Fresh tears sprung to his eyes as he pouted with a trembling lower-lip. He looked so painfully young as he stared up at Merle while cowering down slightly away from him.

"Can I see?" Merle asked him, pushing his sleeve up carefully when Glenn didn't refuse the offer. He felt the boy's shoulder with gentle hands, noting that it did seem dislocated. Merle had fixed this same injury on himself and his brother several times during their childhood. It wasn't a big deal at all in his eyes, and hardly even painful compared to some of the more serious injuries he and Daryl had suffered. "I can fix it," Merle offered. "It'll only hurt bad for a minute."

Glenn shook his head and pulled his arm back as he silently stared at Merle with wide, frightened eyes. He hugged the limb with his other arm and shrunk down, refusing to give Merle the access he needed to help the kid.

"It's not a big deal," Merle insisted as he reached out toward Glenn's arm again. "I've had much worse in my day and fixed 'em all by myself half the time. This'll be easy and you'll be feeling better pretty quick after it's done."

"No," Glenn refused, shrinking down further.

"God damn it... I've had dislocated shoulders that I fixed my fucking self!" Merle growled, noticing that the volume of his voice was increasing along with his agitation. He exhaled as he tried to rid himself of building frustration. He didn't blame the kid for being scared, but the fact that he could easily help Glenn and the kid wasn't letting him was starting to piss him off. "Listen... I know it hurts. I ain't a doctor... You're scared I'm gonna fuck it up worse or somethin', but look," he rotated his own shoulders. "I fixed 'em on myself before. Don't even remember which shoulder it was either time. That's how well I fixed 'em. I know what I'm doing... You're just gonna have to trust me."

Glenn's lower lip trembled as he stared back at Merle with tears shining in his eyes. He clearly didn't trust that Merle truly was capable of fixing his injury.

"Come on," Merle gestured his hand out as a way to request for Glenn to stop cowering down away from him and allow the man to give him the medical attention he needed. "You gotta let me fix it or it's gonna be fucked up forever.

Frowning, Glenn looked down at his arm and then back up at Merle. "Is it going to hurt?" he asked, even though Merle had just told him that it would.

Merle nodded. "A little. But only for a second. Sooner you let me help you, the sooner it can start healing." Glenn still looked uncertain and was visibly shaking. "I ain't gonna hurt you on purpose, Glenn," Merle assured him. "I'll just pop it back in place. It'll hurt for a second because it has to, but I'm not gonna be violent or anything."

Glenn hesitated, swallowing nervously before finally nodding. "Okay," the boy agreed and stared intently at Merle as the man set to work. Glenn winced a sharp breath as Merle held onto the boy's thin arm securely and quickly but carefully popped it back into place.

"See? That wasn't so hard, right?" Merle offered the boy a small smile as he clapped him lightly on his other arm.

"Yeah..." Glenn's voice was still small as he carefully moved his arm very minimally, seemingly afraid to move it any more than necessary.

"Feel any better?" Merle wondered. "I got painkillers... A lot of 'em. They're fuckin' good ones too," he offered. "I think we should get you cleaned up first though, okay? You'll be as good as new in ten minutes."

Glenn nodded and started taking his shirt off again, taking care not to move his hurt arm much.

Merle cautiously reached out and helped Glenn shrug out of the shirt. If he showed any indication that he wanted Merle to back off, Merle would certainly do so. He didn't want to overstep any boundaries, but he didn't want the poor kid to have to practically beg for Merle's help either.

"You want my help with this?" Merle asked as he held up the wet rag he'd just used to clean the blood off Glenn's face and neck. "You can do it yourself if you'd rather, but I don't mind helping you if you want me to."

Glenn swallowed and looked down at the dried blood crusted over his chest. Even more was on his back. There was no way he would be able to reach it properly with one arm injured.

"I ain't up to anything," Merle promised him. "If you want me to, I'll just quickly get the blood off and help you into a clean shirt. That's it. Nothin' bad. I ain't like those perverts back there. I promise you that."

Glenn bit his lower lip and then finally nodded. He watched Merle very closely as the man cleaned the dried blood off of his chest with gentle hands. Merle frowned when he noticed the beginning of bruises forming on Glenn's ribs. One of the men must have hit him there - seemingly more than once too. It certainly wouldn't have taken much to subdue this little kid, which made the obvious violence of the injuries even more heartbreaking. Merle hoped the boy's ribs weren't broken, but there wasn't anything he could do to heal them anyway, so didn't even bring it up.

Merle put his free hand on Glenn's shoulder - his way of showing the kid that he didn't mean any harm - as he moved around to clean off the blood that had soaked through the back of his shirt. He leaned in fairly close to the boy so he could see his back, close enough in fact that he could feel Glenn's faint breaths on his chest as he worked on clearing away the mess Tim's bloody corpse had left behind.

As Merle wiped away the crusty bits of blood, he felt Glenn reach his hand up and grab onto Merle's. He could feel Glenn shaking, and hoped it wasn't out of any fear of Merle. He was taking so much care in being gentle - something he was absolutely not practiced in. He didn't want Glenn to fear him, but he acknowledged that he had been less than gentle with the boy over the past few days. He wouldn't blame Glenn for being nervous.

"I made quite a fuckin' mess hm? At least it's not your blood though, right?" Merle forced a raspy laugh, trying to lighten the mood as he moved the wet rag carefully over Glenn's skin.

Glenn inhaled a shaking breath, but didn't react at all to Merle's words as he squeezed the man's hand tighter and avoided eye contact. Merle could feel the kid's body literally trembling as he seemed to be fighting to hold back tears. As Merle continued clearing away the blood, he heard Glenn sniff back tears and felt the boy lean his forehead forward against Merle's collar bone. He wished the kid could just forget about all this and move on. He understood why Glenn was upset, but dealing with a traumatized child was pretty awkward for someone like Merle, who was used to not giving a damn about anyone but himself.

"Won't ever have to worry about those sick fuckers ever again," Merle went on, still trying to make this less awful by joking around as best as he could. "The one good thing about the apocalypse. I get to take out the trash without involving the police. Leave their bodies where they fall and move on. At least there's that. If nothing else-"

Merle halted in mid-sentence when, without warning, Glenn moved forward, wrapping his uninjured arm around Merle's back in some sort of hug as he let out a small, shaking sob and buried his face against the man's chest.

"Oh..." Merle frowned as he looked down at the kid whose face was entirely hidden by Merle's shirt as he cried shaking, pitiful sobs. Merle swallowed nervously. He wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't one to comfort kids, or anyone really... The people he knew and gave a damn about were older and never so vulnerable or emotional. Even when he and Daryl were young and Merle would comfort his little brother after one of their father's drunken tirades or physical assaults, Daryl never cried and clung to him like this.

Merle had never allowed himself to grow to give a damn about someone like Glenn - someone so small and sheltered, with such fragile emotions and an even more fragile physical being. Glenn was the type of kid who didn't normally have violent, terrible things happen to him. Merle could tell. Ordinarily, Merle would have had no sympathy for someone like that - someone who'd had a good life and was just now finally getting a taste of what everyone else always had to suffer through... But he couldn't bring himself to not feel pity towards this kid. It wasn't Glenn's fault he hadn't ever been forced to be tough before any more than it was Merle's fault that his own childhood sucked. Glenn hadn't deserved what those men did to him. Not even a little. He was a naive, weak, sheltered little kid, but a kind soul who deserved better.

As the two of them remained still in this position, Glenn's sobs increased as he clung desperately to Merle.

"It's okay..." Merle spoke in an uncertain voice as he gently attempted to pull Glenn off of him. The boy held on tightly and continued to cry. Merle didn't have the heart to be more forceful in prying the kid away, so he stopped trying. "Don't cry... You're uh - It's okay now... You're alright," Merle assured him in as gentle a voice as he could muster as he contemplated whether to hug the kid back or just keep his hands raised awkwardly.

Glenn's shoulders shook as he sobbed and held on tight to Merle. "I didn't do anything wrong." The boy's muffled voice trembled between sobs. "I don't know why this happened. Why did they want to hurt me? Why did they hate me so much? I didn't even do anything wrong," he repeated.

Merle put his hand carefully and hesitantly against the kid's back. Glenn's skin felt cold and he was shaking. "I know..." Merle frowned. It was kind of heartbreaking that Glenn's first instinct was to try to rationalize these men choosing to attack him. He could only make sense of the situation if he could see that he did something to cause or deserve it. He clearly had more faith in humanity than Merle did if he was surprised by people taking advantage of the small, young, and weak for no other reason than because they could.

"I didn't do anything," Glenn sobbed again. "I wanted to scream at them and not do the trade at all. I wanted to just leave. I wanted to hit them and be mean. I didn't though. I was being nice to everyone, even when they didn't deserve it. I was just gonna do the trade like I said I would and then go, but they wouldn't let me. I didn't even do anything..." His voice shook with every word as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"You didn't, Glenn," Merle agreed, hugging the kid back as Glenn refused to let go and continued crying into the man's chest. "There doesn't have to be anything wrong with you for sick creeps like that to take advantage of a situation. You can't wonder what you did wrong, because you'll be wondering forever. There's somethin' wrong with them, not you. You didn't do anything. People like that would'a hurt anyone they could get away with hurting. There's nothin' else to try to understand about it."

"I was really mad," Glenn whimpered in a shaking voice. "I was grumpy and demanding and didn't want to talk to them. I just wanted to take the stuff and go. Maybe I wasn't nice enough. I made them mad at me. The one man was saying terrible, gross things... and I was so mad. He must have been able to tell. I should've been nicer."

Merle shook his head. He couldn't believe Glenn was blaming himself for this on any level. "Even if you went in there and called 'em all faggots and kicked 'em in the crotch, they shouldn't'a done that to you, Glenn. I doubt you was even mean. I don't think you're fuckin' capable of it. But even if you was, that doesn't give adult men the right to try to force that shit on you. You're a little kid. They know that. They know they ain't supposed to do that shit."

"I-" Glenn inhaled another shaking breath and began loudly sobbing again as he seemed to be trying to say more, but never got past the first syllable before more sobs overtook him. "I-" He tried again only to break down into sobs once more. He shook his head as he gasped for breaths and continued trying to get out whatever he was trying to say. "I was so..." He whimpered and choked out another soft sob. "I was so scared... I just-"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Merle assured him again, moving his hand gently over Glenn's back. The boy wasn't wearing a shirt, and while Merle didn't want to scare him, he also didn't want to refuse to embrace the kid who quite clearly needed physical comfort. Glenn didn't seem to mind Merle's hand directly on his skin, so Merle didn't avoid the contact. "And whatever they did, or said they were gonna do... It's over now, and they can't do anything else... So... you're alright now. You don't got to worry or be scared or sad or any of that shit. It's done. You're okay."

"I wanted to go-" More shaking tears wracked the boy's shoulders as he took in trembling breaths. "to- to go home... I w-wanted my dad," Glenn whimpered. "I just-" He in-took another few breaths "I just wanted my dad..."

Merle nodded. "I'm sure your dad would'a done anything he could to keep you safe, Glenn," he spoke. He didn't know the man, and still judged him a bit for agreeing to send his son from Michigan to Atlanta during a zombie apocalypse, but he chose not to outwardly judge in favor of telling Glenn something that would be comforting instead.

Glenn sniffed back tears and finally began speaking more coherently again. "I kept telling him to stop... The guy who was hurting me... I told him to stop. I begged him and begged and begged... and he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't stop," Glenn's muffled voice trembled as he kept his face hidden in Merle's shirt and gripped at the back of the man's shirt with his fingers. "And none of his friends would make him stop. I couldn't even fight back because he grabbed me really hard and said he'd hurt me even more. I was really scared. It was so embarrassing. He put his hand right-" Glenn paused and Merle felt a shudder go through his shoulders. "Right where he shouldn't have... In a private place, where people aren't supposed to touch each other unless they're grownups... Like actual grown-ups... He knew I'd be scared. He knew he wasn't supposed to touch me there. That's why he did it. To scare me. To get me to stop fighting back. And I did stop, but he wouldn't."

Merle's chest felt cold as Glenn continued to describe this in more detail than the man had ever asked for. It seemed like Glenn mostly just wanted to get the ordeal out of his head. Even if Merle didn't want to hear the details, he owed it to the poor kid to listen.

"I wasn't even fighting back anymore, and he didn't stop," Glenn sucked in a shaking breath and hugged Merle tighter. "I was just gonna let him do whatever he wanted just so he wouldn't hurt me anymore, but he was hurting me anyway. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared..."

"It's over now," Merle reminded him again. He was going to keep a better watch over the boy from now on - assuming the kid would even want to stay with him after all this. Nothing like that was ever going to happen to him ever again - not on Merle's watch.

"None of his friends cared. They all wanted to hurt me. They talked about leaving and taking me with them," Glenn told him as his sobs started to die down and were replaced with the occasional sniff and tremble. "Maybe they would have killed me."

Merle frowned as he looked down at the top of the boy's head. They weren't going to kill him. They would have made him wish they did though.

"I don't know why someone would want to hurt someone else for no reason," Glenn spoke as he finally loosened the grip he had on the back of Merle's shirt and pulled back a bit with an exhale and a sniff. "Sorry," he added as he looked down at his lap, seemingly embarrassed about his sudden emotional breakdown.

"That's okay." Merle shook his head as he stared down at the boy.

"I'm just glad it's over," Glenn said in a small voice. "I was really scared... but you're right. It's over now. It's over, and I'm okay. They didn't really hurt me much. It's done. They're gone..."

"I didn't know they were like that, Glenn," Merle assured him as he finished cleaning up the blood on the boy's back and helped Glenn pull the clean shirt down over his head. "I wouldn't have sent you in there if I knew that was gonna happen. You know that, right?"

Glenn shrugged and avoided eye contact.

"Do you want to go into the other room?" Merle offered. "You can stay on the floor here if you want... but I doubt it's very comfortable."

Glenn nodded and followed Merle into the kitchen first, so Merle could get some pain pills and water for Glenn, and then into room where the funerals used to be held. The boy sat down on the couch he'd claimed the day before and looked down at his lap.

"Are those the guys you and your cousin ran into? They the ones who killed Sam?" Merle finally asked him as he looked down at the prescription bottle in his hand and tried to figure out how much to give to the kid. Glenn would require a far smaller dose than what Merle usually took to get high. It would also probably knock him out within the hour. It was pretty strong - most likely stronger than Glenn needed, but he'd probably appreciate the sleep.

"Yeah," Glenn answered. "The one who was hurting me tried to do it before too, I think. Sam stopped him. I think I know what he was gonna do, but I don't want to know for sure."

Merle nodded slightly. He knew for damn sure what those men were going to do. They found a tiny, defenseless person whose body could offer them something they felt they'd been missing out on and they were fully ready to take advantage of that fact, no matter how cruel it would be to do so. It looked and sounded like all three of them were going to take a turn too. It wasn't quite clear how much of this Glenn understood, but he seemed to have known enough to at least be terrified and feel shame in discussing it. The boy was young, but not stupid. Merle was fairly sure the poor kid knew what was about to happen to him more than he wanted to admit.

"I was really scared," Glenn continued in a small voice. "I tried to be nice and not make them mad, even though they killed Sam. When I saw it was them, I wanted to yell at them and punch them and refuse to trade with them at all, but I didn't. I tried so hard to not cause any trouble... But they didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there... but they just wanted-" Glenn stopped himself and swallowed a lump in his throat.

Merle shook his head as he sat down next to the boy and handed Glenn a pill and an almost empty jug of water before putting his arm over the back of the couch and turning slightly toward his young companion. "Damn... I'm really sorry, kid."

"Why?" Glenn frowned as he popped the pill into his mouth and took a long drink from the jug.

"I never even thought to ask you what the guys looked like or if you caught any of their names or anything. I never considered that they could'a been one of the groups I traded with," Merle told him.

"It's okay. I never thought about that either," Glenn said. "We both could have figured that out if we thought about it, but we didn't. I guess normally a city is a big place with lots of people. Neither of us considered how small the world has gotten. You didn't know... And you came and checked on me when I took too long. You saved me from them. They could have killed you. They had a gun."

Merle nodded. They very likely had more than just one gun. Merle had risked his and Glenn's lives shooting those three men. They were lucky they were both still alive right now. With a bit less luck, Merle would have probably been shot by one of the others after shooting Tim and the two who were left would have taken Glenn and made the remainder of the boy's life a living hell.

"I'm sorry I ever sent you in there in the first place," Merle persisted. "It was dangerous. I don't really know any of the people I trade with. I was being reckless with you. I'm a cruel son of a bitch sometimes, Glenn. I gave you the option of workin' for me in exchange for me guaranteeing your safety. I never told you I was gonna be sending you off to meet up with potential rapists and killers. Every single time I sent you into a building by yourself, I was risking your life for shit I didn't even need."

"It's okay, Merle. You couldn't have known they were bad. You traded with them before, and they never did stuff like that to you. You thought it was safe," Glenn said again. "I'm just happy you didn't let them keep doing what they were doing."

Merle frowned as he watched Glenn take another long drink from the jug of water. A part of him didn't feel like he deserved the forgiveness the boy was offering him. Of course, he didn't know those men were sexual predators. He didn't know they were the guys who murdered Glenn's cousin... But he also didn't know much of anything about them - or about the other group he sent Glenn to trade with. He had simply been using the kid for his own reasons - barely caring that they might kill him and take what he brought with him. Sure, Merle could have easily shot them after, but that wouldn't do anything to give Glenn his life back. He wasn't just Merle's pawn, but that's certainly how Merle had been treating him.

"I would'a never let you go in there if I knew... I know I ain't exactly the nicest guy around," he started. He couldn't take back any of the less than kind things he'd said or done, but he could show Glenn that he didn't approve of what just happened. "I've been kinda using you, and being sort of a bastard... I ain't gonna pretend like I'm a good, generous person. I can be a downright selfish, cruel, violent son of a bitch... But I don't condone shit like that. If there's someplace I'd draw the line, that's about where it'd be."

"I was scared you wouldn't care," Glenn spoke in a very small voice as he settled down against the couch cushions and looked up toward the front of the room. "When they said they'd give you something as payment in exchange for letting them keep me, for a second I wasn't sure if you were gonna say yes."

Merle frowned. That comment was actually unexpectedly hurtful. Glenn honestly thought Merle would let three guys brutally rape him? In exchange for a grill? "How much a fuckin' asshole do you think I am, Glenn?" Merle asked with furrowed brows.

"I dunno." Glenn's voice was still very quiet. Merle could barely hear him. "You didn't seem to want to teach me how to kill geeks anymore. You weren't talking to me very much. I didn't think you liked me anymore. They said you wouldn't care as long as you got the stuff they brought. They said you didn't care about me, and I kind of believed it. I haven't been very useful, and you and I are really different. You kind of acted like you thought I was useless and not good at taking care of myself or doing much of anything. I thought you kind of just wanted me to trade stuff for you and that you didn't really care about anything else."

Shaking his head, Merle stared back at Glenn. "You and me don't know each other that well yet, but let me just assure you that I'd never let anybody do anything like that to you or to anyone else. I'm the first to admit that I can be an insensitive prick, but that's where I draw the fuckin' line. Those guys were sick bastards, and if I hadn't had to kill them, I would have killed them anyway. I felt like I had to shoot them to get them to stop, but even if I didn't have to, I would'a found a way to kill them anyway after what they tried to do."

"But now you can't trade with them anymore. The business thing you run, how are you gonna keep doing it if all the people you trade with are dead? If you would have just done what they said, you could still do trades with them and you'd have the... um... whatever they said... I can't really remember," Glenn frowned.

"It was a grill," Merle told him. "They thought I was a big enough piece of shit to trade a fucking human being for a grill. I don't want to trade with people like that, Glenn. Even if I was desperate and had to trade with them or starve to death, I wouldn't be willing to do it like that. I'm glad I killed them."

"I wish no one had to die," Glenn frowned and looked down as he drew his feet up onto the cushion and hugged his arms around his legs. "I mean... I'm glad you saved me from them... I just wish it didn't have to be like this. There's so much death in the world right now... That's all there is. It just seems like such a shame to kill somebody when there's hardly anyone left."

"No, Glenn." Merle shook his head. "Don't you feel sorry for those sick bastards. They killed your cousin. They tried to molest you. That son of a bitch was holding you down, tryin' to wrestle off your clothes, grabbing at you like a fuckin' creep. You know damn well what they were trying to do to you was so, so wrong. Even if you could'a got away without them dying, you know they would'a found another kid one day. One that wouldn't be as lucky as you. Don't you ever feel bad that they had to die. Anybody who'd try to rape a little kid deserves death. And I was more than glad to give it to 'em."

"I guess that's true... They can't hurt anyone else now..." the boy agreed.

Merle stared back at him while Glenn continued looking up toward the front of the room. He seemed to always stare toward that fixed point where a casket would have been if there were a funeral going on. The sun was setting and the room was growing darker, but Merle could still see well enough to notice bruises on Glenn's face and arms. He knew Tim or another of the men had hit the kid as evidenced by the boy's split lip, but Merle had hit him too. The darker bruise under his eye was Merle's fault. Some of the ones on his arms may have been Merle's handiwork too. Merle had absolutely not been gentle with this kid. He'd been as gentle as he could be - far more gentle than he usually was with anyone... but it was still too harsh. Glenn had been through so much recently, and even though Merle hadn't been shy about being rough and threatening toward the kid, Glenn still seemed to trust him on some level. It didn't make sense in Merle's mind. He had been so reluctant to let this little boy grow on him, but it was happening anyway.

Merle hadn't ever planned on giving a damn about this kid, so the fact that he was genuinely scared for the boy back at the gas station confused him. This wasn't just Merle wanting to keep Glenn alive so he could still use him to retrieve supplies and do trades... He was actually scared to let the kid go anywhere on his own now. The thought of something happening to the kid made him feel sick. Thinking about what Glenn would have had to suffer through if Merle hadn't gone in to check on him when he did made him want to vomit. He felt strange - maybe even protective, in a way he'd never felt about anyone... Sure, he felt somewhat similarly toward Daryl, but Daryl wasn't so small and vulnerable. Merle would do anything to keep his little brother safe, but he didn't need to worry about the younger man so much. Glenn desperately needed someone to keep him safe, and Merle had accidentally fallen into that role, whether he had intended to or not.

As Merle continued looking at Glenn with a frown, he realized that Glenn had noticed he was being watched and was looking back with a frown of his own.

Merle cleared his throat and looked away. Caring about people made him confused and uncomfortable. He had to get some air... "I'm gonna go out back and have a smoke. See ya in a bit."

"Okay..." Glenn said in a small, uncertain voice.

Merle shook his head and stood up, resisting the urge to look back as he walked out of the room. What had he gotten himself into?

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	16. Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

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Exhaling, Merle paced around by the front door of the funeral home. There were too many walkers for him to step outside and smoke there, but there was a back exit he could check out. Unfortunately, he'd misplaced his cigarettes, and knowing how the world was these days, any 'fresh air' he'd encounter outside would be weighed down by the stench of death anyway. He'd mostly left the room just to get away from Glenn though, so the foyer would do.

Merle didn't ever mean to get attached to Glenn, but he feared he might have done just that. Earlier, when he was helping the boy get cleaned up and Glenn had broken down and hugged him, Merle could have easily shoved him away and told him to fucking get over it. A few days ago, maybe he would have... Hell, a few days ago, he wouldn't have offered to help clean away Tim's blood in the first place. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong... why he cared about this kid and why the kid seemed to trust him.

It seemed that since the apocalypse began, Glenn had been living with his uncle and cousin only. They clearly hadn't trusted anyone else enough to join a larger group. Even when the uncle went missing, the kids distrusted the world enough to stay on their own for weeks. The one time the boys had ventured out into the world and met other people, they'd promptly met three men who killed one of them and tried to rape the other. Glenn had escaped that, only to run into Merle, who swore and did drugs and threatened to hit Glenn when the kid was too loud or annoying... He even had hit the kid once... Then Merle had sent the boy off on his own to meet up with the same men who already tried to rape him once... What the hell about all that made Glenn think Merle was trustworthy? Was he that desperate? So desperate that Merle was better than nothing and he was willing to depend on a man who had hurt him, scared him, gotten him drunk the first day they met and tried to force him into hand-to-hand combat with monsters? Glenn deserved better than that.

Shaking his head to himself, Merle looked around the small space near the front door, noticing the paper bag Glenn had made sure to bring back with him when they'd fled the gas station. He scowled down at it. That was the stuff he'd risked Glenn's life for. Merle knew he was sending the kid to meet up with three strange men. He hadn't known they were creeps, but he hadn't known for sure that they weren't either. The promise of what little that paper bag contained was worth more to him in that moment than Glenn's safety. Even though Merle honestly didn't know that the men were perverts, sending Glenn alone into any building to meet up with anyone ran numerous risks... Any of these groups who Merle didn't really know well could have hurt or killed the kid. Walkers could have gotten him. Merle knew all these risks in the back of his mind, but he'd sent Glenn in anyway.

With a frustrated huff, Merle kicked the bag across the room. It landed against the wall with a cracking sound, right next to the back pack Merle had brought back. That was the bag one of Glenn's attackers had left behind. Merle wondered what all was in it, besides for the bag of batteries and other supplies he'd sent Glenn in with.

He walked over and picked it up, squinting in the near darkness to see it better. He frowned when he saw a name was sewn into the front in light green thread. He ran his fingers over the letters: "S - A - M." This had belonged to Glenn's cousin. The men who had shot him must have taken it from him.

Carefully, Merle unzipped the bag, pulling out the sack of supplies he'd intended to trade and setting it down on a counter near the door before digging around to see what else the back pack contained. As he fished the items out, he set them down on the counter. He pulled out a box of cigars, some pornographic magazines, an opened and half-empty bag of pretzels, a few cans of beer and an almost empty bottle of soda. This must have been stuff one of the men had collected after taking the bag from Sam, because judging by how Glenn described the kid, he doubted these were things he would have collected on his own.

Merle frowned as he lifted the cover and a few pages of the magazine on the top of a stack of five or six. Whoever had been using this bag was one nasty son of a bitch. Merle was so glad he'd gotten in there before this guy had a chance to take out his pent up sexual aggression on the poor kid. The magazines seemed to feature young women, but like John had told Merle - they were going to take what they could get, and what they could get, unfortunately, had been a defenseless little boy.

Merle swallowed back bile and felt around in his pocket for his lighter. He took the magazines over to a metal trash can over by the wall and lit them on fire, one at a time, waiting for a rather substantial flame to nearly burn his hand each time before dropping them down into the bin.

"Merle?" Glenn's small, uncertain voice asked suddenly from across the room.

Merle winced and turned toward him. "Hm? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Glenn answered. "Are you burning stuff in here?"

Merle let the last of the magazines fall into the trash can, let them burn for a few more seconds, until the images were all blacked or turned to ash, and then stomped his foot into the bin. "Just some stuff we don't need. Makin' sure it don't take up my space," Merle told him.

"Be careful that you don't burn down the building," Glenn frowned before noticing the back pack on the counter and staring at it.

"One of them guys had that..." Merle explained. "Figured I'd see what they had in it, but it ain't nothin' good."

"This was Sam's," Glenn noted, walked across the room, and picked it up in his hands.

"There's nothin left of his in it, kid," Merle frowned. "I looked already. Beer and cigars and shit... Unless Sam was into a lot more grown up stuff than you implied..."

Glenn glanced back at Merle, before focusing on the bag again. He unzipped a small compartment in the front and stuck his fingers down inside, pulling something up slightly, but not taking it fully out of the pocket. His eyes brightened and a smile spread across his face as he looked up at Merle again. "Can we take this into the other room and maybe light some candles?"

"Why?" Merle frowned, trying to see what Glenn had found.

"They must not have checked the pockets! Come on!" Glenn took the bag and trotted back into the other room.

Merle exhaled tiredly and followed the kid. He was glad he'd looked through the bag first and gotten rid of the dirty magazines before Glenn had a chance to stumble upon them... He lit a few candles he had set up around the room before joining Glenn on the couch. He hoped whatever Glenn had found wasn't something stupid. For all he knew, the boy was excited to find a hot-wheel he'd thought was gone forever.

"Look," Glenn spoke as he pulled a stack of photographs out of the back pack's front pouch. There was a small piece of paper wrapped around it which Glenn didn't seem to have noticed until just then. The boy frowned and narrowed his eyes in the low-light as he read it silently to himself.

Merle waited while Glenn read what looked to be a small hand-written note.

"Sam saved these for me," Glenn spoke in a small, almost-shaking voice after a moment of somewhat awkward silence. He tucked the note behind the photos before Merle could get a good look at it. "Here's me and Sam. It was on Sam's birthday a few years ago," Glenn noted, flashing a photo of two Asian kids with their arms around each other's shoulders. Both were grinning wide smiles. "I'm guessing most of these are gonna be of Sam's family since these came from his house, but we were pretty close growing up, so-" he cut himself off with a gasp as he looked at one of the photos. "Its my parents!"

Merle leaned over Glenn's shoulder and looked down at a photo of an Asian man and woman sitting in front of a cake that read 'Happy Anniversary' in bright blue gel-frosting letters.

Glenn placed his small fingers over the photo, running his fingertips across both of the smiling faces. "They were really good parents," he said in a small voice.

Merle nodded. "Y'all looked really happy all the time," he noted. During his own childhood, there weren't many instances of anyone wanting to take photos - it mostly just happened at dysfunctional family reunions when some annoying aunt with a camera would ambush people and demand that they smile and pretend like they all liked each other. The only genuine smiles in any of the Dixon family photos came from a couple aunts and uncles who often had a bit too much to drink at family reunions. Merle's family photos, if he'd bother to save any, would have included him and his cousins and brother, bruised up after a fist fight, or Daryl scowling from a corner at their dad who would have been off his ass wasted. Glenn's smiling, very innocent looking family almost made Merle sick, both because it was bullshit that Merle's life was such a mess when other people's were pleasant, and because the fact that Glenn's family had been so pure and happy made what his life had turned into recently all the more tragic. The smiling little boys in that picture were never going to be that happy again. The young parents in the other picture with their fancy anniversary cake weren't ever going to have another anniversary.

"We were happy," Glenn shrugged. He carefully shuffled the photo of his parents to the back and looked at the next one. "Well, this one's just me," he laughed nervously and quickly shoved it to the back as though embarrassed by it. "Here's Aunt Lin with Mom," he noted. "Aunt Lin and Uncle Henry got divorced a couple years ago. That's why Henry and Sam moved away," Glenn explained with a frown. "I think I heard my dad saying something to my mom about Lin cheating on Henry, but they stopped talking about it when they realized I was listening."

"Lot 'a women are kinda slutty like that," Merle noted.

Glenn frowned. "Aunt Lin was nice though. I don't even know if what my dad said was true or if I even heard it right."

"Well," Merle shrugged. He didn't know the woman.

"She was actually Japanese, so Sam's half Japanese," Glenn noted as he found a photo of an Asian woman and a young Asian boy sitting on a plastic chair at a pool. "See? He looks kinda like her."

Merle shrugged. For all he could tell, that photo was Glenn and his mom. They all looked the same. To him, each photo was Asians - either men, women, or young boys. He couldn't tell them apart beyond that. Sam and Glenn looked literally identical to him, only different ages, and the aunt and mother looked like the same person too.

"Here's me and my sisters," Glenn showed him another photo of an Asian boy and what looked like the exact same little girl only with each one being slightly older or younger than the next.

"God damn I'll bet your family reunions are confusing as hell," Merle smirked.

Glenn stared up at him, spending only a second thinking about what Merle said before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Oh... Ha ha... Because we all look the same?" He spoke in a sarcastic tone.

"You said it. I didn't," Merle laughed.

Glenn shook his head and shuffled through the photos some more. He seemed to be getting used to Merle's jokes and wasn't as fazed by them anymore. "He's got pretty much our whole family in these photos..." Glenn noted. "Even our grandparents. I'm so glad he saved them. I would have never seen any of these people's faces ever again."

"I'm glad he saved 'em for you too, Glenn," Merle genuinely agreed. It must have been nice to have pleasant family memories like Glenn clearly had. Of course, that meant the fact that most or all of these people were dead would be a harder pill to swallow. At least when Merle thought about the fact that most of his own relatives were probably dead, he felt a sense of relief and even justice.

"Here's the last one. This is Sam with Uncle Henry and Aunt Lin," Glenn told him, angling the photo so Merle could see it. The image depicted a young Asian couple with a boy who looked a few years younger than Glenn, standing in front of a blue house. "Its from a while ago. They still lived in Michigan. I remember their house..." He hugged the stack of photos against his chest and sniffed.

Merle could tell the boy was thinking about the fact he was never going to see any of these people again and that all he had left of these family members who were his entire world were these few flat photos. Merle couldn't know what it felt like to care about people so deeply and lose them. He wished he could say or do something to make the kid feel better... Merle was usually better at distraction than offering words that were comforting... even so, distracting the boy would probably be better than saying nothing, so he settled on doing what he did best - being racially insensitive as a way to change the subject and the mood. Even a bit of anger from Glenn would be more comfortable for Merle than the sadness that was radiating off the kid now.

"What's Lin short for? Ling Bing somethin' or another?" Merle wondered. "Do Japanese do the same ching-ping-zing-wing shit that Chinese do?"

Glenn frowned. "It's short for Linda," he answered.

Merle shrugged. "Linda, hmm? And Henry, Sam, and Glenn... Y'all have aggressively white names for a family full of Asians. You know that?"

"Probably so people like you wouldn't make fun of us," Glenn looked up with raised eyebrows.

Merle couldn't help but laugh. Glenn's response was so much quicker than Merle had expected. He was getting used to Merle's racial quips pretty fast and was actually starting to have pretty impressively quick comebacks. "You're pretty smart for a little kid. Sarcastic little son of a bitch," Merle shoved him slightly against his arm, causing Glenn to smile back.

"I wouldn't expect someone named Merle to make fun of anybody else's name," Glenn added with a cautious smirk.

"Fuck off," Merle laughed and shoved him gently again.

Glenn forced a small smile before yawning. He closed his eyes as he leaned against Merle's side and snuggled down as though they'd known each other forever. "I'm really tired." He noted.

Frowning, Merle resisted the urge to shove Glenn away. Why on earth would this kid trust Merle enough to lean up against him like this after what he'd just been through? There were so many creeps out in the world, and they seemed to have survived the apocalypse better than anyone decent thus far. Merle wasn't one to abuse children, but Glenn didn't know that.

"Merle?" Glenn spoke in a low, sleepy voice as he maneuvered himself so that he was lying down with his head on Merle's thigh, on his side with his injured arm hugged protectively against his chest.

"Yeah?" Merle answered.

"Do you think things are ever gonna be normal again?" the boy asked.

Merle shrugged. "A new kind of normal, I guess."

"What do you mean?" Glenn wondered with another yawn.

Merle hesitated. It seemed like Glenn was hoping things would go back to the way they were, but that was impossible at this point. Even so, that didn't mean their lives were over and that they'd never be content or happy ever again. "What I mean is that the world is different now, but you're gonna get used to it, and things will be okay."

"Really?" Glenn's voice was still small, barely above a whisper as he seemed to be falling asleep.

"Yeah, really," Merle told him. "The world was always a mess. It's just a different kind of mess now. We'll adapt. You'll be fine. You've lost people and things and security and all that. Everyone has, but that shit happened before too... Just in different ways. You're gonna be alright. This is pretty fuckin' low point in your life, but I figure it can't get anything but better for you from here."

"Things won't always be scary," Glenn agreed. "People won't always be mean."

Merle frowned. "People are always gonna be bastards, Glenn. We've just got to better learn how to stay the hell away from them."

"We'll stick together," Glenn suggested. "We'll be-" He yawned again and paused long enough that Merle wondered if he was even still awake until he finally finished his thought- "safer together."

"Yeah. We will be." Merle stared down at him for a few minutes as they both remained silent and as Glenn's breaths evened out. The stack of photos was next to the boy on the cushion, with the note from Sam sticking out slightly.

Reaching down, Merle carefully pulled the note out from between two photos and read it silently to himself:

'Dear Glenn,

By the time you read this, I'm sure you'll already know that I've been bitten. I'll probably already be gone when you find these. The geek by the fire escape - the one that used to be Bill - bit me when I was fighting with him. It's not your fault, so don't think that it is. By now you're probably living with a new group who will take care of you better than I ever could. Maybe they'll even know what day it is and you can go back to celebrating holidays.

I looked through my dad's photo albums and took out all the pictures I thought you'd like so you could remember all of us and see us whenever you want to. Remember to be good, Glenn. Don't let the world turn you bitter and don't ever give up, because you're brave and strong and kind, and whatever the world turns into, it's going to be a place that needs people like that. Don't ever stop being you, Glenn. You're the best friend I've ever had, and the brother I never had. I'm glad you were here with me when the world ended. Sorry I could't stick around longer.

Love you,  
Sam'

Merle felt his throat tighten as he stared down at the paper, at Sam's messy handwriting and the small heart he'd scribbled under his name. The note was so short and concise. The poor kid had probably thought for a while about what to write though... knowing that he was dying and was leaving the younger boy behind to an uncertain fate and that these would be his last words to the kid. It made Merle feel guilty for not spending more efforts to find his own brother. Of course, Daryl was much more capable than Glenn. Daryl didn't necessarily need Merle. Glenn did need someone to look after him.

Sam was right and wrong in his note. Glenn was with a new 'group' by the time he read the note... Merle couldn't claim he was taking better care of the kid than his cousin could have though. How many times did Sam get Glenn trapped in a freezer overnight? How many times had the older boy gotten Glenn drunk, or slapped him across the face and threatened to break his bones? Sam probably hadn't ever sent Glenn into a gas station with three child rapists or risked the kid's life to collect drugs...

Merle wondered if Glenn still would want to stay with him if given a less dangerous alternative. He also wondered if it would be cruel of him to keep Glenn around for his own selfish reasons. Glenn seemed to have forgiven the fact that Merle had been using him and putting him into danger without a good reason, but the boy didn't know what was best for him. Traveling with someone like Merle seemed dangerous for someone like Glenn. Merle clearly didn't have what it took to be careful and kind enough to look after a vulnerable young child.

Surprisingly, Merle found he didn't really hate being around the kid. Talking to another living human being was kind of nice, and when the boy had taken the initiative to kill that walker earlier today, Merle had felt something he hadn't felt for anyone in a long, long time. He was actually proud. Merle generally reserved any feelings of proudness for his little brother, and even that was rare.

Somehow this tiny little Asian kid had managed to claim a little piece of heart that Merle didn't even realize he possessed. Even so, Merle wondered if the boy would be better off living with people who were more gentle and who wouldn't put him in unnecessary danger. Maybe the group with the women and the baby would be a better fit. Merle felt he was far more capable than they were, but Glenn would probably fit in better there. He supposed he'd leave it up to Glenn. At this point, the kindest thing he could do for the kid would be to let him choose for himself.

xxxxxx


	17. Not the End of the World

xxxxxx

Chapter 17

xxxxxx

When Glenn woke up, it was early morning. He could hear the sound of birds chirping outside - a strange noise that hadn't been this prominent in the city until lately. It was strange that all other life forms seemed to thrive the second humanity faltered. Light flooded into the room through several large windows along the wall. Glenn wondered why Merle hadn't boarded those up. It seemed kind of dangerous to sleep in a room with a bunch of huge windows like that. If the dead ever heard them from that direction, they could come crashing right through before Merle ever woke up - especially considering the fact that the man seemed to enjoy recreational drug and alcohol abuse and had a high likelihood of being drunk or stoned out of his mind on any given morning.

He looked down at himself as he yawned. He was still lying on the funeral home couch he'd fallen asleep on last night and somehow he'd ended up with a pillow under his head. He hadn't even realized Merle had pillows here, and certainly didn't remember being offered one. He was also covered up with a fleece blanket - another luxury he never knew Merle had to offer.

Glenn smiled as he realized Merle must have covered him up and put the pillow under his head while Glenn was sleeping. Merle liked to act like he didn't care about people, but clearly that wasn't true.

Groaning, Glenn pulled himself up. His ribs hurt a bit where Tim had punched him and his shoulder still felt sore.

"Oh, you're up," Merle spoke as he entered the room. "Made you a sling. It's probably not really necessary, but keepin' your arm still might help it heal better or faster... or somethin.' I don't know. I ain't a doctor." He shrugged, walked over to Glenn, and helped him into a cloth sling he seemed to have fashioned out of a t-shirt.

"Thanks." Glenn smiled up at him.

"I know I usually ask if you want somethin' to eat, and you always say no since you seem to be in some kinda depression, but I ain't asking this time. You gotta eat something more than M&Ms eventually. I got about fifteen different flavors of pop tart," Merle noted. "You name it and I probably have it. What flavor do you want?"

"Do you have blueberry?" Glenn wondered. He wasn't sure why Merle seemed to think Glenn was depressed. Of course, he was still upset that his entire family was dead and that he'd been attacked by violent strangers twice in the past couple days, but that wasn't depression. That was just a really rough week. Glenn honestly was hungry and wouldn't have said no even if Merle didn't offer him breakfast as though he wasn't allowed to refuse.

"Of course I do. 'Bout twenty boxes of 'em. Blueberry's one of the ones I have the most of," Merle answered as he left the room. He came back with a packet of two pop tarts and a box of apple juice. "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Merle." Glenn took the food and opened the package. "I don't need two. Do you want the other one?" he asked.

Merle shook his head. "I fuckin' hate those things. I collected 'em because that group we're meeting with today with the kids likes 'em. I got a lot of shit hoarded in here that I'd never even want. It's all for the trade business."

Glenn smiled. It was kind of a nice system, in theory, for these groups to meet up and trade things. On the surface, it almost seemed greedy, but when Glenn considered that different groups lived in different places in the city and had different levels of skill in terms of collecting different things, it actually probably helped people obtain things they wouldn't have been capable of otherwise. It was Merle's way of creating order in the chaos that the world had become.

"We're supposed to meet up with 'em soon," Merle told him."Will you be ready in five or ten minutes?"

"Am I going alone?" Glenn frowned. Even though the likelihood of another of Merle's trade groups being like the ones from last night was slim, he still felt it wasn't a great idea to make the same potential mistake so soon after the horrific backfire he'd just encountered.

"No." Merle shook his head. "We ain't doin' it like that anymore. I'd even just let you stay here and go myself, but I kinda want to you come to this one to meet these people. We'll leave whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready now." Glenn shrugged.

"Alright." Merle nodded. "I'll carry the stuff. Keep an eye out for walkers. Tell me if you see one I don't notice. I know you killed that one yesterday, and that was good. You did good... But with your arm in that sling, I'd rather kill 'em for you. No sense in messin' up your arm if you don't have to."

Glenn followed Merle from the building and they made their way down the street. Occasionally Merle would go off to the side and take out a geek. Fortunately, the crowd that had followed them home yesterday seemed to have dispersed by morning.

"I have some ideas about how we could make the funeral home feel more..." Glenn paused and shrugged. "You know, like a home."

Merle glanced over his shoulder at Glenn. "Well, we won't be there forever though," he said.

"You've been there for a while already, right?" Glenn frowned. "I didn't know you planned on leaving... Where are we going?"

"Well..." Merle hesitated. "Nowhere... It's just... Well, everything's always temporary these days, so there's no sense in making anyplace into a home."

"You've got so much stuff stored in there," Glenn frowned. "It doesn't look like you plan on leaving anytime soon. So we might as well make it nicer."

"Yeah, but do you really want to live in a funeral home for the rest of your life?" Merle wondered.

Glenn shrugged his shoulders. "We live there now, so we should make it nice. You know that main room with the couches and chairs? We could turn it into a really comfortable space, with actual beds if we could find any at a nearby store or apartment or something. Or we could just keep the couches and put pillows and blankets on them. I think we should search for books and art supplies and stuff like that so we'll have something to do when were bored."

Merle continued walking ahead. Glenn wasn't even sure if he was listening since he didn't react at all.

"Or we could find other stuff if you don't like reading or drawing," Glenn offered. "What kinds of stuff do you like?"

"I already got the kinds of stuff I like," Merle laughed, finally indicating that he was in fact listening.

"I was thinking we could start a garden outside too," Glenn suggested. "And if you don't want people to see it and start snooping around, we can even put it on the roof or the roof of the next building over. I could water it every day, so you won't even have to worry about it. We can collect rain water. I had a teacher who did that for a school garden we had. We never had to actually use tap water. The rain water we collected was more than enough, because we had a lot of barrels. That would cool, right? We could have fresh vegetables."

"I dunno... Maybe," Merle seemed reluctant to feel as excited about this as Glenn had hoped.

Glenn frowned and followed Merle silently. Maybe Merle didn't like vegetables. Glenn didn't either until recently. He never realized how good fresh produce was until the only vegetables he had access to were old mushy ones from cans.

"These people seem nice enough," Merle changed the subject as they walked. "I mean, I don't really know them, but I know they got kids with 'em. Don't know how many or what ages, but could be some near your age. I know they got a baby. They like when I bring 'em diapers."

"How many of them meet up with you?" Glenn wondered as he popped the last piece of the pop tart Merle had given him into his mouth. Merle was acting like Glenn was going to meet the entire group.

"Anywhere between three and five usually," Merle answered. "It's always the same two and the others seem to rotate. I think I've met ten total from this group, and they always want kid stuff, so they've got to have at least a couple kids in their group."

Glenn nodded. "I wonder where they're living with so many people."

Merle shrugged. "Glenn, they might be willing to let you join them if we ask."

Frowning, Glenn looked up at Merle. Did he not want Glenn to stay with him? He thought they were becoming friends. Maybe Merle didn't appreciate Glenn as much as Glenn appreciated Merle... Their relationship did seem somewhat one-sided. Merle had saved Glenn numerous time. Glenn hadn't done anything for Merle though. Glenn felt like he needed Merle, but couldn't claim the man needed him back. Maybe having Glenn around was too much work. Maybe after having to kill those three men and risk his own life to do it, Merle had decided he didn't want to expend that amount of effort just so he could have someone with him who could fit through small windows.

"You don't want me to stay with you anymore?" Glenn frowned.

"No," Merle sighed. "I mean, you can... I don't mind it... but is that really what you want?"

Glenn looked down at the ground. Glenn appreciated Merle so much, but he could understand why the man didn't want him around anymore. Merle had taken him in when Glenn had no one. He'd saved him from the men who tried to hurt him. He'd taught him to stop being so scared of the undead... And all Glenn could do was sit around his house and eat all of his pop tarts. He couldn't even successfully complete a trade with another group without Merle having to come in and save him from them. Thanks to Glenn, a third of Merle's trading business was gone now.

"I know I'm not as helpful as you maybe hoped... and you've got a lot more to offer me than I have to give back..." Glenn started. "But I think I can get better and be more helpful... We're still getting to know each other. I can still do trades for you if you want. It was probably just that one group that was bad. I can do supply runs on my own too, when I learn where nearby stores are. I know how to kill geeks now, so I'll be even better at it than I was. I can keep working for you. I can be useful..."

"What?" Merle frowned. "This isn't because I don't think you're useful."

"Why do you want me to leave then?" Glenn wondered.

Merle shook his head. "Because you're not safe with me. You've been a big help, Glenn. All I've done is hand you over to creeps and drag you all over hell while I searched for drugs. You know I ain't sick, right? I just do drugs for fun. I risked your life, so I could get high. I already had all those kinds of drugs too. I just wanted more for later, so I wouldn't run out. That day we almost died in that fast food place, it was all to feed an addiction that didn't even need fed... And the only reason we even survived it was because you were looking for a way out while I was dickin' around killin' walkers with no end in sight. I nearly got you killed, and you saved my fuckin' life. All I've done for you is save you from child molesters when I was the one who sent you to them in the first place."

Glenn offered a tight smile. "If you didn't let me stay with you that first day I met you though, I would have been on my own. I wouldn't have known where to go... Those guys were after me, and if they didn't catch me, the dead would have. I didn't know how to kill them yet. I would have died."

Merle shook his head again. "These people we're meetin' up with are normal. They ain't vulgar drug addicts who'll call you Chinese and piss you off all the time. I think you'd fit in better with them."

"I think I fit in fine with you," Glenn pouted.

"They probably wouldn't make you go on supply runs for drugs and alcohol or go do trades with rapists," Merle said with a dry, forced laugh as he stared ahead.

"They probably wouldn't teach me how to kill walkers either," Glenn noted.

"Walkers? Thought you called 'em geeks," Merle remembered. "You don't need to know how to kill 'em if you've got responsible adults takin' care of you like they should. I've been treating you like I expect you to be as good at this shit as I am, but you're just a kid. You're not supposed to know how to take care of yourself yet. You deserve to have someone taking care of you, keeping you safe, doing the worst of all this shit for you - at least until you grow up a little more. If you're with the right people, you won't ever have to worry about knowing how to kill monsters. These people probably got a safe little spot where the kids don't have to fight for their lives. It won't be scary and terrible and dangerous like traveling with me."

Glenn shook his head. "I already tried it that way, Merle. It didn't work. My uncle didn't teach us how to kill them. He wanted to let us be kids for a little longer, and he left one day, to do everything for us instead of teaching us to survive... and when he never came back, we didn't know how to keep ourselves safe. This stuff is horrible and scary, but like you said... I'm gonna be glad I know what to do when the time comes."

"You'd honestly rather live in a funeral home with me than with normal, decent people in... I don't know, a house or something?" Merle raised an eyebrow. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?"

"No," Glenn told him. "I'm not kidding. I think you and I work well together. It's got a kind of learning curve to it. We're both still adapting... but I think it's a good fit. Who's gonna crawl through pharmacy windows for you if I leave? Who's gonna teach me how to take care of myself if I go live with people who'd treat me like a little kid?"

He honestly did think they were good for each other. Just in the two days Glenn had spent with Merle, he had witnessed the man become softer. He seemed more caring and even appeared to usually choose his words more carefully and make an effort not to hurt Glenn's feeling. He was less violent, hadn't threatened to hit Glenn in over a day... Merle was good for Glenn too. In a couple of months living with kinder, gentler people, Glenn hadn't ever learned to defend himself against the dead. In just a couple days with Merle, he had been convinced to give it a shot, and he'd actually killed one - all on his own. Merle was also pretty protective, whether he realized it or not. He'd gotten into a shootout with three violent men who could have easily fought back and killed him - all for Glenn's sake. At some point during their short relationship, it seemed like Merle had actually started to care about him. Glenn didn't want to leave.

"Well, we're gonna meet up with them. You don't gotta decide yet, but we're gonna keep the option open, assuming they'll let you join them," Merle persisted.

Glenn frowned. He really wanted to stay with Merle, but maybe Merle honestly didn't feel the same. Maybe risking his life to save the boy had been his last straw. Glenn had to admit that it must have been a lot more work for Merle to take care of himself and a twelve year old kid... Especially considering Glenn had inadvertently made enemies out of three rather violent men who had turned into a problem Merle would have otherwise not had to deal with. "Do you want me to go, Merle?" he asked.

Merle turned and stared at him for a few long seconds. He seemed to be trying to read something in Glenn's eyes and appeared deep in thought. "No," he finally answered. "I want you to do whatever you want for yourself... but I don't mind you staying."

Glenn nodded. He seemed to be beginning to understand what Merle was thinking. It seemed like he did want Glenn to stay, but wasn't sure if that was what was best for Glenn.

Living in the zombie apocalypse, it was hard to say what was best for anyone anymore, but the mere fact that Merle seemed to be taking into consideration that staying with him might not be what was best for Glenn made Glenn feel more compelled to stay. Some part of Merle, whether he realized it or not, cared about Glenn's well-being. He seemed to want to act like he didn't care, but he'd risked his life to save Glenn from the men who had attacked him yesterday. He'd made numerous efforts to teach Glenn how to fend off the dead when there was nothing for himself to gain from it. He had invited the boy into his home even though as far as Merle knew, Glenn could have stolen a bunch of his stuff and ran off.

Merle was far from perfect, and he seemed determined to offend people as much as possible with his racist jokes and often harsh language, but Glenn could see that he wasn't a bad person. In a world where almost everyone was dead, where a majority of those who were still living would not hesitate to steal from or hurt each other with no remorse, being around a crass man like Merle didn't seem so bad. Before the apocalypse, Glenn probably wouldn't have gone anywhere near someone like him, but the world was different now. People who would have seemed approachable before had stolen from him, hurt him, and shot Sam - all for no reason... Meanwhile, Merle, who looked scary, talked in a way that was scary, and who would have been given a wide berth by nearly anyone before the world ended was the one person who was willing to give Glenn a chance.

At this point, Glenn felt he could certainly use someone strong, capable, and willing to watch his back. Merle seemed like he could use someone to keep him company too. The guy claimed he didn't mind being alone, but Glenn had seen him smile or laugh in response to something Glenn said more than once. He also seemed genuinely grateful when Glenn had found the freezer in the back of the restaurant while they were surrounded by the dead and clearly appreciated Glenn's ability to squeeze into small windows. They each had something the other could benefit from.

"I do want to stay, Merle," Glenn told him.

"Why, for the pop tarts?" Merle smirked down at him.

Glenn grinned and wrapped his uninjured arm around Merle's back, offering him a hug he wasn't sure the man really wanted. "Exactly, Merle. Where else am I gonna get twenty boxes of blueberry pop tarts?"

Merle seemed to stiffen for a moment at Glenn's half-hug, but it took him only a few seconds to put his arm around Glenn's shoulders and hug him back.

"You're a weird little fucker, Glenn." Merle chuckled a raspy laugh and shook his head. "Ain't nobody on the planet ever had the option to get away from me and chose not to."

Glenn frowned. "That sounds really sad, Merle."

"Aww, come on," Merle laughed. "I ain't lookin' for therapy. I'm just a fuckin' prick and most people don't like it is all. Wasn't a complaint or nothin'."

"Well, I think you've got a kinder heart than you realize," Glenn told him. "And I'll bet people wouldn't want to get away from you if you let them see who you are before you scare them away with threats and racist jokes."

Merle shrugged. "I don't know about that. I can be a real bastard sometimes."

Glenn smiled and continued walking along with him. Maybe Merle didn't know he had a heart, but Glenn knew. He had a good feeling about their partnership. Maybe the zombie apocalypse wouldn't be the end of the world after all...

xxxxxx


	18. Trade Group Number Three

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Chapter 18

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As they walked along down the middle of the street, Merle made sure to frequently glance over toward Glenn to make sure the kid was still keeping up without any difficultly. If he had known the boy wanted to stay with him so much, he would have left him back the the funeral home. There was really no need for Glenn to come along on this trade if he wasn't going home with these people, and all the walking was probably going to make him exhausted after everything he'd endured last night. Glenn didn't seem too tired though. He was walking a little slower than normal, but only barely.

"Sorry this one's so far away," Merle grumbled. "I met these people during a really long outing. I try to stick relatively close to home, but wanted to see what else was out there. They wanted to meet close to where they live, and I didn't want to tell them where I lived. It sorta worked out in a way that fucks me over." He shrugged. "I probably should'a just told 'em to go fuck themselves, because I'm startin' to wonder if this one's really worth the trip. I must be bored or somethin'."

"That's okay." Glenn smiled at him. "We don't have anything better to do."

"It's just four or five more blocks," Merle told him. "We meet in a library. They go in there and take books back with 'em too. They even return books sometimes - like they're actually still fuckin' treating it like a real library. Nobody left on the planet knows how to read since they're all walking corpses, but what the fuck ever, I guess."

"Maybe we could take some," Glenn suggested. "And return them every week too. Trade them for new ones."

Merle frowned. "Or just keep 'em. Christ, Glenn... How many people you think are gonna go to that library? There's enough books for the five fuckin' people left in the world to just take whichever ones they want."

Glenn shrugged but didn't argue.

Merle's ears perked up as he heard the not-so-distant sound of raised voices, and maybe even screams. He hoped their trade group wasn't being devoured...

"Hey, do you hear that?" Merle wondered as he put his arm out across Glenn's chest, stopping the boy in his tracks as he narrowed his eyes and looked as far down the empty street as he could.

"Someone's in trouble up there," Glenn spoke in a small voice, looking up at Merle. "We should see if we can help."

Merle immediately shook his head and let out a dry laugh. "You know people die every damn day in this world, right? Nearly everybody left is gonna be a meal for those gross, rotten fuckers. If them people's being made into lunch, I sure as hell don't want you and me to be dessert."

"But-" Glenn protested.

"But nothing," Merle glared down at him. "You don't survive in this world by tryin' to be everybody's hero. Especially not you, with your arm already hurt. You don't know what kinda hell's goin' on up there. It'd be stupid to charge into it when you could just stay here and not risk a damn thing. Can't save everybody."

Glenn bit his lower lip and stared down the street as another scream, louder than the others rang out. Merle could see the beginnings of tears in his eyes. "Something's happening... They're still alive. We've got to help them, Merle... We have to."

"No, we don't have to," Merle disagreed. "You'll just get yourself killed. You don't even know these people."

"You didn't know me," Glenn stared back.

"Yeah, and I didn't care if you died at first either," Merle sighed. "Best not to get involved. Look where it led the last time I gave a shit about someone other than myself," he added, nodding toward Glenn with a raised eyebrow.

Glenn's lips twitched as he frowned up at the man. Merle couldn't tell if he was about to cry or start screaming. Unfortunately, he did neither, and elected to dart off down the street instead, toward the noise.

"Glenn!" Merle called after him as he reached out and tried to grab the boy. Glenn was too fast. "Son of a bitch..." Merle grumbled and started after him. The little fucker was fast. "Glenn, stop! You're gonna get us both killed, you dumb little shit!"

"You don't have to help," Glenn called back, but didn't slow down. "I'm going to though."

Merle exhaled tiredly as he tried to increase his speed, but still couldn't catch the kid. It looked like he was going to have to help these people whether he wanted to or not. His new little business partner was going to get himself killed otherwise.

"Let her go!" a woman's voice called from somewhere up ahead.

Merle groaned to himself. That probably meant whatever was going wrong up there wasn't only due to the presence of the dead. Most people didn't try to appeal to walkers by talking to them anymore. Verbal pleas were reserved for the living, and the living were often far more ruthless than the dead.

"Glenn!" He hissed in as low a voice as he could while still being heard. "Glenn, stop! You don't know what you're running into!" For all they knew, Merle's trade group may have been being picked off one by one by military gone-bad or anything else. Not every large group left around here got that way by being nice.

The boy kept going, ignoring Merle as the screams became louder. Someone fired a shot, which got Glenn to slow down for a moment, only to pick his speed back up as he rounded the corner.

"Fuck," Merle grumbled as he turned the corner too, and could finally see the scene they were now a part of.

Sure enough, it was Merle's trade group who were in trouble. The three here today were all ones he'd met before, a blonde woman named Tracy or Trudy or something like that, a skinny black woman who called herself Nora, and a big, muscular white guy named Alex. Merle believed Alex was Tracy or Trudy's father, but he wasn't sure if he was told that or had just guessed.

Along with the group were four armed men, laughing and jeering with their guns drawn. One of the men, a rather hairy-looking guy, held Nora in front of his chest, pressing a gun against her temple as Tracy or Trudy pleaded with him to let her go. Meanwhile Alex was fighting off the undead, who were spilling in from an alley.

"Better get that one," one of the men taunted as Alex took out each of the walkers all on his own. The hostile group wasn't helping at all until the man was overwhelmed and even then they only helped just enough to keep the guy alive so he could keep fighting what looked to be an impossible battle.

"Let go of me!" Nora screamed as the man gripping her held her tighter.

The other woman, Tracy or Trudy, looked nervously between Alex and Nora, clearly unsure where she was needed most and torn between helping Alex fight off the undead and pleading for Nora's sake.

"Stop!" Glenn screamed in a shaking voice as he took in the scene before them, drawing attention to himself and Merle.

Merle closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled. He probably could have taken out a couple of these men before they ever knew they had company if Glenn would have just kept his loud little mouth shut.

"Lookie at that," One of the men chuckled. "Your knight in shining armor is here, ladies."

"Let them go!" Glenn demanded, wrestling his knife off his belt and holding it out in a way he probably hoped would look threatening.

All four of the men looked amused as a few of them laughed. The one gripping Nora held her down harder, running his hand over her stomach and up toward her breast, which caused her to whimper audibly and squeeze her eyes shut.

One of the other three men shot down a walker when Alex seemed overwhelmed by a group of five. It seemed like they didn't want the man to actually die just yet, but weren't necessarily helping for his sake. They enjoyed watching him fight off the dead, which he probably wasn't going to succeed with without getting bitten for much longer. The poor man looked exhausted.

"If you want to help them, kid, go ahead," the man who just shot the walker offered. "There's more groaners where that came from, and he looks like he could use all the help he can get. Have at it."

Glenn whimpered and shrugged out of his sling as he gripped his knife and looked nervously toward the walkers spilling out of the alley. "Why are you doing this? Just let them go! We can all just run. We don't have to fight these ones!"

One of the men nearer to the alley laughed, reached out toward a walker, grabbed it by its upper arms and shoved it toward Glenn, who gasped and stumbled back, crying out a pained wince as he caught himself with both hands against the asphalt and as the walker tripped up and started to fall toward him.

"Mother fucker," Merle growled under his breath and quickly stepped forward, pulling the walker up by its arms and effortlessly stabbing it in the head. He wasn't going to get involved in this if he didn't have to, but now he had to. "Stay out of the way, Glenn," he instructed as he made his way over toward the alley and started taking out the dead.

"Please let her go!" the blonde woman yelled frantically.

"She can go when y'all clear out the groaners," the man gripping Nora offered.

"Why don't you come help us out, Trudy," Merle grumbled as he stuck his knife into a walker's skull, quickly pulled it out and then stabbed another. Alex was breathing hard next to him and looked like he was on the verge of complete panic. Merle wondered how long this mess had been going on. The poor man looked exhausted and had a fair amount of blood covering his hands, arms, and chest. Merle hoped for his sake that it was the blood of the dead and he hadn't been bitten.

The blonde woman all but ignored Merle as she continued staring at the man holding onto her friend. "Please!" she begged.

"We could use a little help here!" Merle called out again, putting his knife through another walker's skull and kicking it against its chest so that it fell back instead of forward. "Not you," Merle exhaled as Glenn rushed up beside him and grabbed a smaller walker by its neck, stabbing with his injured arm and whimpering a soft cry as he successfully put it down.

When there were a few seconds to spare between walkers, Merle took the opportunity to look around the scene. The four men forcing this group to kill these walkers were all armed with guns, but Merle had one too. If he successfully took out the one holding onto the black girl, he might be able to take out the other three too, especially if the women and Alex had guns and took the initiative to help. If the others didn't catch on, however, Merle would have to take out four men - all already holding their guns - all by himself. It seemed improbable. But the walkers kept coming, and he, Glenn and Alex weren't going to be able to keep at this forever. Each time Glenn took down an additional one, he looked more and more tired, and his arm was already hurt. Every single one he went for was a risk. If the kid got bitten because Merle didn't time this right, he didn't know how he'd feel - quite possibly devastated.

He stabbed another walker that had its eyes set on Glenn and then looked up toward the man hanging out by the alley. He wasn't paying attention to Merle. The man holding Nora wasn't either. None of them were...

With a low growl in his throat, Merle shoved Glenn back, out of the way, grabbed a walker, pushed it toward the closest of the men, grabbed out his gun, and quickly aimed and shot the man holding onto the girl.

All at once, the man guarding the alley let out a shrill scream as the walker snapped its teeth at his cheek, ripping off a huge chunk of skin. The man holding Nora fell down, taking her with him, while Alex, distracted by the gunfire and screams, looked back toward the women and was caught off-guard enough not to notice a walker biting into his shoulder until it was too late. He let out a scream as well as he tried to turn around only to be bitten again. Merle didn't have time to help him, and he was doomed anyway. He had to finish off the living before focusing on the dead.

Unfortunately, the two men he hadn't gotten around to shooting yet didn't just stand around like statues while Merle took them out. They noticed their two friends go down and were quick to start firing off shots in an attempt to avenge their friends.

Merle ducked down as a shot whizzed past his head. He noticed Glenn struggling to climb to his hands and knees as well. The stupid kid needed to just stay down. Merle quickly crawled forward, pushing Glenn back down, holding him there with a hand on his chest, and aiming at the first of the two men, firing, and unfortunately missing, before the guy shot back. The other man seemed to be firing his weapon too, but none of his shots landed. Maybe he was shooting the dead now that Merle, Alex, and Glenn weren't killing them for him.

Merle shot again, hitting the man in the shoulder, as Glenn squirmed under Merle's hand. "Hold still," Merle growled down at the kid. "Just stay down."

"Let me up!" Glenn practically screamed, grabbing Merle's wrist with both of his hands and prying the man's hand off of his chest. It wasn't until Glenn actually succeeded in throwing Merle off him that the man realized why the kid was so frantic. The boy grabbed his fallen knife and lunged back behind Merle, stabbing a walker with a startled little gasp and jumping back as it fell forward toward him.

Merle exhaled as he realized Glenn had just saved him - again. He hadn't been paying attention to the dead. It was a good thing Glenn hadn't forgotten about them.

Merle focused back on the armed man, who had one hand gripping his bleeding shoulder while he aimed his gun with the other. Both he and Merle fired at the same time. Merle hit his target, right in the forehead. The other man missed. Merle laughed and turned toward the last man, shooting him easily while he was focused on the walkers.

"We gotta get outta here," Merle called out to the women who seemed content to stay here crying for the rest of their short lives. He didn't really care if the women got out of this mess or not, but figured he'd warn them.

Alex sobbed loud, agonized cries and screamed from the alley as walkers continued tearing him to shreds, while the blonde woman scrambled toward him, gripping a knife in a shaking hand and stabbing at as many walkers as she could while tears streamed down her face.

"You can't save him," Merle told her as he turned to find Glenn. A gasp caught in his throat when he noticed the boy on the ground gripping his thigh near his knee and breathing in and out short, pained breaths. "Glenn?" Merle frowned, bending down and prying the boy's small hands away from the wound so he could see it. "You didn't get bit, did you?"

"No," Glenn answered in a shaking, breathless voice. "I think he shot me... I-" He paused, his frantic breaths turning into tears as he shoved Merle's hands away and gripped his own over the wound, which was bleeding rather heavily. Rather than finishing his thought, he broke down into pained, frightened sobs.

Merle quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled it out from his pants loops. He wrapped it securely around Glenn's leg, above the wound, and pulled it tight. "You're okay," he spoke in as calm a voice as he could while Glenn sobbed loudly under his hands

As Merle shrugged out of his over-shirt, he heard the women sobbing behind him and the growling of geeks flooding toward Alex, who still screamed out agonized cries as he was torn apart. It was taking the poor man a cruelly long time to die. His cries gurgled past blood collecting in his throat as the white woman continued in vain to put down as many walkers as she could and as the black woman simply cried on the ground several feet away.

Merle didn't have time to worry about them and their trauma. He didn't really know them and didn't care about them. He did know Glenn - better than he knew the women anyway. He pried Glenn's hands away from his leg and wrapped his shirt tightly around the limb to slow the bleeding.

"Am I gonna die?" Glenn whimpered with a shaking breath as he moved his hands back to his thigh, pressing down over Merle's shirt. More blood seeped through the garment with Glenn's every heartbeat.

"No... You're not gonna die," Merle told him, though he really wasn't certain that was true. He reached down and grabbed the boy up into his arms. The first thing they needed to do was to get someplace safe. The only building in the area he knew for sure was likely cleared of the dead was the library, so he headed for it.

"Merle, I'm sorry," Glenn sobbed as he hugged his uninjured arm around Merle's neck and buried his face in the man's chest. With his other hand, he continued attempting to put pressure on his wound. "I just wanted to help."

Merle exhaled. "You did help." He didn't tell Glenn that he expected those two women would end up dying anyway, as they seemed reluctant to leave their friend, but the last thing Glenn needed in this moment was to feel like he'd gotten shot for nothing.

"Did they shoot you?" Glenn wondered in a shaking, breathless voice between sobs. "Were you bitten? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Merle promised as he pulled the library's front door open and rushed inside. He put Glenn down on the front counter and grabbed out his knife, carefully cutting the material of Glenn's pant leg as the boy leaned back against the counter and put his hands over his face.

Once Glenn's jeans were out of the way, Merle could better see the injury. It looked like the bullet passed through his leg on the side. That meant Merle wouldn't need to dig around for pieces of it at least. It probably hadn't hit bone... But Glenn was still bleeding rather heavily and crying even harder.

"Shhh," Mere reached up and put his hand lightly on Glenn's chest as the boy sobbed loudly. "You're okay... Calm down. You're gonna be fine."

Glenn shook his head but continued lying back with his hands over his face. "I'm gonna die!" He sobbed. "I'm sorry, Merle. You were right. I just wanted to help!" He choked out between sobs. "I thought I could help..."

Merle exhaled and moved his shirt back over Glenn's wound. The most important thing he needed to do was to stop the bleeding, or at the very least slow it down as much as possible.

"Merle!" A woman's voice spoke out behind him as the door creaked open. He heard footfalls as the door was closed behind whoever had just walked in. "Is he okay?"

Merle looked over his shoulder. It was the blonde woman, Trudy or Tracy. The black woman was right behind her. Both looked very much like they'd been crying. Alex wasn't with them.

"Either of you got medical training? He's been shot," Merle grumbled. At least maybe Glenn seeing that they were in fact alive would make him less devastated. He'd gotten shot while saving people. At least there was that.

"No," the blonde woman answered breathlessly. "But I know some people who do. There's a hospital still up and running. It's just fifteen or so blocks north of here and then two or three blocks east."

"How you know it's still running?" Merle turned toward her, but kept his hand on Glenn's leg, trying to put pressure on it, even though there was both an entry and exit wound and gripping both at the same time was difficult.

"We took Candice there a couple weeks ago. When we were running from the dead, I accidentally dislocated her shoulder and wrist... I felt so bad and no one knew how to fix it... We were desperate and really were just looking for books that might have instructions to do it ourselves... but there were people there - doctors and nurses," the blonde explained.

"Who the fuck is Candice?" Merle growled, turning back toward Glenn and putting his other hand over the exit wound. Glenn's leg was so small. Everything about him was. He was still sobbing into his hands and may not have even been aware that the women he'd cared so much about saving were here right now.

"My daughter," the woman answered with a frown in her voice. "I told you about her..."

Merle exhaled. Why the hell would he have bothered to remember that? "Show me where it is," he demanded as he scooped Glenn up into his arms. "You two any good at takin' out walkers?"

"Yeah," the blonde answered. The black woman nodded too.

"Good. Let's go." Merle held Glenn close and followed the women out onto the street.

xxxxxx


	19. You Ain't Dyin'

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Chapter 19

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"Thanks for helping us out back there, Merle," the blonde spoke to him in an out-of-breath voice as they walked.

"Was his idea," Merle nodded down toward Glenn, whose sobbing had died down a bit, though he still hugged himself close to Merle's chest and hid his face from the world. His bleeding seemed to have slowed a bit, but Merle was still in a hurry - both because he wasn't sure if this hospital really would still be staffed by doctors or would be a dead end, and because the bleeding hadn't fully stopped and he didn't know how serious this wound might be.

"Aw," the woman frowned sympathetically toward the boy. "What's his name?"

"Glenn," Merle answered, feeling agitation rising in his chest. He wasn't trying to bond with this stupid bitch. He just needed her to show him where this hospital was so he could get Glenn help. He didn't give a fuck if these women lived or died. He only cared about Glenn and himself.

"Glenn, honey?" She put her hand lightly on his arm. "You did a very brave thing today... And we're gonna make sure you're okay, alright?"

Glenn sniffed back a shaking breath and turned his face toward her. "I'm sorry your friend died... I wanted to help... I didn't-" He cut himself short and inhaled another shaking breath as more tears threatened to fall.

"There was nothing you could have done... Those men would have killed all three of us if you two hadn't shown up, and I'm pretty sure my dad got bitten on his hand before you were ever there... He was never going to make it." She frowned.

"He was your dad?" Glenn frowned, looking even more heartbroken than before.

The woman nodded. "It's okay though... You were a lot of help. You did everything you could do. You're a good person, Glenn and we appreciate your help. That decision you made - to come help us - it saved our lives. That's on you. You saved us. We won't forget that. You should feel proud of yourself."

"Thanks," Glenn spoke in a small voice. He didn't seem to feel proud of his good deed though.

"I'm Tracy, by the way," she continued. "And that's Nora." She gestured toward the black woman who forced a smile and a slight wave. "We've been trading with your friend Merle here for a while. We're all gonna make sure you get through this, alright."

"Mmm hmm," Glenn mumbled tiredly.

"We almost there?" Merle cut in. He could feel Glenn's breaths becoming more rapid, but also more shallow. Before now, Glenn seemed to have been calming down, and there was no real reason for the boy to start feeling upset again now. Merle was starting to get worried and wanted a competent doctor to look him over as soon as possible.

"A couple more blocks," Tracy answered. She frowned as she looked at Glenn, who had closed his eyes and leaned his head against Merle's chest. "He looks really pale, Merle... We should pick up the pace."

Merle nodded and hefted the boy up closer against himself. He was already going about as quickly as possible without being reckless. Running through the street while carrying a child was dangerous, as a walker could come out of an alley at any second and ambush him. He hugged Glenn tight against his chest and tried to jog faster. "Hang on, kiddo. Stay with me..."

"Merle?" Glenn's voice was very small. "I feel really tired... and kind of dizzy."

"Just hang tight, Glenn. We're gonna sort this out," Merle promised.

Glenn groaned and then looked up at Merle, blinking a few times as though waking up from a dream. "Am I dying?" he asked in a small, breathless whisper.

"No. You ain't dyin'," Merle answered as he jogged faster. He was almost running now as the hospital came into view. It looked a lot how any hospital would always look, except a bit less put together. A few windows on the bottom floor were broken and cars were driven up to and parked right at the door. "I can see the hospital, Glenn. We're almost there... You're gonna be okay. There's doctors here who can fix you up good as new." He certainly hoped that was true.

Glenn shivered in his arms and Merle could feel the kid's grip that had been against Merle's collar was growing limp.

"Hold on you little fucker," Merle growled as he hugged Glenn tight and began to run toward the entrance of the hospital. He didn't care if the women kept up. He didn't need them anymore. "You're gonna be fuckin' fine. Hold on... Keep fighting, but don't be scared. You'll get through this."

"Dad?" Glenn's voice was weak and he sounded very confused.

Merle swallowed. "It's me, Glenn," he answered, not wanting to straight up tell the kid that it wasn't his father holding him, but not wanting to come out and say otherwise either. If thinking he was with his dad right now would bring Glenn comfort, Merle supposed he wouldn't take that away. "We're almost there."

Glenn made a small whimpering noise between shallow breaths, but didn't seem to be holding onto Merle anymore. He was almost completely limp.

Merle rushed up to the hospital's doors. Two armed guards opened them and a woman dressed in scrubs and holding a clipboard ran up to him next. "Get a gurney over here! Now!" She yelled to someone Merle couldn't see.

"He was shot in the leg. He's lost a lot of blood," Merle explained. "Happened about ten minutes ago. He was conscious up until now. He seems confused, said he was dizzy and tired."

"What's his name?" she asked, putting her hand against Glenn's forehead.

Merle frowned, certain that information wasn't relevant. "Glenn..."

"Was he bitten?" The woman asked, writing down notes on her clip board as another woman and a man also wearing scrubs pushed a small gurney bed out into the space between the two sets of doors separating the hospital from the street.

Merle shook his head as he carefully laid Glenn down on the bed. "No. Just shot. Right here." He nodded toward the boy's leg with his shirt wrapped tightly around it. The entire garment was soaked through a dark shade of red now.

"Do you know his blood type?" The woman asked after making another mark on the paper.

Merle shook his head, glancing toward Glenn who looked sweaty and pale, but who was no longer showing any signs of being at all alert. His head lolled to the side.

"Is he allergic to-" the woman started.

"I don't fucking know!" Merle growled. "I don't know fucking anything about him. Just that he's shot in the fucking leg. Would you god damn help him?"

"We'll do what we can." She nodded, placing her clipboard at the foot of the gurney. "Arthur, Meg, take him upstairs. Be quick. Tell the doctor he's not bitten but we don't know anything else. Transfusion, if needed will be type O. Get an oxygen mask on him. Make it quick. Sir?" She turned back toward Merle. "I'll take you to a waiting area. Ladies?" She looked behind Merle at the two women, Tracy and Nora. "Do you need medical care, or are you with them?"

"We're with them," Tracy answered.

"Right this way." She led them into a hallway, where Merle could see Glenn being wheeled off into an elevator. This building must have had some kind of back up generator or solar power. Everything still worked in here. There was even air conditioning. Too bad he couldn't enjoy it. He watched the elevator doors close, wondering if that was the last time he'd ever see the kid.

Merle swallowed as he stared at the closed doors. Glenn had looked so tiny and weak on that bed. What if these people weren't even real doctors? What if they were, but didn't care about people anymore since the world ended? Why would they all be willing to work for free? There wasn't even money anymore... Not that people got paid with and could use for anything. This place seemed too good to be true.

"Sir," the woman from by the doors spoke up again. "This way." She led them toward the same elevator Glenn had been taken into and waited for it to return before stepping in and pressing a button. Merle, Tracy, and Nora walked in with her, though Merle couldn't see why the women were making this into their problem. He really wished they'd just leave so he could suffer through this without their annoying presence.

"I'm Elizabeth. I'm going to keep you all updated on how Glenn is doing," the woman told them. "As soon as I hear anything, I'll report right back to you. We've got a lot of great doctors here. Everyone is very caring and skilled, and gunshots are one of the most common injuries we deal with these days. He's in good hands."

Merle scowled back at her. He was so pissed off right now. It was bad enough that he'd accidentally gotten attached to this kid, but the poor little guy seemed to be a magnet to danger.

"I'm going to get you three settled in, and then I'll go check and see how things are going. Are any of you a parent, sibling? How are you related to him?" She asked as she led them into a waiting room where a few other people were already sitting. How many people were using the apocalyptic hospital anyway?

Merle shook his head and rolled his eyes. "None of us is related... You saw he was an Asian, right?"

Elizabeth exhaled. "People adopt every day, many families are blended... There's no way to tell who's related and who isn't anymore. You could be his uncle or something... or step-father..."

"I just met him like four days ago." Merle told her. "He was all alone. I took him in." He ignored the looks Tracy and Nora gave him. He was about tired of people treating him like he was a good person when he sure as fuck wasn't. "These bitches was just out in the street getting attacked by rapists or somethin' and we stopped to help. Neither of us really knows them," he added.

"Fuck you, Merle," Nora finally spoke up after a very long stint of silence from her. Merle almost smirked at her reaction, but was too worried about Glenn to really enjoy it.

"Nora, stop," Tracy put her hand on Nora's shoulder. She looked back at Elizabeth. "We trade supplies with Merle. We were supposed to meet up with him today. We got ambushed by four men before we got there. Glenn and Merle heard us, I guess... and came to help. That's when the kid got shot." She looked down as though she felt guilty.

Elizabeth glanced back at Merle with narrowed eyes and then looked back toward Tracy. "Well... sounds like you're all emotionally invested in some way... I'll let you know how things progress. We're going to do everything we can. I promise you that. The vending machines in the hall still have a couple options left. There's quarters in a bucket next to the soda machine if you want anything. I'll come back as soon as I know anything."

With that, she stood and left, leaving Merle alone with the two women.

Merle exhaled loudly and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He wished he could convince himself to just let this go and move on. He'd told himself back when he met Glenn that he wasn't ever going to get that attached. A couple days ago he'd been ready to beat the kid half to death himself. He shouldn't care about this. Whether Glenn lived or died shouldn't have mattered to him... But it did.

"How did you two meet each other?" Tracy wondered, bringing Merle out of his thoughts.

Merle almost chose to ignore her, but decided against it. "He ran into me on the street... Like physically ran into me. Collided with me and fell down on his ass in front of me. That's how I met him. You two can go now," he added, not necessarily enjoying the company he never asked for.

"That was really kind of you to take him in, Merle," Tracy went on. "He's lucky he ran into you and not someone else. There are awful people out there... I mean, surely you saw those men back in the road..."

Merle nodded. "You don't even have any idea, lady," he grumbled.

"What do you mean?" Tracy asked.

"I mean you should'a seen the sons of bitches who shot Glenn's cousin right in fucking front of 'im and tried to rape him," Merle stared at her, hoping to make her uncomfortable enough to want to leave. "He got away, and then ran into 'em again a couple days later. They tried to do it again."

Tracy stared back with furrowed brows and her mouth hanging slightly open.

"You thought that gross fucker groping all over Uhura's tits was bad. Wait til you see a god damned grown man holding a little boy face down on a counter top, tryin' to pull his underwear off while two of his nasty ass friends watch," Merle explained. "There's no god damned end to how fuckin' sick people are these days."

"Oh my god," Tracy frowned. She seemed almost ready to cry. "It didn't happen though, right? He got away?"

Merle shrugged. "I shot 'em all. He got away before they could... you know..."

"You saved him from them?" Nora spoke up, sounding less pissed off now.

Merle shrugged. "Kinda had to... I'm a bastard, but there's a limit, you know."

Nora nodded. "You saved us too... Even if you didn't really want to."

"Glenn ran off toward your fuckin' screams. I had to follow," Merle frowned, even though he couldn't honestly say he wouldn't have found a rooftop and picked off Nora's and Tracy's attackers himself even if Glenn weren't there to force him to confront the men quicker and more intimately. A lot of women annoyed him - particularly angry black ones, but he wasn't into letting rapists and molesters torment people. If Glenn hadn't been with him, Merle would have at best been at least interested in the screams, would have found a safe spot to observe, and upon seeing the man groping the black woman, probably would have decided to shoot him through the skull from a distance.

"You didn't have to," Tracy shook her head. "You act like you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself, and I don't doubt you have no care in the world for the two of us, but you care about him. I can see that... I never thought I'd see the day, considering you've been all alone every time you traded with us... I didn't know you cared about anyone."

"I don't. This kid works for me. I want him to live so he can keep working. Not like it's any of your business... Hey, your kid Karen or whatever, did these people fix her okay? She alright after coming here?" Merle wondered.

"Yeah," Tracy nodded with a small smile. "Candice. She's fine. Healthiest little three year old left in the world, maybe. They were really good with her. This is the best place you could have taken him, Merle. Trust me on that. They're good with kids."

Merle nodded and looked around the room with an exhale. Near a window sat a single young woman with blood spattered all over her arms, chest, and face. A few seats down were a couple teenagers with what looked to be their father. The father had dried blood on his hands. Across the room was an older woman who was softly crying, but didn't have any blood or dirt on her. He could hardly believe so many people were here. There was even a woman sitting at the reception desk. They were all acting like the world hadn't ended months ago.

"You guys don't have to stay," Merle said again, looking back toward the two women. He noticed they were holding hands. "You two lezbos or somethin'?"

Nora rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You're such an ass. You better be being kind to that little boy, Merle. You might think he's just a worker for you. Maybe you think it's funny that he trusts you with his life, that you're all he has left... But it's not a game. If you really did find him all alone, after he saw his cousin get murdered, after he escaped from-" she stopped herself, unable to go on. "Please don't treat him like you treat the rest of the world, Merle. He's been through enough."

Merle laughed dryly. "Not really your business, Beyonce."

"I take that as a compliment, you prick," Nora scowled back.

Merle offered a genuine laugh this time. To an extent, he enjoyed fiery reactions like that. "Still didn't answer whether or not y'all are lezzies. And you can still fuckin' leave. I never asked you to follow me up here."

"I want to know that he's okay," Tracy told him with a pout.

Merle groaned. "Once they tell us he's fine, will you go?" He asked. "I ain't really a people-person."

"That's an understatement," Nora crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back.

"We'll go when we know he's okay," Tracy agreed.

"Fuckin' good," Merle leaned back as well, wanting to ignore the women's existence, but finding it difficult with them leaning against each other, holding hands like a couple. "Are y'all munchin' each other's rugs or what?" He finally asked again.

Nora stared back at him with wide eyes and her mouth hanging slightly open. Tracy scowled back.

"I know it ain't my business," Merle went on. "I'll bet the two of you get real nasty at night, yin-yanging it up, sixty-nineing. Chocolate and vanilla all mixed into one giant lez-fest, rug-munching god damn mess. I guess the apocalypse'll do that to ya. Not enough men left so y'all just start doin' each other or what?"

"Merle!" Tracy finally spoke up. "You're right. It's not your business."

"I'll take that as a yes," Merle scoffed and stood up. "I'm goin' for a walk."

xxxxxx


	20. Never Look Back

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Chapter 20

xxxxxx

Merle exhaled loudly as he made his way into the hallway. It was bad enough he was stuck here, and it was bad enough he'd accidentally become responsible for a little twelve year old kid... Now these dumb bitches were up his ass too? Were they gonna be his next fucking project? He'd played a hand in saving their sorry asses just like he had with Glenn - only much less willingly.

He knew one thing for sure - there was no way in hell he and Glenn were going to join these women in whatever Kumbaya bullshit they had going on wherever they were living. Maybe Glenn would fit in with something like that. Merle most certainly wouldn't.

Merle paced down the hallway toward a line of vending machines. Sure enough, they were all lit up - they were the only thing in the hallway that was lit up. The hospital may have had power, but it seemed that it was perhaps limited, and they were trying to save energy.

Walking up to the machines, Merle noticed the bucket of quarters next to the first one. That lady wasn't lying. They were giving all this shit away for free and just trusting that no one would steal the money. On a normal day, Merle would have taken off with that bucket without a second thought. He didn't really have any use for money now though... and there was probably not even twenty dollars worth of coins in there anyway.

He sighed and stared at the machine, looking more at his reflection than the drink options. He looked like hell... He hadn't really looked at himself in a while. Even the mirror in the bathroom at the funeral home he didn't normally pay attention to.

Merle continued staring at his own reflection. He was dirty, scuffed up, had a huge stain on the front of his once-white under-shirt... That was Glenn's blood. He'd held the boy right up against his chest and his blood had been gushing out, all over the left side of Merle's shirt, down over his pants. Merle probably had more of the kid's blood on him than the kid had on himself.

He looked back up at his pale blue eyes. He looked angry, but also almost sad. It wasn't an emotion Merle allowed himself to feel most of the time. Usually just various degrees of anger sufficed. He'd be sort of angry if he tripped over a rock, medium-angry if someone driving in front of him drove like a dipshit, and pissed-angry if he got caught with drugs and got arrested. There was no room for sadness, but he felt it now, and it hurt much more than anger.

Swallowing, Merle let his eyes go out of focus as he stared ahead, ignoring his reflection now and contemplating what to do next. Glenn could die in this hospital. For all Merle knew, the kid was already dead. He really didn't look well when Merle put him down on that gurney and watched him wheeled away. He had passed out, looked pale... and before that, he'd been clearly confused, was shaking, and breathing like each breath was a race.

Merle wanted Glenn to be okay. He wanted everything to be how it was this morning - for Glenn to want to stay with him, for Merle to allow it, and for the two of them to be almost equal partners in Merle's trading business (with Merle more in charge than Glenn though, obviously.) He wanted Glenn to be there as company - as a funny little kid to joke around with, try to piss off and see what kind of reaction he could get... He liked that Glenn sort of forced him to talk about real things that he would have otherwise kept to himself. It wasn't easy to get Merle to talk about anything that wasn't racial slurs and sexist jokes. But Glenn had done it.

What he'd gotten wasn't just Glenn being his funny little business partner but that in addition to responsibility and heartache. Merle didn't want to hear that Glenn had died, and it was for more reasons than just losing a helping hand. He actually fucking liked this kid. He felt like news of anything other than Glenn being fine with a quick and full recovery ahead of him might actually break his heart - a heart he didn't even know he had. And even if Glenn lived this time, Merle would just get him into more trouble later and get him killed somehow or another.

Merle shook his head to himself. Maybe he didn't need to know how this ended. Not knowing whether or not Daryl was alive was working out great for him. He assumed Daryl was fine and didn't think much else about it. He didn't consider the possibility that his younger brother could have died. Maybe he needed to let Glenn go in a similar manner - leave him here, run off, and never look back.

If Glenn died, Merle would never know. If he lived, he could stay with the lesbians and their group with the kids and the happy safe bullshit, returning library books and taking their kids to actual fucking doctors for dislocated limbs instead of half-ass fixing them in funeral homes. He bet the lesbians wouldn't scream at him or throw things trying to scare him on purpose. They wouldn't take him out into the street and get him involved in gun fights with strangers. Merle noticed the women back in the waiting room hadn't brought any of their kids with them to make their trade. They never had... And none of their kids were in a hospital, half-dead from being shot. Probably hadn't ever come within an inch of being gang-raped either.

Merle looked to the side when he heard someone cough. Another man was standing in the hallway further down, probably also waiting to hear if someone he cared about was alive or not. He was a black guy and looked to be in his thirties or so. Merle grimaced and shook his head. He hadn't seen so many living people all in one day in a long time, and certainly wasn't enjoying it. The best part about the apocalypse had been all the people being dead...

Looking around, Merle attempted to locate something to write with and something to write on. He settled on a comment card that was in a stack on a shelf along the wall. It looked like something patients could fill out to critique their doctors and nurses. Merle turned it over and scribbled down a quick note to the lesbians, telling them he'd be back, but if he didn't return, that they should take Glenn in. He knew they would too. They were here right now, worried about a kid they hadn't even ever formally met. Of course they'd take him in.

He hoped Glenn would assumed Merle had gone out for a smoke or something and had been eaten alive. The boy seemed to not feel abandoned by his uncle after the man disappeared. Glenn knew Henry was probably dead. Maybe he'd assume Merle was too, if Glenn even ever woke up...

Merle folded the paper in half, scribbled a big yin-yang on it - his way of addressing it to the black and white lesbian couple without acknowledging that they had names. He stuck it into the corner of the glass on the vending machine. Surely they'd head out there for a drink at some point... Or someone would find it... He specifically mentioned Glenn in the note, so surely these dense fuckers could figure it out.

He looked down the hallway again, both ways. Besides for the one man, who seemed to glance back at him, no one else was around. The entire building was pretty quiet as a whole. Merle wondered if they had all the floors cleared of the dead or were just using this one. Considering the world had all but ended, this place seemed pretty busy, but compared to before the apocalypse, it looked like a ghost town.

Merle groaned audibly and rolled his eyes as the black man down the hall started walking toward him. He really didn't have time for any more small talk with people he didn't give a fuck about. Merle turned and started down the hall away from the guy.

"Hey!" The man called after him, his voice every bit as annoying as Merle expected.

Merle continued walking, even faster. There were too many black people in this city. They never seemed to get the hint that he didn't want to talk to them either.

"Hey! Sir! Hey!" The man persisted as he began jogging after him.

Merle exhaled loudly. "What?" He turned toward the man.

"You got a smoke?" The guy asked.

Merle offered a small, sarcastic laugh as he shook his head slightly. Of course this black kid would ask for charity from him. What had he expected? "If you take it and don't fucking talk to me," Merle answered.

"Oh... okay, sure," The man answered with a nervous smile.

Merle fished a cigarette out of his pocket and threw it at the guy's chest. It bounced off and hit the floor as Merle walked toward the elevator.

"Asshole," the man murmured.

Merle shook his head. Ordinarily, he may have turned back around and punched this stupid fuck, but he didn't care enough to this time. He just wanted to get out of here.

He took the elevator down, told the guards at the door that he was stepping outside to smoke and would be back in ten minutes, and headed back toward home. It would be better this way. Glenn didn't need someone like Merle putting him in danger all the time. He needed to be with people who wouldn't put him into situations with rapists and killers. Glenn deserved to be a child for a bit longer.

xxxxxx


	21. Guardian

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Chapter 21

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Glenn groaned and blinked his eyes as he came out of what felt like a dream. He didn't remember dreaming anything though. He breathed in small, steady breaths as he stared up at the ceiling, at large, rectangular lights similar to the ones at his old school.

Frowning, he looked around the room. Where was he? There wasn't school anymore... Not since the world ended. There weren't even lights anymore. He heard a faint beeping sound and noticed he was lying in a bed with a curtain pulled half-way around it. It was a hospital bed.

Glenn felt his breathing increasing as his mind and memories put this all together. He remembered running toward the sounds of screaming. He took down several walkers, and his arm hurt so bad every time. He had planned on not using that arm for the next several days, because the man who'd tried to hurt him - the man who killed Sam, had pulled it too hard and had dislocated it.

But that wasn't why he was here... There was something more. The throbbing in his leg reminded him of that. He'd been shot.

He looked down. His legs were covered in hospital sheets and his injured one was propped up on a pillow. He wiggled his toes slightly, happy to see that they were indeed still down there.

"You're awake," a smiling man noted as he paced over to Glenn's bed. "I'm Allan. I'm a nurse here. I've been keeping an eye on you, waiting for you to wake up. How are you feeling?"

Glenn swallowed. His throat felt dry and he felt very cold. "What-" He paused, swallowing again as he tried to articulate whatever fuzzy thought was buzzing around his head. "Where am I?"

"You're in a hospital," Allan explained.

"What- Am I okay? Did I have surgery? I feel really confused..." Glenn mumbled, feeling close to falling asleep again as he exhaled and closed his eyes.

"You did have surgery. It went well. That's why you're feeling so tired. You were under anesthesia. You were shot in the leg. Do you remember that?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Glenn answered in a small voice that was barely above a whisper. "We were trying to help people... Some bad men were attacking them, making them kill gee- er... walkers... Is Merle here?"

The nurse nodded. "He and a couple women brought you here."

"Women? Are they okay?" Glenn wondered. Those were the people he had been trying to help when this happened.

"They're alright," Allan told him. "I have a couple questions I want to ask you before we let any visitors back here. First, are you comfortable? Any pain?"

"My leg hurts," Glenn shrugged. "And I'm cold... and thirsty."

"Alright. Scale of one to ten. How bad does your leg hurt right now? Ten would be that it's so bad you can't even stand it - the worst pain of your life. One is just a little annoying."

"Mmm... Maybe a... um... Five?" Glenn wasn't really sure how to use this scale. He supposed the pain could be a lot worse. It was tolerable.

"Do you know how to swallow pills?" Allan asked.

Glenn frowned. "Yeah...?" That was a weird question. Didn't everyone know how to swallow pills?

"Some kids find it difficult." Allan shrugged, sensing Glenn's confusion.

"Oh... Well, I know how to do it," Glenn reaffirmed.

"I'm going to go get you some water, pain meds, and another blanket. I'll be right back," Allan smiled and stepped back into the main room.

Glenn swallowed as he looked around some more. He noticed he was wearing a hospital gown and not much else. He frowned and pushed the sides and bottom of the gown down to make sure he was fully covered. Did this mean the doctors saw him naked? Glenn felt his cheeks growing hot. That was embarrassing...

He lifted the blanket up away from his left thigh, which was where he'd been shot. It was wrapped with a white bandage. He couldn't even see the injury. He looked at his hand, where an IV was stuck. He shuddered. He really didn't like needles and hadn't ever had an IV before.

He looked up toward the end of the bed where a television was set up, somehow hooked up to the ceiling. It wasn't turned on though. There probably weren't any stations still broadcasting.

"Here we are," Allan's voice was cheerful as he made his way back into the room, placed a styrofoam cup of water and a small cup with a pill in it on a table near Glenn's head and draped the blanket carefully over his legs and stomach. "Warm enough now?" He wondered, closing the curtain around the bed and sitting down on a chair next to Glenn.

Glenn nodded as he swallowed the pill and took a cautious sip of water. He looked down at himself again. "Does this mean the doctors saw me naked?" He asked in a small voice.

Allan smiled slightly. "Don't worry about that, Glenn," he assured him. "Doctors and nurses don't think anything about stuff like that, so don't worry. They were just focused on fixing your leg and keeping everything clean."

"Okay..." Glenn reluctantly accepted that answer. It wasn't like he could do anything about it.

"Alright, so these are just a couple questions and concerns we had while we were treating you... Do you know your blood type first of all?" he asked.

Glenn shook his head. He'd never been asked that. He bet his parents would have known.

"And this one isn't that important for your medical care, but just so we have it on record - we've used this stuff to reunite friends and relatives a couple times in the past... What's your last name? The people you were with didn't know it."

"Oh," Glenn laughed. It never occurred to him that he'd never told Merle his full name. "Rhee," he answered, spelling it out for the nurse.

Allan shook his head. "Don't think we've had any other Rhees around here."

"They're from Michigan," Glenn shrugged with a frown. "I was visiting my uncle and cousin. They're both dead."

"Oh... I'm sorry," Allan frowned.

"Well, I mean, I think my uncle's dead. His name's Henry Rhee... He's maybe like thirty five or forty years old... He's Korean. Maybe if anyone brought him in and he was unconscious or something you wouldn't know who he is? Did you guys have any people like that?" Glenn felt a slight twinge of hope.

Allan offered a tight smile and shook his head. "Sorry..."

Glenn smiled slightly back. "That's okay... It was a long shot."

"So there are a couple other things we were wondering about... These people who brought you in, how do you know them? How long have you been traveling with them?" Allan asked.

"They didn't tell you?" Glenn frowned. "I've known Merle for five days. I moved in with him after my cousin died. The ladies, I don't know. We found them in the street being attacked by bad people and we helped them. I guess they came with us when I got shot. There was a man with them too, but he got... eaten."

Allan nodded. "So Merle invited you to stay with him?"

"Yeah, I mean kinda... I asked him, and then he said no, but then he changed his mind. We've been living together at a f-" he stopped. Merle hadn't wanted anyone to know where he lived. "A factory..." Glenn corrected his near mis-step.

"Is he nice to you?" Allan asked.

Glenn shrugged. "I guess. Mostly."

"What do you mean, mostly?" Allan wondered.

"Well, he makes mean jokes and swears and stuff. Yells sometimes," Glenn answered, feeling his shoulders slump as a frown showed up on Allan's lips. "He's nice though... I like him. He's okay. He saved me lots of times and gives me pop tarts... I mean, he brought me here... He could have let me die and he didn't."

Allan nodded. "That's okay. I'm sure he's nice. I'm not trying to say he isn't. Don't worry. I'm just asking you questions I ask everyone. It's nothing to be concerned about, okay?" He finished with a rather forced-looking smile.

"It seems like maybe you don't like Merle and think he's mean to me, but he's not," Glenn frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "He lets me stay with him, and even gave me a blanket and a pillow last night."

"He doesn't usually give you those things?" Allan asked.

Glenn opened his mouth to answer, but wasn't sure what this man was trying to do. "Well... I don't need those things... Why are you asking me all this?"

"Has he ever hurt you?" Allan went on.

Glenn pouted. He didn't want to answer that, because this man would just turn it around. Merle had hurt him, but only on purpose that one time, and it was after Glenn had hit him first, in the heat of the moment, and Merle apologized. Allan wouldn't understand.

"There's no reason to hide anything or cover anything up. If you're scared of him, we won't make you leave with him. There are enough staff here-" Allan began.

"No!" Glenn interrupted, feeling his breathing rate increasing. "He's nice... I want to stay with him. Please let me stay. He didn't do anything!"

"Can you explain what happened to you to leave all of those bruises?" Allan nodded toward his wrists and then looked at his covered torso. "Whatever that was, it looks like it was pretty violent. I'm only trying to make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine," Glenn frowned. "Those bruises are from someone else."

"Go on," Allan stared back at him.

Glenn swallowed and bit his lower lip. He didn't like this guy anymore. He was too demanding. Glenn didn't want to talk about this, especially not with this random stranger. "I don't have to tell you," Glenn finally said.

Allan looked back with raised eyebrows. "I don't have to let Merle visit you back here either, and I'm not going to if I think he's been hurting you."

"He hasn't!" Glenn insisted. "Please!" He felt tears stinging his eyes and his leg started to hurt even more. "Merle didn't do anything... Some guys-" His breath hitched in his throat. This was really the last thing he wanted to talk about.

"Yes?" Allan looked back. When Glenn took a few minutes to keep going and sniffed back tears instead, Allan's tone softened. "I'm really not trying to be the bad guy, here... You understand that, right? This man brought you in here, doesn't know your blood type or even your last name... He knows nothing about you... You've got dark bruises all over your arms, on your chest and stomach... A split lip... It doesn't look good. I just don't want to let a man who's been hurting you come back and visit you. I've talked to lots of children in my years at this hospital - children with injuries a lot like yours... and it was their parents or coaches or babysitters - people who brought them here... And even when they were scared and didn't want to tell me what happened, I had to make sure not to let their abusers come into the room and make things worse. I just need to know what's going on. There may not be laws or prisons or much of any sort of order in the world anymore, but if I can use the number of people we have here to prevent a child abuser from keeping his hold over a child, I'm gonna do it... Was he the one who hurt you? Has he ever hit your or threatened you? Do you feel scared around him?"

Glenn swallowed a lump in his throat. He wasn't going to tell Allan about the times Merle had threatened or scared him. He wouldn't say that Merle hit him or held onto him tightly and forced him to kill walkers. He wasn't going to tell Allan about the time Merle threw vases and knocked over shelves on purpose while ranting about wanting to break Glenn's bones. In a way, Glenn felt like he had grown to understand Merle a lot better than most of the world did. The man had a very tough exterior, and wanted people to be scared of him, but deep down, he was kind.

Even though Glenn really didn't want to explain his injuries, he figured he probably had to. The only other alternative was having Allan believe Merle was responsible.

"It was three guys I ran into... They grabbed me and pushed me against a counter top..." Glenn sniffed and felt his lower lip trembling as he looked away from Allan's eyes. "He was trying to take my pants off, so I fought back and then he hit me, on my mouth and in the stomach until I couldn't fight anymore. He-" Glenn inhaled and looked down at his lap. "He was going to hurt me... he even said so... but Merle found us and stopped him."

"Why did he stop them?" Allan asked.

"Because he knew they were bad," Glenn answered. "Merle and I are friends... We didn't get along perfectly at first, but we're friends now. He wouldn't let someone do something like that to me."

Allan looked confused. "So that's when you met?"

"No," Glenn shook his head. "Those same people killed my cousin a few days before, and tried to hurt me then, but I got away. That's when I met Merle, when I was running away from them. I ran into Merle in an alley. And then he does trades with people with supplies they find. Those were one of the groups he did trades with. He sent me to give them the stuff and get the stuff they brought. He didn't know they were bad. He came to check on me and saved me from them."

"Okay," Allan nodded. "So he didn't cause any of these bruises. Those guys did."

Glenn nodded quickly. "That's right. Merle wouldn't hurt me. He kind of adopted me... maybe..."

Allan narrowed his eyes. "And those women? You just met them?"

Glenn nodded. "They can visit too if they want... If they're still here."

"Alright..." Allan seemed almost unconvinced. "You're probably going to have to stay here a week or two to heal... Maybe as long as a month. We can let Merle and even Nora and Tracy stay too if they want. We have so many empty rooms these days. We try to have people who stay here and aren't patients help out with work around here if they can. Mostly just cleaning or supply runs. If they don't mind pulling their weight, we've got plenty of nice rooms."

Glenn nodded. He wasn't sure Merle would really want to work for these people in exchange for a room. He frowned as he looked down at his leg. "How bad is it?" He wondered. "Will I be able to walk still?"

Allan nodded. "I think so. We'll have your doctor check in and give you updates. From what I understand, you'll probably need crutches or a wheel chair for a week or so and then we'll see if we can't get you walking again. "

"Oh... Good." Glenn exhaled and leaned back. He couldn't believe he'd been shot. He wished Sam were still here, in a bed right next to him. His wound was too serious... and he'd been bitten already. Glenn would have given anything for Sam to have been as lucky as him, for them to be in this together, recovering and making jokes about bullet wounds when they felt frustrated or in pain, to make themselves and each other feel better.

"I'm going to have you fill this form out." Allan handed him a clipboard with two sheets of paper on it as well as a pen. "For now, we'll do with verbal consent - which of the three people who brought you in are you okay with being told your health information? Normally we'll share info with a parent or guardian... There aren't exactly consequences for us sharing health information with the wrong people anymore..." He trailed off.

"You can tell all three of them. I don't care," Glenn answered as he looked down at the sheet. There were a lot of questions, including asking his birth date, social security number, place and address of residence. "I don't know all the answers to these questions," Glenn looked up with a frown.

"Just do your best. We're trying to keep track of everyone who comes through here, so the more information the better. There could be other people with your same name, maybe even the same birthday and age... The more information we have, the more likely if someone you know ever shows up here, we can try to reunite you. It's happened before."

Glenn looked back down at the paper and started filling it out. The only people he knew in Atlanta were Sam and Henry. Sam was definitely gone. Henry probably was too. He supposed it couldn't hurt though. His parents knew he was coming here to stay with Sam. Maybe one day they'd make it down to Georgia and try to find him.

"Did you want just one visitor for now? Or all three?" Allan wondered.

Glenn shrugged. "They can all come if they want... Do the ladies really want to visit?" He wondered. They didn't even know him.

"They've seemed very worried about you, and have been waiting out there for hours. Meanwhile Merle's been pacing around impatiently... I might have to send someone down the hallways to track him down. Last I checked, he wasn't in the waiting room," Allan explained.

Glenn looked up from the paper. "He didn't leave, did he?" He frowned. Maybe this was the last straw. Glenn couldn't deny that he'd caused a lot of extra trouble for Merle. Merle had specifically told him not to follow the sounds of screaming, and he'd ignored the man...

"I'm sure he's around somewhere," Allan answered.

"I hope so..." Glenn looked back down at the paper.

"I doubt he would have left. He brought you all the way here. He's got to care on some level... I'll fill them all in on everything and bring them back. Keep filling that out," Allan instructed.

Glenn nodded and looked down at the paper, writing in his full name, birth date, and his family members' names. It looked like they created this form specifically for the end of the world, because it asked him to list people or groups he'd been traveling with or living with too, as well as a space for a current parent or guardian next to the space where he'd written his parents' names. He guessed a lot of kids weren't living with their actual parents these days.

Glenn frowned and stared down at the paper. Was Merle his guardian now? He left that space blank for now and filled out the rest, but didn't include where he and Merle had been living. He did mention his living situation with Sam and Henry, but didn't know their address.

He went on to fill in his medical history as best as he knew it - which wasn't all that well, wrote that he wasn't allergic to anything that he knew of, and tried his best to remember what sicknesses various family members of his had suffered. He was pretty sure one of his great grandmas had some kind of cancer, but didn't die from it. It was hard to remember, especially right now while he still felt fairly tired and groggy.

He went back to the blank for his current guardian. He could put Merle's name there... it wasn't like there was anyone else in the world who was more of a guardian to him than Merle was... but their relationship may have been more of business partners than anything else. He didn't even know the man's last name. Just writing down 'Merle' would look ridiculous.

With his pen still hovering over the empty space, Glenn looked up from the form as he heard the curtain being pulled carefully open, revealing Allan with the two women from the street.

"Where's Merle?" Glenn frowned.

One of the women, Tracy opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it quickly and looked nervously toward the other woman, Nora. Glenn did remember their faces, now that he was seeing them again. They both looked like they knew something they both wanted to tell him and wanted to keep from him at the same time.

"He left, didn't he?" Glenn could feel tears in his eyes.

Nora shook her head slightly as Tracy finally spoke up. "We're not sure... He left us a note... It's, uh... Kind of unclear..."

"Can I see it?" Glenn asked.

The blonde woman handed him a folded up paper with a yin-yang doodled messily on the front. He wasn't sure what that meant. Why would Merle draw that?

"Ignore who it's addressed to... It was... um..." Nora exhaled. "A joke, I guess..."

Glenn unfolded the paper and read it:

'Yin Yang Rug-Munchers,

If he lives through this and wakes up, tell Glenn I'll be right back. If I don't come back, assume I'm dead and let him stay with you once he's recovered. Take better care of him than I did and don't drag him all over the city. Keep him safe like he's one of your own kids.'

Glenn frowned. That sounded an awful lot like he was leaving on purpose and didn't plan to come back. "Is he mad at me?" Glenn looked up from the note.

"What?" Nora frowned. "Why would he be?"

"He told me not to run toward the noises when I heard you guys screaming. I didn't listen, and I got us into trouble. It's my fault I got shot. He warned me..." Glenn sniffed back tears.

Nora shook her head as she shuffled past Tracy and Allan and sat down next to the bed, gripping Glenn's hand in hers, "Honey, if he's mad at you for risking something to help other people, let him be mad. I for one am really glad you decided to help us, and I'm never going to look at you as anything less than a hero for doing what you did."

"You can stay with us if we don't hear from Merle again," Tracy chimed in. "Even if we do hear from him again, you can still stay with us - he's not your father. I'm not your mother... It'll be up to you. You can still choose to stay with him even, but you're welcome to stay with us."

Glenn sighed and looked down at the clip board still in his hands. He looked at the blank space next to the question asking who his current guardian was. He didn't have one. He left it blank and handed it back to Allan.

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	22. Glenn's Letters

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Chapter 22

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Merle walked down the road, taking out every single walker he saw, regardless of if he really had to. It was sort of therapeutic to release his rage on them. Knowing he could stab someone right in the motherfucking skull without it really being wrong was so liberating.

He made his way back toward the library, where he was supposed to make his trade with the lesbians and the white lady's dad. That sure as fuck hadn't gone as planned. He had no real reason to go back there. Even so, he made his way up the stairs and toward the door. Maybe Glenn was right when he suggested that they should take books from here. Might as well... Things got pretty fucking boring during the day, and would be even more boring now that Merle was back to living on his own. He couldn't even meet up with most of his trade groups anymore. One group was dead, and the other would probably try to make him feel guilty for leaving Glenn - or worse - give him news about the kid he really didn't want to hear. If Glenn didn't live through this, Merle didn't need to know.

Merle walked into the building, trying to avoid looking at the puddle of blood on the front desk. He couldn't help but to glance toward it. It was all over the top of the surface and a few lines had dripped down onto the floor and pooled there as well. That was a lot of blood for someone as small as Glenn to lose. Even so, the poor kid had remained conscious through it all. He must have been so scared... Merle would have even been scared if he, himself was bleeding that much.

Swallowing and shaking his head, Merle looked away and made his way down the aisles of books. He never did understand how they were organized. He remembered teachers attempting to teach him about card catalogs and call numbers in grade school, but he never could understand it. There were different sections for the different types of books, non-fiction, fiction... It was stupid. Why not just put them all alphabetically by topic or something? He didn't even know where to begin with that fucking card catalog.

Merle wasn't much into reading, probably thanks to the library being a fucking enigma, but maybe he could give it a shot. Other people seemed to like it... Surely they weren't all just pretentious dip shits trying to look smart and act superior because they'd read a lot of books instead of doing something real. Maybe reading really could be fun.

He scanned the aisles, picking up an occasional book and reading the back. They all looked terrible. Stories of hardship and dangerous adventures had sort of lost their charm lately. He glanced toward a more colorful shelf with short books for older kids. That's probably what Glenn would have been into. He wondered what kind of stuff Glenn would have read.

He walked over to the shelf and looked at it. The kids books looked a lot less awful than the adult ones - they were all about dragons and wizards and animals. There were informational ones about history, science, cars, and sports - all colorful with lots of pictures to keep kids interested.

If Glenn were here, he probably could have found ten or twenty books to keep him busy over the next week until they returned... Merle wasn't into any of this garbage.

He made his way out of the library and headed back toward the funeral home. It didn't matter what Glenn would have wanted. If he lived through the latest ordeal Merle had accidentally led him into, the lesbians could adopt him and bring him all the dumb books he could ever want. He wouldn't even have to risk his life for it. He could read them to Tracy's kid. Act like he had a little sister again. He was always droning on and on about having sisters. Maybe Glenn would like to have a little girl to play with again like old times. Merle certainly couldn't offer that kind of thing to him.

On the way to the funeral home, Merle took out even more walkers, enjoying the crunching sound of his knife piercing their skulls. He hated these gross sons of bitches, but he sure as hell loved putting them down.

Once he made it home, he pulled the heavy doors open, stepped inside, closed and locked them, and walked into his kitchen. It was starting to get dark already. That walk to the library and short wait in the hospital had taken longer than he'd thought. Maybe putting down almost every walker he saw on the way back home slowed him down a bit more than usual too though.

He grabbed a gallon of water and splashed it over his hands and arms, cleaning the remnants of Glenn's dried blood off of himself. He looked down at his clothing and swallowed back bile. The boy's blood had drenched his shirt and had run down one of his pant legs too. Merle shook his head and shrugged out of all of his clothes, splashing more water over himself and cleaning off the remaining blood before changing into something relatively clean. He normally didn't care much about having a bit of blood on him from putting down walkers - it was hard not to get a little dirty doing that every day... But the mess Glenn's blood had made was very excessive.

He threw the bloody clothing into the trash and exhaled, closing his eyes for a few seconds and hoping to rid himself of the image of Glenn bleeding heavily in his arms. The poor kid had been so scared, and then quite clearly confused, calling Merle 'Dad...' Shaking his head, Merle opened his eyes. He didn't want to think about that.

He looked around at all of his supplies stacked up in the small kitchen. What a colossal waste of fucking time... Why was he doing this? Hoarding all this dumb shit just to trade it all for more dumb shit? He could get his own alcohol and drugs and weapons... He already had more than he knew what to do with.

When he noticed the box of blueberry pop tarts he'd opened this morning, he felt his mouth twitch into a frown. There were reminders of this fucking kid absolutely everywhere. Five god damn days and he'd already left his mark on literally every part of Merle's life. With a small growl in the back of his throat, he reached out and swatted the box violently off the counter and against the wall.

He angrily grabbed up a full gallon of water and made his way into the main room, drinking the water greedily as he scowled at the second couch, the one Glenn had been using. Sam's back pack and the stack of photos were on one of the cushions. The other cushion had the pillow, still dented from Glenn's head lying on it. The blanket he'd put over the kid last night was bunched up near the edge, almost falling onto the floor.

Merle frowned as he stared at the stack of photos. Glenn had been so happy to find them. They were all he had left of his cousin, parents, sisters, and the rest of his dumb family who seemed like an Asian version of the fucking Brady Bunch. Glenn had seemed almost giddy as he flipped through the photos, telling Merle all about these people who didn't mean shit to Merle, but who meant the world to the kid.

He stared at the photos, sitting calmly atop the cushion, unassuming, but pissing him off anyway. Merle was tempted to burn them and the back pack, along with anything else that brought back memories of Glenn's short time here, and forget any of this shit had ever happened. Another part of him itched to grab up Glenn's stuff, run all the way back to the hospital, and leave it by the door for one of the guards to find so Glenn could get it back... But setting foot near that hospital meant that someone might recognize him. Someone who knew something about Glenn... Someone who might feel the need to break the news to Merle that the boy hadn't lived. Merle simply didn't want to know.

He put his jug of water on the floor and squeezed his hand into a fist as he stared at the couch. Glenn hadn't been here long, but he'd already made that space his own. Merle remembered the kid always took his shoes off prior to sitting down. Merle never bothered doing the same.

He stood up and walked over to the couch, picking up the photos and staring at the one on top. Glenn with his cousin. He swallowed. He liked to say all Asians looked the same to him, and it wasn't fully a lie - when he first met Asian people or black people - on the rare occasion that he even tried to distinguish them, it did sometimes take a minute. They didn't often have the variations white people did, like blonde hair, light blue or green eyes... but he could tell the two boys in the photo apart. Sam looked a bit off - like a random asian kid Merle didn't know or care about. Glenn looked familiar. Merle could see the small dimples on his cheeks, the outline of his cheekbones, and the way his eyes looked like little half-moons when he smiled. Maybe all Asians looked the same to him because he'd never bothered to get to know any of them.

Merle looked back down at the couch when he noticed a pad of paper and a pen stuck between the cushions. He frowned, reaching down and pulling it out from where it had been lodged. It was a little pad of stationary with the funeral home's name printed on the top in fancy writing. Glenn had been doodling all over it apparently, and keeping some kind of journal.

Merle stared down at it. Where had the kid even found this? And when? He must have been lurking around while Merle wasn't paying attention. Maybe jotting down stuff and drawing any time Merle was occupied elsewhere. Glenn was certainly a sneaky little fucker.

He looked at the first page, which was just drawings of cars. They were pretty good drawings too. He'd put a lot of detail into them. Merle wouldn't have expected a kid not even close to old enough to drive to get that many details right. The next page was all writing.

'Dear Sam,' Merle started reading in his head, sighing and exhaling as he realized the boy had been writing letters to his dead fucking cousin. How god-damned sad was that? Was Merle really that shit for company that Glenn preferred to write letters to dead people instead of talking to him?

He read on:

'I was going to put the date on here but I don't know what day it is. I'm not even sure what month it is. Anyway, this is the day that you died. I got away from those bad men, Sam, just like you wanted. I wish you could have got away too, even if you were going to die anyway. I wasn't ready, and I don't think you were either. I met a man named Merle who says I can stay with him. I don't know if he's nice or not. He kind of made me kill a geek, but really he did it while he held onto my arm. I didn't want to. It was scary and I was kind of mad at him for making me get so close, but he's letting me stay here where it's safe, so it's not all bad. Also, he might have killed people before. I don't know for sure if I should stay here - he lives at a funeral home - there's no bodies though, so it isn't really scary. He hasn't hurt me or anything, so I guess it's better than being alone.'

Merle exhaled. Glenn must have written these while Merle was outside smoking or asleep or something. He never noticed the kid writing or drawing anything, but this whole little pad of paper was pretty worn out. It looked like he'd written in it every single day since he'd been with Merle.

He flipped the page and read the next one:

'Dear Sam,

It's been a day since you died now, so I guess this is day 2 of my world without you. Last night Merle and I went to a pharmacy to get medicine, but I think he just takes it for fun - not because he has to. He doesn't act sick and he had me get a lot more than he could have needed. We got trapped in a fast food freezer afterward! And Merle gave me some kind of alcohol. It was really gross, but made me feel funny and it was kind of fun. Yesterday was really long... but today was even longer, even though we slept through half of it. I saw you again today, but you were different. Merle tried to make me kill you. He didn't know it was you. He hit me and yelled and threw things and said he wanted to hit me again. For a minute I thought about running away, because I wasn't sure if he really was going to hurt me. I think he was just mad because I hit him first, but I really couldn't kill you. I didn't know what else to do. He said he was sorry and so did I. We're going to have a funeral for you tomorrow.

It was really awful seeing you again, Sam. It was you, but it wasn't you. I wish I could see real-you again to get that out of my head. It just wasn't you. It was like a monster almost pretending to be you, kind of. I wanted you to smile and tell me you were joking around, and give me a hug, but you didn't. It wasn't really you. I miss you a lot.'

Frowning, Merle turned the page again. He really shouldn't have thrown that little fit in the flower shop - but at the time, he didn't know Glenn was upset about his cousin. He didn't know the Asian walker was related to the kid... He felt bad knowing Glenn was scared enough that he contemplated running off. Merle wasn't ever really going to hit him again. He regretted the first swing almost immediately. He'd done it without thinking, in reaction to the kid hitting him, but he knew he shouldn't have.

He read the next entry:

'Dear Sam,

We had your funeral today - on day 3 without you... even though you were kind of there, I guess. We're going to meet up with a group to trade stuff next. Merle hasn't been talking to me as much today. I think he doesn't like me anymore since I hit him and screamed at him yesterday. I was really mad and maybe he isn't okay with me being mean too. I don't normally act like that. You know that. Maybe he doesn't. I said I was sorry. I hope this new group is nice. Maybe if Merle doesn't want me to be with him anymore I can go with them instead.

P.S. You looked much better today at your funeral. You weren't growling and your eyes were closed. We cleaned you up a little. You looked more like you. I left blue M&Ms in your pocket. I won't fight you for them ever again.'

Merle frowned. That must have been why the boy wasn't eating the blue candies earlier. He must have had some stupid deal with his cousin about it. It was pretty heartbreaking to read that he was contemplating joining another group though - especially considering what group it was they had met with that day - those were the men who'd attacked him. Merle almost didn't want to read the next one, but he flipped the page and did so anyway:

'Dear Sam,

Sorry I didn't write yesterday. It was a really bad day. So today is day 5 without you. I don't want to write about what happened yesterday, but I ran into the guys who killed you. They were the people Merle was going to trade with. They're still just as bad as the last time I saw them. I think I know what they were going to do. Very bad things. They wouldn't let me go - kind of like before only worse. I was really scared. I kept thinking about my dad, but he's probably dead too. I didn't know what to do and thought maybe I would never get away. But Merle saved me from them. He made me do the trade before he knew who the guys were and when I took too long he came to check. He shot all three of them, Sam. They might have been his friends once, kind of... but he killed them anyway. He knew what they were trying to do was wrong and he killed them to save me from them. That's how I know he's good - because he wouldn't let something like that happen to me - just like you or Uncle Henry. He's kind of like my new family, I guess.

He took me back home and was really nice. He didn't mind when I cried and hugged him. I didn't mean to do it either. It just happened out of nowhere. He's kind of like my dad if I look hard enough. I mean, he's really different too, but he's really nice when he wants to be... or maybe he doesn't want to be, but he still is. I think I can live with him forever and it would be okay. Those guys who killed you knew they could hurt me and they definitely wanted to. Merle knows he could too, but he doesn't want to. He's nice. He's not like them. I wasn't sure at first, but I am now. I think I can trust him.

There was something else good that happened last night too. We found your back pack, and the pictures and letter you left were still in it! I love them so much, Sam. I wish I could find a way to get my letters to you too. We're going to go meet with another group to trade once Merle gets done smoking. I'll write again tonight and tell you what happens.'

And that was the last one. 'Tonight' was right now, and Glenn didn't have his little pad of paper... Because Merle had come home without him...

Glenn had hardly had anything negative to say about Merle, even though the man had given him more than enough material to write a whole book on how much of a bastard Merle was. He hadn't mentioned Merle's racist jokes, had explained away the time Merle actually slapped him across the face... He'd probably start a new little journal now, and write all about how Merle was a piece of shit for abandoning him and breaking his little heart.

Merle stuffed the paper and photos into the backpack and shoved it behind the couch. He wished he'd never met Glenn.

He found a bottle of whiskey he had stashed near his own couch and took a big gulp. He shouldn't even give a damn about any of this. He'd known this stupid kid for less than a week. He shouldn't give a damn what happened to him, and shouldn't have to feel guilty for not wanting to take care of him anymore. If Glenn trusted him so much and thought Merle was like his dad after just five days, he'd probably just as easily feel that way about the next person he met.

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	23. Nurse Donny

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Chapter 23

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Glenn sat up in his hospital bed. The lights weren't on - as during the day, when the sun was out, the staff tried to rely on light from outside when they could. Since Glenn wasn't in surgery or enduring any kind of important medical treatment at the moment, a strong light wasn't needed for him.

He could still see for now, which was why he'd just composed another journal entry - another letter to Sam. He didn't know if he was going to write letters to Sam forever. It did seem kind of silly, even to him. Sam was gone. He wasn't ever going to read this - but back when Sam first moved to Atlanta, he and Glenn had decided to become pen pals. Of course, they had internet and could have just sent e-mails or instant messages really quickly (and they did) but something about sending and receiving real mail was so fun. They could draw each other pictures, make fun of each other's messy hand writing, enclose stickers. It was just better than e-mail.

Even though Sam wasn't ever actually going to read these letters, it still made Glenn feel better to write them. Maybe Sam was in some sort of afterlife and could read the letters right over Glenn's shoulder, as his guardian angel or a spirit or something. It seemed kind of far-fetched, but who knew? No one expected the dead to rise and eat people's flesh, and that happened... Whether Sam could see the letters or not, Glenn kept writing them. He could pretend Sam saw them at least. There was no harm in that.

He had a real journal now to write his letters in too. Late yesterday evening, when Nora and Tracy were still around, they'd stayed in his room with him. He'd asked if they knew where any paper was, because he wanted to write what he described to them as 'some kind of journal thing.' Nora had went off to search and had found an abandoned gift shop. She brought back two journals - so he could keep wring for years if he wanted. She'd even brought him a stuffed dog toy. Glenn would have ordinarily felt he was too old for stuffed animals, but having something to hug when he felt so alone was nice.

Nora and Tracy had gone home this morning. They said he could probably move in with them once he was recovered, but until then they had to take care of their own families. Tracy had a three-year-old daughter, and Nora was kind of the little girl's step-mom. Tracy also had a younger sister who she had to tell about their father's death. Glenn's heart hurt for them. At least with his own father, he could hope the man was alive. Tracy and her sister knew for a fact they'd never see their dad again... and they knew he died in a very cruel, violent, painful way. Tracy did at least... Maybe she'd keep that from her sister.

The two women said they'd visit him again in a few days. Until then, Glenn was all alone besides his doctors and nurses.

He hugged the stuffed dog Nora had given him against his chest. He felt so alone. Even knowing that Tracy and Nora's group would likely welcome him, he still felt alone, and he didn't feel like he belonged there. They all had families. Glenn would be a weird outsider. That one kid without parents - the kid people were nice to, but who wasn't their kid. Tracy would keep her own child her priority. It was only natural. Glenn wouldn't really be that important to anyone in particular, because no one would have a reason to put him first.

That was a big reason why Glenn felt he and Merle were such a good match for each other. Neither of them had anyone. When Glenn started living with Merle, he wasn't there along with Merle's kids or brother. And Merle wasn't there along with Glenn's dad or uncle or cousin. They were both utterly alone, and had no one to compete with - no one to feel less important than. Glenn never had to wonder if he was the extra person in Merle's life - the one Merle wouldn't mind losing in favor of someone else - because there was no one else. And Merle wouldn't have had to worry either. He was the only person Glenn had.

Now Glenn had Nora and Tracy... kind of... but he wasn't important enough to either of them for them to stay here with him. They might not have run off without warning. They at least told him they were going to go for a few days - but they had indeed gone. No one left on Earth cared about Glenn enough to make sure he never felt alone. The nurses and doctors were here, but they'd be here for literally anyone.

Glenn sighed and looked down at the stuffed dog in his arms. He moved it onto his legs and ran his finger-tips over its shiny little marble eyes. He wished it were a real dog - someone who would be loyal to him no matter what, who would never leave him or make him wonder if he truly was valued or not.

He looked up when he heard a knock and his door creaked open. A nurse he didn't recognize stepped in, closing the door behind him and closing the little set of blinds over the door's small window before turning back toward Glenn with a wide grin on his face. "Hey, Glenn," he spoke up, crossing the room and extending his hand. "I'm Donny. I kind of check in on patients around here now and then. Used to work with kids with cancer, so I've seen it all and am an expert in recovery from almost anything. How are you feeling?"

"Oh," Glenn exhaled, glad to hear this man was a medical professional of some kind and not just a random guy. He shook the man's hand. "Um. Okay, I guess. My leg's starting to hurt more, but I don't think I'm allowed more medicine yet. Am I?" he wondered.

"Uh..." Donny hesitated as he let go of Glenn's hand and pulled up a chair very close to the side of the bed. He flipped a few sheets of paper on a clipboard before sticking it back at the foot of Glenn's bed. "I'd ask your doctor maybe. I'm not sure what he has you taking or how often the dose is meant to be taken."

"It should say it on there," Glenn frowned, nodding toward the clipboard. "You're a doctor too, right? Why can't you just check-"

"I'm actually a nurse," Donny interrupted. "I mean, I've been working here for a long time, so I know what I'm doing, but it's always best to ask your primary doctor about these things. They don't like it when I make decisions about their patients' meds without consulting them first."

"Oh." Glenn frowned.

The nurse shrugged. "Well, there are other ways to alleviate pain while you wait," he suggested, standing up and walking around behind Glenn's bed. He reached down and put his hands on Glenn's shoulders, rubbing them carefully. "How's that?"

Glenn swallowed and attempted to shrink down slightly. "I, um..." He hesitated. "Th-the pain's in my... um... In my leg though..."

"That doesn't matter. People put pressure on all sorts of various points on their bodies to reduce pain in other parts. There's a part on your hand that can help with headaches," Donny explained.

"That's okay..." Glenn shrunk away further, trying to decline this man's offer without being forceful. "I'll just wait for the medicine."

"Come on, Glenn," Donny sounded somewhat disappointed as he gripped Glenn's shoulders more firmly and rubbed up and down his arms. "I'm trying to be helpful here."

Glenn bit his lower lip. This felt wrong. "I don't need your help. Let go," he said in a more forceful voice, reaching his own hands up and shoving Donny's away.

"Alright," Donny laughed bitterly and raised his hands in defense. "Don't come crying to me the next time you're in pain."

"I won't," Glenn frowned.

"I'll just check your leg out and then I'll be out of your hair. Still gotta do my job. Even if you're rude to me the whole time," the nurse yanked the blanket almost violently away, uncovering both of Glenn's legs.

Glenn held his breath and wondered if he had made a mistake. Maybe this nurse was just trying to help, and Glenn had freaked out for no reason. "I'm sorry... I just..." he hesitated. "I didn't mean to be rude... You just made me uncomfortable... I... I just-"

"That's okay," Donny smiled, pushing Glenn's hospital gown up over his knee until he could fully see the bandage.

Glenn still felt like he was barely breathing as he watched the man's hands carefully. The nurse put his fingertips carefully against Glenn's thigh, on the skin above the bandage. "How's the sensation here? Any numbness or pain?"

"N-no... It feels normal... Just painful down further where the bullet went in," he answered in a breathless voice.

Donny nonchalantly brushed his fingertips upward, moving Glenn's hospital gown further up.

Glenn reached down and pushed it back.

"I've gotta have that out of my way if I'm gonna see what I'm doing, sonny," Donny looked at him with a raised eyebrow, staring right into the boy's eyes as he put his hand on Glenn's thigh and pushed the gown up even further than he had before. "I'm worried about muscle deterioration with you no longer using this leg. I've seen kids with broken bones or amputations have their muscles go right down the drain quicker than you'd believe."

Glenn swallowed and stared into the man's eyes, trying to read him. The things he was saying sounded like legitimate medical talk... But did he really have to push Glenn's gown up so far? Did he need to touch his thigh so far away from the actual injury? Glenn wasn't sure...

"Here," the nurse grabbed out at Glenn's hand. Glenn gasped softly and tried to jerk his hand away, but Donny held it tight. "Compare it to mine." He pulled Glenn's hand over to his own thigh, holding it in place with his own and forcing him to keep it there.

With a small whimper, Glenn tried to pull away, while the nurse held Glenn's hand in place, forcing it up the inside of the man's leg. Meanwhile, the nurse took Glenn's other hand and forced it down to rest on the boy's thigh, keeping his larger hand on top and forcing Glenn's hand upward.

"Stop!" Glenn gasped in a small voice as he tried and failed to pull his hands out of Donny's grip.

The nurse put his own fingertips up higher than Glenn's on the boy's leg as he dragged both of their hands further, up under the hospital gown. "You're gonna want to make sure to do whatever exercises-"

"Stop!" Glenn said again, louder. "Let go! Don't touch me... I'll scream," he threatened in a shaking voice.

A look of anger flashed across the nurse's face as he squeezed Glenn's hands tighter in his. "You have to let me do my job, Glenn. You won't recover if you don't listen to the staff here. We're trying to help you."

"No you aren't," Glenn shook his head as Donny continued gripping both of his hands tightly, pulling both dangerously close to places Glenn did not want to touch or be touched. "Let me go!"

"If you scream, people around here are going to think you're crazy," Donny threatened. "And if people think you're crazy, do you know what they're gonna do?"

Glenn stared back, feeling his breaths becoming quicker and his heart pounding. Donny's calloused fingertips were moving very slowly higher on the sensitive skin of his inner-thigh, pulling Glenn's smaller hand up with him.

"They'll have to handcuff you to the bed, Glenn," Donny continued when the boy made no attempt to guess. "Crazy patients have to be restrained, because they're dangerous. If you go screaming and accusing people of things they didn't do, just because you've been out among the dead too long and are scared of even normal, living people now, you'll have to be restrained. What if you get scared of someone just minding their business, walking down the hallway, thinking they're one of the risen, and you go nuts on them?People will think you're dangerous. Dangerous people have to be restrained. Act crazy, and you'll get treated like you're crazy."

"I'm not..." Glenn whimpered, trying to yank his arms back, but failing. "Please stop..."

The nurse shook his head and increased his grip even further. "It's not my fault you're scared of doctors. No one can treat your injury if you don't let them touch you. You tell anyone I was doing anything, and they won't believe you, because I didn't do anything I didn't have to do. You gonna tell them I touched your leg? That's where you were shot. Your medical care team has to touch your leg. You're being dramatic."

Swallowing, Glenn attempted to pull his hands out of the nurse's grip again. He didn't know what to say or do. Was Donny right? None of this felt right... But he probably was telling the truth at least when he said people would think Glenn was crazy if he started screaming about a nurse touching his leg. How could he even explain this? If he couldn't even explain it, maybe it wasn't wrong

"So please don't tell people I was doing anything when I wasn't. You got that?" Donny stared down at him.

Glenn stared back, breathing in and out. The nurse still held Glenn's hand on his own thigh, forcing Glenn's fingers to rest only inches away from the man's crotch. Donny's other hand held Glenn's on the boy's inner-thigh, and moved his own fingers over Glenn's, carefully rubbing back and forth over the skin under Glenn's hospital gown.

"You got that, Glenn?" Donny repeated.

"Yeah," Glenn breathed out a shaking breath.

Glenn jumped slightly when he heard a knock at the door. Don jerked his hands away and stood up straight as he turned toward the sound.

"Hey, honey. You up for a walk around?" A nurse poked her head through Glenn's doorway. She frowned when she noticed Glenn's expression and then glanced toward the other nurse standing next to him. "Everything okay in here, Don?"

"Perfectly fine. I was just checking on his injury. Making sure everything still looks good. I think I scared him by mistake," Donny reached toward Glenn's hair and ruffled it lightly, causing Glenn to shrink down slightly as he tugged the boy's hospital gown back down over the bandage. "Looks fine. Don't you worry about it, sonny. You'll be running around just like old times before you know it."

Glenn swallowed and remained still.

The other nurse shifted from one foot to the other by the door, frowning at the closed blinds. She pulled them back open and looked back toward the other nurse. "These are supposed to stay open. I can take care of him from here, Don. Thanks." She offered the man a somewhat insincere-looking smile. "We're going to take a walk. It's a nice day out," she said then to Glenn. "There's a place where we can go outside where it's safe. You'll love it. I can push you in the wheel chair."

"Okay," Glenn answered in a small, breathless voice. At this point, he didn't necessarily want to go for a walk, but welcomed absolutely any excuse to get away from the other nurse.

"Good," she smiled. "It'll be nice to get out of this dark old room anyway. Stay in here too long and you're gonna develop night vision and have to find your way around using sonar like a bat."

Glenn forced a small laugh.

This nurse was named Madeline and was probably only in her early twenties. She was really pretty and nice and checked in on Glenn more often than the others, something Glenn was especially thankful for in this particular moment. Madeline was always giving him extra attention, sneaking him cups of jello or cookies... She even let him in on a secret she claimed other patients didn't always get to know about - that they had an actual, functioning ice machine here. She often brought him drinks with ice when his leg started hurting but when it was still too early for his next dose of pain medication. Since ice was such a rare luxury these days, it kind of made him forget the pain a little, if only for a few minutes.

Madeline helped him into a wheel chair and started down the hallway. She glanced down toward Glenn's door as Don made his way out and headed the other direction. "Did he say something to you?" She asked in a lower voice.

Glenn shook his head. "No... I just-" He hesitated. "He made a strange face when he was looking at my leg... I, uh- I was scared it looked bad or something. Like he said. He just kinda scared me on accident."

"Alright," Madeline shrugged. "If he's ever being creepy, scaring you on purpose or anything, let me know. He's always kind of creeped me out. He stares at people and always says the wrong thing. So socially awkward... "

"Okay," Glenn exhaled and forced a laugh. "Yeah... He's kinda weird."

"He's not even assigned to your case. He does this to everyone - makes everything his business when it's not. One of my co-workers tried to get him fired once, but it didn't work," the nurse explained.

"Really? What did she try to get him fired for?" Glenn wondered.

"He. My friend was a guy. We were interning here for school back a couple years ago. I guess Don was making inappropriate comments to him about something or another - really unprofessional stuff. The boss didn't take it seriously. Don just had to talk to Human Resources." Madeline shrugged. "Oh, well. At least he's harmless. Creepy, but harmless."

Glenn forced a laugh. "Yeah..."

"Anyway..." Madeline went on as she wheeled him down the hallway, "I'll try to keep him busy with something so he won't annoy you."

"Okay... Thanks," Glenn smiled slightly. Madeline clearly wasn't as creeped out by this man as he was.

"This place we're headed is a sort of garden area, created so patients who had to stay long-term wouldn't feel like they were missing outside too much. We had a lot of long-term stays here on this floor and then they could go outside without having to use the elevator. It works great now that outside is so dangerous, because it's on the second floor, totally walled off. It's completely safe. I've taken it upon myself to keep the plants watered when it doesn't rain enough. I was told not to waste water on it... but it really makes people happy to see the plants, and I think keeping patients happy helps them heal faster." She explained as they made their way toward a row of windows that showed off the garden she spoke of.

"That makes sense," Glenn agreed. "Have you or anybody heard from Merle today?"

Madeline offered a slight frown and shook her head.

Glenn shrugged. "That's okay," he said with a forced laugh, hoping to sound like he didn't really care. "I didn't know him that well anyway. We were only living together five days... Here in another week I'll have known you longer than I ever knew him. It's not a big deal. I've had longer relationships with cartons of milk."

The nurse laughed lightly. "That's true. I'm sure he'll come back someday if he can. I think he was feeling a little overwhelmed."

"What?" Glenn wrinkled his nose. "Overwhelmed by what?"

"Worrying about you, honey," Madeline answered, wheeling Glenn outside into an area that was outside, but still surrounded by the building's walls. It was kind of like a large room within the hospital, only without a roof.

Glenn looked up at the clear sky. It didn't smell so much like death in here. It smelled like flowers instead. He looked around himself at all the plants. There was a fountain in the middle, but it wasn't turned on. There were also a few tables and benches. He glanced over his shoulder at Madeline. "If he was worried about me, why didn't he stay and make sure I was okay?"

Madeline shrugged. "Maybe he was scared."

"Merle doesn't get scared. He was tired of me screwing everything up for him," Glenn accused. "He knew if he was still here when I woke up, I'd want to go home with him, and he didn't want that to happen. He told me yesterday morning, you know."

"Told you what?" Madeline frowned.

"That he wanted me to join Nora and Tracy and their group. He said I'd fit in better there and I should live with them. He tried to say he wanted what was best for me and would let me decide for myself, but looks like that's not how that worked out. I told him I wanted to stay with him." Glenn could feel himself getting more angry as he ranted. Merle had gone through so much trouble to save Glenn from those three creeps, and now he was here, stuck with another creep who no one was going to prevent from doing whatever he wanted. If Merle really cared, wouldn't he have stayed to make sure something like this didn't happen?

Madeline shrugged slightly. "Maybe he really does want what's best for you and thinks you'd be safer with them. I hear their group is larger. Staying inside an old school."

"He said I could choose... That I could stay with him if that's what I wanted. Then the second he got a chance to leave me, he did. He wasn't ever going to let me choose to stay with him or not. He said it was up to me, but it wasn't. He didn't want me there anymore." Glenn paused as he realized the nurse was staring down at him with her mouth slightly open, looking as though almost shocked by his words. "Not that it even matters. He's mean anyway. You know he says some of the most racist, sexist things I've ever heard?"

"Oh," Madeline sounded somewhat uncomfortable. "Well... maybe it's for the best that he's kind of making the decision for you... Perhaps you got used to him, so you're comfortable around him even though he's not the best person for you to be around."

Glenn frowned and looked down. Now he felt guilty. Merle had done a lot for him, and here he was trashing the man's name to anyone who would listen. Madeline wasn't the first of the hospital staff he'd ranted to about the man. It was hard not to take personally the fact that Merle had abandoned him out of nowhere... and right when Glenn was seriously hurt and could have died... Glenn didn't want to think Merle would just leave when he didn't have to, but it seemed very much like that's exactly what had happened. He couldn't understand it... But he hated that one choice of Merle's more than he hated the man himself.

"He wasn't all bad though," Glenn noted as he looked across the way at a potted rose bush. "He helped me have a funeral for my cousin, and he didn't even know Sam... He helped me clean blood off of me when- well, when it was all over me after a, um... thing. And he let me hug him and even hugged me back. I was making a huge scene, crying and just being totally crazy, and he didn't even get mad and tell me to shut up. He let me cry and tried to make me feel better."

"That was nice of him. Maybe he's a good person, but wasn't really the right fit for you," Madeline suggested. "He seemed like kind of a loner. I didn't even get a chance to talk to him when he was here. It's probably nothing you did wrong. He just doesn't know how to be around people."

"He seemed to like me sometimes," Glenn shrugged. "He did say he didn't like kids though."

Madeline frowned. "Well, anyone who doesn't like kids has got to have something wrong with them."

"Do you have kids?" Glenn looked up at her.

She shook her head. "No. My boyfriend and I were maybe going to after we got married. But I couldn't find him after all this stuff happened, and it doesn't seem like the best time to have kids now. Maybe when the world gets back to normal I'll have a family of my own. For now I'll just stay here and help people who need me to."

"Oh," Glenn frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't know if my family is alive or not either. Besides Sam. I know he's gone."

Madeline squeezed his shoulder lightly. "I think now's the time to make new families. Not to forget the ones we came from, but just move on and see what's next. Everyone's bound to fit in somewhere. It just takes a while to find that place sometimes."

Glenn nodded, but that didn't sound applicable to him. He thought he fit in with Merle. He thought Merle was going to be his new family. Tracy and Nora were nice, but they weren't the same. Maybe it was just because he didn't know them as well. They were the ones who stayed while he was having surgery though. Not Merle. But then, they weren't here now. They were with their real families - which didn't include Glenn.

He exhaled and looked up at the nurse. "Do I get more pain pills soon?" He wondered. "My leg really hurts..."

The nurse nodded. "About a half hour from now. Think you can wait that long?"

"Maybe if I can have a drink with ice while I wait?" Glenn smiled back at her.

"Of course you can," Madeline smiled back. "We're the only place in the city that has them, as far as I know."

"I haven't seen anywhere else with ice," Glenn nodded. "Do you think I'll be able to run as fast as I used to when this heals?" He wondered. He kept asking all the nurses and doctors the same thing, just to see if they all answered the same way. He really wanted to be able to be as good as new - so he could still do supply runs if he wanted. That is, if he even lived with someone who would allow him to.

"I think if you follow your doctor's instructions - do the exercises he asks you to do, eat well, get rest and all that - you'll be fully healed eventually. You're still young, so you're still growing. That really helps the healing process. It also helps that your injury was pretty clean, didn't hit anything important... For being shot, you were pretty lucky," the nurse explained. "I know that sounds crazy - for me to tell you you're lucky..."

"I get it... I am lucky. My cousin got shot and died like right away," Glenn told her. "And lots of people have been bitten, and I haven't. My cousin was bitten too - before he was shot. He's been the most unlucky person of all... I've been very lucky though. I got shot and lived, got totally surrounded by walkers and had to spend the night in a freezer, but lived... Got pretty much kidnapped by these three guys - twice - who probably would have killed me, but I got away both times, got attacked by a walker and lived even when I didn't know how to fight them off. I could have been bitten lots of times. I never even killed a walker until the day before yesterday."

"I haven't killed any at all," Madeline told him with a frown. "I've been in this hospital the whole time. We've had people die here, but there are certain staff members who deal with that - volunteers... I'm not one of them." She shook her head. "We don't call them walkers around here though. Everyone calls them the risen. I know it sounds like some kind of religious cult..." She shrugged.

Glenn laughed. "It kind of does," he agreed. "My cousin and I called them geeks, like the weird kids in school that no one wanted to be around - because these things are kinda like weird awkward people... I mean, not that kids at school would try to eat each other," he laughed nervously.

The nurse laughed. "At my high school they probably would have," she joked.

Glenn smiled. "Well, I never went to high school. Sounds fun though."

Madeline nodded. "It was... interesting."

"Do you guys grow vegetables in this garden?" Glenn wondered as the nurse pushed his wheel chair around a large square path through the plants. It looked like it was mostly flowers and small shrubs.

"I don't think so," Madeline answered. "But maybe we should. That's a good idea."

"Yeah, I thought so too," Glenn frowned as he remembered Merle kind of brushing that idea off.

"They wouldn't get much sun right here exactly, but maybe on the roof," the nurse suggested. "I'll see what we can do."

"Cool," Glenn smiled. Maybe he really would be okay someplace different than at the funeral home with Merle. This place had ice, sometimes lights, even running water... and the nurses all seemed to like him... except the one who liked him too much. Maybe he could build up the courage to ask Madeline to keep the guy away from him forever and then things here wouldn't be too bad. He'd never be anyone's only person or most important person. He'd be just one of many - not all that special to anyone in particular, but he'd be okay. It would be like being at school - one of the class. The teachers would look out for him, but he wouldn't look to any of them as parental figures. He'd be okay.

"Ready to go back?" Madeline asked when they'd circled around and approached the door they'd entered the area from. "I'll get you an icy drink, you can draw for a bit and then you'll be ready for your pain pills. Then you'll sleep like a baby."

Glenn nodded. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" He asked. The thought of sitting in that room all alone after whatever that just was Donny was trying to do scared him.

"Sure, honey," Madeline smiled down at him.

Exhaling, Glenn looked ahead as the nurse wheeled him back toward his room. With any luck, threatening to scream had scared Donny enough that the man would leave him alone. At any rate, Madeline was going to stay with him for now. At least for the moment, he'd be okay.

xxxxxx


	24. Anyone Else

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Chapter 24

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Merle groaned as he put his hand up against his temple and pulled himself up off the floor. He felt like hell. Merle wasn't really one to get hangovers, but he also usually knew when to stop drinking to keep his intoxication to a level he'd describe as 'buzzed' rather than 'completely fucking plastered.' For some reason, he must have had way too much to drink last night.

He dragged himself toward the front door of the funeral home, made his way outside long enough to take a piss, and then stumbled back inside. "Hey, Glenn, you up?" He asked, hearing only his own voice. It was about mid-day by now.

When he heard no answer, Merle exhaled with frustration and made his way back into the room. "Glenn? You fucking awake?" He growled in a louder voice, frowning when he saw the back pack he'd retrieved thrown behind the couch. It was then that he realized Glenn wasn't here and started to recall the previous day. He'd left the boy at the hospital after he was shot - before Merle knew if the kid had survived the injury or not.

Frowning, Merle looked down at the backpack. He hoped Glenn was alive, and that he'd live a safer life with the new people. Merle had done all he could for the kid and seemed to be less helpful than a source of danger. Glenn had lived for weeks with his cousin - who was also a child - without either of them facing so much danger on a daily basis. Glenn needed someone better than Merle. Someone safer than Merle.

He wondered what Glenn was doing now - assuming he'd survived. He wouldn't be able to walk around much - probably not at all for a while... He'd require a lot of care from the people around him. The boy was pretty defenseless even on a normal day. Merle hoped the hospital staff knew how to keep walkers out and knew to take care of any of their patients who happened to die before they became walkers. If another patient died and got back up, Glenn wouldn't even be able to run...

The more he thought about it, the more Merle wondered if he'd made a terrible mistake leaving Glenn behind. He recalled his rationale the previous day was that he felt better not knowing about Daryl because that left the younger man's fate open - he was probably alive, and if he wasn't, Merle wouldn't ever know. Glenn would be the same... But it wasn't the same. Daryl was strong and could take care of himself. Glenn wasn't. The not-knowing aspect when it came to Glenn came along with an entire extra list of dreadful possibilities...

What if the people at the hospital weren't all decent? What if some of them were like Tim and John and Jake? Glenn would be a perfect target for that kind of thing - injured and all alone. He was strangely trusting of people too... He certainly grew to trust Merle pretty fucking fast, even with the man swearing and yelling all the time. Merle had even hit him and threatened to hurt him worse, and Glenn still trusted him. He'd probably trust anyone.

Merle swallowed a lump in his throat, grabbed Sam's back pack up off the floor and headed outside. He had to go back. For all Merle knew, someone could be taking advantage of Glenn's naivety, small stature, and physical weakness right now. Maybe he was sharing a room with another injured person who could die at any moment only to get back up and attack. Or maybe the staff just didn't know how to keep walkers out and would fail to do so. Merle just couldn't trust anyone else not to be too stupid, careless, or cruel. He'd already made Glenn into his problem. He couldn't stand the thought of not knowing how others were choosing to look after him - or choosing not to.

Picking up his pace, Merle headed off toward the hospital. On the way, he avoided any walkers he could to make the trip faster, but was forced to take down a few so they wouldn't start mobbing up behind him. The entire time, however, he was practically jogging. He only took a break once he reached the library, and that was only to grab up a few books, so if Glenn was indeed alive and well when he got there, he'd have a small gift for him - to hopefully make up for the fact that Merle had run off like an asshole when Glenn needed him most.

Entering the library, Merle made his way back toward the kid's section. He remembered that Glenn had drawn all those detailed drawings of cars - so that was probably a safe bet. Merle found a few informational books about various cars and stuffed them into Sam's back pack. He then looked for longer ones - actual stories. Glenn seemed like the sort who might actually enjoy reading. Merle wasn't sure which ones he'd be into though.

He found one with a dragon on the front and turned it over. It said something about a prince and princess going on an adventure to stop a dragon from destroying each of their towns. Glenn might like that. It looked to be part of a series. He grabbed another one where the duo battled an evil cyclops, and a third where the prince and princess got separated during a storm and go on individual quests to find each other. Maybe Glenn would be into it, maybe not. It didn't hurt to grab them up, and Merle didn't have time to be picky. He wanted to get to the hospital sooner rather than later.

He shoved all the books into the bag and headed back out, making quick steps to reach the hospital without further delay.

When he arrived, he was met by the same guards as before. "That was long smoke break." One of them frowned at him.

Merle rolled his eyes. "You know if that kid I brought in here is okay?" he asked. He wanted to know as soon as possible. If Glenn wasn't alive, Merle didn't need to be here.

"I think so," the second guard answered. "Hey, Liz. That guy from yesterday's here. Asking about the little boy he brought in."

The same woman who'd greeted him at the door when he brought Glenn here yesterday made her way out. She looked kind of angry. "Are you planning on leaving without warning again?"

Merle glared at her. It wasn't any of her business what he did. "Is Glenn alright?" he asked without answering her question.

Elizabeth exhaled loudly. "He's okay. But I don't want you coming and getting his hopes up if you plan on leaving again."

Merle frowned. "I ain't leavin' again... I just-" He hesitated, not really knowing how to articulate what he was feeling, and really not feeling a need to explain himself to this woman. "Can I see him?" he asked. "I went to get some of his stuff... Figured he'd want it." He lied, holding up the backpack. That's not why he'd left, but this woman didn't need to know that. "We don't live that close. Took a while to get there and back."

"Oh..." Elizabeth frowned, looking almost embarrassed. "We kind of all thought you just left... We didn't even get a chance to tell you if he was alright or not. You were just gone..."

"I left a note." Merle told her with raised eyebrows. "Said I'd be back."

"Yes... I, uh... I suppose you did... Um..." Elizabeth looked away and then back. "Um, just follow me then. I'll take you up to see him."

Merle smiled slightly to himself. He felt a sense of accomplishment easily convincing this lady that she was the one who was wrong here. The smile didn't last long though, and quickly turned down into a frown as he stared at the elevator buttons.

He felt like kind of a bastard for leaving Glenn without so much as a goodbye. He knew what he did was selfish - he wanted his own mind to be safe - to not have to know if Glenn didn't make it - to not have to know how Glenn's life with a new group he didn't even know would work out. He had wanted to make Glenn someone else's problem and choose to believe the kid was better off, but it was really uncertain for Glenn. For all Merle knew, Tracy and Nora were molesters and everyone at the hospital was too. For all he knew, the hospital staff used their patients as experiments or sex slaves. Merle had put trust in people to protect his own feelings, but didn't even think about what he might be leaving Glenn to.

Elizabeth led Merle out of the elevator and into a poorly lit hallway. The only light came through windows at the end of the hall. They were probably still trying to save on electricity.

"Maddy, is Glenn up for a visitor?" Elizabeth asked a young woman who was walking down the hall.

The girl stopped in her tracks and stared. She looked to be in her early twenties - had probably just started this job when the world pretty much ended. She was dressed in scrubs and had her hair pulled back into a messy bun as she looked at Merle with her mouth open slightly. "I, uh... Are you Merle?" She wondered, sounding almost like she was meeting a celebrity.

Merle frowned. "Am I fuckin' famous around here or somethin?"

"No... I mean... Well, Glenn's been asking about you a lot. I think I kind of saw you for a second yesterday, but you didn't stay long. You're him? You're Merle?" She asked.

"Yeah..." Merle scowled back.

"Oh... He's going to be so happy to see you." She smiled as though she'd just won the lottery and grabbed his arm excitedly. She had actual tears in her eyes. "He was literally just talking about you. You're staying, right?"

Merle sighed and resisted the urge to shove her hand off of him. "...Yeah."

"Um... He's asleep. I just came from his room. He asked me to stay until he fell asleep and he nodded off a couple minutes ago. He took a pretty high dose of pain meds about twenty minutes ago, and he seemed tired even before he took them... He might not be up for a while. I can show you to his room." She offered.

Merle followed her, listening as she rattled off everything she knew about Glenn's case.

"It really wasn't as bad as an injury as you probably thought. It bled a lot, but didn't hit any major arteries or nerves. Didn't hit bone. It went straight through and only hit on the side of his thigh. Even so, he did lose a lot of blood, and it's good that you got him here fast. The doctor has high hopes that he's going to be back to normal again fairly soon. It's not going to happen overnight, of course. We have him using crutches for short trips and a wheel chair for everything else, but he's mostly been sleeping or writing and drawing in bed."

Merle nodded as they reached Glenn's room. He paused by the door and swallowed. "Why do you people stay here and work when no one's payin' you?" He wondered.

Maddy smiled. "When I became a nurse, it wasn't for the money. I wanted to help people - to be there where I was needed. I'm still doing it. It's what I wanted. It's what I enjoy. People need nurses now more than ever."

"I guess." Merle shrugged, peaking into the small window in the door leading to Glenn's room. He did look like he was asleep.

"People like you are needed now more than ever too," she went on. "I don't know exactly what you did right with that little boy in there, but he adores you, Merle. Maybe you think you're not what's best for him, but I think you just might be."

Merle didn't respond as he stared through the window. He still wasn't sure about that. Just because Glenn really wanted to be with him didn't mean that was what was best for the kid.

"You can go in. Just sit with him if you want. He'll be so happy when he wakes up." Maddy smiled.

Merle nodded slightly, walking into the room and staring down at the kid. He glanced back toward the door, as the nurse closed it, peaked through the window for a second longer with a huge smile, nodded slightly and then walked off.

Looking back toward Glenn, Merle pulled a chair up next to his bed and simply stared at him. His chest was rising and falling slowly and steadily with his calm breaths. He looked peaceful and comfortable for the most part. His little leg was propped up on a pillow but still under a blanket and he had one armed wrapped securely around a stuffed toy dog.

Merle frowned. This poor kid had been through a lot, and was braver than most adults he'd known during his life. He was willing to go on supply runs, and climbed through a window into a dark building when he had no idea what might be inside, was willing to run all over a zombie-infested city without much complaint with a man he didn't know and really shouldn't have trusted, and had run toward screaming and gunfire just because he wanted to help people.

Even with all of his bravery and maturity for his age, Glenn was still just a kid. Looking down at him, Merle couldn't help but to see him as a very small, very vulnerable, innocent little boy. Hugging the stuffed animal, sleeping with a little pout on his lips... and he looked so tiny in the hospital bed, barely taking up any of the space it had to offer.

Reaching out toward Glenn's face, Merle put his hand carefully on the boy's forehead. It didn't feel hot. Besides for the wound - which had been properly treated already by the staff here, Glenn was okay. He probably wasn't feeling sick besides the pain in his leg. He didn't have a fever, didn't feel cold or sweaty. He seemed comfortable, and he looked like he was okay.

Exhaling softly, Merle placed the backpack down on the floor and leaned back in his chair. This whole situation still seemed unreal. He couldn't believe he was sitting next to this little Asian boy's hospital bed, actually worried about him. How had this kid won over his heart in less than a week? Most people never managed and it seemed widely believed even by Merle himself that the man had no heart.

Merle glanced toward the table next to the bed, where a half-full glass of what looked like iced tea was sitting. It had small almost melted ice-cubes floating near the top of the liquid and condensation all over the outside of the glass. Talk about living a life of luxury in here...

Next to the glass were two little journals. One of them had a pen inside it, being used as a sort of bookmark. Merle picked it up and turned to the page marked by the pen. It looked like Glenn had been keeping more journals, in the form of letters to his cousin. Merle turned a page back and read the first one, which detailed the incident with the walkers, during which Glenn got shot. He talked about being scared and feeling confused when he woke up. He expressed disappointment in Merle being gone, but hope that he'd come back.

Merle flipped to the next page - the one the kid had written today and read it to himself:

'Dear Sam,

It's been seven days since you died. A whole week. Remember when we were little and I told you I'd be your age someday and you had to explain that even though I was growing up, you were too? So I'd never be older? I guess that might not be true anymore. You're gonna be fifteen forever now. Someday I hope to be fifteen too. I've already gotten a whole week closer.

If I was still with Merle, we'd be trading with that first group again. I wonder if he's trading with them today or if he's doing something else. I hope he didn't die... I don't think he did. I think he doesn't know how to be around people, so he left to be alone again. I think his dad was mean and hurt him when he was little, and he isn't like that but doesn't know how else he's supposed to be. He grew up to be different than that, but he doesn't want to be friends with anyone. Even though he'd be a good dad, he's scared to try. I don't think he's scared of most things, but maybe he is scared of that. Not of monsters and bad people, but of being a good person. His dad wasn't good, so Merle's scared to be good.

Or maybe not. I don't know. I'll probably never see him again. Some of the nurses here seem to like me, and Nora gave me these journals, so maybe she likes me too. And Tracy is pretty nice. I guess I can just keep making new families wherever I end up.'

Merle put the journal back. He really probably shouldn't have been reading Glenn's private thoughts, but he was surprised at how intuitive this kid was. Merle really was reluctant to form relationships with people and felt weird anytime he started to care about someone. He hadn't been shown much care in his own life and didn't always know how to express his own feelings if they were anything beyond anger or amusement. He couldn't deny to himself that he cared more about Glenn than he knew how to handle, and it scared the hell out of him.

He stood and made his way around to the other side of the bed, where Glenn's injured leg was propped up. He carefully pulled the sheet and blanket back and pushed the hospital gown up enough to see where the injury was wrapped. No blood had soaked through. They must have stitched up the wound well and bandaged it thickly. The skin around the bandage didn't look discolored. These doctors seemed to know what they were doing.

Pulling the sheet and blanket carefully back up over Glenn's leg, Merle turned back to look at the kid again. He was so happy Glenn was okay. He really didn't know yesterday if he was ever going to see the boy alive ever again, and didn't want to see him otherwise. He could hardly believe a kid he'd known for less than a week could have that affect on him. It was startling even back when the men had attacked the boy in the gas station how much Merle had been scared for the kid. He hadn't really feared for Glenn's life then - he just feared that his own failure would mean the kid would suffer horribly. It had been a dreadful feeling, but nothing compared to the uncertainty of whether Glenn would even live. Merle could have lived with himself if those men hurt Glenn worse. He would have hated it, but he could have gone on - helped Glenn get through it and continued living. If the boy had died yesterday, Merle didn't know what he would have done. Even just the possibility had led him to flee and drink so heavily he forgot the entire day for a minute.

Merle put his hand carefully against Glenn's chest, feeling his even breaths. He was going to be okay. Merle had a lot to learn still about keeping a child safe, but he had more time to do it. He'd gotten another chance, even if he probably didn't deserve it.

"Merle?" Glenn's voice was small and somewhat scratchy as he spoke up in a whisper and blinked tiredly. He grabbed out at the man's hand on his chest, but didn't push him away. He seemed to be trying to hold him in place - preventing him from going.

"Hey, bud..." Merle couldn't help but to smile too. He didn't really know what to say though. He figured Glenn should be pissed at him for leaving, and didn't have much of an excuse for doing it.

"Am I dreaming?" Glenn's tired voice croaked. "Are you really back?"

"Yeah... I'm back. You ain't dreaming," Merle answered, squeezing Glenn's hand back. "I'm, uh... Sorry I left... I kinda-" he paused, trying to choose his words carefully. "Kinda didn't know what to do with myself waiting, and, uh... I don't know... I was wrong... I left 'cause I didn't want to know if you died. I thought you'd be okay without me, but if you died-" He cut himself off, unsure what he was trying to say.

Glenn seemed to be struggling to pull himself up in the bed.

"Woah, what're you doin?" Merle frowned, grabbing Glenn's arms and debating whether to push him back down or help him sit up. He wasn't sure how much the kid was supposed to be moving around.

"Sitting up," Glenn answered, yawning and blinking tiredly. He pulled himself up and stretched his arms out, wrapping them around Merle before the man could object. "Thank you for coming back. I know I'm a lot of work, and you don't know how to be a dad."

Merle hugged him back but shook his head. "I ain't your dad, kid... I'm not made for that shit."

"But you-" Glenn started.

"I ain't tryin' to be a bastard about this, Glenn," Merle interrupted. "But you have a dad. And I'm pretty sure he's a good guy. He raised you right... He's still out there somewhere, and even if he ain't, he's still your dad. I ain't anything like him. I'm vulgar and wishy washy. Don't know what the hell I'm doin' and sure as hell ain't good with kids. You should know that better than anyone."

Glenn shrugged. "I'm glad you're here anyway. Dad or not... I'm glad you're back."

Merle exhaled and pulled out of the hug. He was glad to be back too. "I brought you some stuff you left at the funeral home."

"Why?" Glenn frowned as Merle walked around to the other side of the bed and retrieved the back pack. Glenn scooted over so Merle could sit down next to him on the bed. "We're gonna be going back there... Right?" He frowned. "You didn't bring this stuff because you're planning on leaving me here.. I can still stay with you, right?"

"Yeah... I'm stayin' with you. You're gonna have to be here for a while though... and maybe we don't need to go back. I know you don't wanna live in a fuckin' funeral home for the rest of your life. We can both move on to somethin' better. Maybe we could stay at the hospital, finally be safe for once," Merle explained, opening up Sam's back pack and pulling out some of its contents. "Thought you'd want your pictures. I'll look in the gift shop for a little album to put 'em in if you want."

Glenn took the photos in his hands and looked down. "You want to stay here?" He frowned.

Merle shrugged and pulled more items out of the backpack. He wasn't sure living with other people was something he wanted to do long-term, but maybe for a while, he could force himself to stay here just for Glenn's sake - so the kid would be safe. Maybe Merle could search for somewhere safer and more pleasant while Glenn healed. "Here's that." He handed Glenn the little pad of paper he'd been writing on.

Glenn's cheeks grew red as he grabbed the paper and brought it protectively against his chest. "You didn't read these, did you?"

Merle shook his head. "Thought it was just drawings of cars. Didn't even know you wrote anything," he lied. "I got you some books from the library too. Took your car sketches as inspiration." He handed Glenn the books about cars and then the ones about the prince and princess and their adventures. "Don't know if these are your type of book, but I can get you something better later if you don't like 'em."

With a small gasp, Glenn grabbed the small stack of chapter-books and shuffled through them. "I've heard of these! My sister read me one when I was little. She loved them. Prince Grayson and Princess Margaret. She really liked them because the princess doesn't always have to be saved by the prince. They work together. The princess even saves the prince sometimes for a change."

Merle shrugged. Of course Glenn would be into weird feminist bullshit children's books. "Well, if you want, I can see if they have more at the library. Or look for somethin' else. Don't understand the card catalog bullshit, but I'll do what I can."

"Thanks, Merle," Glenn put the books down and embraced Merle again. He pulled back and looked down at the pile of stuff now on top of his uninjured leg. He looked at the top car book - one which looked relatively new. "Sam and I used to talk about all the newest cars - about which ones we'd want when we turned sixteen. Not that we'd be able to afford them. It's weird to think there's never gonna be a new car ever again."

"You can afford any of 'em now though," Merle noted. "Don't gotta be sixteen anymore either. I can teach you to drive as soon as you're recovered if you want. If we can find a working car."

"Really?" Glenn smiled at him.

Merle nodded. "Yeah. We move in someplace safer, go out and find cars for fun when we get too sick of playing it safe."

"But we don't really have to move..." Glenn frowned.

"I hear people live here even when they're not sick or injured, Glenn," Merle noted. "Air conditioning, running water... other people."

Glenn looked down. "Other people isn't always a good thing."

Merle's shoulders slumped. "Thought you liked other people... You're startin' to sound like me. Have the doctors an' everyone been bein' nice to you in here? Someone bein' an asshole to you? Point 'em out."

Glenn stared at him with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open slightly. "N-no... Just... I don't know..."

"If you wanted me to act like I'm your dad, let me," Merle spoke in a low voice. "If I was your dad, and someone in this hospital was bein' anything but nice to you, I'd make sure they never did it again. You been wanting to be around people and now that you're finally with them, you act like you don't wanna be anymore..."

Glenn swallowed and looked down. He seemed to be hiding something. Merle hoped someone had just been kind of rude and that nothing significant happened. It seemed child-molesters were fucking everywhere these days, but surely Glenn wouldn't have happened to run into two instances like that in less than a week... Especially when the population of the city was next to nothing.

"You're acting paranoid, Glenn." Merle frowned. "You don't got to be around people you don't like or who aren't treating you right. I can personally make sure of that. So if someone did somethin, even if they scared you or told you to keep quiet about it, you gotta tell me. It doesn't matter if he said something would happen if you didn't keep it a secret. You can trust me when I tell you I'll take care of it."

Glenn swallowed. "You're not gonna kill him or anything though, right?"

Merle felt his stomach do a flip. Glenn had pretty much just admitted that someone had done something to scare him or make him feel uneasy. If anyone had touched him or hurt him, Merle was going to fucking kill the motherfucker. He'd worked so hard to keep the boy safe from that... just to leave him in the hands of strangers who may have hurt him anyway. "Who?" Merle asked in a more stern voice. "And what did he do?"

Glenn shook his head. "Nothing... It wasn't a big deal... I just don't want to be around him anymore... You can't kill him or beat him up... And don't tell him I said anything. I just don't want to stay here forever if he's here."

"Why not?" Merle frowned and could hear clear anger his voice.

Glenn shrugged.

Merle exhaled tiredly. "Just tell me who it is and what he did. I won't kill him. I promise. I'll just talk to whoever runs this place and see if they can kick him out or something. Tell me what happened."

Swallowing, Glenn looked down at his lap. "You don't have to do anything about about it... I'm not sure what it even was. Just... stay with me so he can't do anything... I mean, if he even was doing anything. I was kind of confused..."

Merle felt his hand tightening into a fist as he stared down at Glenn. He shook his head and spoke in a low, serious, almost threatening voice. "You gotta fucking tell me what's going on, Glenn. The things you're sayin'... I don't know what the fuck happened, but the way you're talkin', it seems like whatever it was wasn't nothin' good. Give me answers, right fuckin' now."

Glenn frowned and bit his lower lip as tears shimmered in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Merle... I didn't mean to make you mad. I-"

"No," Merle shook his head and put his hand on Glenn's knee. "You ain't makin' me mad... Just tell me what happened. I ain't mad at you... I'm mad that you're telling me half of a fuckin' story that's scaring the hell out of me. I gotta know the other half."

Glenn nodded, but closed his eyes. "It's not a big deal. Maybe I worded it wrong and made it sound worse than it really was..."

"Okay..." Merle nodded cautiously... "Just tell me the rest then. Nothin' bad's gonna come from you telling me, okay? So whatever it was, just get it out so we can decide how to deal with it."

"It was a nurse named Donny..." Glenn finally explained in a hesitant voice. "The other nurse called him Don. He didn't really do anything... Maybe it wasn't even wrong what he did. It just made me feel uncomfortable and nervous... but doctors always get closer to their patients than normal people would on a normal day... I mean, I got shot in the leg. He has to touch my leg to look at it. Maybe I over-reacted..."

"Over-reacted to what?" Merle frowned.

"Well..." Glenn hesitated again. "He said I couldn't have more pain pills yet, and said there were other ways to get pain to go away, like... by rubbing my shoulders... but maybe he was right. I don't know... That wasn't even the scariest part. It was just kind of weird. But then he started looking at my leg, to see if it looked okay, and he kept moving his hand higher up... But he said he was making sure my leg wasn't numb... making sure I could still feel everything normal, and seeing if my muscle was deteriorating. But I said it felt fine, and he didn't let go... and he kept moving his hand higher."

Merle frowned. "That don't sound right."

"He told me to feel his leg to compare..." Glenn still looked down, putting his fingertips on his own thigh near his groin. "He was feeling here, with my hand and his... and he made me feel his leg too, right here," he pointed cautiously toward Merle's leg right by the man's crotch. "He wouldn't stop, even when I told him to... Another nurse knocked on the door and then he got scared and let go... Maybe I was being overly dramatic though and he just got scared because I said I'd scream... and he didn't want to get in trouble because he didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I was being crazy."

Merle stared down at him. The fact that the guy wouldn't stop even when Glenn asked him to proved he was up to no good. Doctors and nurses always made sure their patients knew what was happening during various procedures and backed off if the patient was uncomfortable... especially with kids. "I'll go see what I can do about him." Merle offered as he stood up.

"Don't be mean though... I don't want him to know I told you," Glenn said nervously.

"He'll never know," Merle nodded and left the room.

xxxxxx


	25. Harmless

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Chapter 25

xxxxxx

With his hands clenched into fists, Merle paced down the hallway. He had to play this cool. He didn't want anyone to know how pissed he was, because he didn't want anyone to try to stop him from what he planned to do.

"Hey, Merle. Did he wake up? You get a chance to talk to him yet?" The young nurse from before wondered.

"Yeah... Um, do you know a nurse named Donny?" Merle asked in as calm a voice as he could manage.

"Why?" The nurse's smile fell. "Did Glenn say something about him? I caught him in Glenn's room earlier and they both looked somewhat startled... I asked Glenn about it. He said nothing was wrong... That Donny just scared him into thinking something was wrong with his leg or something. Donny's got a reputation around here for not really having a way with words... Glenn didn't seem too upset, so I let it go... but maybe he felt more comfortable talking to you about it?"

"No, it's nothing serious," Merle answered. "Just wanted to talk to him. Glenn said that was the last staff member to really talk to him about his progress, so I wanted to talk to him to see if he can tell me anything Glenn forgot to mention. Just wanna stay informed."

"Oh," Madeline frowned. "Well, he's not really Glenn's nurse. Don makes everyone's business his own. Really shouldn't have ever been talking to Glenn in the first place. You should talk to me or his doctor about that."

Merle exhaled. "No offense, lady, but you look like you're fourteen years old. I'd rather talk to someone more competent. I'm sure the doctor's busy, so where's this Donny guy?"

Madeline frowned. "I'll have you know I'm perfectly qualified and probably know more about Glenn's case than anyone."

"I'll find him myself," Merle exhaled and walked past her.

"He's probably on the roof," she finally told him. "He takes frequent smoke breaks up there."

"Perfect," Merle muttered to himself. "How do I get up there?"

"Take the stairs all the way to the top. The door's marked. Usually locked, but not when he's out there. He's got the key," the nurse explained. "I still know more about Glenn's progress than he does though. I guess you can ask me once you want to know more than whatever that lunatic rattles off." She turned and stomped away.

Merle laughed. He really didn't have a problem with that particular girl... He just needed to talk to the other nurse. She couldn't know why, so Merle had had to be a bit rude. He didn't necessarily regret it though. He enjoyed pushing people's buttons.

He turned and made his way up the stairs and toward the door which was marked with a sign reading: 'Roof Access. Authorized Personnel Only.' He pushed the door open and stepped outside, squinting slightly in the sunlight.

As Merle walked over the flat surface, a man standing near the edge and looking out over the street turned and glanced at him. He was wearing scrubs and had a short beard and mustache combo and a receding hairline. He wore a name tag that confirmed that his name was in fact 'Donny.' Merle swallowed bile in his throat, thinking about this gross creep trying to grope all over Glenn and act like it was normal. That kind of person was very dangerous, which was quite apparent judging by the fact that he had Glenn confused about what exactly had even happened. In a way, people like this guy were even worse than people like Tim. At least with Tim it was obvious he was a sick bastard. This guy Donny had his victims wondering if he even did anything wrong.

"Hey, you probably shouldn't be up here, man," the guy said as he noticed Merle. "You lost? Waiting on someone or looking for a doctor or something? I can help you find where you're supposed to be."

"Nah. I came out here for some air. Figured it'd be better than pacing around in the street and getting eaten alive," Merle offered a raspy laugh. "You got any extra cigarettes?" he asked, nodding toward the half-burnt down cigarette in Don's hand.

"Sure," the nurse smiled. "So, you come in here for medical treatment or you waitin' on someone?" he asked while fishing a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket and handing one to Merle. "Need a light?"

Merle nodded, letting the man light the cigarette for him before taking it. "Waitin' on that kid I brought in yesterday," Merle told him. "He's sleepin'. Guess they have him on pretty strong drugs."

Don nodded. "You mean Glenn. Yeah, he's a sweet kid. Everyone around here loves him. He's the only child patient here at the moment, so he's getting all kinds of attention."

"Yeah..." Merle fought the urge to punch the guy in the back of the head as Don looked back out over the street.

Glenn's description of his encounter with this man had nearly convinced Merle that there was no way anything Don did was at all innocent, but he had to make extra sure, and knew it would be easy. Predators like that tended to be more open when they thought they were in the company of their own. Merle had heard some pretty sick confessions from men who assumed he was like them. He didn't always hang around the most reputable people.

"Found him all by himself earlier this week," Merle noted. "Totally alone. Nobody else around at all."

"Yeah?" Don looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Bet it wasn't hard to convince him to stick around with all the risen out there wreaking havoc. Poor little kid was probably scared half to death all on his own."

"He was," Merle went on, swallowing and feeling sick just thinking about the things he was about to say in order to get a better read on this guy. "I told him he couldn't stay with me at first. He got real desperate real fast. Said he'd do anything."

"Anything, hm? Like what?" Don wondered, taking another drag of his cigarette.

Merle shrugged. "Just anything. A little kindness and protection goes a long way with kids. Especially these days. Give him a roof over his head, promise not to let him get eaten alive, and he'll do whatever I want."

"Oh," Don nodded as though guessing at what Merle was getting at. "Yeah... I'll bet."

"He's a soft little thing," Merle went on, wanting to get more of a solid confession out of this guy. "Fragile, but can still do what I need him for. You got anything like that worked out around here? I'll bet lots of kids get brought through here."

Don shrugged. "Not as many as you'd think. Most of 'em don't survive, and many of the ones that do live this long and make their way over here come in with a parent, so I kind of hang back. I had a kid once, back when I worked here as an actual job - in the old world... this kid told his parents all this shit about what I did. Almost got me fired. I just had to keep to my story that it was just a medical thing and the kid misinterpreted it. That was too close a call. I don't mess with the ones who still have parents. Not that I could really lose all that much these days... What, are people gonna put me on a sex offender list?" The nurse laughed.

"Yeah, I hear ya," Merle forced a laugh. "Glenn'll keep quiet."

"I should hope so," Don laughed. "I haven't spent much time with him, but did a little test drive today."

"Did you? What did you try?" Merle tried to appear interested.

Don shrugged. "Not much. He was scared, and one of the nurses came by before I got far. Just ran my hand up his leg, ran his hand up mine. Working toward something better. I think I scared him enough that he won't talk. Not that anything would happen anyway. What, are they gonna fire me? Put me in jail?" He laughed.

Merle shook his head and watched Don turn back around to look out over the city. "No. Probably not..." Merle agreed, staring at the back of the guy's head. "You gotta deal with people like you different these days," he added as he reached out and shoved the guy quite forcefully so that he stumbled forward.

"What the hell!?" Don gasped as he tripped and fell against the short cement wall between him and the ground four stories below.

Merle felt a growl in the back of his throat as he lunged forward and grabbed the guy by the front of his shirt. "Ain't so tough when you're not molesting little boys, are you?"

"What?" Don seemed legitimately shocked. "You said-"

Merle shook his head as he hauled the man up precariously near the edge.

"Wait!" Don screamed, obviously frantic. "Let me up! I-I didn't-" He stuttered. "I didn't really... I mean..." He inhaled and exhaled loud, deep breaths. "I didn't do anything... You said you did... I was just playing along... I..."

"Shut your damn mouth," Merle growled, pushing the guy even further up over the small cement ledge so that his entire torso was over nothing but air. "This is for all the little kids who came here expecting you to fucking help them, only to have you grope all over 'em instead. Glenn's here because he was fucking shot... Shot while trying to help people... And sick cunts like you think a kid like that exists only to feed some disgusting sexual urge? How can you see an injured child and want to do that to him? Why would you do that?"

"I didn't hurt him! I wouldn't-" Don breathed out. "Please... I never hurt anyone. I love kids. I would never hurt a child. I swear. It was only ever small things. I scared him is all, but it was harmless."

"Ain't nothin' harmless about that," Merle growled, dragging Don even further over the ledge so that he was practically sitting on it, gripping Merle's arms tightly to keep himself from falling. That wasn't going to work. "Glenn and I are staying here for the time being. That means there's no place for you. I brought him here so he'd be safe and so he wouldn't have to feel scared every fucking day. People like you scare kids. You don't need to fucking exist. I won't have him sleep under the same roof as you."

"I'll go," Don exhaled. "Just let me up... I'll tell the others I want to go look for my family. I'll just leave. I-"

Merle shook his head and hefted the man the rest of the way over, letting go and staring at him with narrowed eyes as Don screamed for what was probably the longest single second of the man's life before thudding heavily against the sidewalk below. Merle stared down at the man as Don groaned loud enough for Merle to hear him, looked down at his legs, and started screaming - likely noticing bones protruding from broken limbs. Merle frowned. Don wasn't supposed to survive that.

"Help me! Oh my god! My legs!" Don screamed, probably hoping some of his fellow hospital staff would come to his rescue. They were on the back side of the building though. As far as Merle knew, there weren't guards hanging out back there. Probably no one could see him. They might be able to hear him though.

Merle couldn't help but grin as he noticed a couple nearby walkers react to the sound of Don's screams and start making their way over. Don continued screaming as the walkers crowded around him. Merle smirked and flicked his cigarette off the roof toward the man. He turned and made his way back inside. Problem solved.

xxxxxx


	26. Together

xxxxxx

Chapter 26

xxxxxx

Glenn flipped the page in one of the books Merle had brought him from the library. It was all about cars, and had a lot of new ones from as recent as last year in it. The book was informational - listed parts of cars, explained how to change oil and tires or refill various fluids. Glenn was more interested in the cars themselves. He was pretty excited by the fact that Merle had offered to teach him to drive. He didn't even need a license, and he didn't even need to be able to afford the car. There were so many cars parked around the city. A lot of them were burnt or had broken windows (people got destructive when the world ended) but Glenn had seen more than a few perfectly untouched cars. Beautiful ones with shiny paint, probably full tanks of gas, just waiting for Glenn to come along and claim them as his own.

He looked at the next page, running his finger tips over a photo of a shiny red Ferrari. He was really tired - an affect from his pain meds, but was so excited about Merle being back and didn't want to fall asleep again before the man returned from whatever he was doing. He was keeping himself occupied with the book so he wouldn't accidentally drift off. It was working too. All the gorgeous cars in this made him feel optimistic and excited, especially now that Merle had promised to help him find one and learn to drive it.

As he looked at the images in the book, he wondered what Merle was going to do about Donny. Glenn hadn't even been entirely sure what the nurse had done was even wrong. It seemed wrong... The fact that the man had told him not to tell anyone seemed wrong... The fact that Donny had closed the blinds and seemed angry when Glenn asked him to back off seemed wrong... But when he explained it out loud to Merle, he wasn't so sure anymore. It seemed like it could have been legitimate medical stuff - seeing if his muscles were normal - comparing them to muscles that were normal... Checking that his skin wasn't numb or discolored... Was it really wrong? It had been very uncomfortable and scary, but a lot of things at hospitals did. No one liked going to doctor appointments, because things were always painful or uncomfortable or awkward. Shots, blood pressure cuffs that got painfully tight, doctors poking and prodding... Having his mom with him always made Glenn feel more okay with it, but every doctor he'd ever been to had touched him more than Glenn would have let any other adult. He felt confused about what Donny had done. Maybe it was only so scary because his mom wasn't there. But then, the other doctors and nurses here hadn't done anything like that...

Glenn gasped softly as he heard the door to his room creak open. What if it was Donny again? He stared with wide eyes and exhaled a relieved breath when he saw that it was Merle instead.

"Is everything okay?" Glenn asked nervously. "Did you say anything to Donny? What happened?"

Merle smiled and paced across the room, sitting down on the side of the bed and putting his arm around Glenn's shoulders. "Don't gotta worry about him anymore, Glenn."

Glenn's eyes widened and he felt his chest grow gold. "What did you do?"

Merle narrowed his eyes as he looked back down at Glenn. He hesitated before offering a very simple answer. "Talked to his boss. They asked him to leave. And he did."

"Oh," Glenn looked down. That seemed almost too easy. "So, what he did was wrong then?" He still wasn't sure, and expected that if anyone confronted Donny's superiors about it, they wouldn't be sure either. It wasn't like what Tim had done, where Glenn was absolutely certain the man's intentions were anything but innocent. This time it was unclear and confusing.

"Yeah, Glenn. Very wrong." Merle frowned down at him. "If anybody ever gives you even a hint of a feeling like that guy did, you tell me, okay? And if I ain't here, tell someone else. All I had to do was tell his boss, and now he's gone. Was easy... So even if he told you not to say anything or you weren't sure... Just tell someone. If you feel weird about how an adult is acting around you, it probably ain't nothin'. You feelin' nervous and uneasy is a warning sign - your brain telling you to get the fuck outta there and tell someone."

"I couldn't get out." Glenn frowned. "I can't walk yet."

"I mean in general. If telling someone afterward is the best you can do, then do it," Merle told him. "Not that you'll have a problem like that again anytime soon. I'm not leaving again."

"Okay," Glenn leaned back, snuggling closer to Merle, who was now sharing the bed with him. Fortunately, Glenn didn't take up much space, so there as room for both of them. He noticed Merle still had his boots on, even with his feet on the bed. He was on top of the covers though, so Glenn didn't suppose it mattered. "Why did you leave, Merle?" He wondered.

Merle exhaled. "I dunno, Glenn," he leaned back against the bed's pillow. "You scared the hell outta me getting shot like that. I was scared you wouldn't make it."

Glenn frowned. "Then why did you leave before you knew if I was okay? I woke up and you were gone..."

Merle stared ahead. For a moment, Glenn wondered if his question was going to remain unanswered. "I didn't want to know..." Merle finally said.

"You didn't want to know if I was okay?" Glenn stuck out his lower lip. It didn't make sense.

Merle shook his head. "I didn't want to know if you weren't," he clarified. "I'm doin' fine not knowing if my brother is alive or not... I just assume he is, because there's no reason to think he isn't. I figured I'd do the same with you... It wasn't the right thing to do... I wasn't thinkin'."

Glenn smiled. "So you don't want to be like a dad, but you think I'm kinda like your brother? Like you're my big brother?"

Merle laughed. "I've got forty fuckin' years on you, Glenn."

"So..." Glenn shrugged. "You don't want to be a dad, but you're already a brother. You know how to be a brother. It won't be as scary as being a dad. I can settle for that. I've always wanted a brother."

Shaking his head softly, Merle laughed again. "I guess you could look at it like that. If you gotta give it a name."

Glenn laid his head against Merle's arm and closed his eyes. "It doesn't need a name, I guess. You don't have to be a dad or a brother or anything else. You've just got to be Merle... And you are. We can stay here, or go back to the funeral home, or go live with Nora and Tracy... As long as we go together, I'll be okay with it. Someone told me now's the time to make new families, because so many people out there don't have their original families anymore. I think you and I are family now."

"Family never meant that much to me, Glenn," Merle told him, tightening his half-embrace around Glenn's shoulders. "If I learned anything growin' up, it's that family doesn't really gotta mean shit. I mean, it worked out that Daryl isn't too much of a prick, but beyond that, I don't miss my family at all."

"I miss mine," Glenn told him with a yawn. "But I have you now, and whether we're family or not, I don't feel alone anymore. I lost a lot of important people, but I found someone important too."

Merle didn't speak as Glenn snuggled down against him. Glenn didn't need him to. He knew by now that Merle wasn't as openly emotional as most people - that he wasn't going to come out and tell people how he felt unless how he felt was exceptionally negative. Merle's actions spoke louder than any words could have.

He had finally rid himself of Glenn for good. He could have easily stayed gone and moved on with his life, but he didn't. He came all the way back, because he cared. He helped Glenn fight back against the men in the street tormenting Tracy and Nora even though he didn't want to. He could have just let Glenn go then, but he didn't. The man had even gone out of his way to find books specifically because he thought Glenn would like them.

Glenn felt a smile tugging his lips as his limbs grew heavy and his mind relaxed. He felt safe with Merle's arm around him, and finally felt content for the first time since he'd arrived at this hospital. He didn't know what the future held for him and Merle, but he knew they'd face it together.

xxxxxx


End file.
